Women's Only Please: The Use of Force During Sex

[HiddenLacey]

Well, this thread has a lot of posts, but only six women have given their opinions so far:

Dolfette and Gillette feel that discussing your kinks, using force, or sex in general is a turn-off. They only want non-verbal communication about sex and for their partners to read their body language.

On the side of definitely talk about sex, especially kinks or using force during sex is me, Miss Petite, and Embrace69. We both feel that maybe you shouldn't actually discuss while in the middle of sex, you should know where your partner stand on everything and be open about talking about all of it, especially if force is under consideration.

SubmissiveGirl83 was on the fence in the subject, unsure of how she really feels about it. She would like it if her boyfriend brought up what sort of kinks he likes, but she doesn't do it herself and rarely discusses sex with him. Ideally she likes the idea, but doesn't put it into practice.

Enid likes the fact that her relationship has reached a point where she no longer needs to discuss sex with her boyfriend because they know one another so well now, but she did not discuss how they reached that point from the beginning of her relationship, through talking about sex, or arriving at it through non-verbal discussion only or how she feels that couples should go about getting to that point in their relationships.

Ladies please correct me if you feel that I've misrepresented your positions. That isn't my intention and if I have I apologize and humbly kiss your feet. Just tell me I'm a dolt and correct me! :redface:

:tongue: I have never been so horribly misrepresented in my life... JUST KIDDING:biggrin1: Sounds about right for my rather confused imput on the subject!!! Thanks for trying to get our opinions.

 

[petite]

I kinda want to drop a warning here, because this discussion might get some people in trouble on the male side of the forum.

In Canada, it isn't enough to communicate in 'whatever way works' for you if you end up in court fighting against sexual assault charges. It might work in a relationship on a personal level, but judges aren't exactly at the forefront of new trends in sexual relationships. Because of that, there is no such thing as implied consent, which means that as a guy, you can't simply assume that you have consent to do whatever you want to do. If there is no consent, then unless the situation was incredibly odd, you're on the hook and need to provide a defense.

You can be put into this situation even if there's nothing to tip you off about it: If the person you're having sex with is doing so because she's afraid (even an unreasonable fear that you had no way of knowing about), then her consent isn't freely given.

The only thing you can do at that point in the trial would be to build a defense: claim that you had an honest mistaken belief. Because of how strong this defense is, you need to provide evidence that the judge can accept or toss away before he instructs the jury to take this belief into account. If you don't have any evidence that would lead you to have a mistaken belief, you're probably boned. Couples can typically point to their relationship as the source of the mistake if there's no evidence pointing the other way (recent physical abuse, violence, etc). Random hookups, by contrast, have far less to go on so play it safer there.

So despite the fact that context and circumstance seem to play an integral role, protect yourself by talking about the subject beforehand and be certain that what both of you are doing is exactly what both of you want.

Sorry for intruding!

Thank you for your eloquence! You have expressed beautifully what I failed to articulate!

 

[petite]

Please ladies, I'm interested in your honest opinions. What do you think? :smile:

 

[petite]

L_egit brought up a good point because research shows that men are not good at reading women's body language. Getting verbal confirmation should be a must.

According to the research, men can't tell the difference between sexual interest and friendliness, which is serious business because it can lead to date rape:
But Her Body Language Said 'Yes!' - Lab Notes Blog - Newsweek.com

Another take on the same research, from a dating point of view:
Why the female flirt is wasting her time | Mail Online

Even with using words to communicate, men and women still have enormous communication issues. Michael Motley's research on miscommunication between men and women, that lead men to think a woman means "Yes" when she meant "no":
UC Davis News & Information :: Why College Men May Hear 'Yes' When Women Mean 'No'

I was bothered that "up to 85 percent of college women have had at least one experience in which a man attempts to escalate physical intimacy beyond the point that she has said "stop," experiences they usually regard as unpleasant."

 

[bigdog83]

So, are you in favor of men who want to use force to just go ahead and do it without talking about it with us and it's up to us to say no?

I'm personally of the opinion that that's not a good strategy for either men or women to follow in order to get what you want.

that's you.

me, i've almost never had those uncomfortable moments.
and talking about an act kills all the magic of it, so it's worse than uncomfortable, it's ruined.

the way i do it works for me. those moments you describe as uncomfortable have never happened. he communicates a request, i communicate a decline, we move on. no big deal.

i couldn't sleep with an, ''i love it when you...'' type.

who the hell talks about sex? I dont meet women and ask them when should we start having sex? is it ok if we have sex tomorrow night? i think its time.
im not going to have a talk the night before if i can "pin down your wirsts" because its rough.

boringggggggggggggggggggggggggg


I wouldnt consider that rough either, as that is used as examples in posts. I would consider rough, pounding her as hard and fast as i can to the point it will cause pain the next day and give me a full 8hrs of sleep that night.

its a couple's job to know what the other person is feeling. why would i want to say, "tomorrow night i was wondering if I can fuck you really hard?"

 

[petite]

who the hell talks about sex? I dont meet women and ask them when should we start having sex? is it ok if we have sex tomorrow night? i think its time.
im not going to have a talk the night before if i can "pin down your wirsts" because its rough.

boringggggggggggggggggggggggggg


I wouldnt consider that rough either, as that is used as examples in posts. I would consider rough, pounding her as hard and fast as i can to the point it will cause pain the next day and give me a full 8hrs of sleep that night.

its a couple's job to know what the other person is feeling. why would i want to say, "tomorrow night i was wondering if I can fuck you really hard?"

Who talks about sex? People who want to have really great sex.

Pay more attention to the OP, will you? No one said that anyone should discuss beforehand every time you have missionary sex.

We're talking about whether your new lover should suprise you by role playing a rape fantasy the first time or if you might have a few things to discuss first.

Why would you make talking about sex with you sound so unappetizing? Makes sex with you sound really boring.

Talking about sex should turn your partner on. It should be like the best foreplay, not like some contract meeting. You don't even have to actual talk, you can sext all the dirty little things you want to do over the course of the day, or you can watch porn and say tell her that what you've watched just turned you on and you want to do it. Oh my god, you just talked about sex when you did that!

Amazing!

 

[bigdog83]

I was bothered that "up to 85 percent of college women have had at least one experience in which a man attempts to escalate physical intimacy beyond the point that she has said "stop," experiences they usually regard as unpleasant."

thats because up to 85% women put them selfs in this experience.

I'll give 2 examples.
One friend told me how she was "almost raped". he was home alone and invited some guy over who she knew had the hots for her. she wanted to watch a movie. he made a move, she said no. he kept trying untill she pushed him off. i bet she flirted with him too. why would you do this?

another friend had a stalker, crazy 40yr old virgin type still living at home. she wouldnt come out and say leave me alone, as she needed too. instead would tell him to meet her at her church etc because she felt bad. well the guy asked her to marry him one night during some church meeting.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I have only read the first page of this thread, so pardon if the opinion has already been worded similarly-

It depends on what pretenses you are hooking up. If you met in a BDSM situation, or a ball torture fetish website or something. It's a little more obvious the sexual flavor each of you have. Even still there are mistakes to be made and sometimes what one would consider normal the other could consider uncomfortable.

How about the situations where sex was unplanned with that person, maybe you didn't talk about it at first but some intense kissing led to sex. I don't think most of us think "Now is the time to stop him before he goes down on me so i can explain my parameters"

Personally, i think if one has too much to talk about too soon about your bedroom preferences that it could be a red flag. Like i said, if you are meeting from a sex site it is one thing, but if you are on your first date and haven't spoken before, it could or could not be a good thing. Some assume that getting your opinion out there is the most important thing, but it could indicate you have had enough bad situations with men that you are bringing it up first and foremost because you are worried. It could make you look incredibly picky, hard to please, paranoid or having been hurt so much you have a hard time trusting.

If this is the case...so be it, but everything you are talking to a person about says something about you. You need to also consider how this might come off given the venue you are in. Some people are easy to talk to and open the door first for this conversation to be easily talked about. I'll admit i didn't have any worries about someone being too rough with me or forceful. If anything i pick a pretty gentle type of male personality that they tend to not act like a gorilla in bed. And because of that i crave him to let out some of his worldly and work frustrations in the bedroom.

If i attracted an aggressive type persona i would likely be pretty turned off and we wouldnt be fucking later anyway. Some people can be entirely surprising in bed but i have had pretty consistant results when it comes to how a guy acts at the dinner table can say a lot about how he acts in the bedroom.

Forceful doesn't equate rough to me, or vice versa. For example you can forcefully give your cat medicine when they won't take it but not be rough with them. You can be firm, but not rough or disrespectful. How we see things is an amalgum of what we've experienced and who we are. Since I've not had bad experiences with men in this arena, i didn't feel it necessary to have these conversations beforehand.

Also, since i've been with my husband so long and what we do is pretty much not surprising to any great extent when we have sex, he could something adventurous, rough or forceful and i wouldn't think the same thing about it as i would a guy doing it the first time we have sex.

Sometimes sex can be like kissing, we all have a different style. Some people shove their tongue down your throat, others barely put their tongue out of their mouth at all. Some people are just perfect kissers. Some people need to be taught what is good kissing. Maybe no one has told them their style is not attractive to most people, or you.

I don't believe everything sexual should be talked about like business. Sex isnt business when its in a casual setting and if you are coming across a lot of guys who are disrespectful in the bedroom when you are casually getting to know one another, i'd ask you to consider your preferences and see if they are hypersensitive or where you are meeting these types. I don't think most guys act that way in bed, especially at first.

 

[petite]

Men get so confused by the word "talk". It just drives home the point in those three articles I posted before.

I think I need to make a new thread in the Sex Forum called "Talking About Sex" because men seem to think that the word "talking" means sitting down and having a serious conversation. NO!

Yes, you should discuss your kinks and what turns you on with your lover, but it should turn your lover on! You can do it in lots of sexy ways. Like I wrote above, you can sext what you want to do to your lover what kinky things you want to do with them, flirting back and forth all day until both of you can't wait to get home. Discussing your kinks should never be boring! You can watch porn together and talk about what's hot and what's not in it and say, let's do that! That would be fun!

Jeez, guys are clueless.

 

[bigdog83]

Men get so confused by the word "talk". It just drives home the point in those three articles I posted before.

I think I need to make a new thread in the Sex Forum called "Talking About Sex" because men seem to think that the word "talking" means sitting down and having a serious conversation. NO!

Yes, you should discuss your kinks and what turns you on with your lover, but it should turn your lover on! You can do it in lots of sexy ways. Like I wrote above, you can sext what you want to do to your lover what kinky things you want to do with them, flirting back and forth all day until both of you can't wait to get home. Discussing your kinks should never be boring! You can watch porn together and talk about what's hot and what's not in it and say, let's do that! That would be fun!

Jeez, guys are clueless.

lol. the posts i read were nothing like this. this is ok.

 

[kit_kat]

You need to have discussed it before it happens, even if you plan to "surprise" each other, you need to discuss earlier on whether the person is open to being surprised. You don't know how the person will react to a real surprise and if it does not click right away for the person that you are playing rather than you suddenly lost your mind and are now attacking them you could end up injured or dead.

Personally, I have a very strong instinct for self preservation, I can't suppress that even if it's a "safe" situation, so you cannot surprise me even if we have talked about it in the past. We need to have discussed it previously and we need to have affirmation right at the point when it's about to happen. If someone surprised me, I would be going for his balls or his eyes to hurt him long enough to distract him so I can get something heavy to hit him over the head with, hit him over the head, at least twice so he doesn't get up, and then run out the door to the neighbors, if he's down, grab my phone to call the police as I am running out. And then we would find out that he was just trying something sexually. Surprises don't work for me, because my instinct will be to stop you by any means possible and ask questions later - and since I am not physically strong I will be going for a weapon. Not a good situation.

Of course what petite says about sexual assault and rape is important, and it's not just about the man being accused of sexual assault and rape - the woman might feel sexually assaulted or raped, in which case the relationship is over even if explanations and apologies are accepted after the fact.

 

[Daisy]

This thread got pretty wordy so without reading all the posts I will say that I don't like extensive discussion about things like force or boundaries other than pretty general things (don't like anal sex etc). One thing I have found is that I don't know if I like force until a guy is doing it. I wouldnt have expected to like some of the aggression (for lack of a better word) I've experienced during sex. I def. don't like the whole dominant thing, but some roughness I do like. I would prefer to have him sort of test the waters and let me decide at the time if I like it or not, and I'm not shy about saying "thats too rough" or "I don't like that". Sometimes you just have to discover your boundaries while you're "in it".

 

[petite]

I made a thread about how to talk about sex:

http://www.lpsg.org/183286-dirty-kinky-and-sexy-or.html

 

[dolfette]

bdsm is really too complex a game to cover in a pre-sex conversation.

people who want to do serious bdsm, need it in order to be fulfilled or go on ''play dates'' usually use a checklist & safeword system.

The BRC BDSM Check List

it's a long, long list.
people wanting to hook up swap lists.

 

[B_Craiggers]

who the hell talks about sex? I dont meet women and ask them when should we start having sex? is it ok if we have sex tomorrow night? i think its time.
im not going to have a talk the night before if i can "pin down your wirsts" because its rough.

boringggggggggggggggggggggggggg


I wouldnt consider that rough either, as that is used as examples in posts. I would consider rough, pounding her as hard and fast as i can to the point it will cause pain the next day and give me a full 8hrs of sleep that night.

its a couple's job to know what the other person is feeling. why would i want to say, "tomorrow night i was wondering if I can fuck you really hard?"

wierd. Because from this thread which about women asking what they want for out of sex http://www.lpsg.org/168211-hey-question-for-the-girls.html you say...

Im not a girl, nor a mind reader. Im pretty good with this stuff, but i always ask what she wants and if she likes something. if a girl is too shy during the momment, i can understand that. because sometimes i have had talks just randomly. but if u want me to play games like this, NEXTTTTTTTTTTTT lolz. its called communication. you dont have to be a pro, but just help out.

Just in a mysoginistic mood this week I guess? Anyways, thanks for sharing your opinion about this and what causes flirty girls to get raped. It was fascinating.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I think that something I said in one of my earlier posts was taken out of context. I made a comment about a guy pinning my wrists down being rough. What I meant by this is this is more of a dominant characteristic. NOT that I would expect to have a long drawn out coversation about whether or not it would be appropriate for him to do this or how it would make me feel. I was just trying to explain to Petite the difference in between roughness and forcefulness in my mind. I like roughness I like to feel dominated. Normally this is not something I would or ever have spoken with someone about. I said I considered it forceful if he held me there and wouldn't let me up if I struggled or asked him to stop. I'm talking in an everyday average sex situation not in a bdsm context. I wouldn't expect to have this discussion before he attempted something like this. Obvisiously if I'm having sex with the guy I trust him enough to listen to me and watch my reaction to something he's doing.

 

[B_curiousme01]

I think a large part of acceptable 'force' depends upon your comfort level with your partner and your individual idea of what is forceful. I think there are different 'rules' (for lack of a better term) for people just hooking up and those in longterm relationships. My husband and I have been together for a very longtime and still have amazing sex. We do not discuss what's going to happen or if something can happen. Unless it involves toys, he doesn't ask many questions. He can be forceful all he wants with me. I truly trust him with my life. He has never, ever hurt me (on purpose) and is a master of my body language. So I have no fear in mind when we are having sex. None. Majority of the time he is the leader and I the follower. I guess maybe I am more submissive than I thought I was! Anyways, if I don't like something, he can tell and moves on. So for us it is not a matter of the spoken word, but those of our bodies mostly silent communication. Not to say we don't ask a question or two now and then. Everyone is different and has a 'kink' or two

 

[Keleios]

-If you're incapable of discussing these things beforehand, you aren't mature enough to be doing this with a woman. (talking about using force during sex)

-Even if a woman loves something involving force, you still need to discuss things verbally before you ever do anything involving force in a sexual situation.

Agree, very strongly with both of the above.

I really enjoy both rough sex and sex with an element of force to it, but see a clear distinction between the two. A distinction which would be extremely important to make clear before indulging in either. I don't do casual sex and I wouldn't have any kind of intimate relationship with someone unless there was a definite emotional connection felt on both sides. As I see and feel it, a certain amount of trust has to be present for that emotional connection to exist.
If there is no trust, there's no connection and definitely no sex. For rough/forced sex to occur there has to be a much larger degree of trust. For both partners.
Not only that you, yourself, trust someone to understand the boundaries or limits as you explain them but for both partners to trust that the other won't place them in a position where they're pushed beyond their comfort zone and into doing something that they may have concerns about beforehand or regret later.

To me:
Rough sex - Is letting yourself go, is fucking in the purest sense. It is for pleasure; unabashed, unashamed and animalistic. Heat, passion and intensity, a physical act driven by need, fueled by lust and desire within which both participants give pleasure in the taking of it. A fight for dominance on both sides.
The kind of sex that involves physically struggling to be the one top, to be the one giving and if found in the position of receiving, to take it fully and to encourage more. To indulge every physical sense, replacing thought with sensation and sound, teeth and nails. Left breathless and unable to walk properly afterwards. Sex for the physical act itself and alone.

Sex with force - Is a power play, to dominate or to be dominated. To take and be taken, struggle indeed but not at all equal. To be good enough, strong enough and skilled enough to stimulate physical response and reaction from someone apparently unwanting and unwilling. The excitement, thrill and challenge of one person attempting to hold back from what the other is trying their best to incite.

From my female point of view, wanting sex with force allows me to fight for something/against something with eventual capitulation to someone stronger than myself in the physical sense. If I lose in a physical struggle against my partner, they've earned their right to take what they want. It also allows me to be submissive, to indulge the parts of myself that wish to please to the highest degree. To have my needs or wants denied and replaced by my partner's.

Compared to rough sex, a higher level of physical discomfort would be acceptable for me in forced sex. Either in the level of physical strength displayed and put to use during sex itself or in the use of force and other means or methods for restraining purposes.
Explains a little but still there are things that would need to be made very clear; how much force, how much discomfort, when "stop" means stop for real and not just for play.
In the categories of both rough and forced sex, there are certain things that other people may enjoy or be OK with that I certainly wouldn't be. So if either of those types of sex are to occur with someone, there has to be a mutual understanding of what is and what isn't acceptable. Unless you're both prepared to talk honestly and openly about what you want and discuss options, understanding and agreement will never be reached.

If you say to someone... "I enjoy rough sex" or "Use force when you fuck me", then don't define or clarify what that means to each of you personally, both you and your partner are left in a potentially dangerous situation wherein any misunderstanding could lead not only to physical harm but to allegations and possible legal proceedings. Not to mention the damage it could do to the relationship and people within it.
L_egit's post not only illustrates this perfectly but serves as a reminder that lack of communication and understanding can have extremely serious consequences.

It would seem entirely unnatural to me not to talk about sex with a partner, not only for the specific subject of this thread but generally. It's not a case of bullet pointing details and sticking "insert penis here, thrust for five minutes" in italics to add emphasis or the reduction of an intensely physical act to nothing but dry and boring words.
It's about two people learning, sharing, understanding and improving their relationship with each other by experiencing all and everything they have to offer each other physically. Exploring possibilities and being adventurous whilst making sure that there's no room for misunderstanding or genuine harm to occur.

Communication in this regard serves not only as a tool for setting boundaries, limits and allowing for understanding but also offers the chance to gain a deeper level of insight into your partner and their way of thinking. Also, without honest and open communication, it would be easy to make assumptions or to possibly discover certain aspects of your partner's character in an unpleasant way.

I most definitely would not want to have a relationship with someone who enjoyed only rough or forced sex and would certainly want any partner of mine to understand that my enjoyment of certain types of sex does not mean that I'm emotionally damaged, a victim of past traumatic events, mentally unstable or a flaming great sadomasochist.

Though I enjoy rough sex and force, I certainly don't want those or variants of all the time. They serve a purpose and fulfill certain needs but the satisfaction gained from getting royally pounded or being forcefully taken is of an entirely different nature and degree to that gained from "making love" in the traditional sense. Which, I might add, will always be my absolute favourite and most preferred. Nothing compares with that amazing amount of physical pleasure coupled with and heightened by love, emotional intimacy, equality and the knowledge that there is no other person in the world you would rather be with.

 

[deedsforfun]

You're talking about what you want. The question isn't about you getting what you want from him. How should he go about getting what he wants from you?

The question is about him doing whatever kinky thing he wants to you. The question is, if a man has a kink that involves him using force, do you just want him to use your body language to try and tell if you want it too and just go ahead and try it? Or do you want your man to clear it with you first verbally?

How does he get it from you? Do you want him to just use try to read if you also want what he wants and use force and read your reactions and stop when he thinks you want him to? Or do you want him to talk to you about whatever kinks he wants from you before engaging you?

If he has a kink he wants to fulfill with you, how does he do it? Let's say, he wants rough face-fucking. How does he get it?

I wish I could edit my post because I don't mean "let's sit down and talk about it" like it's some serious boring conversation. I NEVER MEAN THAT.

I'm talking about saying in a really sexy voice to your lover exactly what you want to do in such a sexy way that he can't wait to do it with you, like, "I really want you to grab me by the hair when I blow you and show me how you want me to move my head up and down your cock and tell me what to do. I want you to thrust your hips and fuck my mouth and come down my throat." If he doesn't want to do it by the time you've finished talking about it, then you aren't talking about sex the right way![/QUOTE]

Sweetie, you nailed it. Talking about sex doesnt have to be boring. Being a nerd and asking your wife, can I throw you down, pin your wrists and penetrate you is yes BORING and a mood distaster.

I think its safe to say every women out there would love to be forcefully pushed to the bed, wrists pinned and just completely sexually devoured....all in a spontaneous motion.....but folks, this wont work if she is in a bad mood from dealing with kids all day etc.

Guys, learn to read your women. I know when my wife is just in no mood for that...but if I have a throbbin dick all day, I know how to get her there if she's had one of those days.

Id offer a non-sexual back rub first. A real good one, but DO NOT try anything..
Just to ease the tension. Maybe offer to do some house work to take the load off and give her a break to let her mind think about sex...after that back rub, that she was wondering why i didnt try anything during:smile:

Yes, Im clever. After maybe loading the washing machine for her, loading the dishwasher I may just give her a kiss.
Just one good I love you kiss....no tongue yet. Walk away.

Maybe 1/2-1hr after, another kiss even better, but no tongue, but long firm kiss and maybe a comment "I've been thinking about you all day sexy" Then walk away.

Then lets watch some TV, sit together, maybe play with her hair, neck....its the touching.

It wont be long, after all this, she'll be ready for some dick.
I read the mood after all this and if she hasnt gone wild yet, I still get it, but it will be a slow, steamy passionate kinda night where she feels loved and sexy.....this can be just as good as being completely dominated and devoured.
Those long slow deep thrusts, kissing her neck slowly. Slow kisses on the lips. You ladies know what Im talking about.
Its different than just being slammed and fucked so hard you cant get your breath. Its all good, just at the right times.
Its all about knowing your partner.

This goes back to the OP. I know when she wants to give a rough BJ. Believe me I know, its better immediately because shes into it.

I would never meet a new girl, grab her ears and try to fuck her throat in half.....at least right away. You work your way up to this reading her signals. when she wants more, she'll take more. Only tards cant read this.
Some of these guys really should meet a porn star so they can tell them, "NO, it really sucked when I puked on his cock, but it paid well"


OK, sorry ladies for intruding. I have read all this and enjoyed the opinions, and really intended on folling directions, but just thought I could offer some advice from a different perspective.
Been married 13yrs(married her at 18) with her for 15, so I have learned alot over the years fro her and the women before her.
Some guys after several years STILL dont get WHAT WOMEN WANT.

OK, this applies for Submissivegirl83 and also Petite.

Try talking with him more. You have needs too.They may be different. All women and men have different wants, needs interests. Ive been with women who loved to be choked(with hands) during rough sex. People are into different stuff.
Your man is 1 of 2 things.
He's either a real conservative,
or hes selfish.

The latter being the most common. I have many friends and collegues who get in their 30's or teens of marriage and all they care about is gettin off.
So they get real predictive and boring. Just missionary and 10minutes is it.
No foreplay. just "Hey, i want some pussy?"
Well, NEWS FLASH! If you dont keep things interesting she'll either go somewhere else, or things will get real bad for the both of you.

We actually enjoy talking about sex in general. Not, "Can I do this or that" talk. But casual discussion of likes and dislikes. It actually took a few years of this to get my wife to admit some of her fantasies. She was soooo embarrased and thought I would either dislike or say no or think badly of her.

For instance, she would never admit to masturbation. Until I caught her, but just said nothing and joined in. We talked later and she felt sooo much better. She has her toys etc.

She always wanted to watch me. She knew I did it, but didnt know when. She always had this hot fantasy of watching me stroke away. I knew this froma discussion of casual sex talk. :wink:
So one night, we were in the midst of a marathon of foreplay, when I grabbed the Astro, rolled over and she just came apart watching this.
But I didnt say "Hey watch this"...or "Hey watchis":tongue:

We had a night where we masturbated watching each other.
Got done and she just sighed, "OMG that was sooooo hot, I never knew that could be sooooo much fun":biggrin1:

So, Submissive, I say start striking up casual conversation about sex with him.
I know for me and her and everyone else I know, after about 2hrs of this, my dick is dripping and I cant wait to get her home. It drives both of us insane.
Casually is where you will get him to open up some and not be so shy etc.
Just bait him with a movie that will spark some conversation.
Make up something that will lead to talk.
If he's just conservative, you can get him to cooperate eventually. If he's selfish, sweetie, you may need to just handle matters.

And now, typing all this and my cocks dripping, so Im going to do some dishes for the wife(been one of those days).....then later, Im gonna fuck her in half heheheheheh:wink::069:

 

[HiddenLacey]

You're talking about what you want. The question isn't about you getting what you want from him. How should he go about getting what he wants from you?

The question is about him doing whatever kinky thing he wants to you. The question is, if a man has a kink that involves him using force, do you just want him to use your body language to try and tell if you want it too and just go ahead and try it? Or do you want your man to clear it with you first verbally?

How does he get it from you? Do you want him to just use try to read if you also want what he wants and use force and read your reactions and stop when he thinks you want him to? Or do you want him to talk to you about whatever kinks he wants from you before engaging you?

If he has a kink he wants to fulfill with you, how does he do it? Let's say, he wants rough face-fucking. How does he get it?

I wish I could edit my post because I don't mean "let's sit down and talk about it" like it's some serious boring conversation. I NEVER MEAN THAT.

I'm talking about saying in a really sexy voice to your lover exactly what you want to do in such a sexy way that he can't wait to do it with you, like, "I really want you to grab me by the hair when I blow you and show me how you want me to move my head up and down your cock and tell me what to do. I want you to thrust your hips and fuck my mouth and come down my throat." If he doesn't want to do it by the time you've finished talking about it, then you aren't talking about sex the right way![/QUOTE]

Sweetie, you nailed it. Talking about sex doesnt have to be boring. Being a nerd and asking your wife, can I throw you down, pin your wrists and penetrate you is yes BORING and a mood distaster.

I think its safe to say every women out there would love to be forcefully pushed to the bed, wrists pinned and just completely sexually devoured....all in a spontaneous motion.....but folks, this wont work if she is in a bad mood from dealing with kids all day etc.

Guys, learn to read your women. I know when my wife is just in no mood for that...but if I have a throbbin dick all day, I know how to get her there if she's had one of those days.

Id offer a non-sexual back rub first. A real good one, but DO NOT try anything..
Just to ease the tension. Maybe offer to do some house work to take the load off and give her a break to let her mind think about sex...after that back rub, that she was wondering why i didnt try anything during:smile:

Yes, Im clever. After maybe loading the washing machine for her, loading the dishwasher I may just give her a kiss.
Just one good I love you kiss....no tongue yet. Walk away.

Maybe 1/2-1hr after, another kiss even better, but no tongue, but long firm kiss and maybe a comment "I've been thinking about you all day sexy" Then walk away.

Then lets watch some TV, sit together, maybe play with her hair, neck....its the touching.

It wont be long, after all this, she'll be ready for some dick.
I read the mood after all this and if she hasnt gone wild yet, I still get it, but it will be a slow, steamy passionate kinda night where she feels loved and sexy.....this can be just as good as being completely dominated and devoured.
Those long slow deep thrusts, kissing her neck slowly. Slow kisses on the lips. You ladies know what Im talking about.
Its different than just being slammed and fucked so hard you cant get your breath. Its all good, just at the right times.
Its all about knowing your partner.

This goes back to the OP. I know when she wants to give a rough BJ. Believe me I know, its better immediately because shes into it.

I would never meet a new girl, grab her ears and try to fuck her throat in half.....at least right away. You work your way up to this reading her signals. when she wants more, she'll take more. Only tards cant read this.
Some of these guys really should meet a porn star so they can tell them, "NO, it really sucked when I puked on his cock, but it paid well"


OK, sorry ladies for intruding. I have read all this and enjoyed the opinions, and really intended on folling directions, but just thought I could offer some advice from a different perspective.
Been married 13yrs(married her at 18) with her for 15, so I have learned alot over the years fro her and the women before her.
Some guys after several years STILL dont get WHAT WOMEN WANT.

OK, this applies for Submissivegirl83 and also Petite.

Try talking with him more. You have needs too.They may be different. All women and men have different wants, needs interests. Ive been with women who loved to be choked(with hands) during rough sex. People are into different stuff.
Your man is 1 of 2 things.
He's either a real conservative,
or hes selfish.

The latter being the most common. I have many friends and collegues who get in their 30's or teens of marriage and all they care about is gettin off.
So they get real predictive and boring. Just missionary and 10minutes is it.
No foreplay. just "Hey, i want some pussy?"
Well, NEWS FLASH! If you dont keep things interesting she'll either go somewhere else, or things will get real bad for the both of you.

We actually enjoy talking about sex in general. Not, "Can I do this or that" talk. But casual discussion of likes and dislikes. It actually took a few years of this to get my wife to admit some of her fantasies. She was soooo embarrased and thought I would either dislike or say no or think badly of her.

For instance, she would never admit to masturbation. Until I caught her, but just said nothing and joined in. We talked later and she felt sooo much better. She has her toys etc.

She always wanted to watch me. She knew I did it, but didnt know when. She always had this hot fantasy of watching me stroke away. I knew this froma discussion of casual sex talk. :wink:
So one night, we were in the midst of a marathon of foreplay, when I grabbed the Astro, rolled over and she just came apart watching this.
But I didnt say "Hey watch this"...or "Hey watchis":tongue:

We had a night where we masturbated watching each other.
Got done and she just sighed, "OMG that was sooooo hot, I never knew that could be sooooo much fun":biggrin1:

So, Submissive, I say start striking up casual conversation about sex with him.
I know for me and her and everyone else I know, after about 2hrs of this, my dick is dripping and I cant wait to get her home. It drives both of us insane.
Casually is where you will get him to open up some and not be so shy etc.
Just bait him with a movie that will spark some conversation.
Make up something that will lead to talk.
If he's just conservative, you can get him to cooperate eventually. If he's selfish, sweetie, you may need to just handle matters.

And now, typing all this and my cocks dripping, so Im going to do some dishes for the wife(been one of those days).....then later, Im gonna fuck her in half heheheheheh:wink::069:

LOL ok everyone might not agree with me, BUT at this point I bow to the master. Because in MY opinion you know exactly what you are talking about Can you write a book and publish it? Just kidding. Thanks for sharing your opinion!:biggrin1: