Wondering who decides who you are attracted to?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by cherfan1, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. cherfan1

    cherfan1 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas
    I was reading through some of the pages of a thread in 'relationships, discrimination, and jealousy' and saw someone asking whether it is God who chooses who you like, or if it's you....I can tell you this, I am a firm believer in the Lord our God, I believe he is in control; but I also believe he is not the one who decides who you like and who you don't like, that's free will, a gift he has given all his children (everyone on earth).

    I don't know if there's anyone else quite like me, but I am gay and I never wanted to like guys, it just happened. I don't blame God, I blame Satan for putting these sins in my life, but I blame mostly myself for acting on these temptations by continuing to lust for these guys that I might see only once, or others who I might have known for years.

    If I had the choice, I'd wanna be straight in a heart beat, I've always wanted to stand out from everyone else, but I believe the gay lifestyle is a sin, it's not from the Lord, and although it's thought by many to be impossible, the Lord can change you if you put your trust in him, I know because I've seen it. I am going through a time where Satan is trying to convince me that being gay is ok and it's what makes me happy, but I know the truth, and I constantly give in to Satan anyway. I am ashamed for who I have become. And I know I must change one day and seek the guidance of not only my pastor, but my Lord. For everyone will face the judgement seat one day and will have to account for their sins (the sins Jesus gave his life for).

    Anyone else out there who believes the same? Please don't come on here and bash me or my beliefs, I'm just looking for someone who is in the same boat. God Bless

    About Forever | Why Does Forever Matter | Make It To Forever
     
  2. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    24,279
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    I believe that if there is a God, She made me just the way I am, Gay. No satan or sin is involved in the mix. I also believe there is NO way to change the fact that I am gay, nor would i want to. I believe that people can SURPRESS their true nature, but they're just kidding themselves. I may be judged someday for my actions in this life, but NOT for being gay. I feel sorry that you feel ashamed of yourself and hope that one day you can find some resolution.
     
  3. Mickactual

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,844
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    52
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey (US)
    Very well said. With all due respect to the OP and his/her beliefs: this is a perfect example of the horrific damage religious brainwash can do to a person.
    Stop beating Yourself up. If You're right about God and Satan, they'll spend the rest of eternity doing it for You anyway.
    BTW - I don't believe we choose our attractions. I always liken being gay to being rightie or leftie. It's just what You are. Attraction just happens. Fate - yes. Chemistry - yes. Divinity - unlikely. I find it hard to believe any angels (or fallen ones) have a hand in any of it.
    Just my 2¢.
     
    #3 Mickactual, Sep 28, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2009
  4. cherfan1

    cherfan1 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas
  5. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    24,279
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    Do you REALLY want to open that can of worms? I know, the ONLY way to salvation is through Jesus. What about the millions of Buddhists, Hindi, Jews or primitive people that have never heard of "The Bible"? So they are all going to hell? Now does that make any sense at all? And there is that pesky carbon-dating of fossils which imply that the book of Genesis is a fairy tale.
     
  6. Domisoldo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Messages:
    4,079
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest

    Trés cher CherFan,

    I am still unsure as to whether your thread expresses tongue-in-cheek humor or bona fide obscurantism, so I'll venture one neutral recommendation:

    If you are so intent on playing straight, please give up Cher, for God's sake! Even Satan will applaud you.

     
  7. DiscoBoy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2009
    Messages:
    2,706
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    The APA disagrees.

    There is little to no likelihood of you ever being able to change your sexual orientation, despite what others may tell you. You're gay and you have to learn to accept that. If your faith in god is an important part of who you are, then you should look into other Christian denominations that have learned to include and accept gays as a completely normal and natural part of human life. The Episcopal Church for example.
     
  8. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    I think you're getting poor interpretations of the Bible. The Bible does not condemn homosexuality but where and with whom it is practiced. Anybody who tells you different doesn't know the context in which the various parts of the Bible were written and how it has been translated.

    I am very glad you have such wonderful faith but I'm also very sorry that some ignorant people have taught you to hate your nature. I urge your to find a denomination that has a better understanding of the Bible and what it really says not just about homosexuality, but a great number of things. Being truly versed in the Bible requires a great deal of education in ancient history, Greek, Hebrew, and theology. Few clergy have such an education and so fly by the seat of their pants or simply follow erroneous dogma. I think it shocking and sad that someone like Joel Osteen has no formal theological training at all when he's such an effective minister.

    In any event, as you're a Christian, you can take great comfort in knowing that Jesus has the greatest love for you as someone who is persecuted unfairly and that Jesus will always love you gay or not. Try attending a church which welcomes gay members and talk to a minister who can explain why the Bible does not condemn homosexuality as it is so often claimed to. Once you learn the truth, it will set you free.
     
  9. Countryguy63

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,445
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Verified:
    Photo
    Dear cherfan,

    I am so sorry that you are going through these conflicting feelings. I was where you are for so long. I prayed every night and every morning, and secretly EVERY TIME someone else was praying around me, whether it was the dinner table or in Church, Sunday Morning, Sunday Evening, and Wednesday Evening, that God would take these feelings away from. I say all that to hopefully help you understand just how deeply religous, I was raised. I am not a non-believer, an atheist, or anything similar.

    It took 40 yrs of self hatred and battling to realize that it IS NOT A CHOICE! God helps you make choices. I didn't choose to be attracted to males. Earlier in my life, I too would have given anything to be straight.

    What I chose to do for years, was to hide and try to bury my feelings. What that caused was anguish, and seriously drove me to do things I wouldn't knowingly do.

    I'm still struggling with it. I don't have the answers that will help you. I just know the harder you fight it instead of accepting and trying to understand it, the worse you will feel about yourself. Self hatred is a terrible thing to live with and will take years to overcome.

    You ARE a good person. You have same sex feelings that are natural and won't go away. PLease, please talk to someone. Even if it's someone here. There are many caring folks who have been through this. I will be forever grateful to Lex.

    And to those who think you're going to help with "God, religion" church, etc. is BS", you absolutely are not.
     
  10. cherfan1

    cherfan1 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas
    CountryGuy,

    I Thank You for your support. I am realizing I probably should've never opened this thread. I didn't start it for people to come and contradict everything I believe in, I just wanted to know if someone else was out there that is dealing with or dealt with the same feelings I am going through.

    And just for the record, I don't hate myself. I am a VERY joyful person, gay or not. I thank the Lord for my joy and loving every day. This sexuality is just something, I've many times, wanted out of my life. I DO believe the Bible has all the answers I need. I am just struggling to get back into the groove of reading it daily, I stopped over the summer and haven't started back up yet.

    I've looked for ways to try and delete this thread, if anyone knows how lemme know, I'd greatly appreciate it. Like I said, I think everyone got the wrong idea of what I was trying to accomplish, and now this is just a bash fest.

    About Forever | Why Does Forever Matter | Make It To Forever
     
  11. D_Kissimmee Coldsore

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2007
    Messages:
    531
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you should repent. HARD!
     
  12. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    "Bash fest?" Trust me. If this were a bash fest, the folks here are capable of some phenomenal bashing. What we're trying to do is give you support and do so by helping you find a way to accept your sexuality. If you only want misery for company then this isn't a good place to find it. Many people here are willing to help you help yourself. LPSG is full of some wonderful and amazing people who are enormously giving of themselves. There are also some phenomenally smart people here too so give yourself, and us, a break and be open to what people say. You may disagree with what they say, but you owe it to yourself to at least consider the opinions of others.
     
  13. Domisoldo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Messages:
    4,079
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    The poor thing included you as a "basher", you bad bad Jason.

    He must have been high on self-pity.
    :rolleyes:
     
  14. crossy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,349
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Arizona
    Cherfan1 - Yes you are correct! God does not determine who you are attracted to.

    I feel , however, She is annoyed with your Cher Bono fetish.

    I am 100% straight BUT I have a large collection of Judy Garland recordings. and an irresistable compulsion to re-arrange the furniture in my son's pied a terre. Go figure.

    I believe Jason els has provided well thought out compassionate counsel to you.

    Gay people, the ones I interface with, for the most part have an awesome variety of talents. Also I believe they have a bigger dick on average then the straighties. This is very desirable.

    God loves you but as I said She doesn't decide who you are attracted to. This was determined when you popped out of your ma. I personally don't think gayosity is an environmental construct. This male 4 month old puss (my avatar) belongs to my No. 1 son. HE REFUSES TO PLAY with my 6 lady cats, he just fusses and acts so nelly.

    Lose Cher.
     
    #14 crossy, Sep 28, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2009
  15. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    I think he should take the advice of Cher herself in Jack La Lanne Commercial II 0:10-14, "You know the hardest part? Is getting started."

    She's right. The road to doing the impossible is steepest at the beginning. If Cher can do it then so can anyone else. This is the gospel according to Cher.
     
  16. Mickactual

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,844
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    52
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey (US)
    Hmmmm - this is looking more and more like a bash-Cher thread to me. Don't straight people realize how inherently miserable we gay people are? Please at least leave us the joy of this woman whom we all soooo idolize.

    No - we haven't gotten the wrong idea of what You want to accomplish. There are certain to be some like minds here who will relate to Your situation. But many will have the opposite view. This is a very opinionated forum. Opinions will be offered. It's to be expected. It all falls under the category of discussion...
     
  17. HazelGod

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    7,531
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Other Side of the Pillow
    You've been a member of this site for two years, and suddenly choose to come out from under the bridge with this thread? :rolleyes:
     
  18. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    FWIW, I was very serious about the Cher statement even if it was presented a bit tongue-in-cheek. Want to know why I remembered that line from her 22 year old commercial? It's because I used that line when I started working out at a gym and found it so grueling and painful that I HATED it. But I also knew that Cher was an honest person and that somehow, she was right. Whenever I doubted myself or tried to talk myself out of going to the gym for whatever half-assed reason I could think of, I recalled that line and figured, "if Cher can do it then so can I," and she was right. It got easier and I actually began to look forward to it.

    Since then I've remembered that line every time I start on something that seems impossible. It's served me well. I realize that may sound silly, but it's true.
     
  19. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    It's threads like this that hammer home just how much Madame Zora is missed around here.
     
  20. cherfan1

    cherfan1 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas
    Just to let ya'll know, I started liking Cher LONG before I knew of her political standings, her daughter Chastity, and her LARGE number of gay followers. That was in middle school, and I didn't even know who I was in middle school. I'm not completely gaga over Cher like I used to be. I used to wanna marry the woman, now I'm just listening to the music, the woman has had some GOOD music, what a survivor! I have kept the username since it was a general one I used that I could remember; so just 'cuz it says 'cherfan' doesn't mean I'm a die-hard, limp-wristed, drooling fan, I just picked it so I could remember it, that's all.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted