Cherfan,
I used to be an adult advisor in a youth group. During that time, I had a number of kids who were wrestling with the same thing you are. I don't mean the religious angst so much as the realization of their sexuality and their initial rejection of it.
I remember one boy who was rejecting it simply because in the small town we lived in, his upbringing imbued him with a strong image of the American dream of a home, a wife, and a career. He realized that he would never have that and it pained him greatly. All he could imagine for his future was cast in terms of a heterosexual life.
It made me realize how difficult it would be to gay in a straight world. Not only because of how others would might marginalize you, but how you might marginalize yourself because of your own conditioning at a young age by a heterosexual society.
The good news is that he eventually moved to a place where there was much more cultural diversity and he found society in which he could create a life for himself and thrive.
One thing I can tell you is that there are over 1000 species of creatures on this planet that we know of that exhibit homosexuality within their populations. This makes it hard for me to believe that God is not ultimately the author of homosexuality along with the rest of creation.
I am sorry that you regret your OP, however. You need to understand that you published it in a forum where there are many gay and straight members who feel that certainl interpretations of the Bible that cause people to feel marginalized or to be marginalized by others is not a healthy thing at all. You have to realize the possiblity that many are very angry at what appears to be complete rejection by the body of Christ.
I happen to think that if Jesus appeared on Earth on a Friday or Saturday night, he would make his first stop at either an AA meeting or a gay bar. And if the rest of Christianity found out about that, they would make the same complaints about him now that people in the Bible made back then. And in so doing, they would still not get the fact that Jesus comes for the little, the least, and lost and the marginalized among us. Everyone was welcome at Jesus' table during his ministry on Earth, and I have to believe it continues to be true and it will always be true.
So regardless of how you view the Bible, you have to picture yourself as always surrounded by the loving arms of the God known to us through Jesus, no matter what you do that you are proud of or not proud of. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you less. St. Paul says it better:
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things yet to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39
Christ's Peace,
JA
