Workplace Sexual Harassment

51arledge

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Have you ever been approached with sexual demands or expectations at your workplace?
How did you respond?
(Asked in THIS forum in hopes of getting responses from both gay and straight men)
How did it make you feel?
 

51arledge

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Have you ever been approached with sexual demands or expectations at your workplace?
How did you respond?
(Asked in THIS forum in hopes of getting responses from both gay and straight men)
How did it make you feel?

For my part, I work as a construction project manager building fancy, exspensive houses. Some years ago my office got a call from a client who had moved into their new house about 2 months prior. The owners were a gay couple (and my company was gay-owned and about 50% gay employees); their service request had to do with the steam shower in the Master Bath. The owner (Steve)w greeted me at the door was a gynecologist (yeah, weird I know...gay man gets a medical degree and spends his career looking at female genitalia). He led me upstairs to the Master Suite where the TV was playing gay porn. I didn't flinch or take the bait---I should add that although I knew these guys, I had not been the manager for their house, and they knew that their manager was out of town on vacation. When they called my office they had specifically asked that I come to assess the problem.

There was indeed a very minor problem with a gasket on the steam shower door, which I easily fixed in a few minutes.
Steve then asked if I wanted to see how they had finished off the basement gym with mirrored walls, rubber flooring and lots of equipment. There was also gay porn playing on the TV in the gym, but as soon as we were in the gym Steve was all over me. There was no asking if I wanted his attention; I had never given him any attention either. I had been out for 20 years and I was 15 years into my relationship with my husband. I had had lots of furtive sex and one night stands but all of that was consensual; this was not!

I left abruptly (I was 4 inches taller and much more muscular than Steve and he could not have stopped me). I went directly to my office and walked into my boss's private office. He could see how shaken I was (remember boss was gay and knew Steve) as I told him what had just happened. The boss immediately called the company lawyer (also gay)a dictated what he wanted a certified letter to say.

I felt violated even though I had nipped the situation in the bud. I left work early and went home to tell my husband the story---He was PISSED!

I never saw Steve again. A few weeks later, he and his husband had friends visiting and, after doing some crystal meth went down the street to another construction site after dark. Steve fell 3 storeys down to a concrete slab dying instantly. No one grieved for him, not even his husband.
 
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1079855

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I never been sexually harassed at work. (I'm starting to think that nobody wants me.) I have been accused of sexual harassment because I told a lady that I would see at work and talk to that I liked her, though she was pretty, and wanted to date her. Apparently a simple "no" wasn't enough for her. She had to make a false accusation against me. And it was only one time. I wasn't even beening persistent.
 

windibundu

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I used to work as a nurses assistant in a busy nursing home. The layout had a central counter/nurses station that had hallways branching off of it. One time I was standing there in my scrubs bent over doing documentation. It was a tight space and people needed to move out of the way for each other to let each other get by.
Anyway, a female coworker of mine grabbed my ass with both hands and pushed me out of the way. Then she waited until there was someone else around, stuck her finger in my face and said something like, "if you touch me again, I'll rip your fucking balls off". I never touched her, nor would I want to. She probably could have gotten me fired.
 
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1345864

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I've never been sexually harassed myself at work (one of the perks of being nothing special), but my sister was at her job, many years ago.

Her boss at her job waiting tables at a shitty barbecue joint wanted head from her for a promotion to a better title. When I found out, I went into the kitchen, into his office, yanked him up by the collar out of his chair and hoisted him up against the wall and told him if he ever touched her I'd beat him like a rented mule.

He quit bothering her, and she ended up getting a better job anyway two months later somewhere else. In hindsight, it was kinda stupid because I could've got arrested for assault, but I was a hot headed eighteen year old with a lot of anger issues.
 

Infernal

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Years ago I worked at a company where I would be tasked with reviewing the Blackberry server logs. This was when cell phone companies charged on a per-message basis for text messages. Someone was running their bill up by hundreds of dollars when they weren't supposed to be texting on their Blackberry anyway. I have a very uncommon last name and it jumped out at me when I was looking through the log files. A week prior there had been a staff meeting and we were all crammed into a small office. I was sitting next to my manager and someone across the table sent him a text asking why I was sitting so close. He replied back that I was touching his cock. I had also recently torn my eyelid and my eye was inflamed, so he said I had "aids eye". I was a contractor, so I knew I didn't have much power, but I wasn't going to just quit. I printed it out and walked a few blocks to the office where my agency was. I asked them what I should do about it. I didn't really take it as sexual harassment, but it made me deeply uncomfortable, and it was beyond inappropriate. If he had said I was rubbing his foot I would have ignored it as just two adults being juveniles. He took it someplace vulgar and that's what bothered me. My agency gave me the option of walking away from it and not holding it against me, but I went back to work with the promise that their lawyer would get in touch with someone at the company and have them deal with it. I don't know exactly what was said but the next day he sent out one final text message that said people were to only text his private number, and not the company one. From that point forward, I only spoke to him if I absolutely needed to, and I wouldn't give him the courtesy of looking him in the face when I did it. He was fired not quite a year later for something unrelated, but equally unprofessional.
 

long_uncut

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Years ago I worked part-time as a nursing assistant in a a couple of hospitals. I was a veteran of the Air Force medical corps so easily found such jobs while going through college. While working with a young female n.a. over an elderly patient's bed, she suddenly reached over and totally unzipped my smock leaving my bare hairy chest totally exposed in the poor patient's face. I was married with a child and she know that. I had never shown interest in her in any way. ....maybe she was miffed at me, I don't know. The nurses all liked me and maybe I was a little flirty but that was sort of the atmosphere around there. I was embarrassed and confused about it at the time but I didn't mention it to anyone. I didn't think she meant anything by it either but just went a little too far I guess. Anyway, in those days I doubt anyone would have taken seriously the idea of a male being sexually harassed by a female. Since then I have wondered how that would be viewed in the workplace nowadays.
 

marriedasian

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i've had a few women ask me out in my past which i turned down flat. this is one area of my life that i don't mess with. with today's over-zealous attitude of common folks, it's not worth my career. when i'm at work, i'm at work, period.
 

spaj8987

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I haven't but do think threads like this in sections for men are important. Since i know it does happen and men aren't as likely to talk about it. Thanks for bringing this up.
 

SamMann75

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I was a still a kid and worked at a store in the mall. 3 shifts during the day stocking the shelves, and managed 2 shifts of the over night crew stocking shelves and building displays.

So one night I'm parked near the back door, in the back seat giving oral to my girlfriend until i have to go in. I finish, tuck her under a blanket, give her a kiss and get out. The store's assistant manager is standing at the back door smoking and says your just going to leave her there. I was embarrassed and said we were just... she cut me off and said i know what you were doing and apparently really well. I felt my face flush more and i stepped inside.

3 days later i work my first day shift with the assistant manger when i get called to the office. I go in and say is there something you need? She smiled and said yes there is as she spread her knees, i could see she didn't have panties on under her skirt.

Now, i need to say, she was a short, fit, and sexy as hell, and i was instantly hard... but she was also married to a state police officer.

I struggled with it, but said i didn't think it was appropriate. She held up a file and said her doing my review was entirely appropriate. I felt embarrassed, i miss understood or something and went and sat next to her...a minute later i was laying on the floor pinned down by this woman who maybe weighed 90 pounds. Throbbing hard looking up at get sexy body...she ran her fingers through my hair, and i instantly thought if my first girlfriend (she took my virginity) who always did that and dominated me... then i caught her scent... and lifted my head and buried my tongue into her.

After several orgasms she told me she had never been eaten like that. She got back up in get chair trying to straighten herself out. I stood up smiling and reached down to my zipper. She took my hand away and stood up pressed against me and sexily said oh no, this isn't going to work that way, if you need a few minutes in the bathroom to take care if that punch out and go ahead, otherwise (slapping my ass) get back to work.

4 hours later she comes down an isle i just restocked and was straightening out, as she passed me she said i need you to sign your review form in the office as she gave my ass a little slap.

For the next 4 months she'd walk by, slap my ass and I'd meet her in the office to give her oral.