i knew i was gay since i was quite young and i just realised that now that i am 28 i never had an actual relationship with a guy. i am worried something is wrong with me. it's not that intentionally i never wanted to have a relationship, on the contrary i wanted a relationship since i was very young. i'm not the one night stand type of guy, even though i tried it when i was younger but it's not something that makes me feel ok. i was very much in love when i was 21 with a guy, who actually liked me and we did date and had my first gay sex. i thought we were in a relationship as a ''young and stupid guy i was'' but apparently, a few months later he dumped me for someone else, which broke my heart. For a couple of years i did not feel ready to meet someone else, even though i met some guys on grindr etc and did some one night stands, but this led to nothing.
3 years later i met another guy on facebook, he was really nice, we did actually had very much in common and i thought this is it. he will be my boyfriend. we did date for about 6 months but never said that we ''are in a relationship'' but we did everything people do in actual romantic relationships. i did fall in love with him at some point and i was very happy, i couldn't believe how perfect this guy for me was... until he also left me for someone else.. this really depressed me, in fact it's been 4 years since then and i still can not forget him.
I did try to date other people after him but most of them wanted one nightstands and this is when i lost all my hope and realised, that it's really hard to find someone to be in a relationship with me, and stopped trying. What worried me is that in all these years, i only met 2 guys i actually wanted to be in a relationship with and both of them left me, i did date a few others, where it was obvious we did not match and a few others that i did like but they didn't like me back. I am trying to think about myself and about what am i doing wrong, i can not think about anything too bad i am doing that would make someone leave me, in fact i try to be as good as i can to the guys i really like, i am very kind and caring and in general i do always what i think is right and respect them. I was thinking maybe they left me because i am ugly, or they find my dick too small, or i am too short, or in general i have a flaw that they didn't like. In reality i am an average, to good looking guy, with a normal sized dick and a normal height. I can not find what's wrong with me. The point is that i always wanted to be in a relationship with someone, have fun with him, travel with him, being together to good and bad, but i don't see this ever happening to me... i am sad that i am always single and i'm sad and tired of my love life. i don't find it sad someone being single, i find it sad always being single when you don't want to be single.
my sisters are younger than me and they are getting married and have children and i was not even able to have one actual romantic relationship with someone... i feel like a loser
3 years later i met another guy on facebook, he was really nice, we did actually had very much in common and i thought this is it. he will be my boyfriend. we did date for about 6 months but never said that we ''are in a relationship'' but we did everything people do in actual romantic relationships. i did fall in love with him at some point and i was very happy, i couldn't believe how perfect this guy for me was... until he also left me for someone else.. this really depressed me, in fact it's been 4 years since then and i still can not forget him.
I did try to date other people after him but most of them wanted one nightstands and this is when i lost all my hope and realised, that it's really hard to find someone to be in a relationship with me, and stopped trying. What worried me is that in all these years, i only met 2 guys i actually wanted to be in a relationship with and both of them left me, i did date a few others, where it was obvious we did not match and a few others that i did like but they didn't like me back. I am trying to think about myself and about what am i doing wrong, i can not think about anything too bad i am doing that would make someone leave me, in fact i try to be as good as i can to the guys i really like, i am very kind and caring and in general i do always what i think is right and respect them. I was thinking maybe they left me because i am ugly, or they find my dick too small, or i am too short, or in general i have a flaw that they didn't like. In reality i am an average, to good looking guy, with a normal sized dick and a normal height. I can not find what's wrong with me. The point is that i always wanted to be in a relationship with someone, have fun with him, travel with him, being together to good and bad, but i don't see this ever happening to me... i am sad that i am always single and i'm sad and tired of my love life. i don't find it sad someone being single, i find it sad always being single when you don't want to be single.
my sisters are younger than me and they are getting married and have children and i was not even able to have one actual romantic relationship with someone... i feel like a loser
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