Worried about wife

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by steve711, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. steve711

    steve711 New Member

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    Hello all
    This is my first post here and i hope i get some Qs answred coz i am going out of my mind.
    First off im of average/just below average size 5 1/2 -6" by 4 1/2 -5" wide and i am married to a girl (for 8 years) who had some big dick before.
    Shes only been with 3 men.Her first marrige for a year who was 9 1/2 and her second marrige for 3 months who was 11 1/2 and very thick.
    Then me.
    When first got together intametly she grinned when she saw my size.
    Cannot make her cum in any posision.
    When we were first going out she said she had massive orgasms with her other guys especialy the 11 1/2 one.
    Needless to say this is destroying me.
    I ask her about it she says im fine.
    I recently got a 7" thick dildo strap on wich i used on her and she came much much moren then she ever did with me.
    But it didnt make me feel any better matter fact it killed me inside.
    We've had many problems and arguments about this.
    That i want her to confess how much i dont satisfy her and how much the others did.
    Im constently finding myself thinking shes masterbating when i sleep.
    Thinking shes thinking about them, Scared that the girl i first married who was a sexual beast is now not carring about sex and is slowly getting out of it coz of me.
    Im losing my mind and dont know what to do.
    Plz guys am i the only one is this posision?
     
  2. slurper_la

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    When I've completed deciphering the poor grammar and bad spelling I'll try to offer some advice.
     
  3. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    I've read better stories written in streaks of shit on the toilet bowl.
     
  4. BigDallasDick8x6

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    How long did you date before you got married? If was a reasonable length of time and not a quickie wedding, she had plenty of time to discover that the sex wasn't clicking with her. If she went ahead with the marriage anyway, that would lead me to believe it isn't as unsatisfying for her as you fear. (Unless maybe if she "had" to get married for some reason, like she doesn't work and wants to be supported.)

    You refer to her as a "girl" so I assume she's young (or you're from the South) and for her to be on her third marriage already is not a good sign. Don't forget, she's not with the 9 incher or the 11.5 incher either so dick size apparently isn't everything to her. So even if you had 10 inches, this marriage might not last.

    Sorry I can't be more positive. I guess my point is that it's not you, it's her. I wouldn't let someone else "kill me inside" or make me "lose my mind" not matter how much I loved them. Easy for me to say, I know.

    You've used the strap-on with her which shows you're willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy her. The fact that this still causes arguments is again another indication that the problem is her not you.

    Good luck!
     
  5. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    let see here, you got a small one(actually it's not, she just needs big), and she has had big dick before you came along and she needs big dick to get off. I think you are screwed man. how long did you date before tying the knot???
     
  6. lerotic

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    The first thing you need to do is have an honest conversation with her about how you feel as you'll find a lot of people tell you that dick size isn't everything and it isn't but it is something.

    If she just gets off through sex with a bigger cock then that's just the way she's built and you need to work around this, penetrative orgasm isn't everything for everyone.

    That said personally i think the issue is more you than her and it sounds like you're suffering from penis envy. Listen to me when I seriously say "There will always be someone out there bigger, better, longer, faster, stronger you", just need to work out what you bring to the game and then be comfortable with that.

    So she orgasms with a dildo, use it in play, if you feel your smaller than other men then it'll help to try doggy so you get in deeper. Try exploring after you try talking to your wife, you could end up having so great sex on the way.
     
    #6 lerotic, Sep 23, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2008
  7. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    What concerns me the most is that she was married for incredibly short periods of time before getting involved with you. Your penis is plenty big to satisfy a woman, physically. I'm wondering how emotionally committed she is to your marriage.
     
  8. killerb

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    exactly how is it that you know how big her exes are?
    I've NEVER had that type of conversation with anyone...
    but aside from that, it sounds like you're making it a bigger issue than she is...

    she knew what you had before you got married & she married you anyway, correct?
     
  9. MarkLondon

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    Hmm, dunno why you're attracting so much negativity here. I'm no expert on women, but I have read of several similar situations on here, where the consensus was it's all in the guys's head (the one on his neck, lol).

    Firstly, your size is absolutely average. In other words it works for the majority of humanity. Your wife had two very short marriages, one to a massively hung guy, and the other to a statistical freak. And the length of the marriages were inversly proportional to the length of the guys' penises! And now she's stayed with you for eight years.

    She may not cum wildly from you fucking her, but she says you're fine. You want her to "confess" she's not satisfied by you. You have conviced yourself she's masturbating secretly (in the same bed? can a woman cum quietly and surrepticiously?) and even what she's masturbating about!

    I was on a medication that prevented me from cumming for a while. My (male) partners were perturbed and disappointed in spite of the fact I told them I was very happy, thank you. I may not have squirted but I still enjoyed what we did. And felt a lot better than having had no nookie at all. In fact I found myself in post-orgasmic satisfaction without having had the orgasm - so that was a result as far as I was concerned.

    If the magic is going out of your sex life, this is common after a few years in straight and gay partnerships, and not necessarily anything to do with your size. You ain't shrunk lately, have you? Got any kids? Kids will shift the focus of a marriage.

    They say communication is the key to a good relationship. But if you keep harping on about your "inadequacy" in spite of her saying it's ok, you will eventually piss her off. Because communication involves listening as well as speaking.

    Hey man, ultimately she's there with you. She's chosen you over those hung guys. That's the litmus test!

    I wish you luck and hope you can get that stupid idea out of your head. Because it could wreck your life if you don't, and possibly hers too. Also, you may be using this issue to mask the real problems in your relationship.
     
  10. huckjam

    huckjam New Member

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  11. steve711

    steve711 New Member

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    Just to clarify she left the 9" guy and the 11" guy dumped her (reason not quite known).
    She realy liked the 11" guy alot and told me that if he didnt let her go she would still be after him.
    O and by the way she said she had a 30 to 45 Min straight orgasm with the 11" guy.
    Thats what i would love to do.
    10 to 15 Mins with 9".
    and she mentioned after much argueing that "she didnt know guys came as small as size me" this is why i am obsessed with this.
    I understand that i have to let it go if im going to keep my mind or this marrige.
    Its just the flashback of her going ballistic with those big ones and seeing what she does with me that haunts me.
    And b/c of this i sometimes cannot stay hard with her.
    I've pretty much resorted to handjobs and blowjobs from her but that kills me also that i have to fall on that to complete.
    I realy am in a bad spot
     
  12. Columbus

    Columbus New Member

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    I call BS... What are the chances of a woman finding a man with a 9" cock, and then finding a man with a 11 1/2" cock both? She's most likely lying to you. The chances of finding cock over 10" is rare, let alone two.
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    You are saying she told you she had an up to 45 minute long orgasm?
    Hmm.

    I'm not sure about that at all - I'm not saying it is impossible but I'm dubious. Sure - I can cum over and over during a 45 minute session - but it isn't 45 minute long orgasm.

    Anyway - I want to know why you've discussed this in such detail. Has she brought it up to hurt you or have you nagged it out of her - because it isn't the kind of thing one responsible partner says in passing to the other.

    I'm guessing from stuff I have read here and from my own intereaction with guys in the past that this is almost 100% your problem, not hers. I can't tell you how to get past it but you are obsessing on penis size, theirs and your own. Read around this site - you'll read that, while women do indeed like a large cock, it is not anywhere near the most important factor when it comes to a relationship and it isn't even the most important thing for sex.
     
  14. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    My gut feelings are......somebody is telling some tall tails here.

    Could it be possible that she is picking up on the fact that you are obsessed with thinking about her being with guys with large penises? And maybe she has embellished some stories? Maybe she thinks you are into penis humiliation.

    I know my husband is very auditory and he likes to hear about my adventures which are purely fantasy.

    I highly doubt she would still be with you after 8 years if she didn't love you and want to be with you. Unless you are just loaded with money.....and even then you still wouldn't have anything to worry about.

    Quit worrying about it.
     
  15. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    1. With all due respect, when you do get around to responding, try to leave your ego in you pocket so that this guy can have a little relief.

    2. There are no easy answers to this, and hardest one to accept is that you are OKAY the way you are. Until that happens, you won't ever feel you are adequate and this fear in your head will consume other areas of your life. I know because I went into counseling and one of the problems I addressed was penis envy. If you can accept who you are and get a little relief from that, and not make sex the primary purpose of your relationships, then I think you'll start to live a happier life.

    And, all that being said, there is reasonable evidence that penis enlargement exercises can help. However, there usually aren't any quick fixes. It's a long-term investment. And warming up the penis before, during, and after the exercises is one of the main keys. I actually did gain some length and girth in time from pe.

    All that being said, I feel for you, dude, because I've been there. My situation was different than yours, but what it boils down to is self acceptance first, and living a life beyond sex for fulfillment.

    All the best to you.
     
  16. BigDallasDick8x6

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    Two things --

    1 -- Did you have sex before marriage? If so, then she had to know your size. So if she married you anyway, it couldn't have been that important.

    2 -- You've been together 8 years and NOW you're having trouble staying hard?? What has changed? When did you learn about her previous partners?
     
  17. FrancoRocco

    FrancoRocco New Member

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    I won't try to rationalize either what hse is telling you or how you should feel about it. The best thing to do to attack this head on (if there is a way) would be for her to do Kegel exercises to tighten up and you you to learn how to eat pussy like a champ.

    I wish you good luck buddy.
     
  18. fallon2

    fallon2 New Member

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    Dear Penthouse,
     
  19. lgej

    lgej New Member

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    I doubt you're telling the truth. I think you're looking for some sph here. I agree with the prior poster who said it's so terribly unlikely that your wife has had two men so huge. Almost impossible. I think you're unhappy with your dick size, your wife couldn't care less, and you're making up the rest of your story. You need a better ruse for all of us to believe you. You ARE the weakest link. Good bye!
     
  20. BobLeeSwagger

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    Agreed. The first two men she ever has sex with are 9+ and 11+ inches long? Some part of the story isn't true, but not sure which.
     
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