Worst films you've seen...

[2322]

Brokeback Mountain was a trite story. Two lovers discover each other, are kept apart because of social repression, they meet clandestinely once a year, and one dies in the end. This has been done before in various ways by Same Time Next Year, An Affair to Remember, Wuthering Heights, Camille, Latter Days (a gay film), and even Romeo and Juliet. It's entirely predictable -- well acted, directed, and photographed, but predictable nonetheless.

I understand how important Brokeback Mountain is for its social significance. I'm glad it was made, made well, and acclaimed for its good points. I do not think it deserved the Best Picture Oscar though I certainly don't think the preachy and obnoxious Crash did either.

Boogie Nights is a wonderful film blessed with a brilliant ensemble cast. I think it possesses irony, catharsis, believable character development, and I really like the diffident ending. One of the great musical cues in filmdom occurs when Colonel James' bosses enter Jack's living room to the tune of Driver's Seat. It's a perfect music cue because not only does the music fit the change of mood perfectly but it does so within context of the plot while staying true to the era. You see these guys and you just know they're mafia, not to be disrespected, and they're just slightly sinister all because of that music cue.

I know Boogie Nights has a lot of violence, sex, and drug use. I don't think it's presented gratuitously nor do I think it's out of place considering the subject of the film. Working sex and drugs into a film isn't nearly as difficult as violence. When violence is used, it's important to make it subsidiary to the plot. If it doesn't serve the overall plot then the film will fail. Some films, like Terminator, Terminator II, and RoboCop are jammed with violence yet remain visionary because violence was handled well and I think Boogie Nights succeeds given the comparative use of violence to contrast the apparent idyll of the lifestyle the main characters live.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

"Pearl Harbour" is one of the worst things i've ever seen.

"Pearl Harbor" was indeed awful.

But if anyone is interested in a better film about the Dec 7th 1941 attack then "Tora Tora Tora" with Toshiro Mifune is your flick. Better script, better story, better character development, better acting, better buildup of tension, and even better special effects considering it was made in the late 1960s.

 

[FuzzyKen]

Fuzzy Ken's Pics for the Worst of all time:

1. "Never Back Down" is about a bunch of high school kids who are constantly involved in fighting. They live in sunny Florida where they show up at school repeatedly battered and bruised where nobody asks questions, they threaten parents, and what they are doing is illegal. The story is older than the hills, you have seen it a million times under different titles. This movie is a type casting disaster with Michael Faris and Cameron xxxx. They don't get much worse. You also have 40 year olds with receding hairlines trying to pass as 17.

2. "Supernova" is a film that rivals "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Hey, I can laugh at Plan 9 and enjoy that one knowing the story of Ed Wood. "Supernova" was so bad that there are numerous people who would not take screen credit under their own name because they did not want their name associated with this film.

3. "The Remake of the War of the Worlds" Hey, Tom Cruise needed a job and creating a total atrocity from one of H.G. Welles greatest works was a great way to insult both. The book was great, the radio play was very good, the 1953 George Pal movie with Gene Barry and Ann Robinson was very good, and the remake was an employment ticket for special effects people and Tom Cruise and that was it. A HORRIBLE film.

4. "The Remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still" When Robert Wise made the original with Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal he made a great film that will forever be remembered. When the remake was done it will also forever be remembered as the film we all tried to forget.

5. "Red Planet Mars" This is a 1952 Science Fiction film that could have ruined Peter Graves career. This film is a total tribute to the Hollywood Blacklist and the witch hunts for "communist" film makers and people trying to not be blacklisted. This dog stars Graves as "Chris Cronyn" a radioastronimer who does not understand the reflection of radio raves and thinks he is talking to God on the Planet Mars only to find out that it is an "evil communist" bent on world domination. By the end of this film you have the Soviet Union being taken over and run as a Theocracy by the Russian Orthadox Church, you have suicide being portrayed as a great thing, and above all we can worship stupidity as long as it fingers the "communist menace".

3. Any of the Lord of the Rings Movies The books were great, I read them as a kid, but, the movies were mediocre at best in comparison to the written word.

4. Any Movie Starring Arnold Swarzenegger

5. "Top Gun" A theatrical insult to the Naval Fighter pilots and the training center at Miramar N.A.S. who work damn hard and another meal ticket for Tom Cruise. This time he involved Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Tom Skeritt and a few others.

6. "Any Elvis Presley Movie"

7. "Any Stephen King Movie"

8. "Eraserhead" Nothing can describle this one, even after you see it you still won't believe it. Where do they find money for this stuff?

9. "Cruising" A film that did all it could to mis-portray a certain part of gay culture at a time when gay rights were on the table. William Friedkin did what he could to shove gay men back in the closet with this one.

10. "Lost In Space" The remake of the television series in movie form with Matt LeBlanc was a black eye for movie makers.

I can think of many more, but these are pictures that would be on my "hit list" if anyone asked. . . . .

Some Good Films

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1962)
Forbidden Planet
My Favorite Year
The Dish
The High and the Mighty
The Queen
Grand Prix (1966)
MASH

There are a great number of these too. . . .

 

[Penis Aficionado]

Earlier today for obvious reasons I thought of the film *Ghost* and had to admit that it had the worst copout ending I'd ever seen. There was absolutely no question whatsoever that what we should have seen at the end of that film was Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg making out.

 

[Incocknito]

CLOVERFIELD

Wasted fuckin 50 minutes of my life. No plot, no explanation, NOTHING.

Compare it to a proper sci fi disaster flick like THE MIST and you see the difference. What pisses me off more is that some people actually LIKED Cloverfield

 

[invisibleman]

I think some here are being awfully hard on Boogie Nights and Brokeback Mountain.

No. I wasn't being hard on those movies. I just didn't like them. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN sucked plot-wise. And the ending was macabre as fuck. BOOGIE NIGHTS was cheesy.

Most of the other movies that have been mentioned here probably are terrible, because I didn't bother to see them and a few I've never heard of. But, yes, Titanic is grossly over-rated. I think it's BORING. Regarding other prize-winners, Chicago also sucks.

TITANIC was laughable. CHICAGO. I fell asleep on.

At the end of Unbreakable (2000), I stood up in the theater and said out loud, "That wasn't Unbreakable, it was unbearable."

M. Night Shyamalan films have that quality about them. THE SIXTH SENSE was well-written but he should've stopped there. And worked on different projects. His films were becoming pretty formulaic and predictable.

I would pretty much nominate every movie with: Kevin Costner (well, except maybe most parts of JFK that he wasn't in), Jean Claude van Damme, Bruce Willis, one or both Wilson brothers, Keanu Reeves, Steven Seagal, Adam Sandler, Pauly Shore, David Spade, and Rob Schneider. Oh, boy, then if I start listing more individual movies that sucked that none of these guys were in...

Kevin Costner in BULL DURHAM was amazing. THE WAR was really good. Jean Claude Van Damme was good in THE QUEST and in LIONHEART. Steven Seagal is funny. I have seen him do a love scene with a woman in bed with a smoker's jacket still on. And he always has that cockeyed stare and that Vogue dancer arm thing he does when he is about to cockpunch some dudes that gang up on him. :biggrin1: Bruce Willis was good in THE COLOR OF NIGHT, BLIND DATE, and THE LAST BOY SCOUT. Adam Sandler had me laughing in THE WATERBOY. ROB SCHNEIDER was really funny the DEUCE BIGELOW movies.

 

[invisibleman]

CLOVERFIELD

Wasted fuckin 50 minutes of my life. No plot, no explanation, NOTHING.

Compare it to a proper sci fi disaster flick like THE MIST and you see the difference. What pisses me off more is that some people actually LIKED Cloverfield

I liked CLOVERFIELD better than BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. :biggrin1:

 

[2322]

"Pearl Harbor" was indeed awful.

But if anyone is interested in a better film about the Dec 7th 1941 attack then "Tora Tora Tora" with Toshiro Mifune is your flick. Better script, better story, better character development, better acting, better buildup of tension, and even better special effects considering it was made in the late 1960s.

Fantastic film! I too walked out on Pearl Harbor though, in fairness, I had gone to see it just to see the Lord of the Rings trailer. I don't think I lasted 15 minutes. It was SO bad.

Tora! Tora! Tora! is immensely suspenseful all throughout the film. About the only war film to touch that subject as well is Midway.

 

[NovaBone]

Independence Day. The only movie I ever walked out of.

 

[2322]

Lord of the Rings is best regarded as, "scenes from the books." It is by no means complete though I do applaud Jackson & Co.'s tireless attention to detail and not fucking too much with the plot. When we were discussing the original film over at theonering.net, I wrote (of course) a long thread about why the mirror scene couldn't be fucked with and the vital importance of Galadriel revealing Nenya to Frodo. Jackson wrote me back saying he couldn't keep the scene exactly as it was in the book but would keep the dialogue and the revelation of Nenya because he hadn't realized it was that important. The revelation didn't make it into the initial theatrical release but did make it into the extended editions and for that I'm very happy. I believe all that business with Arwen, though in the appendices, was no more welcome than a goiter, but I understood the Hollywood need to give the film a heroine. On the whole, I think the films justified their making and did so staying as true to the story while able to pull in billion dollar audiences. They stayed as true to the story as possible and having interacted with so many production people online and a few in real life, I can attest that it was very much a labor of love.

If the planets align right, we should see both Hobbit films in the not too distant future and already Jackson has tossed the kiddie stuff for the true meat of the story which is, unvarnished, truly terrifying. Right now I'm pushing to have scenes from the destruction of the Necromancer's tower put in to tie to LOTR so we can see Sauron flee to Mordor from Mirkwood. With luck we'll get to see Galadriel go photoshop on Sauron using the very ring he forged ages ago.

 

[mitchymo]

I do not believe some of the suggestions being made here, seriously!

Brokeback Mountain. The only gay film i have ever heard of or seen that focuses on the loving relationship between two men rather than the sexual without injecting doses of steaminess along the way. The film is if not great certainly good and not worthy at all of being given a title of one of the worst films ever seen unless you've seen very very few.

Cloverfield. A film that starts of completely normal then wtf, something freaky has invaded the city without explanation, disorienting fight for survival with an open ending, and? it was a joy to watch, what is it with people needing a film to have to be self-explanatary and an end at the end, it is open for a sequel and if there is not going to be one it does'nt even matter.

Interview with a Vampire. Brilliant film, vampires with history. For once the vamps are not all depicted as being evil and the acting was good, the story adapted from Anne Rice. Come on, another that does'nt deserve this list.

Lord of the Rings. I'm not talking to you! I have never read the books, i have only read The Hobbit so perhaps if you are comparing films to book then you might enjoy the books but for those who prefer movies to reading then these films were AWESOME. I have the trilogy among my fave films. Great films, engaging, wealth of character, lengthy but never boring to watch. OMG, i cannot believe it. The Hobbit is going to be great too and i reckon that will be my opinion even if i can pick flaws having read the book.

Who said The Mist was good? Absolutely right, fantastic film, enjoyed that very much and it too is among my fave films

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Lord of the Rings. I'm not talking to you! I have never read the books

Read the books Mitchy. You will only be disappointed when you are finished and there is no more to read. I read them when I was fourteen or fifteen and I was so into them that I remember being almost sick when I was finished. I reread them before I saw each of the movies. One caveat, The Fellowship of the Ring starts out a little slow - the first hundred pages has a bit with Tom Bombadil that is alluded to in the extended version of the Return of the King. Otherwise it is omitted from the movies. Well, a lot is omitted, but Peter Jackson and his partner turned in a masterful abridgment. I can't wait for The Hobbit either. The last gossip I heard was that there may be three films. The first two directed by Guillermo del Toro and the last by Jackson.

 

[mitchymo]

Read the books Mitchy. You will only be disappointed when you are finished and there is no more to read. I read them when I was fourteen or fifteen and I was so into them that I remember being almost sick when I was finished. I reread them before I saw each of the movies. One caveat, The Fellowship of the Ring starts out a little slow - the first hundred pages has a bit with Tom Bombadil that is alluded to in the extended version of the Return of the King. Otherwise it is omitted from the movies. Well, a lot is omitted, but Peter Jackson and his partner turned in a masterful abridgment. I can't wait for The Hobbit either. The last gossip I heard was that there may be three films. The first two directed by Guillermo del Toro and the last by Jackson.

Three? Seriously? oh i'm salivating! :redface::biggrin1:

 

[2322]

Read the books Mitchy. You will only be disappointed when you are finished and there is no more to read. I read them when I was fourteen or fifteen and I was so into them that I remember being almost sick when I was finished. I reread them before I saw each of the movies. One caveat, The Fellowship of the Ring starts out a little slow - the first hundred pages has a bit with Tom Bombadil that is alluded to in the extended version of the Return of the King. Otherwise it is omitted from the movies. Well, a lot is omitted, but Peter Jackson and his partner turned in a masterful abridgment. I can't wait for The Hobbit either. The last gossip I heard was that there may be three films. The first two directed by Guillermo del Toro and the last by Jackson.

I was inconsolable when I finished the books. "And Alexander wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."

The Lord of the Rings is written in a completely different style from The Hobbit. It's important to remember these are not novels but classical romances. If you have any love for the films, read the books including The Silmarillion. The Sil starts off as almost impenetrable and then becomes easier. Don't skip the Ainulindalë as it's vital to understanding so much. The Lord of the Rings is partly great because it's set in a land with a deep history-- one that's referred to in shot, character, and events. Knowing this background will make Lord of the Rings a far richer experience. You'll have the whole thing about the rings explained, what the wizards are and where they came from, why Galadriel "passed the test", where Sauron came from, what happened to Gondor, who the rangers were, and everything else. You will understand and appreciate much much more. When I cry at the illumination of the Dwarrowdelf, it's because I have a soft spot for the dwarves, their story, and their tragedy. People look at me like I'm nuts except the people who know and say, "You're fond of the children of Aulë, aren't you?"

 

[StrictlyAvg]

Fuzzy Ken's Pics for the Worst of all time:

4. Any Movie Starring Arnold Swarzenegger Hmmm, still like Predator and Terminator

5. "Top Gun" A theatrical insult to the Naval Fighter pilots and the training center at Miramar N.A.S. who work damn hard and another meal ticket for Tom Cruise. This time he involved Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Tom Skeritt and a few others. Hokum but WOAT? nah

6. "Any Elvis Presley Movie" Uh-huh-huh

7. "Any Stephen King Movie" Generally they're shite but The Shining is a great movie! As is Shawshank Redemption

8. "Eraserhead" Nothing can describle this one, even after you see it you still won't believe it. Where do they find money for this stuff? Steaming glittering pile of horse shit!

Hudsucker Proxy - WTF??

Chicago was mentioned - hated it, walked out

Gangs of New York - needed a leak, never went back into the theatre after...

 

[invisibleman]

I do not believe some of the suggestions being made here, seriously!

Brokeback Mountain. The only gay film i have ever heard of or seen that focuses on the loving relationship between two men rather than the sexual without injecting doses of steaminess along the way. The film is if not great certainly good and not worthy at all of being given a title of one of the worst films ever seen unless you've seen very very few.

There are moral issues though. They had wives and children. Ennis' relationship with his wife and children seemed to suffer. And it seemed that even in the end, Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar lost.

I didn't see much true love. I saw more "grasping at emotional straws".

I didn't like the story. Maybe Annie Proulx could write a happier story that happens on BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Maybe Michael Bay could direct it.

 

[2322]

The Terminator and Terminator 2 are fantastic sci-fi films up there with the greatest films of the genre. Arnold fits the role perfectly, the story is great, and the supporting cast is wonderful. I also liked him in Total Recall.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

"I Know Who Killed Me" - Starring Lindsay Lohan.

OMG YES! i forgot about that one. my sister likes to rent stupid movies and this was one of her picks. it's absolutely stupid! i didn't even watch the whole thing, just bits and pieces, and i seriously don't even know how this movie got made. :thumbsdown:

 

[elegant20]

A.I

'nuff said.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

If you have any love for the films, read the books including The Silmarillion

I didn't have any love for the Silmarillion. It's like the Old Testament or God Emperor of Dune. Biblical. I did read it through to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Anyone read Children of Hurin? I'm afraid to.