Worst Sex You Have Ever Had

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by jdoe86, Jul 7, 2004.

  1. jdoe86

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    Ok.. Who was so bad that you still remember it till this day? Everyone has had bad sex.. how about REAL bad sex? The worst was about 20 years ago. This model (she was a "Genisis 'Girl Next Door' " and centerfold) was the worst! She just laid there at first, then started to do this thing with her pussy.. trying to clamp down on my penis. It was distracting to say the least. I tried to get her to change positions, but she would only do it on her back, legs out straight. Then there were the noises. It was kind of like a "oooooh, oooooh, oooooh" After seeing her a few times, I stopped returning her phone calls.
     
  2. Imported

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    Tender: ...
     
  3. txquis

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    Great topic! i have 2 equally bad "worst sex" experiences:
    The names have been changed to protect the guilty:

    THE NARRATOR-
    This attractive guy was quiet and
    reserved all evening, but in bed, he began to narrate the proceedings
    like he was Howard Cosell..."YOU ARE LICKING ME..YES SIR.....YOU'RE
    MOVING DOWN..OHYESSSSYESS......OH YOU
    ARE PUTTING IT IN...YOU ARE IN...YOU ARE INSIDE MEEEEEEEEEEE,
    followed by the final indignity: "FUCK MY MAN-PUSSY!"
    I've never forgotten that line. :unsure:

    and

    PUKE BOY-
    Sweet and sexy guy,
    hot and handsome....
    He had too much to drink...
    but we go back to his apt and
    he wants me to fuck him,
    and i'm going at it,
    and he says,
    "wait a minute, i dont feel so-
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Yes, that's right.
    Not pretty.

    "So how'd the date go?"
    "Great...I fucked him...he puked...
    gosh, i'm a STUD, eh?"
    :lol:

    bad experiences indeed.
    Next.
     
  4. KinkGuy

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    But did you get your nut? :rolleyes:
     
  5. Imported

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    kracken: My worst sexual experience was with a guy that is very cute. He loved to be rimmed. So I get there at 3 pm and we get down to it. At 3:05 pm his pants are off and I'm rimming him. At 3:07 he orgasms, pulls up his pants and tells me to get out. I never even got my shirt off! lol

    He's still number one in the worst sex ever.


    Kracken
     
  6. oldman9x7

    oldman9x7 New Member

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    BAD SEX????

    Gee. I don't know. I've been in this game for a looooooooong time and all I can say is - ALL of it has been good but some was better.

    Gramps
     
  7. madame_zora

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    Oh my god, Tender, my worst was my honeymoon too! My second husband and I had decided to wait until we were married to have sex, and I found out why he was so agreeable then! It was over in less than 60 seconds (I shit you not!) and he jumped up out of bed claiming to have a shrieking headache. He also had the smallest dick I had ever seen (about 4"). It did not improve over time despite therapy and the works, so we lived together in celibacy for five years until I could take it no more. Might do a lot to explain my current fascination with big cocks!
     
  8. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    The "dirty talker" was bad. I could've gone all night without him screaming shit like, "I can feel your thick, meaty ramrod invading my hungry hole; whitewash my bowels with your steamy jism!" That just doesn't do it for me. But he wasn't the worst.

    The worst, without question, was the blowjob from a seventeen year-old virgin with braces. What was I thinking? :eek:
     
  9. Franky

    Franky New Member

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    My worst was my first attempt to penetrate a female - a 35 year old with a child, we were in the back of my car. She was too small and I just could not get it in, and my frenulum was torn off and there was blood everywhere.
    F
     
  10. Imported

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    joe22xxx: It was the second time I ever had sex with a girl. She kept telling me how much she liked me, kissing me, and rubbing me all over. Then off came our clothes, and she saw my dick, and made that classic remark, "You're not putting THAT in me!" So instead of having sex, we made out for hours,which was really nice, but I didn't cum, and went home with blue balls. Frustrating and strange experience.
     
  11. B_analboyuk

    B_analboyuk New Member

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    My worst sex was in Toronto 2 months back, this incredibly tall black guy who assured me he was 10" x 7" before we hooked up, well needless to say his pants came down and there was this 4" weenie which was not getting any bigger. I let him stick it up me and he came in about 30 seconds then went to sleep.
    He still mails me and I am seriously thinking about put his address into my spam filter.
    Why lie about something that one will obviously get caught out about? The disappointment was underwhelming.

    :D
     
  12. donkey

    donkey New Member

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    The worsed sex I ever had was about 10 years ago . I picked up this silly woman in a pub one night and she was all keen for a good long ride until we got to my place .We started with some oral until she tried to mount me . This is where things went horribly wrong . She was tiny and I not!!
    She was pushing down with her all and well I , thought she was going to snap my shaft.
    The moral of this story is it pays to advertise size. :lol:
     
  13. mindseye

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    Ouch. I was gonna describe mine, in which the guy wanted me to fuck his "boy-gina". But yours takes the cake.
     
  14. Imported

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    drhook: Recently a girl had been quite literally begging and begging me to sleep with her. So, one night after a few cocktails, I gave in.

    I must say that the sounds coming from this girl were the biggest turnoff ever. She made these (presumed) noises of pleasure which closely resembled acts of murder to her family.

    "AAAAAAAGHHH"
    "OOOOOOOOOHHAA"
    "AAAH AAAH AAAH AAAH"
    "GGGGRRRGGGGLEEEE"

    I mean, really, if I hadn't known better, you'd think I was stabbing her with a knife and she was screaming bloody murder! (and, for the record, I'm not *huge* -- 7.5x5.75 on a good day)


    This turned me off so much that I decided I had to finish up as quickly as possible.
     
  15. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I had a girlfriend in college who used to brag about her sexual talents -- that she could deep-throat bananas and all that stuff. When we finally got to doing the deed, she pulled mine out and practically freaked on the spot. "No way!" she exclaimed. She ended up giving me a rough and uncomfortable handjob and probably the most toothy head I have ever, ever received.

    Oh, but it gets better...

    So, the one time I decide to get down and dirty with a guy -- fucking him -- he practically begged for it in his ass (ego stroke), and after struggling to get the condom on and everything, he was screaming and whining after getting just the head in. An inch farther, he was wincing in pain and insisted that I pull out. In all my life, I had never put on my clothes and got out of a bedroom so fast.

    (Just thought I'd include that incident so that, you know, I could be an equal opportunity recipient of some bad play.)
     
  16. bigbutnothuge

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    Bad sex? I get it so rarely, that I am probably not going to complain too much.

    However, the first time was pretty bad. Well good in some ways of course. It was very dark and for one thing I just thought she was really wet, but she was actually bleeding and did not tell me. I was really tense and literally took about 3 hours to cum with the last hour of her sucking me off. We had sex several hundred or perhaps a couple thousand times after that and it was pretty good some times. The next few times especially, but the first time freaked me out a little.
     
  17. pmpn8ez

    pmpn8ez New Member

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    Bad sex??? For a man in a hetero relashipship??? I dont think that exists. Even when its not the greatest...its still good. Women are such incredible creatures. If any women out there think they are bad at sex and want a second opinion, just call me at BR-549. Ill give you some positive re-inforcement. :p
     
  18. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    I think the one time I remember was in high school with this girl who had been rumored to bea good fuck. Well, after hearing about me, she hit on me like crazy, and god help me, I responded. under the bleachers during a football game. I went as easy as I knew how to for back then, but my entire length/girth proved to be too much for her, who'd been rumored to take really big cocks. What little i could snake in there she responded like a dead fish. And her oral skills just about made me flaccid.

    I remember an old joke that sums it up pretty good;

    After having sex;

    MAN-"Well, what'd you think of my performance?"

    WOMAN-" Well, I didn't think much of your organ."

    MAN-"Well, I didn't expect to playing in a auditorium!"
     
  19. madame_zora

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    Massive, I've always wondered what made sex bad for a man, that pretty well sums it up! I've heard guys say that some women don't give head, or aren't good at it (teeth, or just lousy). I would think that willingness and comfort would be the most important things, but hell, how would I know?

    I had a guy once who was just terrible at it. He grabbed by breasts like they were foriegn objects in a scientific study and jammed his teeth into my mouth almost making me bleed! Too robotic is bad, not to mention the fact that he came before penetration! I couldn't decide whether to be mad or relieved.
     
  20. KinkGuy

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    madame, I think you dodged a bullet with that one! :D
     
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