Worst things to say after sex

Purplesaurus

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Once I was drunk and I should have won a oscar for acting I said FUCK! First thing after I came. I knew I messed up and did not ever want anything to do with her! She had bought me a 12 pack of beer to get me drunk. I was just lusting after myself and liked how she kissed and sucked my ass for 30 minutes straight.

So I would say one of the worst things you could hear a person say is FUCK right after they cum.
 

Principessa

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YIKES!!! If he thought you were chubby at 5'9" and 138 lbs. he'd think I was positively obese! :eek: He was a whack job.
Don't get pregnant???!!! :rolleyes: Like you can say to your body "No, don't you go and do that!" Yeah, right...
The best part is he was so paranoid, he would wear 2 condoms even though I was on the pill. LMAO :biggrin1: Then he would complain they were too tight and he couldn't feel anything.:tongue:

]"Mama says it's okay for me to be gay as long as I don't do nothing."[/B]
That's funny, the Catholic church has the same stance . . . :tongue::biggrin1:

 

whatireallywant

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The best part is he was so paranoid, he would wear 2 condoms even though I was on the pill. LMAO :biggrin1: Then he would complain they were too tight and he couldn't feel anything.:tongue:

I was actually that paranoid before I got "fixed"... Well, ok I didn't insist on the guy wearing 2 condoms. But I insisted on him wearing one and I had to have some form of birth control for me, too.

I felt so much freer after being fixed! I was no longer a prisoner of my anatomy!!! I still insist the guy wear a condom though, to protect against STDs.
 

whatireallywant

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-- * sobbing * I shouldn't have wasted my virginity on you

OUCH!!!

:biggrin1: Well, as far as I know, I've only been with one virgin, and not only did he not say that to me, when I broke up with him (because he was a sexist jerk!), he kept trying to get me back! (I must've been doing something right! :wink:)
 
D

deleted15807

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I think I left my lights on. Let me go check.
 

joejack

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Go on about how much you miss your ex.
OR
Did you cum?
OR
Hand me that crossword puzzle I was working on.
 

D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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OK just remembered a real story. I lived with 2 girls my senior year in college and one of them had a boyfriend. He was a 5 minute man and probably hung like an elf but my roommate made all the appropriate noises for him. Anyway, I was downstairs and they were upstairs fucking when all of a sudden I hear him yell "Opah!". I mean he seriously yelled Opah. That's what they yell at greek restaurants when they light the cheese on fire. Who the fuck yells it after cumming? Never laughed harder in my life
 

jakeatolla

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Well, if you're a female from the east coast,

"get off me dad , you're crushing my smokes"


(no offense to actual Female members on the east coast:wink:)
 

str82fcuk

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Jeez some of you guys are so nice 'I left my lights on', 'put on your clothes'
really there are some really nasty ways to say things but those are just way too polite, if I was polite I would just rattle off an inventory along the lines of "dont forget you left your glasses next to the tv" in my best smilingly cold voice

and as for 48 seconds well count yourself lucky ... I had one guy cum within literally seven (or was it six) seconds of me touching his cock with my lips ... I must be doing something right wrong or something wrong right ... so I didnt know what to say ... he was very apologetic but I just shook my head and said "its OK" although I was veerryy disappointed ... it was with him that I asked "how old did you say you were again" altho that line works equally well with older guys (jeez how did I becum such a bitch lol)
 
M

Mr Ed in Mass

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You know........I usually kill my victims afterwards