Worst things to say after sex

mindfawk

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After eating your pussy, I really need to lick your asshole to get the taste of shit out of my mouth.

Uh oh, the condom ripped.

I think I'm pregnant, and the baby will have the same father as you.

Wow, I just thought you dad was a bad lay.

If it weren't for the size of your dick, you would have been the worst lay of my life.

Oh my God, I thought you were your sister.

How drunk was I to have hooked up with you?!

If you don't mind, could you kind of not tell anyone we did this?

You sister is going to kill me.

Have you always had that wart there?
 
M

Mr Ed in Mass

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Jaysus!
I can't believe nobody here,came up with my favorite;
"Are you still in"?
Equally good is,"Cash up front"! {obviously first!}
and, a personal fav, that I've used many times, when bored with the guy/girl, " I got mine, you get yours,but not with me "

Oh crap! It was suppose to be AFTERWARDS! not during! *cigarbabe* Don't mind C.B., she's not "feeling up", herself, this weekend!
*Thanks Mr. Ed. That was sweet of you to try and help make sense of my post!
 
M

Mr Ed in Mass

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"I'll have to call the Health Dept. tomorrow, and add you to the list of people to contact"
 

Tattooed Goddess

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I've had two guys, both one nighters, who were literally like the size of my index finger. I felt like saying "Boy, there for a while, i couldnt feel your finger anymore"

Sadly, every few years i still run into these guys around town, quite awkward to say the least, but it would be more awkward had i asked how it trimmed his fingernails so good where i couldnt feel them at all!
 

Notthe7

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'Hey quit fucking crying it takes like 4 weeks for the warts to develop....or something.'

'I said NOT in the asshole, you fucking asshole.'

'So glad I'm drunk.'

'GOTTA LOVE THOSE DATE RAPE DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

and a non-fictional few....

guy falls exhaustedly on my chest... 'You didn't cum huh?'
Almost depressed expression glued to my face.. 'nope... and -i- called -you- as a booty call... that fucking backfired.'

'Babe, I'm gonna finish Zelda now.' :: smack on the ass :: 'Thanks again!'