Would a straight guy ever...

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

...whatever...(insert vaguely gay sounding activity here.)

This post is intended for those straight guys who really seem to take exception to this line of questioning. I'd like to offer an explanation of why these questions keep coming back and then get your reaction.

For me, a gay man, there is nothing about a woman's body that is sexually attractive. Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me.

That same level of discomfort is pretty much impossible for a straight man to have when seeing another man's penis, because he has one himself. For a straight guy to despise the sight of another man's penis is to despise his own...it makes no sense and, if that's really how you feel, then something's wrong.

On another thread, I asked the question of how straight men feel about seeing another man's junk in porn. Most guys have responded that they want to see a good looking, well-hung guy. They identify with a big dick and it's an important part of a good flick. In one recent a response, a straight guy admitted that, when he was younger, he was disturbed by seeing the guy's junk, thinking it might mean he was gay if he admitted that he liked seeing it. Now that he's older and more secure in his sexuality, he can acknowledge that he likes seeing a great looking cock,...and he's completely straight! He has no interest in having sex with a man.

So basically, that's what we gay guys are trying to understand. Because psychologically healthy straight guys do not despise their own bodies and, indeed, have a measure of admiration for attractive male bodies, we're just trying to figure out where the straight/bi/gay boundaries are. (And indeed, in these pages, it is often asserted that there are no boundaries and it's all very fluid and elastic, which just adds to the confusion.) It is as much about understanding ourselves as it is about understanding you. We are obviously attracted to men's bodies and, if you also have some kind of attraction, I'd like to know what part of the attraction I have is in common with that of straight guys.

I shouldn't really presume to speak for all gay guys in this matter, so please understand that I'm mainly talking about myself and perhaps some others will expand on this if they feel I'm misrepresenting things.

Does any of this make sense? Does it help to make these kinds of queries less annoying?

 

[VerpaIngens]

To me there is a big difference in asking if a straight guy would rather have an attractive man in porn or what he thinks about the guys cock; and asking if a straight guy would like to get jizzed on, or would like to have his cock sucked by a man.
The first type of question looks like a totally sensible and normal one to me. Like I would ask a gay man how he feels watching a hetero sex scene in a movie, and if he would rather watch a sex scene with an attractive woman or an ugly one.

The second type of question doesn't make sense at all. Since the word "straight" in this context definitely means that a man would not like to get jizzed on or have his cock sucked. That's why the word was invented after all.

To me this has nothing to do with being secure about sexuality. The second type of question is only relevant to bi-curious and heteroflexible guys (a new word I recently learned). And in no way relevant to straight guys at all.

I don't know which kind of questions you have asked in the past, but to the people asking the second type of question I suggest they simply rephrase their question and leave out the word "straight".

And yes, you make sense to me. And the first type of question is not annoying at all. They are not interesting questions, but they don't bother me.
The second type of question gives me the impression that the person asking the question just doesn't accept or understand heterosexuality as what it is. It would be as if I would not be able to understand your viewpoint towards vaginas.
Am I bothered by this type of question? Yes, somewhat. But not because of anything to do with sexual preference or something like that. Only because I get annoyed by stupid people, doing the same dumb thing over and over again.

 

[NC_BBC]

...whatever...(insert vaguely gay sounding activity here.)

This post is intended for those straight guys who really seem to take exception to this line of questioning. I'd like to offer an explanation of why these questions keep coming back and then get your reaction.

For me, a gay man, there is nothing about a woman's body that is sexually attractive. Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me.

That same level of discomfort is pretty much impossible for a straight man to have when seeing another man's penis, because he has one himself. For a straight guy to despise the sight of another man's penis is to despise his own...it makes no sense and, if that's really how you feel, then something's wrong.

On another thread, I asked the question of how straight men feel about seeing another man's junk in porn. Most guys have responded that they want to see a good looking, well-hung guy. They identify with a big dick and it's an important part of a good flick. In one recent a response, a straight guy admitted that, when he was younger, he was disturbed by seeing the guy's junk, thinking it might mean he was gay if he admitted that he liked seeing it. Now that he's older and more secure in his sexuality, he can acknowledge that he likes seeing a great looking cock,...and he's completely straight! He has no interest in having sex with a man.

So basically, that's what we gay guys are trying to understand. Because psychologically healthy straight guys do not despise their own bodies and, indeed, have a measure of admiration for attractive male bodies, we're just trying to figure out where the straight/bi/gay boundaries are. (And indeed, in these pages, it is often asserted that there are no boundaries and it's all very fluid and elastic, which just adds to the confusion.) It is as much about understanding ourselves as it is about understanding you. We are obviously attracted to men's bodies and, if you also have some kind of attraction, I'd like to know what part of the attraction I have is in common with that of straight guys.

I shouldn't really presume to speak for all gay guys in this matter, so please understand that I'm mainly talking about myself and perhaps some others will expand on this if they feel I'm misrepresenting things.

Does any of this make sense? Does it help to make these kinds of queries less annoying?

Your logic is ridiculously flawed in that....just because I like something of mine, does not mean I like yours. Period.

I like washing my car....I have no desire to wash yours. I like the way I look when I fuck a girl...I don't want to watch you fuck ANYBODY. My cock is my cock...it's not the same as yours. Just because I like mine does not mean I'm crazy for not like every other cock in the world. That notion is completely unreasonable.

 

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

Your logic is ridiculously flawed in that....just because I like something of mine, does not mean I like yours. Period.

I like washing my car....I have no desire to wash yours. I like the way I look when I fuck a girl...I don't want to watch you fuck ANYBODY. My cock is my cock...it's not the same as yours. Just because I like mine does not mean I'm crazy for not like every other cock in the world. That notion is completely unreasonable.

Then you only watch lesbian porn?

As a gay man, I watch gay porn, with only male actors, because I have no interest in seeing a woman. To follow your line of reasoning, (and yours is clearly not the majority opinion of self-identified straight respondents on the other thread,) you should only be interested in watching lesbian porn, since straight porn includes other men's dicks and you don't want to see that, right? You only like your own dick and are appalled at the sight of other men's junk...isn't that what you're saying?

Mine is not the flawed reasoning here.

 

[NC_BBC]

Then you only watch lesbian porn?

As a gay man, I watch gay porn, with only male actors, because I have no interest in seeing a woman. To follow your line of reasoning, (and yours is clearly not the majority opinion of self-identified straight respondents on the other thread,) you should only be interested in watching lesbian porn, since straight porn includes other men's dicks and you don't want to see that, right? You only like your own dick and are appalled at the sight of other men's junk...isn't that what you're saying?

Mine is not the flawed reasoning here.

So to you...there's not difference between me watching straight porn just to see a woman getting off from intercourse....and me watching it to see a guys cock?

 

[NC_BBC]

Then you only watch lesbian porn?

As a gay man, I watch gay porn, with only male actors, because I have no interest in seeing a woman. To follow your line of reasoning, (and yours is clearly not the majority opinion of self-identified straight respondents on the other thread,) you should only be interested in watching lesbian porn, since straight porn includes other men's dicks and you don't want to see that, right? You only like your own dick and are appalled at the sight of other men's junk...isn't that what you're saying?

Mine is not the flawed reasoning here.

And for the record and future references...I'm a man who says what he means...don't put words in my mouth or try to interpret what I say...I say it as I mean it...no lines to read between.

I'm not "appalled" at the sight of other men's junk. I just have no desire to see it. Honestly...lately I've taken to watching strap on porn...FOR THIS REASON. I like watching women get stroked sometimes...

 

[mistabobdobalina]

Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me.

*palmface*

 

[lovinglife]

You dont have to be appalled to not be attracted to something. I dont like the male form, body/facial structure/hair, any of that. It isnt appealing to me. I am also not attracted to the attitudes and vocal features of men. They dont appall me, but they dont float my boat. I can look at a guys body, and be like "damn, I need to work to look like that". Not because I find him appealing, but because I want the female attention that his body gets.

The fact that you are DISTURBED by the vagina almost seems like a mental health issue.

 

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

And for the record and future references...I'm a man who says what he means...don't put words in my mouth or try to interpret what I say...I say it as I mean it...no lines to read between.

Then I'll ask that you show me the same courtesy. You misrepresented my initial post and then insulted my reasoning.

"Just because I like mine does not mean I'm crazy for not like every other cock in the world. That notion is completely unreasonable."

This is a complete misrepresentation of my remarks, but you seemed to feel free to offer your own interpretation, so I figured those were the rules of the road.

 

[NC_BBC]

And for the record and future references...I'm a man who says what he means...don't put words in my mouth or try to interpret what I say...I say it as I mean it...no lines to read between.

Then I'll ask that you show me the same courtesy. You misrepresented my initial post and then insulted my reasoning.

"Just because I like mine does not mean I'm crazy for not like every other cock in the world. That notion is completely unreasonable."

This is a complete misrepresentation of my remarks, but you seemed to feel free to offer your own interpretation, so I figured those were the rules of the road.

Ok to put it simply...the only time I care for a guy to be in the scene is when I want to see a girl get off from getting fucked. I could care less if the guy was white, black, hung, small...doesn't matter to me...cause I don't care to see the guy at all. He's just there to serve a purpose. But just because I like MY cock...doesn't mean I have to like his....

 

[twoton]

I guess it makes sense that you'd want to know. Nothing wrong with asking.

Personally, I can't explain why I'm not interested in men. I can admire or marvel at a man's physical appearance. But sexually speaking, there is no attraction. It's simply not there.

My wife and I just watched "Silver Linings Playbook." Bradley Cooper is, in my opinion, very good looking. I see him and think, 'Wow, I wish I had his looks.' But there is not a single molecule in my body that wants to have any sexual contact with him at all. Jennifer Lawrence, on the other hand, :biggrin1:.

 

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

The fact that you are DISTURBED by the vagina almost seems like a mental health issue.

I don't think I used the word "disturbed" to describe my reaction, but your point is taken.

My description of a vagina as resembling a wound is not original to me; I've read similar descriptions in any number of psychological treatises and other kinds of books on symbolism, so I'm not the only one who makes that connection. And the fact is, I've heard straight guys refer to "ugly" vaginas, too.

I may well need mental health care, but it's not because of this.

 

[pcghabsy]

Like others, I have no issues looking at other men's penises, at least on video/pictures, but I don't want to have anything to do with them physically. If I did, that would make me slightly bisexual and no longer straight.

Your question is interesting however. I am sure there are perfectly straight men who would not even want to see a picture of a penis. Yes, they do see their own, so why not? But you could use that logic in saying almost every straight man likes playing with their own cocks. Why not with others? So there is definitely a distinction between his own penis and those of others. There's also a distinction between pictures/video and real physical. So there are many nuances to the topic.

In any case, I don't have any answers, but with most preferences sexual, anything goes.

 

[Ed69]

...whatever...(insert vaguely gay sounding activity here.)

This post is intended for those straight guys who really seem to take exception to this line of questioning. I'd like to offer an explanation of why these questions keep coming back and then get your reaction.

For me, a gay man, there is nothing about a woman's body that is sexually attractive. Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me.

That same level of discomfort is pretty much impossible for a straight man to have when seeing another man's penis, because he has one himself. For a straight guy to despise the sight of another man's penis is to despise his own...it makes no sense and, if that's really how you feel, then something's wrong.

On another thread, I asked the question of how straight men feel about seeing another man's junk in porn. Most guys have responded that they want to see a good looking, well-hung guy. They identify with a big dick and it's an important part of a good flick. In one recent a response, a straight guy admitted that, when he was younger, he was disturbed by seeing the guy's junk, thinking it might mean he was gay if he admitted that he liked seeing it. Now that he's older and more secure in his sexuality, he can acknowledge that he likes seeing a great looking cock,...and he's completely straight! He has no interest in having sex with a man.

So basically, that's what we gay guys are trying to understand. Because psychologically healthy straight guys do not despise their own bodies and, indeed, have a measure of admiration for attractive male bodies, we're just trying to figure out where the straight/bi/gay boundaries are. (And indeed, in these pages, it is often asserted that there are no boundaries and it's all very fluid and elastic, which just adds to the confusion.) It is as much about understanding ourselves as it is about understanding you. We are obviously attracted to men's bodies and, if you also have some kind of attraction, I'd like to know what part of the attraction I have is in common with that of straight guys.

I shouldn't really presume to speak for all gay guys in this matter, so please understand that I'm mainly talking about myself and perhaps some others will expand on this if they feel I'm misrepresenting things.

Does any of this make sense? Does it help to make these kinds of queries less annoying?

I have no desire to help you understand,I will never do anything sexual with another male.We don't have to understand one another just live and let live.

And stop asking!

 

[554279]

...whatever...(insert vaguely gay sounding activity here.)...

Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me......

I shouldn't really presume to speak for all gay guys in this matter, so please understand that I'm mainly talking about myself and perhaps some others will expand on this if they feel I'm misrepresenting things.

Does any of this make sense? Does it help to make these kinds of queries less annoying?

First I understand what I think your point is, however I think the execution of it may have come off badly.

For me personally it gets fairly asinine after the 999th post of and reply to "no it's not OK if you try to stick things up may ass" , "no I don't want to stick my thing in your ass" or "no straight guys don't like french kissing someone with a mustache and an erection".

The vagina analogy does not score any cool points with straight guys. We love, worship and try to spend as much time as humanly possible in vaginas.

That particular analogy of a women's vagina (the very thing we all pretty much come out of regardless of sexual preference), is pretty demeaning. In all honesty I would say a guys hairy asshole equally effects straight guys the same way in which you described. So in summary people (all people) come from vagina's, but only one substance I know of comes from an anus.

The best way to find out limits is to go back and read all of the previous posts and then in a non-condescending, non-confrontational, not trying to convert us kind of way, and in an adult manner ask a reasonable question. The follow on to that should be after you get the answer regardless of whether you like it or dislike it, you shouldn't criticize that persons answer.

 

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

I have no desire to help you understand,I will never do anything sexual with another male.We don't have to understand one another just live and let live.

And stop asking!

Then what, pray tell, is the point of this entire website? Why is there an "Ask a Straight Man" page if you have no desire to help others understand how straight men think? What are we supposed to ask you?

 

[D_Ben_A_Fleck]

First I understand what I think your point is, however I think the execution of it may have come off badly.


The vagina analogy does not score any cool points with straight guys. We love, worship and try to spend as much time as humanly possible in vaginas.

Not trying to score any 'cool points' with anyone. I'm simply laboring to make the point that a woman's body is something "wholly other" to me -- it is mysterious and a little unnerving and there is nothing sexually attractive about it to me. Similarly, I would expect that straight men would have the same feeling about seeing other guys...except, of course, that their bodies are the same, so the analogy doesn't really hold. Porn, made primarily for the consumption of straight men, seems to make a point of using good-looking, well hung guys. Gay men only watch what we're attracted to: other men. By extension, then, I would expect straight men to watch only what they're attracted to: women, so I would expect lesbian porn to be the main attraction, but it isn't. I'm just trying to get a handle on this.

That particular analogy of a women's vagina (the very thing we all pretty much come out of regardless of sexual preference), is pretty demeaning. In all honesty I would say a guys hairy asshole equally effects straight guys the same way in which you described. So in summary people (all people) come from vagina's, but only one substance I know of comes from an anus.

If my analogy about the vagina offended, please understand that that was not my intention and I apologize. I've read the analogy in several different places and it resonated with me. I was just trying to be honest, but I didn't intend anything insulting. I understand intellectually, of course, that it isn't a wound, but at some sub-conscious level, that's how I process it. I don't know how to make that point without saying it.

And I suspect this will come as a surprise to you and to many of the straight guys here, but not all gay guys engage in anal sex, for precisely the reasons you describe. At 47, I've never topped or bottomed, I have no interest in it, and there are plenty of us gays who feel the same way. It's a common misconception that all gays do anal. We don't.

The best way to find out limits is to go back and read all of the previous posts and then in a non-condescending, non-confrontational, not trying to convert us kind of way, and in an adult manner ask a reasonable question. The follow on to that should be after you get the answer regardless of whether you like it or dislike it, you shouldn't criticize that persons answer.

I thought I had done this. If there was something in my OP that struck you as confrontational, please point it out to me so that I can learn from my mistake. I thought I was being very honest, not at all condescending, not at all confrontational. Where does it seem that I'm trying to convert anyone? (As if that were even possible.)

A number of the responses are from guys who seem to have understood both the spirit and the intent of my post, so if you thought I was being confrontational, you should be able to see that others didn't agree with your assessment. I also don't believe I've criticized anyone who has answered me. Again, please point that out so I can know what you're talking about.

 

[NC_BBC]

Then what, pray tell, is the point of this entire website? Why is there an "Ask a Straight Man" page if you have no desire to help others understand how straight men think? What are we supposed to ask you?

Anything besides constantly asking STRAIGHT men if, when, how, where, and why they would do something gay. It completely negates the purpose of the ASK A STRAIGHT MAN thread. If you wanna ask a bi man all these questions, then cool...but STRAIGHT men aren't doing ANYTHING gay...hence the word STRAIGHT...so please stop asking.

http://www.lpsg.com/347671-getting-jizzed-on.html
http://www.lpsg.com/329581-under-what-circumstances-will-a.html
http://www.lpsg.com/336371-if-your-friend-asked-to.html
http://www.lpsg.com/341840-do-guys-ever-hookup-and.html
http://www.lpsg.com/330516-straight-guys-would-you-let.html
http://www.lpsg.com/333887-st8-men-from-boston-that.html
http://www.lpsg.com/317396-how-many-straight-guys-are.html

There's no excuse for that shit... I feel like there's this effort to somehow sway straight men into being gay...or to convince them somehow that they've been gay all along. STOP IT!

 

[NC_BBC]

Yes, lesbian porn is theoretically better, but like I said, when i wanna see a woman get off from actual intercourse...the guy is a necessary evil. Not because I want to see some guys cock...no....but because I want to see a women get off through the same type of sex I intend to have. Some guys (not me) say they prefer a good looking hung guy so they can "project" themselves into that scene.... But that does not mean that we're all secretly attracted to men.

 

[deleted103775]

For me, a gay man, there is nothing about a woman's body that is sexually attractive. Frankly, a vagina is vaguely frightening, looking something like a gaping injury, as if there was something there and it's been ripped out and left a gash. If I never see one again, it will be OK with me.

For a straight guy to despise the sight of another man's penis is to despise his own...it makes no sense and, if that's really how you feel, then something's wrong.

i'm not sure if i'm even welcome to comment here, but i feel like i have to respond to this, because it's somewhat inappropriate and a bit insulting to both men and women, gay or straight.

even though the female anatomy does not appeal to me personally, making debasing statements like this in this context is really no different than someone making insulting and antagonistic statements about gay sex.

i enjoy watching straight porn, and i appreciate the beauty of sex in all forms, but my appreciation does not translate into anything beyond that, and to imply that "something's wrong" if it doesn't is simply incorrect.