Would letting a guy suck my dick make me gay?

[nubian]

Nope.

 

[D_Dennis Anyone]

Well I'm just saying that he might have to fear that he would be gay by the idea of letting me suck him off...

The reason why I asked him is becaus I trust only him (at this moment since I have known him for several years) with this topic... And cause he does not know if he would like oral at all...

So I'm just trying to come up with an idea that would answer both our questions
1) If I like giving oral since I've never done it (I'm not sure I would but only one way to find out right?
2) if he likes the idea of somebody performing oral on him (again like me he isn't sure but there is only one way to find out)

 

[D_Dennis Anyone]

Well I'm just saying that he might have to fear that he would be gay by the idea of letting me suck him off...

The reason why I asked him is becaus I trust only him (at this moment since I have known him for several years) with this topic... And cause he does not know if he would like oral at all...

So I'm just trying to come up with an idea that would answer both our questions
1) If I like giving oral since I've never done it (I'm not sure I would but only one way to find out right?
2) if he likes the idea of somebody performing oral on him (again like me he isn't sure but there is only one way to find out)

 

[flame boy]

Well from my personal point of view when you are engaging in any sexual act with a member of the same sex -- what you are doing is engaging in gay sexual activity (dont you love how clinical this sounds?!).

However I do not think that a person is instantly a homosexual because he had his dicked sucked once. On the other side of this however you can't honestly say you are totally straight if you entertain the idea of having any form of sex with another dude.

The basic rule is this (IMO) -- If you have a cock in your mouth/ass/hand/whatever or a dude has your cock in his mouth/ass/hand/whatever then at precice moment in time, at that very second -- yeah, what you're doing is kinda gay!

 

[MisterMark]

The basic rule is this (IMO) -- If you have a cock in your mouth/ass/hand/whatever or a dude has your cock in his mouth/ass/hand/whatever then at precice moment in time, at that very second -- yeah, what you're doing is kinda gay!

Hmm. Okay, this is just a fun debate.

The activity may be kinda gay, but the individuals involved aren't necessarily kinda gay.

To illustrate, if a straight guy is blindfolded and gets a blowjob from a guy - not knowing that it's a guy - would that make him kinda gay? I would say no, and that's why orientation has to be defined by sexual desire, not by activity alone.

I bet I could enjoy having a woman suck my dick (if she was good at it), but I seriously doubt I would then consider myself to be any more heterosexual than the 1% hetero label that I give myself currently.

 

[aninnymouse]

I wouldn't say it made one gay. It would definitely mean one was experimenting at the very least, and possibly bi-curious.

I'm just curious, why are you so gung ho about going down on your friend? If he's never expressed a desire and doesn't seem to be bi-curious, why go there? To be perfectly frank, this is the type of thing that can wreck a friendship. If you care about the friendship, I'd say, don't go there and leave well enough alone.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

MisterMark: "No. Sexual orientation is determined by sexual and emotional attraction, not by individual sex acts."

-----------------


No, I'm sorry MisterMark. If you suck 1 or 50 individual cocks, you are still engaging in homo-sex.

"Gay" is really an adjective describing sexual acts. In other words, there is gay sex, not gay people. There are only human beings who act on heterosexual and homosexual impulses.


Therefore, if I suck a cock, then, YES, I am performing a gay act (as a human being, not as a "gay man").

The ancient Greeks had gay sex. But they were men. It described the ACT not the PERSON. They were never a newly realized political class: the modern gay male.

I don't really see where the disagreement is here. Both of you are saying that doing sexual things with a member of the same sex does not equate to 'being gay'. Also - I'm not entirely sure I like the phrasing "The ancient Greeks had gay sex. But they were men." - I think you are trying to say that the Greeks did not distinguish between 'gay men' and 'straight men', but it could kinda look like you are saying that exclusively gay men are not 'men' - which is, of course, bullshit.

I think what you are missing about Greek society is that men who were emotionally gay (could only fall in love with, have strong attachments to, be turned on by other men) were also married and had to maintain a heterosexual, procreative relationship with a woman as well. Also, the overt homosexual sex in Greek society was not between men - it was between a man and a boy. There were societally defined top and bottom roles and it was taboo to stray outside of them. If you are thinking of two hairy 40-something Greek 'bears' going at it then you have the wrong image. The boy was taken as an extra-marital lover because he could be used for sexual gratification without risk of pregnancy. I'm not saying that gay men did not have sex then in the way they do now, I'm sure they did, but it was not acceptable.

But I digress.

Do you think all those women in porn who eat pussy as part of their job are lesbian, or a bit lesbian, or bi. Or are they just eating pussy in a scene because they get paid more for doing that?

What about a gay man who has sex with a woman because they decide they want to have a child together? Is he less gay?

I bet I could enjoy having a woman suck my dick (if she was good at it), but I seriously doubt I would then consider myself to be any more heterosexual than the 1% hetero label that I give myself currently.

Exactly - or if you were blindfolded and had a person (gender unknown) sit their ass down on your cock - would a gay man with a woman sitting on his cock suddenly become bi? Would a straight man with a dude sitting on his cock suddenly become bi?

Of course not.

I have 90/10 in my profile - because I have had female sex partners and, although I haven't done it in a while, I still find the concept of being with a woman a turn on. However - I'm not sure I should have that 10% because I've never had an emotional relationship with a woman and I don't think I could.

 

[Xcuze]

Its very easy for a str8 guy to close his eyes & imagine he's being blown by a woman. Just like its easy for them to stick it in a vaccum tube & get pleasure.

Physical acts do not determine your sexuality alone. Your thought process during them does though. Sexuality is a mindset primarily.

 

[MisterMark]

I don't really see where the disagreement is here.

Oh, good! I thought that maybe I was missing something! I didn't see a disagreement either, but since he seemed to want to engage in a debate, I thought I'd indulge him. :smile:

 

[Roscoz]

i think we should put all labels aside. society has so much control over what's right and what's wrong. what's gay and what's straight. were forced to choose because society tells us so. we label ourselves because society tells us so. but just take a look at how fucked up society is and can be.

in my profile it says im 80 % gay and 20% straight. I made that choice because its how I felt at the time. your friend should do what he wants to at that time.

sometimes in a friendship you can completely let go and be yourself with out any inhibitions or worries. but at the same time if your friend says no you have to respect that. it should only bring you guys closer for being so open and honest but could also go the other way

have fun guys ...

Rosco

 

[MisterMark]

Exactly - or if you were blindfolded and had a person (gender unknown) sit their ass down on your cock - would a gay man with a woman sitting on his cock suddenly become bi? Would a straight man with a dude sitting on his cock suddenly become bi?

Of course not.

Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? There seems to be a bias going on with the comparisons that some are making. There's an attitude that if you're a straight guy and you have just one sexual encounter with a guy, then OH MY GOD - you're gay! But if a gay guy has one sexual encounter with a woman, how many of those same people would suddenly conclude that the gay guy is now straight? Probably none of them.

It reminds me of the "one drop of blood" theory as it applied to determining race in America years ago. If you were white but had just one black ancestor, you were considered black.

My thesis: Heterosexuality in men is seen as a pristine condition, and if you have just one homosexual encounter, then you're tainted, and suddenly, you're considered a "homo". Even gay men seem to buy into this.

Agree? Or am I reading too much into it?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? There seems to be a bias going on with the comparisons that some are making. There's an attitude that if you're a straight guy and you have just one sexual encounter with a guy, then OH MY GOD - you're gay! But if a gay guy has one sexual encounter with a woman, how many of those same people would suddenly conclude that the gay guy is now straight? Probably none of them.

It reminds me of the "one drop of blood" theory as it applied to determining race in America years ago. If you were white but had just one black ancestor, you were considered black.

My thesis: Heterosexuality in men is seen as a pristine condition, and if you have just one homosexual encounter, then you're tainted, and suddenly, you're considered a "homo". Even gay men seem to buy into this.

Agree? Or am I reading too much into it?

I think some people (more notably men?) do feel that way. I do notice with these threads that the question is never 'does it make me bi?' but always 'does it make me gay?' - as if that one homosexual encounter can leech away all a man's desire for women. I mean I really enjoyed eating pussy, but it didn't lessen my desire for a nice, hard cock in my cunt one iota. :smile:

And that, apparently, is OK. Women are allowed, even encouraged, to experiment with same sex encounters. Men are not. No fair.

 

[MisterMark]

And that, apparently, is OK. Women are allowed, even encouraged, to experiment with same sex encounters. Men are not. No fair.

I probably sound like one of my sociology instructors when I say that I think it all comes down to heterosexual male privilege and dominance in society, and a fear and loathing of anything that upsets that status.

 

[basque9]

Its very easy for a str8 guy to close his eyes & imagine he's being blown by a woman. Just like its easy for them to stick it in a vaccum tube & get pleasure.

Physical acts do not determine your sexuality alone. Your thought process during them does though. Sexuality is a mindset primarily.

I believe you have got it! I believe it is possible for a straight man to embark on a series of male to male blow jobs and for his mindset to become conditioned ( Pavlovian response ) in time to being preferentually aroused by the sight and smell and feeling of a man performing a sexually gratifying act for him!
I feel this because this is how I explain to myself why over a period of several years my sexual preference morphed from women to men! While an individual sexual act may not be significant by itself, I believe it is the accumulated effect which can , at least in individual cases , turn the tide and make a straight man prefer homosexual sex.

 

[hornbag80]

This is a very interesting question and shows different cultural impacts on our thinking. Here in western world, a str8 man will not want to get BJ from a gay guy. Now if we look at some smaller islands, such as Samoa, Tonga or Fiji, married man often get BJ off gay men when their wives are away or pregnant. Basically whenever they can't have sex, gay man are used to blow steam off. That don't make all these married guys gay!

 

[MarkLondon]

It all depends on the cultural context. In a lot of societies you'd be considered "gay" for doing the sucking, but he wouldn't be for getting sucked.

There's a trace of this in the american perjorative use of the term "cocksucker". They don't use the term "cocksuckee" or "headgetter" as an insult, do they?

 

[MisterMark]

While an individual sexual act may not be significant by itself, I believe it is the accumulated effect which can , at least in individual cases , turn the tide and make a straight man prefer homosexual sex.

Well, I don't rule anything out, but I guess you must also believe that a gay man can be transformed into a heterosexual if he can just have enough sex with women to fully convert him. Seems like a dubious position to take. :scratchchin:

 

[MisterMark]

Here in western world, a str8 man will not want to get BJ from a gay guy.

You obviously don't read ads in Craiglist's Men Seeking Men category. :wink:

 

[MisterMark]

It all depends on the cultural context. In a lot of societies you'd be considered "gay" for doing the sucking, but he wouldn't be for getting sucked.

There's a trace of this in the american perjorative use of the term "cocksucker". They don't use the term "cocksuckee" or "headgetter" as an insult, do they?

lol.. No, they don't.

I sense that a lot of American men are moving toward the mindset you described. It sure seems like there's a growing number of guys with wives and girlfriends who look for blowjobs from men on their way home from work or when their wives/girlfriends are out of town.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

Would letting a woman suck my dick make me str8?? NO