would u have a baby for a gay guy?
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The Dragon
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assuming you're in your viable child bearing years without any health complications would u:
A) be willing to have a baby for a gay guy (or couple) who was just a friend(s),
Absolutely. I went through years of infertility and considered how many people were able to have children thanks to the generosity of others. I would have loved to have given many couples the ability to have a child if I could have- gay, straight or otherwise.
and B) be ok if he wanted full custody and not make you a part of the kids life?
Only if I didn't know the couple personally. It would be extremely difficult to have contact with the person and not be able to share in some of the experiences that were made possible by me. Full custody is acceptable as long as I could see photos of the child's progression or something to show the results of my efforts, especially since it is hard for me not to bond with someone elbowing me in the ribs everyday.
more or less just offer to be his(their) surrogate and conceive and carry the baby for him(them)? might not even be close friend but you would have a good sense that he(they) would be good parents and provide well.
I would have more faith in gay parents providing a better homelife for a child. I believe their choice to become parents was well thought out and intentional and they would likely be more motivated to be good parents.
reason i'm asking is I'd really like to have kids of my own (biological) but don't see a traditional marriage with a woman in my future. any ethical issues that might make you decline?
I can see where a gay man or woman would get married to the opposite sex where they could receive many benefits from children, medical insurance or to avoid harassment from their community. I have faith that the future generations will not have to make such decisions because it won't be considered unethical for them to enjoy the same benefits as straight couples. I just continue to vote for these changes.
HiddenLacey
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I have to say no. Only based on the fact that unless I was dying I would never be able to have a child and give it to someone else. Regardless of who the father was, the baby would still be a part of me. I would always wonder about every moment of their life and I would always regret not being a part of it. If I could be in the child's life I might consider it, but the couple would have to be the closest of close friends who knew and understood me beyond anyone else.
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BuffaloMedic
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Know what? You can take your self righteous attitude and go fuck yourself. Because I'm SURE you're perfect in every way, and have never caused pain to anyone in your life.
Where did I say ANYTHING about trapping a woman or a planned divorce? I said I thought I could make it work. I wanted the whole thing: the marriage, the family, the house. I wanted the picture perfect life, and the happiness that goes along with it. I tried hard to be in a happy marriage, but it takes 2. The tone of my post definitely included some sarcasm, but I was faithful to my wife. She was the one who couldn't get past me being into guys. My percentage has definitely evolved; relationship wise, I def prefer guys. And while she's a decent person, during our marriage and break up, she wasn't.
You have no idea where I've been and what I've been through, so honestly, go screw.
A: Possibly.
B: If I was willing to be a surrogate for a gay guy/gay couple in the first place, then yes I wouldn't have a problem giving up any ties/obligations/custody/etc.
I had an easy pregnancy, an easy birth... but my body has had a very difficult time recovering from all of that, even though it's nearly 5 years ago.
As for wanting to have a child who is biologically yours I have to say I think it's a really weird/stupid concept to me. I was adopted from S. Korea when I was half a year old by a Caucasian family in the USA. There are so many children out there who need a loving home/loving family. Why does it matter whose genetic material it has? It's a living, breathing, human being no matter what.
Due to horrible/fucked up circumstances I ended up having to place my son in an open adoption. I'm thankful every day that I was able to find such an amazing couple/family for him. I'm grateful that I get to keep in touch with him and his adoptive parents.
I know that this is a ladies question, but i need to say something.
If I were a woman I could never do it. The only possible scenario for me would be raising the child TOGETHER with my gay friend.
In my opinion you just don`t give away your child to make people happy. This is not a question of a surrogate parenthood. This child is your flesh and blood.
Now the question of surrogate....It`s not an easy choice to be. I just don`t see any of my female friends willing to that job. And in my opinion it`s a job, a very noble job. Women get lots of money for it, and even though the child they carry isn`t theirs they go through all pragnancy issues. A very hard but noble task.
Adoption - I`m always for that. If there is a lonely child and you can make him happy with your love, and there is a chance you can provide the life that every child in this world deserves - go for it.
If I were a woman I could never do it. The only possible scenario for me would be raising the child TOGETHER with my gay friend.
In my opinion you just don`t give away your child to make people happy. This is not a question of a surrogate parenthood. This child is your flesh and blood.
Now the question of surrogate....It`s not an easy choice to be. I just don`t see any of my female friends willing to that job. And in my opinion it`s a job, a very noble job. Women get lots of money for it, and even though the child they carry isn`t theirs they go through all pragnancy issues. A very hard but noble task.
Adoption - I`m always for that. If there is a lonely child and you can make him happy with your love, and there is a chance you can provide the life that every child in this world deserves - go for it.
Not that I have a bone to pick with ya or anything, but for a lot of birth mothers, saying that they gave away their child = not kosher. I didn't just "give away" my son. :frown1:
I don't have anything else to say, considering I answered the thread's topic already
Oh, I know babe. I`m sorry you got it that way. That was exactly what I wanted to say. You do not just give away your child to make people happy. That`s the hardest decision a mother can make.
You had no choice, you gave your child for an adoption. Knowing you, I think you took all pros and cons into consideration, and then you`ve decided.
And by no means do I judge you. I salute you.
