Would you accept your bosses Facebook "Friend" request?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mj21045, Apr 10, 2011.

  1. mj21045

    mj21045 Member

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    Hey all...need a little advice. I just started a new job at the end of November (which required me to move to Maryland...love it by the way!). I work directly for the president of the company. He is probably one of the most handsome men I have ever met in my entire life. And he's incredibly nice and kind. He and I have hit it off. We've actually started becoming friends. Recently he confided in me that he and his wife have separated.

    We are a sales organization and social media is a big part of how we coach the sales folks to prospect for leads. He's recently "friended" me on Facebook. I'm hesitant to accept his request because it would definitely blur the lines between business and friends because he "friended" me on my personal account. I used to share on FB how attractive I thought he was and how lucky I was and some of my friends still ask how it's going and they ask about the "hot boss". That would be the LAST thing I'd want him to read!

    I'm conflicted because I'm honored that he has sent this request, but I'm hesitant. What do I do? I know it sounds silly...but it's bugging me!!!!

    Thanks gang!
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    I think you need to accept his friendship request. You need to tell your friends that they need to send you private messages in the future if they are asking questions about the "Hot Boss."
     
  3. Kotchanski

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I don't see how you can realistically decline it...

    He clearly doesn't feel it is crossing a line, and you've welcomed friendship from him already. If you decline, it basically tells him "Yeah, I know I behave like a friend, but that's only to keep my job, I don't really want you in my personal space"
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    A few of my friends had this problem. They accepted the request, and created new accounts. The boss is now privy to game requests and the real updates all go to the "new" account.
     
  5. D_Principle Pumped

    D_Principle Pumped New Member

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    I have my Facebook on top privicy settings and very few work mates and no bosses because somethings things said on Facebook get passed about and taken the wrong way. Also as nice as some bosses maybe some people vent on Facebook so not having work mates give the option of saying I work with a set of incompetent pricks and not have to worry about anyone finding out.
     
  6. B_ILIW

    B_ILIW New Member

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    Yes, I would. If the boss was close, in the sense that s/he and I had a good working relationship, the boss was a good coach/mentor, etc. then it would seem wrong IMO to refuse it.
     
  7. No_Strings

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    Would I? No, but then I wouldn't add most people.

    For your situation, you mention that you've "hit it off", are "becoming friends" and he's even confided his relationship status with you. As it's your personal account, I'd advise you to base your decision on these things. If you remove the employment factor from the equation, would you accept his friend request based on how you know him outside of the 'office'?

    Either way, it might behoove you to scroll through the history of your account and perhaps remove any "hot boss" references that he may stumble upon(unless you have a sexual interest, in which case your original question has answered itself).
     
  8. avengoid1

    avengoid1 Member

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    Sounds like you have no choice but to accept. But becoming "more than friends" with anyone from the workplace almost never ends well, from what I can tell.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    Yes, I would, but then, I'm like AE's friends, and I have more than one account.
     
  10. canuck_pa

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    You mention that your organization is sales based and social media is very important. Could you have one account for personal friends and another for business/business friends and suggest to your boss that he join your business account?

    If your boss is as good as you say he shouldn't be offended if you tell him that one account is strictly for non-business friends and family. Later if you want you can always invite him to join your personal account.
     
  11. hung_10

    hung_10 Well-Known Member

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    NO. my homelife is out of bounds to my employer..why create issues?
     
  12. CrookedHalo

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    There is absolutely no way I would allow my work life to intermingle with my personal life. I keep my personal life out of the workplace, period. People I work with only know the general stuff about my world. I also keep with that rule of not shitting where you eat. It's not always been easy for me to stick with it, but in the long run I'm extremely happy I've chosen to abide by that rule.
     
  13. JO_Bud

    JO_Bud Active Member

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    No. Do not accept his friend request. Just let him know that your FB account was set up for people in your personal life and that you prefer to keep it seperate from your professional life. Too many people get in trouble by doing this. No matter how close you may think you are right now, you never know how things will play out in the future. He's your boss first and foremost and you are subject to his judgement at work. Why open yourself up to potential problems? Don't do it.
     
  14. art

    art
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    No. Ignore it, and don't accept his friend request. You don't want your boss involved in your private life.
     
  15. phndoc

    phndoc Member

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    I could not. I wouldn't be free to talk and the way Vz's supervisers are it would be used against me. The superviser I had was a dumb fucker. He tried to fire me for something I said on my off time. Every time I turn around sending me home for something. He took a 14 year career and trushed it. It was so bad ending up at the EEO office. Guess who isn't here anymore....Dickhead.
     
  16. arthur

    arthur New Member

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    You don't accept. You don't mention it. If it comes up in conversation and he asks why have you not accepted my invitation...you reply 'sorry I'm never on that, a mate insisted I set up an account years ago?!'

    Bosses and senior collegues on Facebook are a recipe for disaster. Don't understand why in modern life that people we would not have thought about going out with socially are now okay to 'friend' 'internetally'. Think about it!?
     
  17. curious_angel

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    Your boss shouldn't have sent the request to you in the first place. It's unprofessional and is bound to make most employees feel uncomfortable.

    If I was you I'd decline it and explain that it's nothing personal, but you use FB for keeping in touch with *insert a group of people that he doesn't fit with* (close family members / love interests / fellow members of the Marylanders in the Buff Society).
     
  18. killerb

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    solution: create a new fb account that you will use only for business & send HIM a friend request...do this immediately before you act on his previous request.
     
  19. yoursgetsmine

    yoursgetsmine Member

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    If you post it, he'll read it...and it's a way that a person can monitor your friends and activities. Would you give him your password on your normal e-mail account? If you restrict him on seeing certain things, he'll not be happy. It's about like being in that place "between a hard spot and a rock" I don't think you can win.

    Suggestion.....set your settings so that only YOUR actual friends can see anything about you....even if you and he have "mutual" friends he can't see anything about you....so he can't tell if you're ignoring him when you're on Facebook.....except of course if you don't "friend" him and he WILL take it personally. We all do..........
     
  20. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think it must depend on the culture of your workplace. Everyone is on everyone else's Facebook here, bosses, employees, customers, everyone you've ever worked with... EVERYONE. A lot of people have a "business" Facebook and a "fun" Facebook.
     
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