Would you be insulted?

[windtalkerways]

I think that's why when my wife tells me "no", but really means "yes", it confuses the crap out of me, cause I take the "no" as meaning "no". Silly me, huh? :smile:

There's a discussion here which asks
about 'no' meaning 'yes', MG.

http://www.lpsg.org/showthread.php?t=24830

 

[windtalkerways]

Had she been after you and you didn't
pick up her 'signals' Rawbone? Maybe
that's what "prompted" the comment!

Not insulted.

The funniest situation I encountered was at a company Christmas get together when I was in my early 20's and the access to the open bar seemed to embolden one sloshed woman.

I mentioned my wife and my holiday plans and she blurted out in shock: " You're married? I thought you're gay!" rather loudly. More to her embarassment than mine, because she realized too late it was kind of rude to shout it out.

I laughed and so did the people who knew me.

My boss was the only out gay guy in management and she must have assumed I got hired by him for my fetching looks. Hilarious.

 

[windtalkerways]

i believe this happens because i know how to match the color of my watch, belt, and shoes.

Now this I like! :smile:

 

[rawbone8]

Had she been after you and you didn't
pick up her 'signals' Rawbone? Maybe
that's what "prompted" the comment!

:yikes: um, I sure hope not, she was about 8 years away from retirement and a candidate for a role on The Office

 

[windtalkerways]

:yikes: um, I sure hope not, she was about 8 years away from retirement and a candidate for a role on The Office

:tongue: Oh c'mon...ya know you
love that show!:wink:

 

[BigPoppaFury]

I dont think I've ever been asked, but I couldn't care less if someone thinks Im gay. Unless she's hot and decides not to say hi because she thinks Im gay, Id care then...

 

[mr obd]

Following on from the "Straight guys- handsome men" thread...

To other straight guys... If someone suggested you might be gay, would you be insulted or would you just wonder why they'd made the mistake? and why? The "why" is probably the most significant part of the question.

Thoughts from gay/bi guys and ladies on the subject welcome.

i went to a uni where 70% of the population were gay so was asked every other day if i was gay, my older bro came out 14/15 years ago when he was 15/16 & i was at school so have been asked thru bein a kid as well.

At first it worried me but as i kept getting asked it didnt bother me to the point now where im open about everything & dont get insulted or upset when/if people think im gay or not. I usually joke around about it with whoever asks me now but only cause im so comfortable with my own sexuality, it keeps them guessing about me & also keeps it at a jokey level for both me & them but i certainly wouldnt get insulted by it or bothered by it.
I'm just never serious about most things anyways but thats me

 

[GuyanaPrince]

Coming from an arts background, where gays are all over the place, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me. However, once I've established where I'm standing, I expect that to be respected. Women and gay men sometimes think to test you or something, when you're more comfortable with gays than they think is normal, and I hate that.

What do I have to do - bang you in a public square to prove I'm str8?

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

One of my pet peeves are queens who chase straight guys. They make the rest of us look bad. My gaydar is nearly flawless. I can think of one time I thought I was wrong and then a few months later we got drunk together and he jumped me. Oops. I have pretty straight male friends and I respect their sexuality. It would be a violation of honor IMHO not to.

 

[inkubus963]

I am MORE insulted when people DON'T believe I'm gay because I'm not thin, neat, well-groomed, and have appalling taste in music, art, design, clothing, friends, and interior decoration. Is there such a thing as a Queer Eye for the Queer Guy?

On a similar note, my dad was a firm believer in the alpha-masculine image, and so it's was ingrained in me to behave in that limited fashion. Now, as I've aged and become more educated, self-aware, and exposed to culture, I've learned to adopt changes and be comfortable in varying my image and behavior as I need to. Being a Social Chameleon has helped me quite a bit, barring occasional dips into sociopathology (call me Mr. Ripley...), but the side effect is that when you visit my home, you would swear that either 6 guys or 1 guy with MPD lives there!

People who do not know me do not usually think me Gay. I have decent taste in music, art, design, clothing, friends, and interior decoration, but I'm not at all thin ( a love of cooking is to blame ), and I am frequently not neat and well-groomed. The last is because I am frequently, and happily, alone. When I go out casually I look like a stereotypical truck driver. When I do dress up, I can walk into any place I desire and be treated with deference and respect, unless that place is socially closed because of some surface "ism". I do not feel that I enjoy cultural things because of some elusive gay gene, but because I have elevated myself and my standards. I'm still just as happy with a bucket of chicken and a '40 wit' my boyz, thanks, when that behavior suits my needs.

I love that I cannot be pigeon-holed. When I meet people in person after telephone conversations, I am amused by their barely concealed shock that my physical image does not match their mental one generated by hearing my voice and speech patterns (Wow, you don't SOUND Black/Gay/Older..).

I guess what this ramble is supposed to say, is that we all need to quit making an appearance-related judgement, and then treating that judgement as Divine Edict, whether in assuming that the cute guy is Gay or Straight, the Black man is a criminal, or the Voice-on-the-Phone is a polished White man, and wait until we know the person under that shell before judging.

 

[tallguypns]

I've never been asked if I'm straight, but I've been asked if I'm gay twice. Both times in a gay bar.

 

[hars]

I agree 100% with you Giozam. Not every guy is comfortable with his sexuality as it is. I can't put it any better than you did:biggrin1:

I think the question is daunting no matter if you are straight, gay, bi, male or female. For me, when I've gotten the question, I feel taken by surprise a little. The queston isn't expected and is kind of weird. I usually wonder about the motive behind it.

 

[EFH33]

Following on from the "Straight guys- handsome men" thread...

To other straight guys... If someone suggested you might be gay, would you be insulted or would you just wonder why they'd made the mistake? and why? The "why" is probably the most significant part of the question.

Thoughts from gay/bi guys and ladies on the subject welcome.

This has happened to me before. It bothered me when I was younger, but as I got older it bothered me less and less. I am the youngest of 8 children, and the other 7 are girls, so I've had a lot of female influences in my life. I like certain things that most men would see as less than masculine (clothes, baking, singing), and sometimes they assume I am gay because of that. I am also pretty emotional and not afraid to cry at a movie if the mood hits me. None of these things are considered "masculine" in the definition of the word, but it doesn't make someone gay or straight. The reason why people wonder these things is because of their stereotypes of what gay and straight are. However, if they would delve deeper they would see that sexual preference is harder to decipher by just looking at someone.

 

[redfraggle]

People have often thought that I am straight.

Here at home (Sydney, Australia) if you are gay you are tall, anywhere from 'thin as a rake' to 'walnuts in a stocking' but never 'average' or (dare I say it?) 'fat', you are pegged as a homo. Gay guys are clean, have great teeth, are well dressed and have their hair far too short, but it is always in control. They have nice shoes and 3/4 pants are always looking sharp.

I don't fit that mold, I have red hair (many gay men think that is enough to keep me out), which happens to be longer than an inch! I am not well built, only 5'9" and don't often prance around in 3/4 pants. My teeth are clean and white, my shoes are passable and my nails are not chewed to the knucle.

Becase of this there are many people here who assume I am straight compared to some of my straight friends who fit the 'gay' mold. They are often thought to be gay and most of them take it as a compliment. "Hey, they think I look good, smell good and have nice shoes, what is so bad about that? Lucky they can't see my fingernails."

I suppose the moral is not to assume stuff. But we do and will always. We don't help it by pandering to the idea of the 'gay' or 'straight' image, so by my own personal protest I am going to keep my red hair, and keep it past regulation gay length, wear comfortable shoes, either stay sightly overweight or work in construction to get a 'naturally toned body'.

I am also under the impression that many straight women (and possibly more than a few straight men) are of the thinking that gay guys have bigger dicks. I am not sure where this comes from, but as a gay man, bring it on! All the more reason to be happy when someone thinks your gay, "No I am not gay, I just have a large penis, simple mistake".

As long as the person asking the question is wanting to get into my pants, it is always a compliment :biggrin1:

 

[GuyanaPrince]

How dare you buck the system this way! Bigots everywhere are scratching their heads and putting their eyes out with hot pokers, "What good is sight anymore, with this red devil defying our time-honored stereotypes? Damn this crimson menace! Damn his wholesome, apple-cheeked pudginess!"

You are the gay antichrist, my red-plumed friend. You are the purest evil. :firedevil:

 

[redfraggle]

How dare you buck the system this way! Bigots everywhere are scratching their heads and putting their eyes out with hot pokers, "What good is sight anymore, with this red devil defying our time-honored stereotypes? Damn this crimson menace! Damn his wholesome, apple-cheeked pudginess!"

You are the gay antichrist, my red-plumed friend. You are the purest evil. :firedevil:

Finally, a label I can be proud of! :biggrin1:

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

I don't like being insinuated that I am gay. What I am is something "else", but I am far too old to feel I need to be pre-judged. I mean, some stupid prick had a go at me for wearing a cap from my parent's motherland. WTFF? I ain't from there, but I can't be proud of my ancestory?

Of course, stupid niggers, albinos and Ali-abu-mohammed-turbo-ists can say that I am this that and the other, but start bitching when I'm the one using the harsh and violent language?

I am what I am. I do not object to people of both genders finding anything attractive about me, I like it, to be honest, but at the end of the day, a polite ask and a polite refusal is acceptable, but a "YOU GAY WANKERS!" from across the road isn't.

 

[misfit20]

I didn't have my first steady girlfriend until I was in University (I was 22)
One day one of the guys that lived in my housing Co-operative said that he was always sure that I was gay but now that I have a girlfriend he supposed he was wrong. Was I offended - not really. Surprised at his lack of tact - perhaps. However it wasn't the first time someone was confused, and I am sure it won't be the last. Ignorant people are everywhere, avoiding them can be a challenge sometimes.:biggrin1:
--------------------------

 

[Webster]

I respectfully disagree.
For me, it's a matter of being mis-understood. It drives me up a tree when people assume they know what I am thinking and they get it wrong.

I don't particularly like being propsitioned by gay men, but I particularly hate it once I've tried to make it clear that I'm str8 and they keep it up just to annoy me. Or the people who assert that I will one day eventually become gay... just give it a try.

I'd prefer it if people gave me credit for knowing my own mind.

______________________________
One time I was in a gay bar and this obviously straight girl asked me to dance. She started doing all kinds of slutty gyrations and coming on to me.
She said to me over and over, "how do you know if you've never tried it?"
Roll my eyes.
I had no doubt whatsoever what I liked.......

 

[inkubus963]

I don't like being insinuated that I am gay. What I am is something "else", but I am far too old to feel I need to be pre-judged. I mean, some stupid prick had a go at me for wearing a cap from my parent's motherland. WTFF? I ain't from there, but I can't be proud of my ancestory?

Of course, stupid niggers, albinos and Ali-abu-mohammed-turbo-ists can say that I am this that and the other, but start bitching when I'm the one using the harsh and violent language?

I am what I am. I do not object to people of both genders finding anything attractive about me, I like it, to be honest, but at the end of the day, a polite ask and a polite refusal is acceptable, but a "YOU GAY WANKERS!" from across the road isn't.

Uhh, not pre-judging here, and speaking exclusively as someone who is frequently perceived as a "stupid nigger, albino or Ali-abu-mohammed-turbo-ist", how did we get from people thinking that straight men might be gay to racial comparisons? Did that really need to be brought to this thread to make your point?