Would you date a guy with 0 friends?

[Doranq]

Zero as in like he hasn't had any in years. Like 10 or so years.

How much of an issue would this be?

Personally I don't have any desire to make any friends. I don't know when it became that way but it did. I'm not mean or unfriendly, nothing like that. Just the interest is not there, more keep to myself. I want a partner/companion so I guess one friend lol (but more because I wouldn't consider a gf/spouse just a 'friend') Kind of like the opposite of how some people don't want relationships or only want platonic relationships, but I'm only interested in finding a life partner. That's just me. Though the question is targeted for any kind of dating, not just serious.


If you got along well with a guy, would that connection be enough? (to clarify I don't mean you sacrifice your friends and only spend time with him or anything of the such, just that you'd proceed to date him) Or is that a huge problem? Has this ever come up with any of your friends? Like what did they do in that scenario?

 

[693987]

At best, I would find it extremely odd. Even as introverted as my partner and I are, we still have friends. We may not see them often, whether due to geography, being busy, etc and just not feeling a need to socialize very much. We still have them, though.

It would make me wonder why the person would have zero friends. At worst it would make me contemplate what was wrong with them to have literally zero friends.

 

[693987]

Er, to actually answer the initial question though... I would be highly suspect, skeptical, cautious, and suspicious about pursuing any kind of relationship with someone who had zero friends. I'm pretty cautious about humanity in general, though, so that's not unusual for me

 

[Doranq]

Er, to actually answer the initial question though... I would be highly suspect, skeptical, cautious, and suspicious about pursuing any kind of relationship with someone who had zero friends. I'm pretty cautious about humanity in general, though, so that's not unusual for me

That's fair.


Though I'm still unclear if your answer is no or yes. Would it be fair to consider it as 'realistically no I wouldn't?' I only lean that way with my guess because "pursuing any kind of relationship" seems more like that thought process would just lead to avoiding x person for fear of ____ and just instead interact with people who do not pose.. Idk if threat is the right word here, maybe they are less foreign or more likely to be compatible would be a more apt description.

 

[693987]

That's fair.


Though I'm still unclear if your answer is no or yes. Would it be fair to consider it as 'realistically no I wouldn't?' I only lean that way with my guess because "pursuing any kind of relationship" seems more like that thought process would just lead to avoiding x person for fear of ____ and just instead interact with people who do not pose.. Idk if threat is the right word here, maybe they are less foreign or more likely to be compatible would be a more apt description.

I try not to speak in absolutes. I would as a generalization find someone having flat out zero friends too questionable and it would likely be a "no, I would not pursue them". It's possible a hypothetical person could be so otherwise fantastic that I would be less bothered. I have some pretty fucking high standards for a potential partner, though.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

You sound like me.

I really don't have many actual friends who I would consider close to me. I used to. Many are gone. Some dead, some strung out, some just moved on and didn't keep in touch.

I don't really have any desire to make new friends to spend time with. I get enough socializing at work. Too much actually. I do have a few peeps at work I consider to be friends of mine, but I only see them at work. We don't go out on weekends and have get together situations.

There are also several ladies here who I consider to be friends of mine who I would actually love to spend time with face to face. They know who they is

So, to answer your question... It's not an automatic No for me if a guy doesn't have friends. It just depends on why.

 

[Doranq]

You sound like me.

I really don't have many actual friends who I would consider close to me. I used to. Many are gone. Some dead, some strung out, some just moved on and didn't keep in touch.

I don't really have any desire to make new friends to spend time with. I get enough socializing at work. Too much actually. I do have a few peeps at work I consider to be friends of mine, but I only see them at work. We don't go out on weekends and have get together situations.

There are also several ladies here who I consider to be friends of mine who I would actually love to spend time with face to face. They know who they is

So, to answer your question... It's not an automatic No for me if a guy doesn't have friends. It just depends on why.

Is it something you ask about. As in would you ask if he had friends?

Also as for your acceptance, what are the why's it hinges upon?

 

[MickeyLee]

why does this person have no friends? Are they limited in their options to meet new people? Some folks go from work to home and have little time to socialize. Do they want friends? If I made the effort to bring them into my circle would they refect my attempts to give them community roots?

There have been times when owing to a recent move and a little too much self-isolation I have zero friends in the city I moved too. Between work and adjusting to the new place, I lacked the energy to pursue friendships. I also got very stingy with my time. I wanted to knit blankets and watch horror movies. The idea of including strangers into my pastimes seemed to require too much of me.

I wouldn't autodelete them as a possibility for friend or more. I would need to know where they are in their lives and how much they were willing to invest in a friendship. I need to be met at least halfway. I no longer have the patience or the inclination to pull someone out of a shell. A person wanting connection and being open to new situation, I would so be willing to take them around and introduce them a broader circle of folks.

 

[Holly Doors]

Zero as in like he hasn't had any in years. Like 10 or so years.

How much of an issue would this be?

Personally I don't have any desire to make any friends. I don't know when it became that way but it did. I'm not mean or unfriendly, nothing like that. Just the interest is not there, more keep to myself. I want a partner/companion so I guess one friend lol (but more because I wouldn't consider a gf/spouse just a 'friend') Kind of like the opposite of how some people don't want relationships or only want platonic relationships, but I'm only interested in finding a life partner. That's just me. Though the question is targeted for any kind of dating, not just serious.


If you got along well with a guy, would that connection be enough? (to clarify I don't mean you sacrifice your friends and only spend time with him or anything of the such, just that you'd proceed to date him) Or is that a huge problem? Has this ever come up with any of your friends? Like what did they do in that scenario?

Hiya sweetie, for me it probably would be an issue I'm afraid. I'm a very outgoing kinda woman and friends both my own, my partners and our friends as a couple are very important to my lifestyle, I'm sure and know of couples who are very happy to just enjoy their own company but it's not for me I'm afraid and I honestly can't even imagine changing that for a man xx

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Is it something you ask about. As in would you ask if he had friends?

Also as for your acceptance, what are the why's it hinges upon?

Eventually, I'd probably ask what his idea of a social outing would be and if he's into crowded places etc. I'd ask specifically because I don't like big crowds or going to social events. That conversation would likely lead to information about friendships and other related stuffs.

If he doesn't have friends because he literally can't keep them because of behavioral issues, I'm putting distance. If he's simply like me and has no real interest in having several friends I'm not shying away.

My guy actually only has a small handful of friends he sees fairly infrequently, and I don't join them in their get togethers. They've actually asked why I don't try to be around more, if I don't like them or something. He just told em "that's just my chick. She's kind of a loner". No biggie.

 

[Doranq]

Hiya sweetie, for me it probably would be an issue I'm afraid. I'm a very outgoing kinda woman and friends both my own, my partners and our friends as a couple are very important to my lifestyle, I'm sure and know of couples who are very happy to just enjoy their own company but it's not for me I'm afraid and I honestly can't even imagine changing that for a man xx

Do you mean changing 'that' as in changing the fact you'd hang out with his friends in addition to yours

Or do you mean changing 'that' in that you mean sacrificing hanging out with your friends because he doesn't want to, basically just spending time with him?

 

[nailz]

Not one friend or even a pet would be a warning sign.
We're social animals, if someone does not feel the need to connect with other people or have the social skills to maintain a friendship I would wonder how they would be able to function in a relationship.

But I also think the other extreme, where someone's friends are totally the focal point of their life and their first priority, is just as much of an issue.

 

[deleted924715]

Is this guy completely isolated, or does he spend time with family?

I think I'd probably give him a chance if I was drawn to him - I'm only drawn to men who have a warmth about them anyway. I've known men with tons of friends that didn't meet this criteria

 

[LaFemme]

Zero friends? Not even a childhood friend one, or a long lasting high school or college buddy? I mean, that’s kind of suspect to me. I have a few ride or die friends - rarely see them, but those few women are my soul sisters. I also have those social acquaintances, too. I would find it strange and off putting if a man didn’t have at least one close relationship, be it friend or relative.

I mean, who clears your porn/sex toy stash if you die suddenly? Or you need bail money? Or you gotta move in the middle of the night, no questions asked? Ride or die bestie.

 

[AlteredEgo]

It's a giant red flag for me. It's not automatically disqualifying, but it would raise a lot of questions.

 

[Doranq]

Zero friends? Not even a childhood friend one, or a long lasting high school or college buddy? I mean, that’s kind of suspect to me. I have a few ride or die friends - rarely see them, but those few women are my soul sisters. I also have those social acquaintances, too. I would find it strange and off putting if a man didn’t have at least one close relationship, be it friend or relative.

I mean, who clears your porn/sex toy stash if you die suddenly? Or you need bail money? Or you gotta move in the middle of the night, no questions asked? Ride or die bestie.

I guess luckily I'm not the sort to ever do things that'd land me in need of bail or having to move in the middle of the night. As for my stash, its all on my external hd except for my super huge collection of anime pics that are a combination of SFW/NSFW (all conveniently organized for one can find what they want.) I'd hope if someone found that stash they'd find something that they like lol. That and plenty of other goodies like many games, software, movies, shows, music vids, etc.

 

[Doranq]

Side question. Do you think it is something that's worth being transparent about?

Not that I mean to lie about but one of those things you don't disclose or only give partial information.

 

[LaFemme]

Side question. Do you think it is something that's worth being transparent about?

Not that I mean to lie about but one of those things you don't disclose or only give partial information.

I think it becomes apparent in conversation. Definitely not something I’d lead with, or want to hear. Personally, it would make me go, “hmmmm”. A guy who can’t connect with anyone long term? It makes me think he might rely on me for all his relationship needs. And like the meme says, ‘I’m not bacon - I can’t make everyone happy’. Too much pressure.

 

[Doranq]

I think it becomes apparent in conversation. Definitely not something I’d lead with, or want to hear. Personally, it would make me go, “hmmmm”. A guy who can’t connect with anyone long term? It makes me think he might rely on me for all his relationship needs. And like the meme says, ‘I’m not bacon - I can’t make everyone happy’. Too much pressure.

Why do you he'd rely on you for all his relationship needs/how many needs do you think he could/would have?

xD lol I'd never lead with it nor am I going to ever ever just randomly volunteer it. Nothing good can come from it. At least based on past experiences just ridicule (from said person/other persons they tell) and/or contempt. Which in a way is kind of messed up but it is what it is.