Would you date a man who doesn't pay or is late with his child support?

Would you date a man who doesn't pay or is late with his court ordered child support?

  • yes

    Votes: 3 8.6%
  • No

    Votes: 32 91.4%

  • Total voters
    35
  • Poll closed .

Jovial

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If we were serious, or close to becoming serious, and they mentioned kids or not paying child support, then it would make a difference.
What's the difference between casual dating, serious and "close to becoming serious"? It all seems very blurry to me. :confused:
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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What's the difference between casual dating, serious and "close to becoming serious"? It all seems very blurry to me. :confused:
By my definition, casual dating is something I do most likely for fun and have no intention of moving beyond that level or would have to grow beyond that level to become serious. The mid-level dating of moving on to becoming serious is where I spend a lot of time with just that one person and begin to stop dating, hanging, talking to others. Plus, assume he does the same, in a sort of tacit agreement.

Serious dating is where it is just the two of us in a monogamous relationship, where we have expressed a need to be with each other solely in the long term, in a deeper commitment with deeper and stronger emotions than the previous levels. I guess, the next step after this would be marriage for some people, just not me.

To further illustrate, I have casually dated many, hit the mid-level with about 5, and reached serious with 2.
 

Guy-jin

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By my definition, casual dating is something I do most likely for fun and have no intention of moving beyond that level or would have to grow beyond that level to become serious. The mid-level dating of moving on to becoming serious is where I spend a lot of time with just that one person and begin to stop dating, hanging, talking to others. Plus, assume he does the same, in a sort of tacit agreement.

Serious dating is where it is just the two of us in a monogamous relationship, where we have expressed a need to be with each other solely in the long term, in a deeper commitment with deeper and stronger emotions than the previous levels. I guess, the next step after this would be marriage for some people, just not me.

To further illustrate, I have casually dated many, hit the mid-level with about 5, and reached serious with 2.


That seems complicated.
 

Principessa

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By my definition, casual dating is something I do most likely for fun and have no intention of moving beyond that level or would have to grow beyond that level to become serious. The mid-level dating of moving on to becoming serious is where I spend a lot of time with just that one person and begin to stop dating, hanging, talking to others. Plus, assume he does the same, in a sort of tacit agreement.
Serious dating is where it is just the two of us in a monogamous relationship, where we have expressed a need to be with each other solely in the long term, in a deeper commitment with deeper and stronger emotions than the previous levels. I guess, the next step after this would be marriage for some people, just not me.

To further illustrate, I have casually dated many, hit the mid-level with about 5, and reached serious with 2.
:wtf1: What is this bullshit with levels of dating? :mad::confused:



What's the difference between casual dating, serious and "close to becoming serious"? It all seems very blurry to me. :confused:
It's ridiculous.
Either I am dating a man or he is just a friend. If he is just a friend there is no sex, kissing, cuddling, or fondling. If I am having sex with him it is exclusive and he better not be fucking anybody else because I'm not. :cool:

Joe: they just make that shit complicated to have excuses when they cheat on each other and such


Joe: if you're confused, ask if it's exclusive

njqt466: OMG! I think you are right

Joe : there's no confusion to that answer

Joe: ARE WE EXCLUSIVE

Joe: YES/NO

Joe: if i had a girl try to pull that shit on me, i'd drop her like a bad habit

Joe: hehe

Joe: "oh we're not dating, we're 'seeing each other'"

Joe: "ok. go see yourself out the door then."

njqt466: hahahaha

 

Guy-jin

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What's the difference between casual dating, serious and "close to becoming serious"? It all seems very blurry to me. :confused:

There is no difference. It's all semantic bullshit that people make up to have an excuse when they cheat on their mate.

Can you imagine? You're dating/seeing/whatevering this woman on a regular basis and find out she's screwing some other guy on the side. When you confront her she goes, "Oh, sorry, I thought I was clear that we were seeing each other, not dating! I didn't know you thought we were dating!"

You're either exclusive or you're not. If you're not, better be clear on it. Don't make up this levels stuff that everyone needs to keep track of. If you just want to be a fuckbuddy, be direct about it. If you just want to be friends, be direct about it. Don't jerk people around with semantics. It's just mean.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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There is no difference. It's all semantic bullshit that people make up to have an excuse when they cheat on their mate.

Can you imagine? You're dating/seeing/whatevering this woman on a regular basis and find out she's screwing some other guy on the side. When you confront her she goes, "Oh, sorry, I thought I was clear that we were seeing each other, not dating! I didn't know you thought we were dating!"

You're either exclusive or you're not. If you're not, better be clear on it. Don't make up this levels stuff that everyone needs to keep track of. If you just want to be a fuckbuddy, be direct about it. If you just want to be friends, be direct about it. Don't jerk people around with semantics. It's just mean.
I am always direct.
I have never cheated.
My serious relationships have been completely monogamous and with both of our agreeing to be in a committed, long term relationship.

If you do not want to conduct your affairs similarly, that's fine. However, do not assume that because one chooses to live their lives differently from you that it is inherently flawed, lacks legitimacy or seriousness.

I was not aware there had to be a general consensus about relationships beyond those involved? Wait, there isn't a need. Therefore, you create and classify relationships in the manner you see fit and I will do the same.
 

joybunny

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No. The way I see it is if a man makes a child, he needs to take care of that child. I find that a big character flaw and I am not interested in any man who will not take care of his responsibilities. I understand things can happen so I am not including those who may have had some type of catastrophic event occur. However, the others just look like losers to me. In any case, I can't see myself dating a man doesn't pay or is late with his child support.

I loved the sideline discussion about mama's boys. There seems to be a lot of them running around (Or maybe I'm just attracting them.) I wonder if there is some correlation between men who a mama's boys and those who love big boobs? Maybe I can get a research grant for it.
:rolleyes:
 

Principessa

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No. The way I see it is if a man makes a child, he needs to take care of that child. I find that a big character flaw and I am not interested in any man who will not take care of his responsibilities. I understand things can happen so I am not including those who may have had some type of catastrophic event occur. However, the others just look like losers to me. In any case, I can't see myself dating a man doesn't pay or is late with his child support.

I loved the sideline discussion about mama's boys. There seems to be a lot of them running around (Or maybe I'm just attracting them.) I wonder if there is some correlation between men who a mama's boys and those who love big boobs? Maybe I can get a research grant for it.
:rolleyes:
I agree.
 

Guy-jin

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If you do not want to conduct your affairs similarly, that's fine. However, do not assume that because one chooses to live their lives differently from you that it is inherently flawed, lacks legitimacy or seriousness.

That's a fallacy because I'm not assuming that your choices are flawed, lack legitimacy or seriousness because they're different from mine.

In fact, I'm not criticizing you at all.

I'm stating quite clearly that this idea that things like "dating" and "seeing each other" are different from each other, and that one could be seen as more "serious" then another as a general rule, is ridiculous. For all intents and purposes, those statements are synonymous.


I was not aware there had to be a general consensus about relationships beyond those involved? Wait, there isn't a need. Therefore, you create and classify relationships in the manner you see fit and I will do the same.
That's fine. Stick to your levels system or whatever you want. To me, it's overly complicated for such a simple thing as defining a relationship, but if you like it, go for it.

The only real thing that matters is this: Exclusive, yes or no? Because if one person thinks it's an exclusive relationship and the other doesn't, that's a recipe for disaster, and someone's feelings are going to get very hurt.

And to complete that thought, if the man you're dating doesn't know your level system and where your relationship is on it, you're going to want to be clear on precisely where he stands on the exclusivity level if you want to avoid a problem.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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I'm stating quite clearly that this idea that things like "dating" and "seeing each other" are different from each other, and that one could be seen as more "serious" then another as a general rule, is ridiculous. For all intents and purposes, those statements are synonymous.
Did I make this distinction?

That's fine. Stick to your levels system or whatever you want. To me, it's overly complicated for such a simple thing as defining a relationship, but if you like it, go for it.
It does work for me.
In fact, I have had this discussion with other and most have some sort of system, strategy, or level to their dating. Whether it be the "mr. right" or "mr. right now" or something where someone dates by profession or wealth.

That's a fallacy because I'm not assuming that your choices are flawed, lack legitimacy or seriousness because they're different from mine.

In fact, I'm not criticizing you at all.

I'm stating quite clearly that this idea that things like "dating" and "seeing each other" are different from each other, and that one could be seen as more "serious" then another as a general rule, is ridiculous. For all intents and purposes, those statements are synonymous.


That's fine. Stick to your levels system or whatever you want. To me, it's overly complicated for such a simple thing as defining a relationship, but if you like it, go for it.

The only real thing that matters is this: Exclusive, yes or no? Because if one person thinks it's an exclusive relationship and the other doesn't, that's a recipe for disaster, and someone's feelings are going to get very hurt.

And to complete that thought, if the man you're dating doesn't know your level system and where your relationship is on it, you're going to want to be clear on precisely where he stands on the exclusivity level if you want to avoid a problem.


As stated, I am very direct.
I will tell people I am dating if I have another date or dating other people, it is not an issue and there is nothing hidden. Further, dating does not necessarily mean intimacy or sex, rather it is spending time together, going out on dates, getting to know each other, and building a relationship.

In my experience, dating never begins with exclusivity, you build towards it and not all you date make it to that level. However, when I do reach a level of exclusivity in a relationship it is expressed and honored.
 

Guy-jin

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Did I make this distinction?

Wasn't the initial post of mine you quoted in response to Jovial asking for the difference between "dating" and "seeing each other" and such? That's what I've been talking about, at least.

As stated, I am very direct.
I will tell people I am dating if I have another date or dating other people, it is not an issue and there is nothing hidden. Further, dating does not necessarily mean intimacy or sex, rather it is spending time together, going out on dates, getting to know each other, and building a relationship.

In my experience, dating never begins with exclusivity, you build towards it and not all you date make it to that level. However, when I do reach a level of exclusivity in a relationship it is expressed and honored.

I'm glad to hear you're clear on the issue.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Wasn't the initial post of mine you quoted in response to Jovial asking for the difference between "dating" and "seeing each other" and such? That's what I've been talking about, at least.



I'm glad to hear you're clear on the issue.

Nope, Jovial's post was asking about he difference in an early post where I mentioned something about casual dating and serious dating. Casual, being the more get to know you or good time dating, an intermediary dating where you are moving towards exclusivity by stop seeing other people and spending more time together as a new couple, and serious dating being the exclusive, monogamous type.

I never mentioned seeing each other and dating as two separate things. Actually, I do not believe I mentioned seeing each other at all. :confused:

Eta: I could be wrong, but am too lazy to look.
 

Guy-jin

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Again... I wasn't responding to you in that post.

And if you prefer, feel free to change "seeing each other" with "close to becoming serious" and "dating" with "serious" if you want, as those were the exact terms used by Jovial.

I mentioned those two terms in particular because I had a conversation with someone external to this board and those two had come up as questionable about whether they were interchangeable. They were examples from that, and in my last post clearly I just didn't look back to make sure. So excuse me for that (but yeah, I'm lazy too :tongue:).

To reiterate what I've said before, my point was that it's all semantics, and that that the really important distinction is that one is either in an exclusive relationship or not.
 

vxie

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The answer to this question is not clear cut...

It would depend on why he was late or not paying his child support... relationships are complicated, especially broken families - and having come from one, and having been raised by a single mum, i wouldnt be so quick to make a decision without knowing the facts.
 

DC_DEEP

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This can be a complicated issue, but the quick & easy answer is "no."

I honestly wouldn't want to be with a man whose children were not the most important thing in his life.
 

Principessa

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omg. must there always be all kinds of drama? :rolleyes:
to answer the poll: NO.
LMAO You have been here long enough to know that some of us thrive on strife and discord. Therefore, there must be drama. :lmao:

This can be a complicated issue, but the quick & easy answer is "no."

I honestly wouldn't want to be with a man whose children were not the most important thing in his life.
I concur.