This is really not very different from the posts that ask about sexless relationships.
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But a long term relationship for me is about more than sex. So, while I wouldn't seek out a relationship with someone who wanted only oral sex, I wouldn't walk away from a relationship just because it evolved into only oral.
I agree; I wouldn't see one out, but wouldn't instantly rule someone out because of it. It's something we'd have to really talk about, though.
"What exactly do you mean by 'I don't do anal'? You don't do anal outside of a monogamous relationship? You don't do anal on Tuesdays? You don't do anal at all, ever, under any circumstances? You physiologically can't do anal?"
That conversation likely wouldn't happen on the first date, but it'd happen relatively early. And depending on how that conversation went, we'd figure it out and see if we could come to an accord. How does he feel about toys? open relationships? monogamish arrangements? Sexual compatibility isn't the be-all-end-all, but it's a factor we'd need to work around. And I'm not out to try and change anybody or go into a relationship thinking, "Oh, he'll change his mind eventually..." Cuz that doesn't work.
But that also being the case, and knowing what I know about myself now - I don't think it would be sustainable in the long term for me to *only* ever have oral and never give/receive anal sex. There would have to be negotiations and compromises, as there always are in relationships:
- If he doesn't want to use his own dick to fuck me for some reason, we could get toys and see if that works.
- If he 100% refuses to get fucked ever and will never change his mind, he would at least need to be comfortable with threesomes or me otherwise getting that need met elsewhere.
But if the price of entry for that relationship was forsaking anal sex forever and 100% no-compromise monogamy, then no thanks.
