I don't usually post here (or not much or seriously) but I'd like to express my anger at the lack of understanding of what bisexuality is.
I consider myself bisexual. I've had meaningful sexual relationships with both men and women, but I've always been more involved with women. It might be because I find it difficult to find acceptance of my bisexuality and want to stick with the simplest denomination, or it might also be because I am naturally more comfortable with girls. I'm very anti-competitive, which has pushed me away from men all my life. I've only ever had a few male friends, usually one at a time, because I can't handle other men's manliness all that well.
Now. Bisexuality (or rather MY bisexuality) is not some kind of intermittent sexual state of mind. I am not wandering helplessly between two sexualities. I have access to both sexualities, and what triggers me to go one or the other way is mysterious and often unexplainable.
I have a girlfriend now, we have been together for 18 months and we are very much in love. She knows of my ventures into the other world, and she has confessed to being curious about it too. And this is what separates bisexuality from curiosity.
Bisexuality is the capacity to engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships with either gender. That is what I do (although I've never felt romantic about men). It means that the difference between men and women basically disappears with regard to those things.
It does mean that I have twice as many people to cheat with. But what is the difference between 3 or 6 billions. If you want to cheat, most likely you will cheat, whether it be because you feel dissatisfied or because you're an asshole.
So to women who claim that bisexual men are more likely to cheat on you, you are just not thinking this through. Unless you live on an island with 15 people...
The one issue I find there is with bisexuality is that one half of my sexuality is bound to be unavailable as long as I am with someone. It does not cause much frustration. I guess it's the same feeling some heterosexual men get when they see a hot girl on the street, like a small mental "fuck I wish I wasn't in a relationship". Other than a slight occasional frustration, it's all good.
And then you can always discuss the matter with your partner. For example, I would not in a hundred years consider my sleeping with a boy cheating on my girlfriend. I would not feel guilt because it is so fundamentally different.
But that's just me.
So the point is (that might not have been clear)-
Bisexuality is as solid of a sexual orientation as hetero- or homosexuality. It is not any more ambiguous or undecided. It is NOT the addition of hetero- and homosexuality into one sexuality, it is the LACK of distinction between the two, which is a huge difference.
cf.
Omnivorous people eat both vegetables and meat, but you don't consider them to be the sum of vegetarianism and carnivorism.
Omnivorous ≠ vegetarian + carnivore
but rather the lack of distinction between vegetarianism and carnivorism.
Bisexual ≠ heterosexual + homosexual
but rather the lack of distinction between hetero- and homosexuality.
Those who think that real bisexuals don't exist might as well go read a book.
However it would have to be someone very special for me to be ok with this. I'm not saying I would date random guys and they could all have boyfriends. You are who you are and you love who you love. People cannot change themselves. I wouldn't want to change who I am. So I don't feel like I would have the right to change him. I would however want him to be upfront with me about his preferences from the beginning of our relantionship and if he felt inclined towards a man I would want to know about it. At this point I have not been in that situation so who knows what would happen. Hopefully I would be able to stay true to my thoughts and willingness to be open about this matter.
