Would you ever date or be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by takeyourmark, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. takeyourmark

    takeyourmark Member

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    I'm interested about women's input here. Will you ever date or be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man? Knowing that he has the urge to be with a man also.

    And for men, would ever date or be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man knowing that he may want to end up with a woman in the end? And what's your opinion on bi women? For me it's attractive but what do you other guys think?
     
  2. sexplease

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    I won't date a "bisexual" man. That's not to say I wouldn't have sex with one if I know he were single.
    Statistically women are more apt to be bisexual whereas men tend to be gay or straight.
    Not ALL men or women fall into that, but studies show this.
    In my experience, men who are bi"curious", bisexual, or anything other than straight or gay, have tended to gravitate to one or - not and - the other.
     
  3. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

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    would ever date or be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man knowing that he may want to end up with a woman in the end?

    A relationship can be serious but polyamorous. No problem in such case with a bi man since I'm partnered and not looking to "end up in the end" with anyone else. But if single, would never waste a moment dreaming of a future with someone seriously ambivalent about spending his life with a male partner.
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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    I would not only date a bi-sexual man, but I would be ok with him having a boyfriend. As long as we were all monogamous. None of this bed jumping craziness. :) However it would have to be someone very special for me to be ok with this. I'm not saying I would date random guys and they could all have boyfriends. You are who you are and you love who you love. People cannot change themselves. I wouldn't want to change who I am. So I don't feel like I would have the right to change him. I would however want him to be upfront with me about his preferences from the beginning of our relantionship and if he felt inclined towards a man I would want to know about it. At this point I have not been in that situation so who knows what would happen. Hopefully I would be able to stay true to my thoughts and willingness to be open about this matter.
     
    #4 HiddenLacey, Jun 18, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2010
  5. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    No. Absolutely not. Not knowingly.

    This is because I have learned it's best to keep life as simple as possible. I accept that a heterosexual partner can bail at any time due to the temptations of another female (as I am a woman). But to double the number of temptations that my partner can encounter sounds like asking for more trouble than necessary.

    Moreoever, a guy who claims that he is bi.....how can that be certain. Maybe he is fucking me for something specific and just doesn't want to admit that his preference is really homo. It's bad enough dating a guy who is not sure which way he ultimately wants to go.
     
  6. alx

    alx
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    What about a bi guy that will only have a relationship with the opposite sex, and is faithful?

    Being a faithful straight guy is no different from a faithful bi guy.
     
  7. Northland

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    As a bisexual male, I have been with both male and female partners in LTRs. A relationship is based on trust and love for each other. If an ignorant, sanctimonious male or female can't get that into their head, then they're doomed no matter whatever gender they land with. I submit that they'll spend all their time watching their partner like a hawk, and complaining when they happen to glance at another. These people are thrilled that they can claim it's the other person being bisexual which makes the relationship not possible. They might want to try some truth= they're either too terrified of a relationship failing (for whatever reason) or they're possessive fools- possibly both.

    Homosexuals flee from bisexuals using the excuse, and heterosexuals do the same. Meanwhile both of those groups have affairs outside of their relationship- some on multiple occasions over several years- many even willing to have the affair with an unattached bisexual!

    A heterosexual or a homosexual is just as susceptible to the temptations as a bisexual.

    When I am in a relationship, I am with that person. If our particular relationship decides after conversation that bringing others in for 'enjoyment' is part of it, then that can happen. If they say no, then that is how I function. In the past, I have been with females who want monogamous and females who like to have another- male or female- brought in. The same has held true with male partners-some want it to be only us, some like an extra or 2 (or more) for dessert. I can operate either way, my partner being happy is what I want to deliver to the relationship.
     
  8. dolfette

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    i'm bi and i do mono,
    i have no reason to imagine bi men can't too.
    but i find it a turn off, so i wouldn't.
     
  9. g_whiz

    g_whiz New Member

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    For some reason 99 % of my OkCupid matches are bisexual men, and every guy I've met in my "real" life has been what I'd call "sliding scale" straight, that I've wound up with quasi romantically. Has any of those relationships been easy? No. I usually wind up getting pretty put through the metaphorical wringer, but under the right circumstances monogamy can exist within a relationship with a bisexual person. (or so I'm telling myself). It just hasn't to date.
     
  10. helgaleena

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    I am in one now. But it's an open relationship and will stay that way. I am bi too, you know :tongue: We must stay open minded and open hearted when we know out real selves.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    THANK YOU!!! :clap:

    Plus in addition, some of the same guys that I have seen express this "fear" would jump at the chance of a mmm 3some. So monogamy isn't the real concern.
     
  12. lulu79

    lulu79 New Member

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    No, I wouldn't. Simply put, I don't like to share and at some point it will become an issue. It's bad enough that the guys I've dated couldn't keep it in their pants when it came to other girls. I wouldn't want to add guys into that mix. So again, nope I wouldn't.
     
  13. DavidXL

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    If I were a gay man or a straight woman who wanted a monogamous relationship, I would not want to date a bisexual man, knowing what I know. I consider myself "mostly straight" (i.e., about 75 - 80% straight). I'm fully fulfilled on the straight part (i.e., married to a very hot woman), but the other 20 - 25% of me is usually unfulfilled. In a perfect world, I would live my straight life most of the time, but maybe 1 weekend a month have a boyfriend (i.e., someone with whom I emotionally and sexually connect). I don't see how that really works for anyone, including, probably, me.
     
  14. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    I absolutely would. A person is either trustworthy or they are not. Cheating is a choice, not a personality flaw. To be honest, I think that is just another ridiculous stereotype that people throw around. Sexuality indicates the risk of cheating as much as standing in a library makes you a book.
     
  15. NEWREBA

    NEWREBA New Member

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    This is really a sad commentary on men in particular and bisexuals generally. I think it's impossible to "keep life simple". To me life isn't simple. It's about taking chances and finding out what is valuable to me in my relationships. I also think that it's most important to trust my own instincts about men, and women for that matter. If I get to know another person and care about them I don't think second guessing them is a good basis for romance.

    I have had a relationship with a bisexual young man, and he is a lovely and sweet person. On top of that he is honest and passionate. It's just my opinion of course but I feel that the bisexual guys I know are so much more sensitive than most other men. :smile:
     
    #15 NEWREBA, Jun 20, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2010
  16. illtrynething

    illtrynething New Member

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    well that's extremely unfair,
    i'm a bisexual guy and i've noticed a lot stigma put on us for this reason.
    Yea, it's well known that men tend to be unfaithful a little more, but if it's in his nature, the adultery was gonna happen anyway. Why does it matter to you what gender it's with?
    From my experience (and i'm not saying this about you, only girls i've known before) this disdain for relationships with bisexual mean comes from an insecurity in themselves.
    If he's with you, his sexuality should have nothing to do with, he is spending his time with you.
    Also, the temptation is not doubled that would imply every guy was a threat as well, and apparently only 17% of men are inclined that way anyway, so if he's gonna cheat its more than likely gonna be with a women.
    Wow, i typed way more than i intended to
     
  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    Yes, I would. Twice I've been in long term monogamous relationships with bisexual men.
     
  18. houtx48

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    bi is just a stop on the road to gayville.
     
  19. petite

    petite New Member

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  20. B_Pitka

    B_Pitka New Member

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    I don't usually post here (or not much or seriously) but I'd like to express my anger at the lack of understanding of what bisexuality is.
    I consider myself bisexual. I've had meaningful sexual relationships with both men and women, but I've always been more involved with women. It might be because I find it difficult to find acceptance of my bisexuality and want to stick with the simplest denomination, or it might also be because I am naturally more comfortable with girls. I'm very anti-competitive, which has pushed me away from men all my life. I've only ever had a few male friends, usually one at a time, because I can't handle other men's manliness all that well.

    Now. Bisexuality (or rather MY bisexuality) is not some kind of intermittent sexual state of mind. I am not wandering helplessly between two sexualities. I have access to both sexualities, and what triggers me to go one or the other way is mysterious and often unexplainable.
    I have a girlfriend now, we have been together for 18 months and we are very much in love. She knows of my ventures into the other world, and she has confessed to being curious about it too. And this is what separates bisexuality from curiosity.

    Bisexuality is the capacity to engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships with either gender. That is what I do (although I've never felt romantic about men). It means that the difference between men and women basically disappears with regard to those things.
    It does mean that I have twice as many people to cheat with. But what is the difference between 3 or 6 billions. If you want to cheat, most likely you will cheat, whether it be because you feel dissatisfied or because you're an asshole.

    So to women who claim that bisexual men are more likely to cheat on you, you are just not thinking this through. Unless you live on an island with 15 people...

    The one issue I find there is with bisexuality is that one half of my sexuality is bound to be unavailable as long as I am with someone. It does not cause much frustration. I guess it's the same feeling some heterosexual men get when they see a hot girl on the street, like a small mental "fuck I wish I wasn't in a relationship". Other than a slight occasional frustration, it's all good.

    And then you can always discuss the matter with your partner. For example, I would not in a hundred years consider my sleeping with a boy cheating on my girlfriend. I would not feel guilt because it is so fundamentally different.
    But that's just me.



    So the point is (that might not have been clear)-

    Bisexuality is as solid of a sexual orientation as hetero- or homosexuality. It is not any more ambiguous or undecided. It is NOT the addition of hetero- and homosexuality into one sexuality, it is the LACK of distinction between the two, which is a huge difference.

    cf.

    Omnivorous people eat both vegetables and meat, but you don't consider them to be the sum of vegetarianism and carnivorism.

    Omnivorous ≠ vegetarian + carnivore
    but rather the lack of distinction between vegetarianism and carnivorism.

    Bisexual ≠ heterosexual + homosexual
    but rather the lack of distinction between hetero- and homosexuality.



    Those who think that real bisexuals don't exist might as well go read a book.
     
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