Would you ever date or be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man?

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Love is love
Sex is Sex

If he loves me and abides by whatever agreement we both come to i couldnt care less.

Ive sometimes fantasised about having a relationship with a purely str8 man who doese not find other males attractive but some-how feel in love with me and find me attractive purely becuase he loves me and think im the most bueitufll person on earth.

I find Bi-sexuality a turn on becuase to me it indicates some-one with an open mind that has not closed themselves off to any experience.

P.s Excuse my horrible typing its lat and i cant see the keys verry well

Agreed. I only have an interest in the terms of my partner's current relationship with me, not who or what he was sticking it to prior to our commitment. As long as his previous encounters were safe and legal, they are none of my concern.

I also prefer a partner that appreciates what's attractive about individuals, not sex, color, or anything else that's surface, and find that openness incredibly attractive.

If he left me for a man, it would hurt the same. Placing gender in there as a source of additional pain seems like a way to extend the misery. No offense to those who are still dealing with a loss.

 

[Pendlum]

My point is that this dude was using a stereotype about gay men: that they are "female".

Its seems to me that if a bi guy was really interested in "female", he would look for another woman, but, actually, I think the whole statement was as ignorant as shit.

Thanks for reading my first paragraph.

I think part of the reason of some women not wanting to date bi men (not counting just not finding it attractive) is how gay men and women are perceived. I'll try to explain my train of thought the best I can. And remember, this is perceived images, so I'd rather not hear a bunch people whining at me because "I'm gay and I don't acting like this" or blah blah blah.

So yes, I was using a stereotype, but apparently I didn't make it obvious enough to you that I KNOW THE STEREOTYPE ISN'T TRUE. Is it obvious now? I'll even do a short synopsis of my post. I am saying that some women may not like bisexual men because they believe in the stereotype, and therefore impacts their idea of bisexual men negatively.

 

[B_RedDude]

The earlier post was one of the most stupid things I have ever read.

Maybe you should keep your remarks limited to matters involving entirely straight people.

Thanks for reading my first paragraph.



So yes, I was using a stereotype, but apparently I didn't make it obvious enough to you that I KNOW THE STEREOTYPE ISN'T TRUE. Is it obvious now? I'll even do a short synopsis of my post. I am saying that some women may not like bisexual men because they believe in the stereotype, and therefore impacts their idea of bisexual men negatively.

 

[Pendlum]

Pffahahaha. Maybe you should try fully understanding what I was saying before jumping down my throat. If I really did believe that gay men are all feminine, you'd be right. But I don't. I apologize if I didn't make that clear in my post, I thought I did. In fact I made it clear that it was just me postulating how a woman might think or feel if that is how they perceived gay men, I didn't present it as fact. Or again, at least I thought I made that clear.

So I don't think it is stupid to think that SOME women, which is a word I used when I made the post, might be afraid of the possibility of losing their partner to another man, and that that might somehow hurt their psyche more. Is that really that stupid?

I'm interested how you interpreted my post, besides the obvious of that I think all gay men are feminine or "female" (which is clearly wrong).

 

[TomCat84]

Sweet Jesus- a shit load of ignorant people here

 

[closetbi]

Yea Pendlum keeps digging that grave over there. Yeah it is stupid. Why? K. When a relationship is starting, no one is thinking about how it's going to end. Also, when a woman is attracted to a man, it never matters if he's bisexual, straight, or gay. Women never even fucking know why they like men. I mean, I could tell you why, but they couldn't. If you're saying women aren't attacted to bisexual men because they think "bisexual, he'll leave me for a man, as a gay feminine man, and that'd be so much worse than him leaving me for a woman" in a moment, or even over a long collection of moments...uh you're full of shit and your argument is about this good.

 

[Pendlum]

So it's okay for you to say as fact "women can't tell you why they like men." And follow it up with the oh so juicy "but I can tell you why, but they couldn't." But MY statement is the ignorant full of shit one? Wow, just wow. At least I said SOME women, you just said women. Which is clearly something you missed about my post. And you didn't even get what I said right, of course.

If you're saying women aren't attacted to bisexual men because they think "bisexual, he'll leave me for a man, as a gay feminine man, and that'd be so much worse than him leaving me for a woman"

I almost hate to break it to you, but I specifically removed women who don't find bisexuality attractive from my hypothesis I guess you could call it. The word attraction wasn't used in my simple synopsis either. So no, I'm not saying what you said, because I never fucking said it. Hell, the OP didn't use the word attractive except to say that he finds bisexuals attractive. And I'm not saying all women think the way I hypothesized, I am saying SOME women MIGHT think that way. As in a minority, small group of them, not the norm, etc etc. I can't believe this is hard to understand. It's not as if I've made some puzzle out of it so in order to get it you need Sherlock Holmes and the ever lovable but mostly useless Watson to solve it.

You almost make an interesting point about how people supposedly don't think about someone's sexuality when they are starting a relationship. I want to stress the fact that you used the words "no one", as well. Firstly I would say maybe most people don't give it that much thought. Secondly this is about dating or being in a serious relationship, so there is more to it than just the beginning of the relationship. In fact some people hide their bisexuality from the partner's from fear of backlash. But let's stay with the beginning just for a moment. What if a guy let her know that he was bisexual in the beginning? Is there not a chance that she would reject him because of it? Unless you are a moron, you should concede that yes, there is that chance. Whether it be for my possible reason, or that they think that they cheat more than straight people. But the latter point was already made very early in this thread. I merely provided an alternative thought process for someone a woman who would say no to the question.

Apparently I'm not a very good gravedigger, since I seem to be on pretty level ground still. But at least I've got a shovel!

 

[B_RedDude]

Gee, I really wouldn't raise it to the level of calling it a thought process.

I merely provided an alternative thought process for someone a woman who would say no to the question.

 

[Pendlum]

Good job taking apart my post. Oh, that's right, you haven't done that. You just focused on a singular aspect of my post, and got offended because I used a stereotype as part of my explanation. I guess it is really bad to point out that some people actually believe stereotypes. I never said it was true, so it's not as if I was perpetuating or even condoning it.

And thanks for going into more depth about how you interpreted my post, champ. Oh wait, you didn't do that either.

 

[B_RedDude]

Dude, it was stupid of you to think (and write) that ANY chick would think what you suggested she might think.

Good job taking apart my post. Oh, that's right, you haven't done that. You just focused on a singular aspect of my post, and got offended because I used a stereotype as part of my explanation. I guess it is really bad to point out that some people actually believe stereotypes. I never said it was true, so it's not as if I was perpetuating or even condoning it.

And thanks for going into more depth about how you interpreted my post, champ. Oh wait, you didn't do that either.

 

[Pendlum]

Do you really think it is that unlikely? Or do you think that postulating about how other people may think is stupid? If so, I'm going to guess you're not a fan of sociology or psychology. I still don't think it is an unreasonable guess about how some women may feel at some point if they have issues with bisexual men. If you don't think that is possible, that's fine.

 

[closetbi]

What I'm saying is that the chance of a particular woman being the kind of woman you describe is much lower than the chance of the woman being like "oh, so maybe this guy isn't trying to get in my pants and we can be friends" leading to a good friendship off of which a good relationship may or may not be formed. I don't think the detail on it's own - one claiming they are bisexual early in a relationship will single-handedly ruin all chances of there being a serious relationship. With a bunch of other factors, maybe, but no, not on it's own. What if the man is everything she wants all the time, a perfect partner for her, and he says he's bisexual. You think she'll run away? Most likely not. The little crowd of people you're defending is so small their backs are touching.

 

[Pendlum]

Let's get this straight, I'm not defending them. I'm merely talking about them. I never said it was okay to reject someone who is bisexual because you think that they cheat more, or whatever.

 

[killerb]

I'll tell you what's ignorant about it. Being bisexual doesn't mean you have two personalities. It doesn't mean you're going to be most satisfied with a man AND woman. It simply means you CAN be satisfied by EITHER. So wtf? If I'm being satisfied (sexually or otherwise) by someone, I don't really need anyone else. People who sleep around will sleep around. If they're bisexual they'll sleep around with both sexes. The orientation of the person has absolutely NO correlation with their faithfulness or ability to maintain relationships.

It's fucking ignorant because this thread is coming across like a bisexual thinks "oh now that i'm getting pussy, i need to get some dick" and that he's never satisfied. IMO anyone who has labeled themselves bisexual for a sustained period of time has a pretty good understanding of him or herself.

Shit, I'd rather have a girl who mentions how hot some chick looks every now and then then the kind of girl that would sweep it under the rug and get anxious about homoseuxuality.

was this a response to my question to Petite?

If so, it has nothing to do with what I said.

 

[D_6yuhj]

bi is just a stop on the road to gayville.

I agree with you a 100%

 

[mandoman]

that's news to me.
I've known I was bi since I hit puberty, and was attracted to both sexes.
I've only had one woman. I fell in love with her at 13, and we're still married.
We had three kids together. We made love this morning.
At what point do I hit gaysville? I'm 56, 57 in a couple of months.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

I'm having a bit of this problem at the moment. The guy approached me, invited me out to spend a Saturday with him and the whole time he was texting someone. I usually don't care but his texting was almost excessive. When I asked he told me it was his girlfriend! WTF? Now he's asking me if I want to go to the sauna with him this Saturday and that he learned massage and if I'm interested in getting a massage some time! He's a nice guy but what do you do?

 

[petite]

that's news to me.
I've known I was bi since I hit puberty, and was attracted to both sexes.
I've only had one woman. I fell in love with her at 13, and we're still married.
We had three kids together. We made love this morning.
At what point do I hit gaysville? I'm 56, 57 in a couple of months.

That's so romantic!

You realize that some people in this thread assume that you've probably been cheating on your wife with men during your entire relationship since you've admitted to being bisexual? I had no idea that there was that kind of stereotype about bisexual men until I read this thread.

I'm having a bit of this problem at the moment. The guy approached me, invited me out to spend a Saturday with him and the whole time he was texting someone. I usually don't care but his texting was almost excessive. When I asked he told me it was his girlfriend! WTF? Now he's asking me if I want to go to the sauna with him this Saturday and that he learned massage and if I'm interested in getting a massage some time! He's a nice guy but what do you do?

Have you asked him if they have an open relationship? Some people are polyamorous. They might be.

 

[11creations]

no way...i don't think it would be fair if i'll have to compete with men!

 

[closetbi]

I don't see it as competing...or me having 2x options. I've been in many relationships both serious and not, and what I look for is so particular, that I'll never find it if I exclude people merely because of their gender. I have the ability to love anyone, in any way.