Would you ever have sex with an HIV+ person?

[439952]

No way! Are you crazy? NO sex is worth getting HIV/AIDS and having to go on horrible medications for the rest of your life. I know people will say that condoms work but condoms do break and I have no desire to use condoms every single time I have sex and eventually I would either stop using them or I'd slip up once and not use one and knowing my luck I would get HIV.

 

[onewatcher]

Interesting post. Just learned today a friend of a friend found out he was positive.

My reply, being a medical professional, is, I would rather learn I was HIV + than to learn I have a glioblastoma, or other types of agressive cancer, which require extensive surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy.

With the advent of HIV drugs that are realitively mild, causing little to no side effects, increasing a good lifestyle potential of decades, it is not the horrid disease of the 1980's.

I am not making lite of the illness, but, it is an illness that with proper education, safer and smarter sexual practices, it is a disease that one can prevent. CANCER is not! No amount of education, sexual practice ect. can prevent it. Smart lifestyles can "help" prevent it, but, genetics also plays an important part, same with heart disease. I fear these more that HIV.

Now to answer the question. If I fell in love with a person with HIV I would have no problem with it. I would be smart,and safe with my sexual activities.

This is not the dark ages folks, and we aren't talking about Black Plaque here.

People with HIV desire, need and deserve love/sex too.

OC you said it very well. You are educated in the topic at hand, and a person with HIV would be blessed to find a friend/partner like you.

It's 2009 folks. Before you make blank statements like HELL NO, NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT, educate yourselves.. If you make statements like this, you probably aren't educated on the subject at hand, and are not practicing the latest safer sex practices. We are developing newer, safer ways all the time which can allow everyone the ability to have a great,fear free sex life.

 

[440104]

Interesting post. Just learned today a friend of a friend found out he was positive.

My reply, being a medical professional, is, I would rather learn I was HIV + than to learn I have a glioblastoma, or other types of agressive cancer, which require extensive surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy.

With the advent of HIV drugs that are realitively mild, causing little to no side effects, increasing a good lifestyle potential of decades, it is not the horrid disease of the 1980's.

I am not making lite of the illness, but, it is an illness that with proper education, safer and smarter sexual practices, it is a disease that one can prevent. CANCER is not! No amount of education, sexual practice ect. can prevent it. Smart lifestyles can "help" prevent it, but, genetics also plays an important part, same with heart disease. I fear these more that HIV.

Now to answer the question. If I fell in love with a person with HIV I would have no problem with it. I would be smart,and safe with my sexual activities.

This is not the dark ages folks, and we aren't talking about Black Plaque here.

People with HIV desire, need and deserve love/sex too.

OC you said it very well. You are educated in the topic at hand, and a person with HIV would be blessed to find a friend/partner like you.

It's 2009 folks. Before you make blank statements like HELL NO, NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT, educate yourselves.. If you make statements like this, you probably aren't educated on the subject at hand, and are not practicing the latest safer sex practices. We are developing newer, safer ways all the time which can allow everyone the ability to have a great,fear free sex life.

The meds and their side effects do not sound too fun to me. The medications also seem like they are very toxic to the body and while they may help against the HIV/AIDS they have horrible side effects. Also they do not always work or keep working for everyone. Yes people do die from AIDS still. Side Effects of HIV or Medications - The Body Managing Long-Term Side of Effects of HIV Therapy - The Body Side Effects Chart - The Body Avoiding and Managing Side Effects - The Body

 

[jdoe86]

Ugh... the sheer ignorance and naivete of some people.

With so many people in the world with the HIV virus, it's ridiculous for anyone who is sexually active and is not exclusive to one partner to assume that they never have slept with or had sex with someone who is positive. So it doesn't really matter if you would do it or not... you probably already have!

Threads like this always hide some hidden agenda, whereas the people who are so against the idea of having sex with someone HIV+ want their partners to be negative so that they, themselves, don't have to worry about their own indiscretions and responsibilities in the bedroom. I mean, really... is it the end of the world if someone suggests that you use a condom or a dental dam when having oral sex? One of the hottest guys I ever blown in my life wore a condom, and I would have no problem watching him wrap himself up time and time again before engaging in another session. Plus I'm sure some people on this board have had their mouths in places that are more controversial than a piece of rubber. Also, I know friends who have been in mixed status relationships for years and the partner is still negative.

If anything, just be responsible for yourself and be wary of your partner. If (s)he's good enough to fuck, (s)he's also good enough to protect.

Anyone you meet could have HIV. So many people don't get tested because they don't want to know if they have it... I get tested every 6 months no matter what type of relationship I am in (monogamous or not) because that one person I had unprotected sex with years ago could have infected me and the virus has stay dormant.

 

[440104]

Anyone you meet could have HIV. So many people don't get tested because they don't want to know if they have it... I get tested every 6 months no matter what type of relationship I am in (monogamous or not) because that one person I had unprotected sex with years ago could have infected me and the virus has stay dormant.

The HIV tests are reliable. I get one too since I have multiple female partners. When someone becomes infected with HIV, the antibody test (ELISA plus Western blot) turns positive within several weeks for most people. When it is said that the virus is dormant, this means that it does not cause illness for a lengthy period of time. However, it is not dormant in many other ways. The virus reproduces itself in huge numbers (hundreds of million of copies). Also, the immune system responds to the infection in various ways, including by producing antibodies, which are detected by the ELISA and Western blot tests. You would also have signs that you have HIV or that your immune system is compromised by now. Primary HIV Infection - The Body Are you a highly promiscuous person or something? Or do you frequently have sex without condoms?

 

[441771]

No way! It's too much risk for little gain. NO sex is worth the fact that you may get HIV as condoms do fail, you can get HIV from giving oral sex, and there is such a thing as safer sex, being selective in your partners, and getting tested and not exposing yourself to HIV by having sex with people who are Poz.

 

[441771]

Honestly, how many people on here complain about how people believe the things said by political parties or politicians, and then attack anyone who even mentions they might not use a condom every single time they ever have sex, even with a regular partner? How many believe this stuff so strongly they think they can just go screw anything that breathes and they're invincible because they're "always safe", yet are still at risk for the majority of STDs including incurable ones like herpes, HPV, and hepatitis? How many insist on condoms every time for anal or vaginal sex, claiming that the risk is too high without one, but then claim "oral isn't that risky" and don't bother with condoms then and yet swallow and get cum in their mouth? How many haven't checked the footnotes on that "99% effective" on the box and noticed it says "vs pregnancy only"? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying throw them out. Condoms do reduce your chances of contracting STDs. Unless you're fucking someone who's got a latex allergy that causes them to tear and begin bleeding profusely, in which case things are then actually worse. Then you're up into sharing needles levels of dangerous. But while they do reduce chances, they most certainly aren't foolproof. They aren't anywhere near it. But a lot of people seem to have bought this brainwashing constructed by politicians that were pressured to "Do Something! (TM)" to look good wholesale, and no longer care about being selective in partners. How many of you ask someone if they have an STD first? Or do you just roll one on and have at it, figuring hey you'll be fine? Ever ask someone if they're allergic? Do you carry an extra non-latex one in case you run into someone? Usually I don't even bother posting rants like this, because the responses usually come as flames intended to be loud enough so that all the people who don't want to hear it can continue sticking their fingers in their ears and going "La la la la I can't hear you!" That way they can pretend there's nothing to be afraid of and can be as promiscuous as they want, then point fingers at someone else if something bad ever happens, because it can't be their fault if they were always safe like they were taught, like good little boys and girls. It's like trying to tell an alcoholic that smoking pot daily isn't as harmful as their nightly binge drinking.

 

[B_Monster]

Again, 40% of the people with hiv don't know it so, most of you have probably been exposed and don't know it, scarey huh?

 

[B_VinylBoy]

Honestly, how many people on here complain about how people believe the things said by political parties or politicians, and then attack anyone who even mentions they might not use a condom every single time they ever have sex, even with a regular partner?

Well, let's see. Arguing over whether or not Sotomayor is a racist, if Sanford is a hypocrite or if Biden is just Palin dressed up as a Drag King doesn't risk the potential of obtaining a life threatening disease that can be spread to others through sexual activity. The issue is not whether or not one uses condoms or not, it's about whether you would have sex (of any kind) with someone who is POZ. And most people on this board have had some kind of relation to a positive person whether they know it or not... especially if they live in a major city.

How many insist on condoms every time for anal or vaginal sex, claiming that the risk is too high without one, but then claim "oral isn't that risky" and don't bother with condoms then and yet swallow and get cum in their mouth?

Well, in a latest flyer I saw from GMHC they stated that the chances of getting HIV from oral sex rise when one keeps ejaculation in their mouth for an extensive period of time. That's because any potential cuts in the mouth will be around the gum line or right around the inner cheek areas. So, if someone actually shoots in your mouth, you're either supposed to spit it out or swallow as fast as possible. One, of course, being more safer than the other.

How many of you ask someone if they have an STD first?

It's safe to say that most people when meeting someone at a bar for a one night stand or a quick hook up, this question NEVER passes their lips.

Or do you just roll one on and have at it, figuring hey you'll be fine? Ever ask someone if they're allergic? Do you carry an extra non-latex one in case you run into someone?

Some people don't even bother with the latex variety because of potential allergic reactions. Personally, I still enjoy sex regardless if the condom is latex or not. But to save time and headaches I stick to the non-latex brands.

That way they can pretend there's nothing to be afraid of and can be as promiscuous as they want, then point fingers at someone else if something bad ever happens, because it can't be their fault if they were always safe like they were taught, like good little boys and girls.

I don't think anyone on this board is naive enough to believe that condoms=indestructible. We all know that the only way not to get HIV or an STD is to not have sex, and that's not happening anytime soon. And promiscuity varies from person to person and how they value sex. Some "holier than thou" people would find anyone who would have sex before their even married, even with one person, to be wrong and perverted. Some people would look at the average number of partners a single gay man living in Manhattan would have and think they're nothing but a bunch of dogs. Some watch Maury and see the heterosexual male who has 10 kids between 3 or 4 women taking paternity tests and paint him as the picture of promiscuity. IMO, people need to stop pretending that by screening everyone beforehand that they can eliminate their chances of having sex with someone who is positive, or treating the act as if it's some kind of dangerous stunt more risky than skydiving or riding a loop coaster without safety belts.

 

[441771]

Again, 40% of the people with hiv don't know it so, most of you have probably been exposed and don't know it, scarey huh?

That's why there is such a thing as being selective in your sexual partners, doing safer/very low risk sex and getting tested, talking about sexual history, and then getting tested again. You are much less likely to get HIV if you do this and have an actual monogamous relationship as opposed to an open relationship or a relationship where both people cheat but do not talk about it. People should have a choice about their sexual partners, many people agree that it is just way too risky in their opinion to be having even safe sex with someone who is Poz. How many people here in the heat of the moment with a regular partner did not use a condom or have swallowed their partner's cum?

 

[Dashel123]

It really depends on the relationship I share with the person with HIV.

If the person was special to me and told me they had HIV I would be alarmed, but not so much as running for hills but wondering where we go from here and In all honesty I'd be probably be more worried about their health and well being before even thinking, shit, I should probably get tested.

If its some random on the street I would say no.

No to the sex but not necessarily no to anything else.

 

[441873]

I have before. Would I do it now? Well no I would not. It made me nervous and even though we did use condoms I still always worried in the back of my mind stuff like, "What if I got HIV from him?"

 

[BoxersguyNJ]

my answer is NO-NO-NO HELL NO !!!!

 

[splitface]

ONLY EVER if I was also guaranteed + as well.

 

[FuzzyKen]

Let's remember here: The Question: "Would you ever have sex with an HIV+ person?"

The question does not allow qualification of the answer in the way that it is phrased.

The question does not define sex acts and what constitutes sex.


Keeping that in mind and giving an answer in total generalities I would with little hesitation give the answer of "yes", and "of course".

If the question were, instead: Would you risk your health by having unsafe sex with an hiv sero-positive individual, the answer would be very different.

I am also qualifying this as HIV only and not including many other far more transmissible conditions.

HIV is not all that easy to get and transmission of the HIV retrovirus is easy to prevent with both people involved having a jolly old time.

If you "j/o" with an HIV sero-positive individual you are technically having sex with them. If you do "frot" with them you are having sex with them. Neither one of these activities can transmit the HIV virus. There is so very much you can do, why do people consider only a couple of acts to be the only things available in having sex?

When a person is HIV sero-positive their lives do not stop. They can laugh, love, and they can have their feelings hurt based on uneducated rejection.

I am 56 years old, HIV sero-negative, and I for a time in my life before my marriage dated numerous HIV sero-positve men and enjoyed my times with all of them. There are many "mixed couples" meaning mixed HIV status and many of those couples have very active sex lives. You simply avoid the very few conditions that can facilitate transmission of the virus.

 

[nooboob]

naw cmon man be real here

 

[hotasmen]

How can you not have had sex with someone who has HIV in this day and age? I have dated, loved and indeed had sex with more than a few someones who had HIV; and i'm still negative. The problem is not that my partners had HIV, rather that I was armed with the right information about the disease, and i was. I know how HIV is typically transmitted and what not to do to put myself at risk. The other thing is this; in order to get HIV you really have to be doing some hard core fucking..i mean some hardcore fucking. There also has to be some opening in or near the anus that will allow for the disease to enter the body. Remember, we are talking about a blood transmitted disease..this is not airborne or transmitted through coughing or eating bad food. You have to actually really kind of be working hard to get HIV and that's the part no one talks about...it's not as easily transmitted as one might think. Having said all of this i am sure someone will offer testimony of someone who caught HIV by simply having "vanilla" sex and it just happened. And to that i would say...." you probably either didn't get the whole story or were lied to". It's not easy to get HIV or AIDS.

 

[442304]

How can you not have had sex with someone who has HIV in this day and age? I have dated, loved and indeed had sex with more than a few someones who had HIV; and i'm still negative. The problem is not that my partners had HIV, rather that I was armed with the right information about the disease, and i was. I know how HIV is typically transmitted and what not to do to put myself at risk. The other thing is this; in order to get HIV you really have to be doing some hard core fucking..i mean some hardcore fucking. There also has to be some opening in or near the anus that will allow for the disease to enter the body. Remember, we are talking about a blood transmitted disease..this is not airborne or transmitted through coughing or eating bad food. You have to actually really kind of be working hard to get HIV and that's the part no one talks about...it's not as easily transmitted as one might think. Having said all of this i am sure someone will offer testimony of someone who caught HIV by simply having "vanilla" sex and it just happened. And to that i would say...." you probably either didn't get the whole story or were lied to". It's not easy to get HIV or AIDS.

This is total bullshit. You can get HIV from giving oral sex, from vanilla sex, and you can get it from anal sex and one does not have to work hard in order to get HIV and you can get it from having sex once with someone who is Poz. Also it does not matter if the person is on meds or if they are undetectable as you can get it from them anyway. Try telling all of this dangerous bullshit you wrote and sadly believe to people who are Poz or people who have died from AIDS. You are just like one of those bullshit HIV/AIDS denialists when you say how you can't get HIV from any vanilla sex. Wise up son and realize that there is no such thing as safe sex as it all carries risk. I know people who have gotten Pozzed from giving oral sex. No they are not lying and I know the guys got it from sucking cock since they are not into anal sex at all and find anal sex to be disgusting and do not engage in it. Men can get HIV from women, women can get it from men, and men can give it to each other, and women can give it to each other. Anal sex tops can get it from sex, anal sex bottoms can get it from sex, FistFuck givers can become POZ, FistFuck receivers can become POZ, people who do BDSM can become POZ, people who engage in only heterosexual sex can become POZ and many are getting it this way, people who engage in only oral sex can become POZ (several of my friends became HIV+ this way), and you can become Poz from rimming and being rimmed too as well as getting Hepatitis. You can even get HIV without ever having had sex and some people are born with it and some people get it from IV drug use. Way to be a fucking idiot. Have you been living under a rock for the past 25 years or so? You have admitted that you are a bug chaser and have sex with HIV+ men I feel bad for people like you. Try selling your bullshit somewhere else like VirusMyth.com where you will probably agree with all of the bullshit that gets written about HIV there.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

This is total bullshit. You can get HIV from giving oral sex, from vanilla sex,

Ummmmm... vanilla sex?
And although there is risk from oral sex, it's not nearly as high as unprotected anal.

and you can get it from anal sex and one does not have to work hard in order to get HIV and you can get it from having sex once with someone who is Poz.

And you could benefit from a few extra commas... but I digress. :biggrin1:

Also it does not matter if the person is on meds or if they are undetectable as you can get it from them anyway.

Who cares? The whole idea is to cut down the risk of transmission. There's no way anyone of us can even try to claim that every partner they've ever been with has been negative. That is, unless, you actually think everyone you've ever kissed, made out with, or had a one night stand has told you the truth about their HIV status... which in this day and age is insanely naive, considering the huge number of people who don't even know their status.

Try telling all of this dangerous bullshit you wrote and sadly believe to people who are Poz or people who have died from AIDS. You are just like one of those bullshit HIV/AIDS denialists when you say how you can't get HIV from any vanilla sex. Wise up son and realize that there is no such thing as safe sex as it all carries risk. I know people who have gotten Pozzed from giving oral sex. No they are not lying and I know the guys got it from sucking cock since they are not into anal sex at all and find anal sex to be disgusting and do not engage in it. Men can get HIV from women, women can get it from men, and men can give it to each other, and women can give it to each other. Anal sex tops can get it from sex, anal sex bottoms can get it from sex, FistFuck givers can become POZ, FistFuck receivers can become POZ, people who do BDSM can become POZ, people who engage in only heterosexual sex can become POZ and many are getting it this way, people who engage in only oral sex can become POZ (several of my friends became HIV+ this way), and you can become Poz from rimming and being rimmed too as well as getting Hepatitis. You can even get HIV without ever having had sex and some people are born with it and some people get it from IV drug use. Way to be a fucking idiot. Have you been living under a rock for the past 25 years or so? You have admitted that you are a bug chaser and have sex with HIV+ men I feel bad for people like you. Try selling your bullshit somewhere else like VirusMyth.com where you will probably agree with all of the bullshit that gets written about HIV there.

If he's been living under a rock for the last 25 years, you've apparently been living in a plastic bubble.

 

[442304]

Ummmmm... vanilla sex?
And although there is risk from oral sex, it's not nearly as high as unprotected anal.



And you could benefit from a few extra commas... but I digress. :biggrin1:



Who cares? The whole idea is to cut down the risk of transmission. There's no way anyone of us can even try to claim that every partner they've ever been with has been negative. That is, unless, you actually think everyone you've ever kissed, made out with, or had a one night stand has told you the truth about their HIV status... which in this day and age is insanely naive, considering the huge number of people who don't even know their status.



If he's been living under a rock for the last 25 years, you've apparently been living in a plastic bubble.

Actually yes I do know the status of every partner who I have had sex with. They have all been negative and we get tested before sex, then get tested 6 months later all while doing safer sex and using condoms. I stay in contact with all of my ex partners and current partners, as I only have sex with people who I get in relationships with, and I'm not highly promiscuous and I have never had a one night stand or a hook up with a complete stranger. It only takes one viral cell, so undetectable doesn't mean viral-free. If you are HIV Neg and want to stay HIV Neg continue to do safer sex and avoid having sex with people who are HIV POZ. Vanilla sex includes sex acts like oral sex and anal sex, look up the definition of it. Yes you can get HIV from giving oral sex. Low risk does not equal zero risk. Try telling my friend that he did not get HIV from giving oral sex and that he's lying, that it's statistically impossible, or that he really got fucked and is lying and stay ignorant.