Would you ever have sex with an HIV+ person?

[B_VinylBoy]

Actually yes I do know the status of every partner who I have had sex with. They have all been negative and we get tested before sex, then get tested 6 months later all while doing safer sex and using condoms. I stay in contact with all of my ex partners and current partners, as I only have sex with people who I get in relationships with, and I'm not highly promiscuous and I have never had a one night stand or a hook up with a complete stranger.

You've tested them yourself, I presume? Or are you just taking them for their word? Have you gone to the clinic with everyone of your potential partners? Promiscuity doesn't even factor into the equation since one can get the virus from their very first encounter, although it's great for some to stereotype in order to paint the projected "evil image" of an HIV+ person.

Somehow, the thought of someone not having one night stands (intentional or not) in the gay community doesn't wash with me, but just like your partners I'll take you at your word. :wink:

It only takes one viral cell, so undetectable doesn't mean viral-free.

I don't need the biology lesson here, but thank you.

If you are HIV Neg and want to stay HIV Neg continue to do safer sex and avoid having sex with people who are HIV POZ.

Sounds great in theory, but more than 40% of people don't even know their status. I'm not naive enough to believe that all of my precautions have enabled me to stay negative up to this point. As a gay man who has always lived in the city all my life, it's ridiculous to even assume otherwise. I know that there's been some luck involved. I have sex, therefore I put myself at risk even when I use condoms. What I don't understand is how some people, including yourself, are so sure that you haven't already been exposed? If that's the case, and you engage in safe activities, then why should it even matter that your partners are negative or not?

Vanilla sex includes sex acts like oral sex and anal sex, look up the definition of it. Yes you can get HIV from giving oral sex. Low risk does not equal zero risk.

However, you're trying to live your life and preach to others how to somehow achieve that mystical, unachievable number of zero. You should be more honest with yourself and realize that as much as you think you know about your partners, you have no idea whether or not you've already been exposed.

Try telling my friend that he did not get HIV from giving oral sex and that he's lying,

I wouldn't... I'm not that ignorant.
However, where did I ever say that you couldn't get HIV from oral? I never even suggested that. All I stated that it's lower risk than some other sexual activities.

that it's statistically impossible, or that he really got fucked and is lying and stay ignorant.

Trust me, dear... one of my last lovers of 5+ years was positive and somehow after many years of hot sex I'm still negative. I could teach you a few things about prevention which doesn't require you to walk around in a state of self-imposed paranoia on the subject matter. And yes, he's still alive, healthy and happy.

 

[WatchStr8Sex]

I am a Dr. A specialist in HIV and infectious diseases medicine and YES, I have had sex with someone who is HIV+ and I was safe and did not risk my safety at any stage.

I am very comfortable having sex with someone who is HIV+ and if you don't then never have sex because there will always be people who will not tell you of their positive HIV status. You should assume all people you have sex with are HIV+ and behave accordingly

 

[B_VinylBoy]

I am very comfortable having sex with someone who is HIV+ and if you don't then never have sex because there will always be people who will not tell you of their positive HIV status. You should assume all people you have sex with are HIV+ and behave accordingly

Wiser words haven't been said on this thread. :wink:

 

[dombear]

Oh C'mon people, if you've had sex with multiple partners, no doubt you've had sex with a Poz person. HIV is so ingrained within the population, that it's unavoidable. Going by what the person says is completely foolish, people lie.

The truth is that HIV is a an instant turn off for some people, and to come out and say it outright would not guarantee a root. Safe sex is not completely foolproof but it's better than the alternative. I have no doubt had sex with someone who is Poz without my knowledge, but I've played safe and thus have not been infected. Sure it's a risk, but I play safe with everyone, and don't assume that they are clean. At the end of the day, my health is my priority, and I'm not going to put it in the hands of anyone other than myself.

 

[bigbadger]

This is a redundant thread because I think that most of can agree on "Hell No!!!"

Whether it is redundant or not is not important. Sure most people would probably say hell no, but I personally am not interested in that. In my mind just saying this is "redundant" and dismissing it so easily is skipping the opportunity to have the all important discussion concerning HIV, AIDS, and safer sex.

I am glad whoever started this thread chose to do so and I wish more people would open doors to conversations about this topic. I am not only talking about here, but I wish this would happen more in real life as well. I still think too many people have the attitude that it will never happen to them and then choose to act irresponsibly sexually. And I hope we all by now know it can happen to anyone and everyone, and even if you are practicing safer sex.

The ignorance/naivety/lack of knowledge many people still have about this is astounding in many respects. So while I understand what you were getting at with your comment, I hope we do not squash what has turned into a great discussion and opportunity to educate.

 

[Kayden96]

Not knowingly, no.

I also wouldn't look down a loaded gun even though the safety was on. I wouldn't piss on an electric fence because someone told me the power was off.

I have protected sex until we both get tested. I learned my lesson a long time ago. I was with a girl for a few months and we decided we could have sex without condoms. Well, after that, she was raped (by a cop to boot :rage: ) and never told me. So my dick starts itching and it turns out I've got gonorrhea. Score! I confronted her about it and she freaked out. I never wanted to beat someone so badly as I did that day, both him for doing it and her for being so fucking stupid to not tell me.

I'm just fucking grateful it was something that could be fixed with a pill for a week.

 

[444099]

It's 2009, anyone who has unprotected anal or vaginal sex in this world, especially Anal or Vaginal sex without proof that both partners are HIV-negative is an idiot. A selfish idiot because when you die, you don't die alone, you pull all of your friends and family and loved ones into the almost unwatchable painful, messy drama of your slow death from AIDS. The guys and women who already have HIV and act like it's OK to bareback with other POZ people are insane and have death wishes. Of all the ways to die in America in the first part of the 21st Century-Industrial poisoning, cancer from radiation, nuclear meltdown, drive by death, drug overdose, spousal abuse-HIV/AIDS is the last one I would choose. It's an appalling death. Everybody seems to be forgetting that. It isn't like a Tom Hanks movie-you don't get hugged by Antinio Banderas and gently expire while Joanne Wooodward weeps for you in a corner. It takes forever, and you won't win an oscar for putting yourself through it. Instead you'll turn into a skeleton slowly, achingly, over time, and lose your job, your money, your lovers, your eyesight, your appetite, your bowel control, your memory, your mind. You'll rage and scream, you'll alienate all of your friends and family and ruin their love for you and destroy your regard for yourself. I would rather step on a landmine in Vietnam and die with my body parts hanging in a tree. I can live with a condom.

 

[444099]

The best way NOT to get HIV is to practice safer sex, use condoms, get tested, and do not knowingly have even protected sex with people who are POZ.

 

[D_Mac_D_Nife]

of course man...no one wants to do that. Just use your judgement...if you're going to go down...then make sure you dont have any open sores in your mouth... or even JUST brushed teeth...anything that can make your mouth bleed. Oh and don't swallow...

Before anyone else says it, I'll call myself ignorant here - but I'm respectfully asking this in order to inform myself and maybe a few others, not just to be a contrary ass. I've never understood the "don't swallow" thing.

It's okay to let a guy shoot in your mouth as long as you spit MOST of it out? In all reality, isn't it fair to say that the moment his cum floods your mouth it's going to coat your cheeks and tongue, mix with saliva and some of it is going to get swallowed? Even if you do your best to spit out all you can I don't see that you can avoid swallowing SOME. What is the difference in swallowing the complete load?

 

[Symphonic]

No. It's just unnecessary risk.

 

[445247]

Nope. It's way too risky and I know men who have gotten HIV even though they were using condoms and having safer sex.

 

[chiasmj]

Yes, I have.

When I was in my early teens, I had fairly low self esteem and didn't worry about protection. I believed that the men I was with would respect me enough to tell me about any potential STDs, and that if they didn't say anything, I didn't have to worry. I had a lot of unprotected sex, but was lucky and very rarely got any STDs. I got tested for HIV on an irregular basis back then, and was always deathly afraid of the test results, but I didn't let that stop me from unsafe sex.

Later on I finally realized that it was my responsibility to take care of myself and nobody was going to do that for me, and I stopped that risky behavior. I was very lucky and only had one scare (a boyfriend of mine got a false positive on the ELISA test, but it was all cleared up with the Western Blot).

Then I met my current boyfriend. We got to know each other pretty well before having sex for the first time, and before we even left for my place, he told me he was positive. The way I see it, I "deserved" to be positive as well because of my past risky behavior, so how could I turn this guy I was falling in love with away for something that I myself should be carrying?

I'd love to say that we have been safe every time, but that's not true. About three times early on in the relationship we didn't use condoms during anal sex. I've been tested since (well past six months of the even) and again, was very lucky. But I do not play Russian roulette with my health anymore; anal sex is always with condoms. I do not personally worry about contracting HIV with oral sex; I've decided that is an acceptable risk.

People with HIV are still people. The medical technology for transmission prevention is cheap and readily available. Life has risks, and each person has to choose for themselves what risks they will avoid, and what risks are worth taking. For me, it's a no brainer that safe anal sex is mandatory with all partners, and because of my decision, their HIV status does not matter to me.

j

 

[445358]

No I would not and I have not. I met my partner long before HIV/AIDS and we have been together for 30 years, are both HIV Negative, and are monogamous. I was only with one other guy before I met my partner and he was a virgin like I was. Viral loads can fluxuate/change rapidly and just because someone is on tons of HIV meds it doesn't mean that other Poz/Neg person they are with won't become HIV+ or get another strain of HIV or pass another strain of HIV to the other HIV+ person if they are Poz. If you want to go and have sex with people who are HIV+ nobody is stopping you but when you wind up HIV+ you'll only have yourself to blame. People who are HIV neg and knowingly have sex with HIV poz people are into risky sex, playing with fire, and they've got a death wish and are probably bug chasers even if they do repress it or don't even realize it themselves, or want to admit it. I know it's not PC to say this but it's true and HIV does equal a slow horrible death no matter how many toxic medications you take that harm your body (the meds while they might be good for combating HIV and keeping the TCell count from lowering are VERY bad to take), and the best way not to get HIV is not to have sex with Poz people or share needles if you IV drugs. When are the HIV poz people going to realize that the only way to rid our planet of this scourge is for them, as a group, to take the matter into their own hands and refuse to engage in sexual activity with anyone who is not HIV poz, ever, for any reason? Why cannot HIV+ people not recognize the power they have to make a great contribution to humanity by declaring that they will not, under any circumstance, engage in any behavior that carries with it the possibility of HIV transmission to another human being? Why is it that Poz people do not feel incredible remorse when engaging in behavior that carries this risk? Why is it that they are willing to serve only their desires and are willing to engage in sexual activity with anyone who does not question whether the risk of HIV transmission is present? Also let's not forget about how many people who are HIV+ also have Hepatitis C and how easily that can be transmitted to others. This troubles me greatly. I used to feel nothing but compassion for those with HIV, but the longer that I am exposed to their reckless behavior, the less I am able to hold compassion in my heart. I even know people who are HIV+ who don't tell others that they are when they have sex with them, even when they're asked by the other person/people, or when the other person/people want to swallow them or bareback them. I know Poz people who still bareback/swallow and don't care how many strains of HIV they get or pass onto others, and I even know HIV+ people who are involved in HIV educational centers and non profit orgs where they tell people how important it is to get tested and use condoms, yet they are all into bug chasing/breeding/"gift" giving and are totally cool with letting people gang fuck their ass every weekend and flood it with load after load. You can get HIV from giving oral sex, and swallowing or having semen in your mouth is high risk for HIV; but it's not as risky as unprotected receptive anal sex or sharing a rig/works (needles) with an HIV+ person. Also just because someone is on medications it doesn't mean that your chances for gettting HIV are completely eliminated or that you can't get it from giving oral sex without or with swallowing, since viral loads can go up unexpectedly when someone is on meds. Yes PEP (the post exposure meds) are available but the side effects suck and you have to take them for months and it's no gaurentee that you won't become HIV+.

 

[engorged]

i feel that people who express their opinion to not knowingly have sex with an HIV+ person are validly caring for themselves...whilst a lot of fear & prejudice does come into play, not wanting to take a risk is a function of looking after oneself. This is not a bad expression.

Some do wrap themselves in cotton wool, which only detracts from their experiences. But, I guess you dont know what your missing if you havent experienced it in the first place...

 

[BBB2.5]

I did not read any of the posts, I just had to jump right in and give my point of view.
Any person who chooses to engage in any type of sexual act with another person, be it male or female. Should in deed be using a condom. Let's get real here. There are a huge number that do not even think about it. To those that do , you are the smart ones. In today's world we all know we should be using them (condoms). Not just for protection against HIV, but all the other horrible things that a person can get from unprotected sex.
We cannot control how we feel about at that moment when we decide we are going to have sex with someone. Do people really ask, before engaging " are you clean, safe...positive/negative???? Most often the answer will be NO
So , with that said. What does it matter? If your going to have sex, your going to have regardless of the circumstance...right? I just can't see a person putting their clothes back on, and leaving. All because they found out right at that moment that this could be a bad thing. We all take chances with our own lives, not just with having sex.
If you want to be happy and engage in a healthy sex life. Then use condoms every time. It's that simple.
I have been HIV+ for 17 years. How I got it, well it's a long story, but I can sum it up with this. I got it the FIRST TIME I EVER had sex. Not at that moment, but later in our relationship. He cheated on me, after we had been together for 4 years. I did not know until our Th year. That's when I got sick and tested positive. I left him and moved on with my life. Never saw him again until one day I found out he had died later in life...here I sit healthy and happily married to a wonderful man.
It's all about choices, not being Positive or negative.
Stay safe and play safe.
BBB2.5

 

[Rubenesque]

I would never have sex with someone I know to be HIV+

Having had mishaps with condoms in the past I don't think it would be worth the risk.

 

[Tremaine]

Whether you are positive or negative, is frankly irrelevant - it is wise to always have safe sex, or be celebate. There is absolutely no way of knowing for certain whether the person you are about to go to bed with is + or -, and you can't totally trust what they tell you, although if they say they are positive it is probably a fair bet that they really are. But because they say they are negative doesn't mean that they necessarily are.

However the medication now makes it a very managable chronic disease, such that many + people still carry on a full and busy life, and you would have no way of knowing their status unless they told you.

So if you are negative still always play safe, and if you are positive, still play safe as it is not right to pass on the virus. That includes all of you who are straight or bi.

 

[invisibleman]

I have had protected sex with three HIV positive guys a loooonnngg time ago and I am HIV negative.

I am really glad that on my college campus there were some really good sex education events in the dorms one was for men and the other was for women. They talked about sexually transmitted diseases...using condoms properly...and they had some amazing literature on safer sex guidelines. What are risky sex behaviors. What are safer sex behaviors.

I would have sex with an HIV positive person. But never in an unprotected risky sex sex behavior way. No barebacking (fucking without condoms) and no swallowing bodily fluids.

 

[445768]

How can you not have had sex with someone who has HIV in this day and age? I have dated, loved and indeed had sex with more than a few someones who had HIV; and i'm still negative. The problem is not that my partners had HIV, rather that I was armed with the right information about the disease, and i was. I know how HIV is typically transmitted and what not to do to put myself at risk. The other thing is this; in order to get HIV you really have to be doing some hard core fucking..i mean some hardcore fucking. There also has to be some opening in or near the anus that will allow for the disease to enter the body. Remember, we are talking about a blood transmitted disease..this is not airborne or transmitted through coughing or eating bad food. You have to actually really kind of be working hard to get HIV and that's the part no one talks about...it's not as easily transmitted as one might think. Having said all of this i am sure someone will offer testimony of someone who caught HIV by simply having "vanilla" sex and it just happened. And to that i would say...." you probably either didn't get the whole story or were lied to". It's not easy to get HIV or AIDS.

Ummmmm... vanilla sex?
And although there is risk from oral sex, it's not nearly as high as unprotected anal.

A lot more people are getting HIV from giving oral sex and besides HIV there are a host of other STDs that you can easily get that are no picnic like Syphilis or Herpes. I never initiated anal sex. Assholes just aren't sex organs for me. I would put on a rubber and fuck someone if I really wanted to continue playing. It wasn't any fun, but I'd do it if the guy was hot enough. Latex tastes horrible so I never used condoms, not even the icky flavored ones. That worked for 10 years. Then one week, guys suddenly started cumming in my mouth without a warning. This was totally new. A couple months later, I showed up at the clinic to receive my final negative antibody test, "It sounds like your practices are totally safe. I don't understand why you came in today." And about 10 days later, I came down with acute HIV retroviral syndrome. Learned: - Yes, you can get HIV from giving head. - Yes, you can have a viral load through the roof, but score negative on an antibody test. So when a guy says he's drug and disease-free and you be too. he has no idea what he's talking about. He might have caught it last week. He might be one of the 5% non-reactive carriers. Craigslist is full of denial. - It only takes one viral cell, so undetectable HIV doesn't mean viral-free. Without a viral load test, you never know when you're carrying a virus until your body reacts. There are 3 kinds of people: Virgins, Pozzies, and Unsure. Oral is low risk, but not zero risk. How fast can you spit? How well can you clean your mouth out with saliva? Do you have ANY dental problems? Do your gums bleed at all when you brush? Do you swallow? I was the generation born wearing a rubber. They said I was totally safe. If I could do it all over again I never would have had sex with an HIV+ guy.

 

[pumperguy]

Everyone should be tested!
Everyone should know their HIV status!
I have been poz for over 20 years and I am strong and very healthy!
Thanx to my Dr and great strides in Aids reaserch.
If you don't know your status, and you are having unsafe sex, you could be spreading the illness!
Not knowing could kill you and your partners!