Would you fuck/date/marry someone with a strong history of cancer in his/her family?

[houtx48]

the heart wants what it wants............

 

[798686]

DO any of us know if when we get into our car tommorrow tht we wont be hit broadside and crippled, left mentally incapacitated, burned beyond recognition or any of the other unfortunate things that could happen? Of course not. But we would hope and pray that someone would still love us and have compassion on our situation. I can understand being afraid of possible disaster to come but no one of us knows how and when it will strike so we just have to live and love our way through it.

I agree.

Why miss out on being with someone you love, just because they may get ill at some point further down the line? You might pop off long before them anyway.

 

[wallyj84]

You're a hypocrite. A big fucking one, that is... In the "Would you date a fat girl?"..... I quote you "I would never date or marry a fat woman. It would bring me far too much shame."

And now you say you would fuck / date and MAYBE marry them.

No. I'm saying that I would not fuck, date or marry a fat woman. But I would fuck, date and maybe marry a woman with a strong family history of cancer.

 

[D_Ellerby Eatsprick]

No. I'm saying that I would not fuck, date or marry a fat woman. But I would fuck, date and maybe marry a woman with a strong family history of cancer.

Just to let you know - cancer causes either drastic weight loss or weight gain. What happens if your gf/ wife balloons up because of all the drugs and chemo and such?

And I've seen it happen to several family members, and even the weight loss is not an easy battle after they conquer cancer.

 

[wallyj84]

Just to let you know - cancer causes either drastic weight loss or weight gain. What happens if your gf/ wife balloons up because of all the drugs and chemo and such?

And I've seen it happen to several family members, and even the weight loss is not an easy battle after they conquer cancer.

Yes, cancer can cause weight gain or loss. But that wasn't the question posed by the OP.

The question of the OP was specifically about fucking, dating or marrying someone who had a very strong likelihood of dying early or somehow becoming physically or mentally incapacitated by disease.

What you're asking is a completely different question. It's not a horrible question, but it's only tangentially related to the actual point of the thread.

 

[silvertriumph2]

For those of you who worry about having a defective offspring by way of a
defective lover....who said you have to have offspring with them?

 

[Big Irish]

I also have to add this: being fat is a choice. It's food addiction. It's not like cancer and shouldn't be compared with cancer.

Alright dumbass, I liked u up to this point. Some people are fat due to over-eating, but many are suffering from bodily disorders. I myself am 90lbs overweight, I haven't eaten fast-food or any type junk food for 2 years, I can also swim a full mile. My problem? a series of concussions shutdown my pituitary gland which controls my thyroid, so I have gotten a compound cranial-Thyroid disfunction in my 30's. I'm on over 150mcg of synthroid and have yat to get the levels high enough to be "normal". The only people who even utter the aforementioned tripe are those whom have never had any weight issues.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

Yes. You cant help who you are in love with and if they did get cancer or whatever, id want to be there throughout to help them.

 

[D_Ellerby Eatsprick]

Yes, cancer can cause weight gain or loss. But that wasn't the question posed by the OP.

The question of the OP was specifically about fucking, dating or marrying someone who had a very strong likelihood of dying early or somehow becoming physically or mentally incapacitated by disease.

What you're asking is a completely different question. It's not a horrible question, but it's only tangentially related to the actual point of the thread.

I'm not an idiot. I know what the OP was asking, and somewhere in trying to present my argument (between this thread and the other), I lost the point of what I was trying to say.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

Please see SouthernGirl's thread http://www.lpsg.org/173905-would-you-fuck-date-marry.html for background.

In that thread a lot of people are saying they'd never marry a fat person because of concerns about longevity and overall fitness as life progresses.

I'm calling those people on their bullshit. I don't believe for a second that is any kind of a concern for people who just don't fancy fat folk.

I never finished reading the thread but I'm pretty sure I was the one predominately bringing up those issues. Just because you don't have the same views as everyone else or have been victim to a tip-toe-around-the-issue society doesn't mean these views aren't sincere.

Health and genetics play the ultimate role in choosing one to mate with. Would you have a child with someone who would potentially die before the child had time to mature? Or worse, would you deliberately choose to mate with someone who had a higher risk of passing a disease on to your child? The answer is no, and not because of your opinion... it's all based on human programming. Humanity wouldn't survive if it was programmed to not care about its future, we have to (by the laws of nature) mate with the fittest in order for our bloodline to have the best chances of survival.

 

[naughty]

Alright dumbass, I liked u up to this point. Some people are fat due to over-eating, but many are suffering from bodily disorders. I myself am 90lbs overweight, I haven't eaten fast-food or any type junk food for 2 years, I can also swim a full mile. My problem? a series of concussions shutdown my pituitary gland which controls my thyroid, so I have gotten a compound cranial-Thyroid disfunction in my 30's. I'm on over 150mcg of synthroid and have yat to get the levels high enough to be "normal". The only people who even utter the aforementioned tripe are those whom have never had any weight issues.

Thank you. There are a number of us who before our Thyroids shut down had no problems with weight and now are living with this monster. Sometimes it IS the person's glands.

 

[Notaguru2]

You marry for love. Nothing more, nothing less. You don't settle either. You marry THE ONE; with all their shortcomings.

 

[798686]

I also have to add this: being fat is a choice. It's food addiction. It's not like cancer and shouldn't be compared with cancer.

Whaaaat?!

There's many reasons for people being overweight - slow metabolism being just one of them. For a lot of ppl it's damn near impossible to lose much weight, and isn't as piss-easy as ppl seem to think.

I always found it easy to stay thin, because I have a fast metabolism and could eat whatever shit I wanted. Since I hit 30 (4 yrs ago *ahem*) it's been MUCH harder. Even tho I'm still relatively slim, I have to be really careful about what I eat, and it's been extremely difficult to lose even a small amount. :frown1:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

The original point of the thread, to those of you who haven't got past the title, is really quite clear.

It's not so much about which of us would or wouldn't let health factors decide our lovers and/or life partners for us. It's about the fact that people who aren't physically attracted to overweight people want to bunch them in with the terminally ill so that they can use that as an excuse not to want them rather than admit to the fact they just don't fancy them.

I think it is horseshit.

wally's attitude is shit too - he thinks fat people are 'worth less' - but at least he's fucking honest.

eyescream starts off with 'a fat person is less healthy and that cause problems in later life' type approach but ends up saying 'I can't help what I find attractive'. well done eyescream. finally some fucking honesty.

I'm not talking to one person here - I'm talking generally. If you are so fucking ashamed of your opinions as to try to hide them behind bs like this then maybe need to reconsider those opinions. Or learn to be more honest. Or maybe both.

 

[wallyj84]

wally's attitude is shit too - he thinks fat people are 'worth less' - but at least he's fucking honest.

But we are worth less on the dating market. I'm fat. Not super fat, but not skinny either. I'm not worth as much as a skinny or muscular man. That's just a fact.

Why won't people except this?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

But we are worth less on the dating market. I'm fat. Not super fat, but not skinny either. I'm not worth as much as a skinny or muscular man. That's just a fact.

Why won't people except this?

Because it isn't true.

It isn't a fact.

Just because 7/10 people will find you less attractive (physically) than the slimmer guy standing next to you it does not make you worth less.

For a start he could be a total nutter or have gonorrhoea! but that's not even the point...

What other people think of you is not a measure of your worth to yourself or to the person who thinks you're hot and a wonderful person to be with with.

The very idea of a 'dating market' where we buy and sell each other, trade off against each other like fucking commodities is stupid.

When you meet someone worth loving you'll see that.

 

[missphatbooty]

talk about losing the plot...

i also alluded to this point in that thread, none of those clowns cared about anyone's health. they just dont like the way fat looks.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

talk about losing the plot...

i also alluded to this point in that thread, none of those clowns cared about anyone's health. they just dont like the way fat looks.

Yeah - I don't know about you but I don't really care what they like the look of or not. There is no way of forcing a person to like an overweight figure - and who'd want to be with someone who's forcing themselves anyway? I just have this thing about being honest, with myself and other people.

Call me crazy if you will.

 

[eyescream]

Alright dumbass, I liked u up to this point. Some people are fat due to over-eating, but many are suffering from bodily disorders. I myself am 90lbs overweight, I haven't eaten fast-food or any type junk food for 2 years, I can also swim a full mile. My problem? a series of concussions shutdown my pituitary gland which controls my thyroid, so I have gotten a compound cranial-Thyroid disfunction in my 30's. I'm on over 150mcg of synthroid and have yat to get the levels high enough to be "normal". The only people who even utter the aforementioned tripe are those whom have never had any weight issues.

3 words: excuses, excuses, excuses.

There are ways to tell someone you disagree with them, and calling them 'dumbass' is hitting below the belt. I'm not one to patronize so believe me, I'll have no problem calling you names. But that would just be unconstructive and I'll leave that to you since you're doing a pretty good job of it for the both of us.

This is the main reason I wouldn't date a fat person: emotional issues. Fat people in my opinion, have the "throw in the towel" and self-pity type of personality. Who in their right mind wants to be in a relationship with someone with a can't-do state of mind. I have my own problems in life, I don't need to add on to that.

You can swim a full mile: but do you? DO YOU? What do you do everyday to try to get rid of the weight?

Almost everyone has to deal with weight issues. Just because some of us aren't overweight, doesn't mean we don't have to do anything to maintain this weight. I was overweight for one year of my life and I blamed it on my problems. I'll tell you, I look back now and think about how disappointed I am of myself back then, because I was letting myself down.

I know someone who had experienced being overweight (weight gained during pregnancy). She spent years blaming the baby weight. Then it was blaming how busy she was as a new mother.

How many minutes did she spend doing any form of exercise during the day? Zero. When her friend had a baby, her friend lost the baby weight within the first few months, no excuses. An acquaintance of mine is still blaming her pregnancy for her weight gain. Her baby is 4 years old.

I don't like telling fat people to slim down because it's none of my business and we all deal with our problems the best way we know how, but you have all cornered me into that situation. I'm a believer in 'anything is possible' so I don't like hearing people say stuff like "yeah well I'm fat because of this..." or "because of that..."

To the OP: I don't find fat people ugly at all. I don't know why people associate fat with being ugly. I wasn't brought up in that kind of community. I did however, grow up being pushed around by the fat kids at school calling me skinny. They called me anorexic and spread rumours around that I had AIDS.

What they didn't know though, was that my family wasn't earning enough to feed me proper. That had always led me to believe that fat people are generally insecure about themselves and try to shift the attention on other people's problems.

To conclude, to me fat people are: financially well-off, high maintenance, lazy, insecure, emotionally troubled and pessimistic. Not exactly my cup of tea when it comes to choosing a soulmate.

 

[wallyj84]

Because it isn't true.

It isn't a fact.

Just because 7/10 people will find you less attractive (physically) than the slimmer guy standing next to you it does not make you worth less.

Value is determined by supply and demand. There is low demand for men of my type with most women. What's more, for the women who would have my body type in demand, the supply of wally-like men far outstrips the demand.

All these things mean that my value is low.

What other people think of you is not a measure of your worth to yourself or to the person who thinks you're hot and a wonderful person to be with with.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that the kind of woman who would think I'm hot is extremely rare, while men with my body type are not. There are least a hundred Wally-type men for every one girl with a preference for Wally-type men.

So even to this, fictional, woman who thinks I'm hot, my value is quite low because I am so easily replaced.

The very idea of a 'dating market' where we buy and sell each other, trade off against each other like fucking commodities is stupid.

When you meet someone worth loving you'll see that.

No, it really exists. Now, I think women have trouble accepting that the dating market exists. Why that is, I don't know.

Maybe you find it demeaning that all people are just commodities?