Would you fuck/date/marry someone with a strong history of cancer in his/her family?

[eyescream]

Value is determined by supply and demand. There is low demand for men of my type with most women. What's more, for the women who would have my body type in demand, the supply of wally-like men far outstrips the demand.

All these things mean that my value is low.


The problem with this kind of thinking is that the kind of woman who would think I'm hot is extremely rare, while men with my body type are not. There are least a hundred Wally-type men for every one girl with a preference for Wally-type men.

So even to this, fictional, woman who thinks I'm hot, my value is quite low because I am so easily replaced.


No, it really exists. Now, I think women have trouble accepting that the dating market exists. Why that is, I don't know.

Maybe you find it demeaning that all people are just commodities?

Am I the only one in here who believes that if someone doesn't see the beauty in another person, it's their loss?

Seriously, if people think you're worthless it really is an unfortunate situation. But when you are convinced that your value decreases depending on the market, the obvious problem here is self-esteem.

If you can't see how valuable you are, who in the world is going to see it?

I suppose at this point, it comes down to the story of the stone soup. Convince people you're worthy enough and they will believe you.

 

[billybones]

Would you fuck/date/marry someone with a strong history of cancer in his/her family?

I am doing this very thing right now and I intend to marry him. He had cancer when he was a kid and in a lot of ways it makes me want to protect him. But, it isn't sympathy. We're perfectly suited.

Sorry, I would not date a fat chick. I'm gay. But, I wouldn't date a fat guy, either.

 

[wallyj84]

Am I the only one in here who believes that if someone doesn't see the beauty in another person, it's their loss?

Romantic drivel.

Seriously, if people think you're worthless it really is an unfortunate situation. But when you are convinced that your value decreases depending on the market, the obvious problem here is self-esteem.

It's not a self-esteem issue at all. I'm just being honest with myself and how the dating world works.

If you can't see how valuable you are, who in the world is going to see it?

I suppose at this point, it comes down to the story of the stone soup. Convince people you're worthy enough and they will believe you.

More romantic drivel.

 

[eyescream]

It's not a self-esteem issue at all.

I went over to read your blog and I'm convinced you have self-esteem issues. Coincidentally, someone also made that comment. Maybe you don't, but I suppose it's the perception some of us get.

In the dating world, I believe low self-esteem is the #1 most off-putting trait.

 

[BIGBULL29]

Some cancers can now be a choice, too: cigarette smoking and tanning beds both lead to lung and skin cancer, respectively. People know this nowadays. Stop the insanity.

Being obese is a clear choice for most people (rare cases). Being a little overweight is a different story. Metabolism does play a role for many, and makes it a lot harder. That said, we can and must get in control of ourselves.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

All of us are going to get cancer, heart disease, or go senile if we live long enough. The human mortality rate was hovering right at 100% last time I checked. Someone's family history is also not a good way to judge someone's potential longevity either. Based on mine I should live to be well over 100 but I will be surprised if I make it to 40 given all of the shit that is wrong with me.

Six of my great grandparents lived well into their 90s, one great grandmother lived to be 102.5. These people did not eat healthy either, they all lived on farms and raised chickens, cows, and hogs so they ate several eggs every day, cured their own hams and bacon (that stuff was so salty I could not eat it) made their own homemade butter, cooked everything they ate in lard and bacon grease. Their cholesterol must have been in the friggen stratosphere but it sure as hell didn't hurt them! Three of my grandparents also lived into their mid 90s too and they grew up eating that same unhealthy fare down on the farm! Dad and Mom are healthy and 71 and 69, then there is me...I am a the fucking basket case of the family.

I was diagnosed at age 20 with rare incurable genetic kidney disorder called FSGS that NOBODY in our family ever had that we know of. Without a kidney transplant I would never have seen my 25th bithday. Then the disease came back and eventually took out the transplanted kidney 2 years ago when I was 35 and I had to get another one. I also have a genetic eye disease called Kerataconus that is slowly making me go blind but according to my doc it is progressing slowly so I will probably be dead before I need a white cane or a seeing eye dog. Nobody in the family ever had that either that we know of.

If that were not enough I was at the doc today because I had a CT scan last week to diagnose a possible hernia. I don't have a hernia but they found a mass in my abdomen that might be cancer. I don't smoke, don't drink, and don't do illegal drugs, am not overweight, stay in shape, and look at least 10 years younger than I really am. I look like the picture of youth and health and you would have no clue that my body is a rebuilt wreck being kept alive by used parts from the morgue. Oh well, I guess I will look good lying in my casket at my visitation!

 

[B_quietguy]

You marry for love. Nothing more, nothing less. You don't settle either. You marry THE ONE; with all their shortcomings.

Why just ONE? I'd prefer to marry 2 or 3 people - and still accept each partner for his or her limitations.

 

[B_quietguy]

Would I fuck somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.
Would I date somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.
Would I marry somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.

If I turned down a person because they might get cancer, that person could turn down me for the same reason.

I'd bet dollars against dimes that every person has worries and doubts about "Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I hung enough? Am I rich enough? Am I healthy enough? Am I sane enough? Will I stay that way for rest of my life?" Everyone has some reason to worry they aren't good enough. That includes you and me. Why not just accept each person's faults and limitations and learn to love them anyway?

We all die sometime. Might as well make the most of every day.

Cherish the love you have for as long as you each shall live.

 

[wallyj84]

I went over to read your blog and I'm convinced you have self-esteem issues. Coincidentally, someone also made that comment. Maybe you don't, but I suppose it's the perception some of us get.

In the dating world, I believe low self-esteem is the #1 most off-putting trait.

No, I definitely have low self esteem. I admit that. What I'm saying is that my views are based on my lack of self esteem, they're based on the realities of the dating game.

 

[naughty]

Would I fuck somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.
Would I date somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.
Would I marry somebody with cancer in his/her family? Yes.

If I turned down a person because they might get cancer, that person could turn down me for the same reason.

I'd bet dollars against dimes that every person has worries and doubts about "Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I hung enough? Am I rich enough? Am I healthy enough? Am I sane enough? Will I stay that way for rest of my life?" Everyone has some reason to worry they aren't good enough. That includes you and me. Why not just accept each person's faults and limitations and learn to love them anyway?

We all die sometime. Might as well make the most of every day.

Cherish the love you have for as long as you each shall live.

Thank you.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Or heart disease, or senility, or any other genetic and potentially fatal disease/disorder?

Please see SouthernGirl's thread http://www.lpsg.org/173905-would-you-fuck-date-marry.html for background.

In that thread a lot of people are saying they'd never marry a fat person because of concerns about longevity and overall fitness as life progresses.

I'm calling those people on their bullshit. I don't believe for a second that is any kind of a concern for people who just don't fancy fat folk. It's OK - you don't like the look of a fat person - be honest. Don't give us this shit about worrying about their longevity. Nearly every single one of you would happily fuck, date, fall in love with and marry some woman who had lost every single female relative to breast cancer, or some guy who had no relatives over 65 because they'd all died of heart disease.

I get it - you don't want to appear shallow for not liking the look of fat people so you feel the need to make it about something else. But look at the facts, thin people die every day. People get sick and die of all sorts of stuff.

Not to mention that fat people sometimes lose weight and, guess what, thin people sometimes put on weight and you end up married to a fatty anyway - what do you do about that, divorce her/him?

Many of the same people I see posting about the health hazards of being wed to a fatty I also see posting about how hot older people are to them. But surely those folks are going to die sooner too? Why bother with them?

Look - I don't like blonde men - I've dated a couple in my time but, really, they just don't do it for me. Is that a shallow, looks based stance? Yes - I admit. Were I on the dating scene I'm sure I'd overlook some good men because of it, but at least I don't pretend that blondes are in some way inferior. They're not.

Back to health matters. I have a hereditary condition that, no matter how well I look after it, could randomly kill me (low chances but there nonetheless) - I'm also overweight. According to y'all Hick is crazy to marry me. Hick is 18 years older than me and that alone suggests I should think twice about a long term relationship with him. But guess what, I love him - I'll take a chance on having a shorter than average 'til death do us part' with him because he's perfect for me and he makes me happier than I would ever have thought possible.

Had I rejected Hick based on his age, had he rejected me based on my potential lack of longevity we'd both be missing out on the best relationship, not to mention the best sex, of our lives.

If you can't have good sex with a person because you're not attracted to him/her due to some physical feature like weight at least have the decency and self belief to be honest about it. Your bullshit is WAY more offensive than your preference.

Love conquers all.

When there is love between two consenting adults, no matter what that situations, terminal, genetic, fat, short, bald, gorgeous, black or white...love needs to express itself.

Love is a higher purpose in life. It lifts and enhances even the weakest among us.

My mother died of breast cancer. She lived 5 years longer than the Drs expected her too. My dad loved her unconditionally as did the rest of our family.

Hope is close companion of Love. When those two are present in any relationship it is not crazy and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to get the plug out of their own arses.

The whole nature of light and truth is come forward and live in the open...when you feel that truth at work in your life. Nothing else matters, esp what others have to say, no matter what shape, size or package it comes in. Only your desire to express that love matters, it is an action word after all.

I wish you two the best of everything Man & Hick.

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

The last time I looked, you couldnt "catch" cancer by fucking someone..... Crabs, maybe, but not cancer.....

 

[freyasworld]

Remember that 1in3 women will get breast cancer, I know 1st hand what that's like! However with the right tratment there is hope - just had my 5 yearly check up and I'm now officially in remission!

So I would like to think some guy wouldn't mind giving me a length from time to time!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

The last time I looked, you couldnt "catch" cancer by fucking someone..... Crabs, maybe, but not cancer.....

You have a really short attention span and reading comprehension issues, don't you?

 

[Pendlum]

I probably would. I would strongly urge frequent check ups and things like that though. If she had some kind of genetic defect or disease that could be passed on to our kids and we really wanted them, I'd see if she was okay with adopting, or being a foster parent. Still, I'd be hesitant, because you may bet setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak. So the really off putting thing about that is, could I handle it? This is of course for the date/marry part. Fucking can be a whole different thing if you want it to be.

 

[KTF40]

Never really thought of this.

Fuck? Yes, but probably not under the circumstances of a one night stand.
Date? Yes.
Marry? Hmmm. Can't really say for sure. Would need more information to answer this question. Plus, I haven't met anyone in my life that I would actually consider marrying so this question is kind of a little out there for me if you know what I mean.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

The last time I looked, you couldnt "catch" cancer by fucking someone..... Crabs, maybe, but not cancer.....

Only you JJ.

I bet you're a hoot at the Lobster boil. :tongue:

 

[B_Hickboy]

Never really thought of this.

Fuck? Yes, but probably not under the circumstances of a one night stand.
Date? Yes.
Marry? Hmmm. Can't really say for sure. Would need more information to answer this question. Plus, I haven't met anyone in my life that I would actually consider marrying so this question is kind of a little out there for me if you know what I mean.

What's the matter, they all too fat? :biggrin:

 

[KTF40]

What's the matter, they all too fat? :biggrin:

Haha no. I need to get a girlfriend first before I can think about marriage.

 

[BIGBULL29]

All of us are going to get cancer, heart disease, or go senile if we live long enough. The human mortality rate was hovering right at 100% last time I checked. Someone's family history is also not a good way to judge someone's potential longevity either. Based on mine I should live to be well over 100 but I will be surprised if I make it to 40 given all of the shit that is wrong with me.

Six of my great grandparents lived well into their 90s, one great grandmother lived to be 102.5. These people did not eat healthy either, they all lived on farms and raised chickens, cows, and hogs so they ate several eggs every day, cured their own hams and bacon (that stuff was so salty I could not eat it) made their own homemade butter, cooked everything they ate in lard and bacon grease. Their cholesterol must have been in the friggen stratosphere but it sure as hell didn't hurt them! Three of my grandparents also lived into their mid 90s too and they grew up eating that same unhealthy fare down on the farm! Dad and Mom are healthy and 71 and 69, then there is me...I am a the fucking basket case of the family.

I was diagnosed at age 20 with rare incurable genetic kidney disorder called FSGS that NOBODY in our family ever had that we know of. Without a kidney transplant I would never have seen my 25th bithday. Then the disease came back and eventually took out the transplanted kidney 2 years ago when I was 35 and I had to get another one. I also have a genetic eye disease called Kerataconus that is slowly making me go blind but according to my doc it is progressing slowly so I will probably be dead before I need a white cane or a seeing eye dog. Nobody in the family ever had that either that we know of.

If that were not enough I was at the doc today because I had a CT scan last week to diagnose a possible hernia. I don't have a hernia but they found a mass in my abdomen that might be cancer. I don't smoke, don't drink, and don't do illegal drugs, am not overweight, stay in shape, and look at least 10 years younger than I really am. I look like the picture of youth and health and you would have no clue that my body is a rebuilt wreck being kept alive by used parts from the morgue. Oh well, I guess I will look good lying in my casket at my visitation!

I will be thinking of you, Jeepguy. All will be well.:smile: Take care.