would you have sex with a person in your workplace?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_ILIW, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. B_ILIW

    B_ILIW New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,448
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham, UK
    What if it was somebody in another department, and not in the same department or team?

    I know everybody is different and would approach things differently, but would it be something women in general would be willing to do?
     
  2. the_new_godiva

    Joined:
    May 10, 2010
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0
    I worked a summer student job that would encourage me to answer "yes, women in general would sleep with their co-workers". Hundreds of students working hot summer days and then drinking entirely too much at night. Many relationships lasted longer than a night, surprisingly, despite the supervisors discouraging any romances.

    Now, go to a work place that isn't basically like a college dorm and I think many women will answer in the negative. Speaking for myself, there is a guy at my workplace that I'd fool around with if it were to remain completely secret.
     
  3. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    yes. I work in Transprtation. I was getting ready to leave work and the guy I worked with commented about my ass. I wore some jeans and he said i had a nice ass. I told him thanks. He asked could he touch it. I didn't know he was gay, we both are very masculine. Long story short we kissed, sucked and fucked each other. He came quick, I didn't. Finished off at home. Every once in while we still fool around.
     
  4. silvertriumph2

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,507
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2,047
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastcoast USA (NYC-Manhattan)
    Verified:
    Photo

    When I was younger, inexperienced, and didn't know better...I fooled around with
    a number or women (and men too) in my department and in other departments of
    one of the companies for which I worked. I was foolish to think that no one would
    know, or that tongues would not wag or talk. I thought what was being done was
    being done clandestinely and that no one was the wiser. Well, I was stupid and lost
    my job because of it.

    It seems that I had a stockroom tryst with the bosses mistress, a very forward girl
    whose antics were well known, but not to me. She put the mark on me as soon as
    I arrived because I was not initially interested in her and was not overly friendly. I
    finally took the bait and that was my downfall. She had a wagging tongue and she
    mentioned what we were doing to some other women, and over heard by others who
    were jealous of her position in the office since she was never asked to do overtime.
    It got back to the boss and I was called on the carpet and fired!

    I did not learn and I was caught by a supervisor at another company for "chatting up"
    one of the secretaries...which was against company rules....and given a warning. I
    got caught meeting one of them at a local watering hole later, and it got back to the
    supervisor that we had spend the weekend together, and I was transferred to another
    branch.

    So, I would say...a resounding "NO." Not unless you want to maybe lose your job, miss
    out on some promotions, advancements, etc. It just isn't worth it.

    After I got into management positions myself, I realized how the "grape vine" worked, and
    how many people there are out there who are out to "get" others if it is to their advantage.
    I had people come to me and tell me things in confidence that almost made me lose my trust
    in others or forever be sceptical of other people's motives. Some, who "secretely" reported
    things to me that would be to "their" advantage only, were some that I would have never
    guessed would have ever done such a thing. You never know!

    I would not play where I work....not worth it!
     
    #4 silvertriumph2, Jul 14, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2010
  5. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Messages:
    1,742
    Likes Received:
    0
    Been there, done that quite a few times, including in the work place during working hours!

    I would hope I'd do neither again; it's really something you should get out of your system in your late teens/early twenties!

    Silvertriumph2 - you are so completely right about office politics. There are always people out to shaft you, even over baseless rumours, jealousy, competition, or plain dislike.

    I once had a twin pronged attack from both HR, & a colleague, he for sheer unknown reasons hated me from the start, & they thought I was a trouble maker for suggesting people should be assessed primarily on results & capability, not whether they were a minute late to a meeting.

    I did wonder if I was paranoid briefly, but it turned out i was right. He did something highly illegal & laid a trail to my door, but thanks to the fact that it turned out HR were spying on me & had installed cameras & keyloggers, they were compelled to bullet him & get the police.

    My Director interviewed me, & asked if I knew what the others had been saying to him about me, & I confirmed, yep they've said worse to me in person. He asked why I hadn't brought it to his attention, & I replied, what kind of f*cking business runs on people tittle tattling to the boss: if they're doing that, they're not doing their job.

    It turns out, most organisations run like this. Mediocrities desperately trying to defend & extend their personal fiefdoms.

    That's why I've only ever worked as a consultant or contractor ever since. None of that sh*t, more respect, can't be sacked, & technically, if inclined, able to f*ck whomever you want!
     
  6. D_Barbi_Dahl

    D_Barbi_Dahl Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2010
    Messages:
    455
    Likes Received:
    4
    My policy...."don't have a honey, where you make your money."
     
  7. Embrace69

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    281
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Somewhere Over the Rainbow
    Verified:
    Photo
    There was this guy I was pretty fond of at my place of employment. We worked together quite well and had many of interesting conversations mostly covering tons of topics, artists, poets, musicians and sex.

    I thought about it once. I spent the 4th of July weekend with him a long time ago when I was in my early 20's. I even sat on his lap once but we decided it was probably a really bad idea since we worked in the same department and what not.

    I'm glad we didn't. It saved some awkward moments.

    We ended up as friends until I left that company. I'm not sure what ever happened to him.
     
  8. gretchenweiner

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    208
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south dakota, it's pretty lame
    At my current job absolutely not. It's a small family business (not my family) and the guys that work here, I'm not attracted to.
     
  9. Wish-4-8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,808
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA, California
    I have been preaching the word "No!" about this issue, on this site for a while. Now, Im not so sure anymore. I guess its a calculated risk, and it really depends on the job and the circumstances. But really, its generally a bad idea.
     
  10. oddeyeblu

    oddeyeblu Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2010
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas City
    I tried it and was immediately considered a womanizer.
    Consequently, I don't get my meat where I get my bread.
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I had a LTR/FB (blurred boundaries) relationship with a guy I worked with once. It caused a few problems at work, as word got out even though we tried to keep it quiet.

    I also had sex with a few other guys from the same workplace, but there were no problems there.

    It's something I would try to avoid these days, although I wouldn't rule it out completely.
     
  12. nohidingstyle

    nohidingstyle New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2009
    Messages:
    241
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    anyone remember that sopranos plot-arc?
     
  13. ScorpioSlut

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    617
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Verified:
    Photo
    Absolutely not....no ifs ands or buts about it.
     
  14. MoonDoggy

    MoonDoggy Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Perth, Western Australia, Australia
    My current and last girlfriends were both "office romances". I've always been against it by principle but considering that I didn't want this job, don't care about it and that it's less of an office and more of a pub, I decided to go for it. Helps that they pursued me though, don't know if I would have made a strong play for a woman I worked with.
     
  15. HiddenLacey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2010
    Messages:
    5,470
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    249
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere
    This is pretty much how I feel. My normal answer would be no. But, I never want to rule anything out completely.
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Depends on the workplace and the guy!

    I've worked in bars and restaurants where it seemed like everyone was playing "musical beds" and it didn't seem to cause very many problems at all. Actually, I think all the food service jobs I had were like that.

    I've had other jobs where I've never seen two people hook up and the environment was almost anti-sexual, like everyone was totally sexless.

    In general, it's a terrible idea, but like submissivegirl83, it's not a rule set in stone. It depends entirely upon circumstance.
     
    #16 petite, Jul 15, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2010
  17. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,442
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,511
    Location:
    United States
    I have considered it twice, but never have. It just seemed like asking for unwanted drama. The first guy technically worked for the main company, and I was a sub-contractor, but his job was very corporate (we both worked for Hilton) and his boss (my boss's boss) seemed to hate me. I sometimes wish I had. He looked like a Ken doll, and his name was Ken. How novel! The second time, I would have because he was a doorman, and I worked at the pool. However, I had a boyfriend.
     
  18. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2010
    Messages:
    3,291
    Likes Received:
    6
    Yes,my first gf was a nurse as well,she worked in a different department to me though.We used to kiss and fumble in the sluice room.
     
  19. idesofmarch

    idesofmarch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Finland
    Depends on your work mates. Not in this company.
     
  20. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,853
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,741
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    No. Never. Even if I weren't monogamous, I wouldn't want to complicate things at work any more than they already are. Besides most of my co-workers are women or gay men. I get hit on sometimes by clients, usually guys with a lot of money looking to redesign more than a kitchen. I usually have to be very careful and tactful to tell them no without losing the business. Only rarely did I suggest they get a new designer.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted