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Would You Have Sex With A Sadist? How About A Relationship?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Intellectualmeat, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Intellectualmeat

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    Simple question in the title: Would you have sex with a sexual sadist? Or could you be in a relationship with a sadist?
     
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  2. shard38

    shard38 Legendary Member

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    No
     
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  3. Enid

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    Heck no, I am not into that at all.

    Little BDSM play? Yes please, I will go with that.

    But I cannot go with someone who gets off on extreme pain, suffering or humiliation of others.
     
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  4. 1222288

    1222288 Guest

    Absolutely not. There is a world of difference between small doses of fetish play, and having a relationship with someone like that. I think you'd find that, if you didn't run away screaming, your self esteem and soul would be utterly crushed and ruined.

    It would be like having Ramsay Bolton as a partner, minus the truly psychopathic aspects.
     
  5. Tattooed Goddess

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    Yes. But I'd give them permission to Express their kink with someone else. Some one who jives with their jam.

    My former partner was definitely a bit of a sadist. But not in your traditional sense. It was a bit much for me. He toned it down when we played but honestly I know he wanted to hurt me more than I wanted it. If he got too serious I'd just call red on the scene and we would drop the kink play and go back to normal foreplay.
     
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  6. 693987

    693987 Guest

    Possibly. It depends upon how they expressed it/enacted it. It depends on how respectful of me as an individual and a person they are. How respectful they are of boundaries. I am not lesser. I am not into humiliation. I do like some kinds of pain. I find it pleasurable. I can find it cathartic.

    Sex? More likely. A relationship? Much more carefully.
     
  7. Tattooed Goddess

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    All sadists are not psychopaths or sociopaths. Vice versa.

    1 in 24 people are sociopaths to some degree. Many never act on it and hide it well. Others exploit people. Some are nuts. Some are completely sane and respect boundaries.

    We would have to talk/negotiate thoroughly first.
     
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  8. Intellectualmeat

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    It’s nice seeing the nuance in your responses @Tattooed Goddess & @Fade. Most people hear sadist and think of Ramsey Bolton (@420Canadian lol I had to use that) although that’s not the case. TG stated it well: All sadists are not psychopaths or sociopaths & Vice versa.

    I know many people who are into BDSM yet do not believe the “S & M” portion of that lifestyle or kink. I see both as kinks a person may or may not have. My decision is simply “Does this person’s kink work for me? Do I like it or can I deal with it?”

    Fascinating information in this thread though.
     
  9. 693987

    693987 Guest

    I have a touch of sadism within my personality. I enjoy inflicting pain. That enjoyment is within the boundaries discussed and consented to, though. Pushing boundaries occasionally within what has been consented to as well. So long as in this hypothetical, the person in the scenarios you ask about is as well behaved as I am? No issue.

    I have a blood kink. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a fetish, but the mental image of fresh blood dripping down someone's skin makes my clit twitchy. The things that arouse me along those lines aren't something that many people would likely consent to. It stays inside my mind, and will remain there until such an occasion where someone who would enjoy it and consent to it might arise (along with my being single or informed + consensual non-monogamy).

    I genuinely do feel the hunger and sharp kiss of both sides of sadism and masochism. I am a well behaved ravenous beast. The right kinds of pain (as opposed to the pain from some of my health issues) satiates me like nothing else will. I have a vanilla partner. I don't think he will ever truly understand how BDSM completes me. He tries, but it isn't the same as someone having that same inner wickedness in some way that I do.
     
  10. Tattooed Goddess

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    I'm a fellow wicked bitch. I'm a switch bitch.
     
  11. Tattooed Goddess

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    Ramsay Bolton would be classified as a sadistic psychopath with serial killing tendencies and performed gross and brutal acts if mutilation. Those folks do exist. But they are extremely rare. Extremely.
     
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  12. Intellectualmeat

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    Yep that checks out.
     
  13. 328982

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    No and no.
     
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  14. Stratavos

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    they can be a sadist without afflicting me. I'm a bit sadistic myself so as long as we can find a target and not mess with my morals too much then that can be a great relationship.
     
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  15. Intellectualmeat

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    How did I miss this post earlier? You just spoke my soul language.

    This thread was borne because of a few conversations and the responses when I told someone I’m a sadist. I knew what the reaction would be so it wasn’t hurtful, but it was interesting.

    I cannot help that I enjoy inflicting sexual pain (spanking, whipping, flogging, alligator clamps on nipples & clit, fucking in a way that will cause pain, etc), but I would never “hurt” my partner. Everything, even if it appears extreme, must be agreed to beforehand. On several occasions Pet, who is very afraid of anal sex, has offered to get drunk then I can fuck her anally. I’ve never taken her up on that offer and I never will. One part of me absolutely loves for that moment of whimpering pain, but I could not do that unless she wasn’t completely in control enough to put a stop to it when it’s too much.

    Not hurting her is more important than my particular kink.

    During certain sexual play sessions Pet will be up for rough play with humiliation and during those times I go to town! Lol. Those days/nights are like Disneyland for me. We both enjoy it safely.
     
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  16. Tattooed Goddess

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    This thread is really my jam.

    Domspace
    Subspace

    Fuck yeah!
     
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  17. Intellectualmeat

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    Yes! The level of communication, intimacy & understanding needed for safe, sane, consensual play is mind blowing.
     
  18. Tattooed Goddess

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    Power exchange when done between two people who have chemistry makes you high. It is intoxicating when both top and bottom are getting what they want.
     
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  19. Stratavos

    Stratavos Legendary Member

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    certainly not for the faint-hearted. pulling off a fantasy scene is the same thing as executing "the wedding day"
     
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  20. malakos

    malakos Superior Member

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    Depends on the sadist.

    What qualifies a sexual sadist? My impression is that it is someone for whom the inflicting of pain plays a significant part in what is sexually satisfying to them. Is it actually something more complicated than that?

    Assuming that's a fair working definition, there are three main questions I would ask in determining if I could possibly make a sexual connection with a sadist:

    1) How imperative is the practice of sadism to this person's sex life? Would they ever be able to have sex without involving the sadism? In considering an on-going thing, would they have to be causing me pain on a very regular basis? Or would going through phases work for them?
    2) What is the range, the severity, of what counts as pleasing for them? Would I have to be in agony for them to be satisfied? Or would a more moderate sadomasochism, that balances an interplay of the sensual and the painful, work for them?
    3) Are they respectful of boundaries? If they want to inflict a certain level of pain on me, but I can only handle half of that, would they have the self-control to respect that? Would they be kind and encouraging as we do a give and take and figure out a groove that is good for both of us?

    If the answers to #3 are not resoundingly "Yes", they can hit the road. If they are a more considerate kinkster, but the scopes of what interest us don't overlap much, I would politely decline. If they were willing to set aside the sadomasochism for a hookup, I'd consider, I'd consider it, but most likely pass on it. The only way I could really see it working is if our interests meet enough such that we could both be satisfied, and for a potential relationship, if I knew there being an ebb and flow to the S&M would work for them.
     
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