Would you hook up with a guy who can't cum?

nudeguy1958

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Hi guys, new to this site. I had prostate cancer surgery almost 9 years ago. I was fortunate that the cancer is gone and I had an excellent recovery. I regained the ability to get an erection, but can never shoot sperm. I can orgasm and I get lots of precum. Is not shooting a turn off?
 

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Hi guys, new to this site. I had prostate cancer surgery almost 9 years ago. I was fortunate that the cancer is gone and I had an excellent recovery. I regained the ability to get an erection, but can never shoot sperm. I can orgasm and I get lots of precum. Is not shooting a turn off?
Should be no problem, and hey, congrats. Did have a short time lover with a cock so big he had difficulty in keeping it hard and even getting it hard no matter what |I did with in and not once in 3 months did he ever shoot a load let alone make pre cum, even fucking myself with dildo before working him in didn't do the trick
 
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HotBulge

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If you can (1) get an erection (2) pre-cum and (3) orgasm, you are still doing better than many men over the age of 40 -- especially after a health care such as cancer. You could probably fool/convince a partner in a casual hookup that you have been sexually satisfied from the evidence of pre-cum and having an orgasm. If you are in a more serious relationship, then your partner ought to respect that you can maintain and erection and orgasm. Looking for white spunk seems superficial.

There are probably multiple ways to get the guy you are with excited whether it's 69 positions, role play, dildos or extenders, rimming, etc. You don't need to apply "porn standards" to your sex life if you and your partner are both sexually gratified.
 

nudeguy1958

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If you can (1) get an erection (2) pre-cum and (3) orgasm, you are still doing better than many men over the age of 40 -- especially after a health care such as cancer. You could probably fool/convince a partner in a casual hookup that you have been sexually satisfied from the evidence of pre-cum and having an orgasm. If you are in a more serious relationship, then your partner ought to respect that you can maintain and erection and orgasm. Looking for white spunk seems superficial.

There are probably multiple ways to get the guy you are with excited whether it's 69 positions, role play, dildos or extenders, rimming, etc. You don't need to apply "porn standards" to your sex life if you and your partner are both sexually gratified.
If you can (1) get an erection (2) pre-cum and (3) orgasm, you are still doing better than many men over the age of 40 -- especially after a health care such as cancer. You could probably fool/convince a partner in a casual hookup that you have been sexually satisfied from the evidence of pre-cum and having an orgasm. If you are in a more serious relationship, then your partner ought to respect that you can maintain and erection and orgasm. Looking for white spunk seems superficial.

There are probably multiple ways to get the guy you are with excited whether it's 69 positions, role play, dildos or extenders, rimming, etc. You don't need to apply "porn standards" to your sex life if you and your partner are both sexually gratified.
I get what you're saying. My husband loves cum. So we want another man to join us. Someone more than a hook up. I'm still struggling with esteem issues. My cock was beautiful before the surgery, I lost length and girth.
 
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Hi guys, new to this site. I had prostate cancer surgery almost 9 years ago. I was fortunate that the cancer is gone and I had an excellent recovery. I regained the ability to get an erection, but can never shoot sperm. I can orgasm and I get lots of precum. Is not shooting a turn off?
Not for me, not an issue (excuse pun)
 

HotBulge

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Judging by your photo, your "junk" looks similar to many of the men that I've seen on the nude beach of Ptown this summer - most of them in their 50s and 60s. I say that just for comparison of what I have found as "normal" for a similar group of people.

The arm-chair psychologist in me suspects that your self-declared "esteem issues" around a loss of girth and length are legitimate, but may be somewhat beside the point for your relationship. You have a husband who presumably knew about your medical history and still chose to be with you. Do you think that your husband would still ask to introduce a 3rd person into the relationship even if your cock were a "spunk" firehose? If so, why does your husband really want to introduce a 3rd person?

I'm not judging:
  • Is it for sexual variety?
  • Does he just want to play out a fantasy?
  • Is this 3rd person a guy that he wants to be intimate with and doesn't want to "go behind your back"?


I get what you're saying. My husband loves cum. So we want another man to join us. Someone more than a hook up. I'm still struggling with esteem issues. My cock was beautiful before the surgery, I lost length and girth.
 

nudeguy1958

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Judging by your photo, your "junk" looks similar to many of the men that I've seen on the nude beach of Ptown this summer - most of them in their 50s and 60s. I say that just for comparison of what I have found as "normal" for a similar group of people.

The arm-chair psychologist in me suspects that your self-declared "esteem issues" around a loss of girth and length are legitimate, but may be somewhat beside the point for your relationship. You have a husband who presumably knew about your medical history and still chose to be with you. Do you think that your husband would still ask to introduce a 3rd person into the relationship even if your cock were a "spunk" firehose? If so, why does your husband really want to introduce a 3rd person?

I'm not judging:
  • Is it for sexual variety?
  • Does he just want to play out a fantasy?
  • Is this 3rd person a guy that he wants to be intimate with and doesn't want to "go behind your back"?
It is for sexual variety, he doesn't care that I can't cum, even though he misses it. He has a bigger sex drive than I do. We had a third long before my surgery, I also enjoy the company of a third.
 
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igotthebigone

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Hi guys, new to this site. I had prostate cancer surgery almost 9 years ago. I was fortunate that the cancer is gone and I had an excellent recovery. I regained the ability to get an erection, but can never shoot sperm. I can orgasm and I get lots of precum. Is not shooting a turn off?
Not a turnoff to me,as long as we could still have sex
 

MisterB

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nudeguy1958--

My husband of not quite 40 years was diagnosed with prostate cancer 22 years ago. While he no longer discharges seminal fluid, his orgasms are as strong as ever. Based on my up close and personal experience during such events, I believe him! He opted for radiation treatment, so I can't speak about any change in the equipment. Best wishes to you!

MisterB
 
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HotBulge

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@nudeguy1958 , it sounds as though your relationship with your husband is solid enough, and you both communicate your needs and desires. A third person in your relationship is situation you have been in before with your husband, so that’s not a cause for anxiety.

IMHO, I would like to think you are being more self-conscious about it than you need to be. If you are trying to impress/satisfy 20 - somethings, then not splooging may be an issue for them. More mature men, I hope, would not be as superficial to judge you purely by “porn standards”. For pespective, You are fortunate to not have erectile dysfunction, so as a man, you are able to fulfill most sexual functions that (gay) men would desire.

Hookups are, by their nature, based on lust and immediate gratification - especially with the Grindr and Tinder apps. You do better to focus on what your sexual interests are and letting other men know how you are willing to satisfy their sexual interests. In other words, let men know what you do have to offer rather than being self-conscious about not products by cum, which is minor. If you can Pre-cum and get hard, guys probably won’t notice initially if you don’t cum. You can just say that you had a powerful internal orgasm, which is enough feedback to your sexual partner that you are satisfied.
 
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HOU_HEADHUNTER

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It wouldn't be an issue for me. Of course this would be something that I would want to know because when I suck dick, the goal is to get a good load out of the guy I'm sucking. As long as the guy is turned on and enjoying my efforts then I will be satisfied.
 
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I have been fucked by a guy who couldn't cum, he even had a penis extension. All in all though, he knew what he was doing! Spunk or no spunk, it was fun.
 
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BBB2.5

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I think guys relate sexual gratification ending with a guy cumming at some point. When in fact that is not entirely true. Some of us, me included can be sexually satisfied in other ways, that does not end with a climax.
 

igotthebigone

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Hi guys, new to this site. I had prostate cancer surgery almost 9 years ago. I was fortunate that the cancer is gone and I had an excellent recovery. I regained the ability to get an erection, but can never shoot sperm. I can orgasm and I get lots of precum. Is not shooting a turn off?
It wouldn't turn me off
 
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