1. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    285
    Gender:
    Male
    I think one of the most common misunderstandings related to penis size insecurity is the assumption that it is about whether or not you are physically pleasing a partner. I think more often than not it is not an insecurity based on whether or not you can please someone, it is more about your own sense of masculinity. The penis, unlike any other body part on either sex, is intrinsically associated with a personal sense of masculinity.

    People can say "it shouldn't be a measure of masculinity;" but it is. Think of all the jokes referring to someone's "shortcomings," (even David Niven Academy Awards comment about streaker recently played in media) or mentions in advertisements or movies/TV shows implying the sports car comments like "I wonder what he is trying to compensate for." Especially if you have a small flaccid penis that even grows average - the teasing you got in junior high shower situations stay with you the rest of your life.

    Women generally don't tease as much but it is actually becoming more common to equate largeness as sexually more appealing than it used to. Men on this site comment how masculine it makes them feel just to know what is in their pants. Note the recent Details article talks about the confidence gap between those with large penises vs. average/small guys.

    So again, I don't think it is an issue of pleasing the other - it is more about your own sense of masculinity. No matter how many times someone says "but it doesn't define you so don't worry about it," it is hard or even impossible to turn those thoughts of insecurity off.

    Not one woman ever complained about my penis. In fact, one even said "what do you call him - Mr. Big?" even though it is only 5.5 inches. Although that has been somewhat re-assuring it really hasn't done much of anything to really affect how I feel about the whole thing because again it is more about the penis being, in effect, a measure of masculinity that has pervaded our collective thought process.

    There are no easy answers. I think there is some of us that don't want sympathy, easy answers, nor denial - I think we just want to be understood. We have our own reality to deal with and have our own ways to deal with it, but it helps to be listened to and to be understood.
     
  2. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,009
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Miami
  3. abaco

    abaco New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2007
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    I disagree that it's about "masculinity" or "femininity" or any gender-based concept. It's more about self-security in general. If you are not fully engaged with your own sense of self-worth it's going to come out in the bedroom. Guys just center their fears on their penis size because it's easier than confronting difficult emotional issues.

    You say penis size is a measure of masculinity, but I wonder what exactly you think are characteristics of a "masculine" personality -- and how that has anything to do with your penis.

    And I think people like to joke about penis size because so many men are obsessed with it. It's any easy target. Some men DO attempt to compensate for their size, but in all the stupidest ways. Instead of enriching themselves, or trying to be a better lover, they buy a motorcycle. It makes no sense. If your Harley is idling outside my bedroom window at 5:00 in the morning, you're damn right I'm going to pick on you about your penis size, because I know it's going to PISS YOU OFF.
     
  4. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    285
    Gender:
    Male
    I certainly didn't say it is about "femininity."

    You said: It's more about self-security in general.

    Right. Somewhere along the line I've tied my self worth to my penis size. Would I choose to make that connection? Would I choose to do that, like you say, to avoid other issues? Why would I do that? It is too painful to make that choice. I don't understand your line of thought.

    Why do you want to reframe my reality?

    Why are men so "obsessed" with penis size? Why do you dismiss this obsession so lightly?

    I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. It's just that when you say things like ""masculine" personality -- and how that has anything to do with your penis." I told you why - the penis is clearly associated, more than any other body part, as a symbol of masculinity. You either didn't hear me or don't accept that this is true. Are you denying that the penis,as a symbol, is associated with masculinity?
     
  5. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    285
    Gender:
    Male
    One other thing. So you are going to assume that an asshole that roars his Harley engine at 5am has a small penis and therefore is deserving of ridicule?
     
  6. FrankPipeliner

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    dude, you write an awful lot in justification of your small cock or would you call it an apology? get on with your life. stop trying to make up for it and use it as best you can. your masculinity is in your head as well as your cock.
     
  7. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nottingham
    I somewhat agree with the original Post-er. I mean the insecurity I guess gets equated with masculintiy. But the problem is that part of being masculine is "pleasing the ladies" or partners if it's someone else. With that being raised though, who do you think has issues with penis size more. Straight or gay men? And with that being said I know personally I have an insecurity about it. No matter what sexual relationship I get in, I ask more about my penis. If I hear a compliment, I "fish" for more and I never seem satisfied. If I don't hear anything, i get worried and become obsessed and ruin relationships. It's crazy.
     
  8. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    285
    Gender:
    Male
    Sir,

    I don't think I justify my "small" cock as you call it. I don't think I'm apologizing either. I'm just trying to thoughtfully share my experience and thoughts in a respectful manner. I guess I'm not sure why you have a problem with that. What do you mean by saying "stop trying to make up for it?" Your message seems mean spirited.
     
  9. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    285
    Gender:
    Male
    One more thing - why does it make some so angry to have a small or average guy share his honest insecurities related to his penis size?
     
  10. FrankPipeliner

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    41959, take a deep breath and calm down. i am neither being mean spirited nor am i angry that you share your insecurities. i have had ample opportunities to observe the sexual practices of both large and small cocked men. It is easy to be the large cocked guy in the room and equally easy to prey on weaker brethern. I have always held special respect for men who take charge of a sexual situation despite being the small guy in the crowd or having knowledge that his partner(s) has/ve likely been with more endowed men. This is all about attitude. Attitude comes from the brain matter; it instills confidence and breeds success. It is the antithesis of insecurity. This is what I meant by saying that your masculinity is in your head (the one on your shoulders). I urge you to get some attitute!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted