Yet another HPV thread

[size_is_relative]

So I'm sure this has been discussed a million times...but:

Last night I go on a date with this girl. End of the evening, we wind up back at my place, eventually naked (but not having sex). Suddenly she stops, and is like "I have a deal breaker". She then proceeds to tell me that she has HPV (the no warts kind she says). She kind of freaks out, gets super apologetic and is just like "I should go...I'm so sorry, I would never put you at risk, you deserve better than that" and leaves, won't even let me walk her to the subway.

So now I'm a little freaked out. I mean I'm pretty knowledgeable. I know the statistics, and that chances are I already have HPV (I've had less than a dozen partners...but still). But if I understand the things I've read in the past correctly, I'm never even going to know if I do, because there is no test for males. On the one hand, now that I know, I don't think I could go out with this girl again (I'm incredibly paranoid about STD's, and I'm pretty sure it would be a mental block) but on the other hand, if she hadn't told me, chances are it never would have mattered...right? I feel like I'm being an asshole if I don't want to see her again, but she was so sad and apologetic when she left that it was kind of heart breaking.

I don't even know if I'm looking for advice, or if I'm just ranting. I don't really have the kind of friends that I can call and be like "So guess what happened last night"...so I figure anonymous message board is the best I'm going to get.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

Umm...dude seriously I don't think she was afraid of giving you HPV...this girl just decided that for whatever reason she DID NOT want to have sex with you.

 

[eurotop40]

Get Gardasil.

 

[size_is_relative]

Umm...dude seriously I don't think she was afraid of giving you HPV...this girl just decided that for whatever reason she DID NOT want to have sex with you.

I'm not going to go into detail, but I'm quite certain that she's not making this up. But thanks for the unhelpful, dickish answer.

Get Gardasil.

And what good would that do? It's only a vaccine for women, it only works if you don't already have it, and it's only a vaccine for a couple of strains of HSV.

 

[eurotop40]

No, Gardasil has been also cleared for men by the FDA. ANd it protects against the worst strains of HPV and those that cause condylomata.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Maybe it wasn't HPV she had but something else, like herpes. :shrug: For whatever reason she didn't want to go and play around and you don't think you could see her again. Take it for what it's worth, it just wasn't meant to be. On the bright side though it did make you think about std's and educating yourself about this, and that can't be all bad!

Two HPV vaccines are currently on the market: Gardasil and Cervarix. And at least Gardasil has been approved for males.

HPV vaccine -in males

 

[D_Leotols Toy]

Pretty sure it's only approved for men outside of the US.

Anyways, high-risk HPV, which is what she'd have if there are no warts, is no real big deal to men except for the fact of spreading to another female, but in any case all you can do is wear a condom and protect yourself as much as possible.

Don't let it stop you from kicking things off with her though because that's probably how she feels everyone will think, that shes contaminated or something. I applaud her on the fact that she even told you, imagine being in her shoes.

HPV is practically inevitable in sexual beings, so don't look at it as something so dastardly and just go about things like you normally would.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

OK so you say you're really paranoid about STDs but you don't seem to be even talking about condom use in your post.... am I missing something ?

 

[AlphaMale]

HPV is a much bigger deal for females than it is for males... since it can lead to cervical cancer.

In males, some strains can lead to penile cancer... but as a male if you have HPV the worst that will probably happen is you will get a small wart(s) that needs to be removed.

==

Also HPV is the most commonly transmitted STD and not all types of HPV are transmitted sexually. As some others have mentioned, most people have the virus HPV... they just don't show the external signs of actually having it, which is a wart.

If you've ever had a wart anywhere on your body: that is regular HPV. Whether that was your hand, knee, foot, etc.

Again however, there are certains strands that are transmitted sexually only and can cause warts in your mouth or genitals area specifically.

Just like normal HPV, STI HPV also usually gets to the point where your body's own immune system suppresses the virus so much that you don't not get anymore warts.

 

[D_Leotols Toy]

You're on the right track Alpha, but let me reiterate. Having a wart is considered low-risk strain, not necessarily an external sign of it. It just merely means it's the non-cancer causing kind.

Males can have the high-risk, the only difference is that you cannot see it and never will be able to know, so in the OP's case worrying is just a waste of time.

If you have warts, then you have contracted a low-risk strain. Check up on cdc.gov if you're still worried or concerned

 

[AlphaMale]

You're on the right track Alpha, but let me reiterate. Having a wart is considered low-risk strain, not necessarily an external sign of it. It just merely means it's the non-cancer causing kind.

Males can have the high-risk, the only difference is that you cannot see it and never will be able to know, so in the OP's case worrying is just a waste of time.

If you have warts, then you have contracted a low-risk strain. Check up on cdc.gov if you're still worried or concerned

I did not know that, but that is very good to know. :smile:

Yeah the cdc info is where I learned basically everything I know. Kinda sucks you can't tell if you have the bad kind, but you can if you have the "ok" kinda.

 

[D_Leotols Toy]

Lol yea sadly enough I learned through misdiagnosis from a horrible local health clinic. That's what I get for it being free. Ended up telling me I had warts when I didn't so of course I became the HPV guru for no apparent reason -_-.

The good thing though is even with high-risk cancer forming hpv, most healthy adults immune system clear the virus anyways before reaching cervical cancer (if you get semi-annual pap smear). Thanks to a study done about 2 years ago they can now confirm that the body actually clears the virus, which it was thought that before that you could still have flare ups similar to herpes outbreaks.

 

[size_is_relative]

Don't let it stop you from kicking things off with her though because that's probably how she feels everyone will think, that shes contaminated or something. I applaud her on the fact that she even told you, imagine being in her shoes.

HPV is practically inevitable in sexual beings, so don't look at it as something so dastardly and just go about things like you normally would.

Yeah, that's the thing that is making this really rough for me. Like I said, I'm pretty well educated about STDs and what not and general, and I know how relatively not a big deal HPV is, but no matter how hard I try, it just kind of squicks me out knowing that she has it. I mean, if she never told me, and I never knew...I'd likely never care. But now that I do, I feel like I can't get past it.

As I said...I feel like an asshole.

OK so you say you're really paranoid about STDs but you don't seem to be even talking about condom use in your post.... am I missing something ?

At what point in my story would I be using a condom? The part where I'm not having sex with her? Or the part where she's getting up and leaving?

 

[D_Esmerelda Twincheeks]

Okay, so you hesitated when she mentioned it to you... Perfectly normal reaction.. No U are not an asshole you are being REAL & I personally would'nt ask for more then that.. Keep it as REAL as she did in telling you.. No misleading especially if you know yourself & know that it is something you cannot look past now that it's in your mind. Move on if U must but remember she was being just as REAL as you are being now in stating how you were left feeling. ;-)

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

At what point in my story would I be using a condom? The part where I'm not having sex with her? Or the part where she's getting up and leaving?

Yeah you're saying that you're paranoid about having sex with her in future, if you're wearing a condom why would you need to be ?

I mean you admit you know that a huge percentage of people carry this virus, possibly including yourself, so presumably you use a condom and have no strong reason to feel paranoid right ?

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

Because it aint disfiguring you don't have to worry. Interesting.

 

[oacliffbuddy]

I know it's a struggle for you in dealing with the info. It sucks to have to worry about or deal with a real STD. But don't lose sight of the struggle she's going through too. She actually told you so it must mean to some degree that she cared about you as a person and/or at least that she cares in general. How many don't?

Knowing the stigma attached to any STD, it can't have been easy for her to blurt out the truth after you're all the way down to skin and about ready to dip the wick. That was a pretty unselfish thing for her to do.

 

[D_Leotols Toy]

Yea, how would you have felt if she didn't tell you, had sex then you later found out?

This girl obviously had enough of a heart to tell you that. That takes a lot courage to do.
But if you can't get passed it then move on.