You dont like a nice guy?

[deleted848353]

Oh for the love of god

 

[Enid]

and who are you? ah one of the lpsg social warriors here to wreck another chat. why dont you leave out the insults and answer the thread. then again this thread has become nonsense now thanks to yall nasty attitude

Proud SJW

Who doesn't want justice?

People doing the oppressing, that's who.

And p.s. I answered this thread several times, in fact I even asked you a question which you never answered but sure, just keep on your lil soapbox buddy

 

[AlteredEgo]

It always confused me that women dont like "nice" guys. The cliche "bad' boy thing promotes men to be aggressive brats to the rest of society and i don't get how women want to encourage this. Being nice in public and all around being a pleasant guy has no reflection in their dominance in the bedroom. So when a girl says she wants a boyboy I just dont understand the appeal.

If a man makes our interactions feel transactional, then he will get just that from me. A transaction. It may not be the transaction he wants; I'm unlikely to reward such a dud with my exquisite vah-jeen and legendary head game. He can continue to ply me with his conditional "niceness" if there is some benefit to me. In return he gets whatever of myself I'm willing to give him. Maybe some day he will earn genuine friendship if he can grow the fuck up.

Meanwhile, I have never been involved with a man unless I thought he was a good man. I'm attracted by sincerity, humor, confidence, spontaneity, and yes, pretty teeth and smooth skin help. Here's something you might not know about every woman I have ever known. Girlhood is so fraught with inappropriate advances and gestures from men who try to decorate their true agendas to look like niceties. By the time most of you "nice guys" approach a woman she can already smell you. Even if she isn't consciously aware of the source of her discomfort, her experience lives in her sub-conscious telling her that phonies are not to be trusted.

Why would I fuck one of these dudes? No, that type can go fuck himself.

Oh. Mistakes can be made. I laid under a nice guy or two. They're harder to identify when they're actually crazy. For example, I very politely told this one guy that I didn't think we were good for each other, and that I didn't want to keep seeing him anymore. It was my diplomatic exit, but the truth was I had seen enough to realize I didn't think he was a good man, didn't think he could become a real partner to me, and as a result, I no longer liked him. All he was to me, at that point, was a fairly shitty lay to whom I'd given too many chances because I thought there was something there. But I didn't say that. I thanked him for the time we'd spent together, gently enumerated my reasons for believing we were ill-matched, and tried to end the affair.

He responded by telling me I was a whore (because I wasn't monogamous to him, even though I was forthright about wanting to continue my other adventures, and didn't want to be his girlfriend), he threatened me, then he told me he had been to a florist and a spa to look into buying me a gift. He texted me photos of business cards. He left hours of voicemail. He called and called. This is what the "nice" ones do. As Little Red Riding Hood learned in Into the Woods, "Nice is different than good!"

Don't be nice to me just to win my favor. Be good to yourself and others. I'll notice.

 

[ColonelLingus]

If a man makes our interactions feel transactional, then he will get just that from me. A transaction. It may not be the transaction he wants; I'm unlikely to reward such a dud with my exquisite vah-jeen and legendary head game. He can continue to ply me with his conditional "niceness" if there is some benefit to me. In return he gets whatever of myself I'm willing to give him. Maybe some day he will earn genuine friendship if he can grow the fuck up.

Meanwhile, I have never been involved with a man unless I thought he was a good man. I'm attracted by sincerity, humor, confidence, spontaneity, and yes, pretty teeth and smooth skin help. Here's something you might not know about every woman I have ever known. Girlhood is so fraught with inappropriate advances and gestures from men who try to decorate their true agendas to look like niceties. By the time most of you "nice guys" approach a woman she can already smell you. Even if she isn't consciously aware of the source of her discomfort, her experience lives in her sub-conscious telling her that phonies are not to be trusted.

Why would I fuck one of these dudes? No, that type can go fuck himself.

Oh. Mistakes can be made. I laid under a nice guy or two. They're harder to identify when they're actually crazy. For example, I very politely told this one guy that I didn't think we were good for each other, and that I didn't want to keep seeing him anymore. It was my diplomatic exit, but the truth was I had seen enough to realize I didn't think he was a good man, didn't think he could become a real partner to me, and as a result, I no longer liked him. All he was to me, at that point, was a fairly shitty lay to whom I'd given too many chances because I thought there was something there. But I didn't say that. I thanked him for the time we'd spent together, gently enumerated my reasons for believing we were ill-matched, and tried to end the affair.

He responded by telling me I was a whore (because I wasn't monogamous to him, even though I was forthright about wanting to continue my other adventures, and didn't want to be his girlfriend), he threatened me, then he told me he had been to a florist and a spa to look into buying me a gift. He texted me photos of business cards. He left hours of voicemail. He called and called. This is what the "nice" ones do. As Little Red Riding Hood learned in Into the Woods, "Nice is different than good!"

Don't be nice to me just to win my favor. Be good to yourself and others. I'll notice.

best answer so far. Thank yoU!!

I agree that "nice" can often be a mask of whats really under it all. I suppose I was curious as to the old and proven dismiss of a nice guy over a bad guy that women seem to flock to. I think your answer treating it as a transactional exchange might be the reason. Im still trying to understand why (from a male perspective) some couples seem so obviously toxic like "why is she with this creep of a human being who is wrong for her in so many ways) and she cant see it. That isnt subjective as much as provable (picking up hideous habits, becoming all around mean to others, devolving as a human being). I see it every once and while and internally shake my head.
And then you see the guy whos got his shit together, intelligent, friendly, nice, has everything going for him probably a bigger dick than the neaderthall shes prone to. And yet dismissed. My theory is women with low self esteem go for the abusive wrong for them type of guys.

Think about some of the "nice" guys youve dismissed in your lives and ask yourself- why would that have been bad for me?
We see right out the gate in this thread alone- theyre labeled by some women as "wimpy" "non assertive" and why- for being overly helpful and encouraging which is perceived as somewhat fem and a turn off. Perfect example is in the movie sixteen candles we see Ducky put in the friend zone and yet he was there for her. He was a perfect match for her but she was essentially turned off by it. She wanted the guy who treated her like shit.

In fact just last week a guy showed me his interaction with this girl on tinder. He started with " you said youre thin in your profile. you look fat." She was on that like a fly to a shit. Her follow up was that he sexy and she wanted to know him. He continued to sort of jab and push her away and she was even more interested. I was taking mental notes until i said wait- I dont like that shit. I dont talk to people that way nor do i want it in return. But to each their own.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

She basically said the same thing the rest of us said.

What a

 

[AlteredEgo]

best answer so far. Thank yoU!!

I agree that "nice" can often be a mask of whats really under it all. I suppose I was curious as to the old and proven dismiss of a nice guy over a bad guy that women seem to flock to. I think your answer treating it as a transactional exchange might be the reason. Im still trying to understand why (from a male perspective) some couples seem so obviously toxic like "why is she with this creep of a human being who is wrong for her in so many ways) and she cant see it. That isnt subjective as much as provable (picking up hideous habits, becoming all around mean to others, devolving as a human being). I see it every once and while and internally shake my head.
And then you see the guy whos got his shit together, intelligent, friendly, nice, has everything going for him probably a bigger dick than the neaderthall shes prone to. And yet dismissed. My theory is women with low self esteem go for the abusive wrong for them type of guys.

Think about some of the "nice" guys youve dismissed in your lives and ask yourself- why would that have been bad for me?
We see right out the gate in this thread alone- theyre labeled by some women as "wimpy" "non assertive" and why- for being overly helpful and encouraging which is perceived as somewhat fem and a turn off. Perfect example is in the movie sixteen candles we see Ducky put in the friend zone and yet he was there for her. He was a perfect match for her but she was essentially turned off by it. She wanted the guy who treated her like shit.

In fact just last week a guy showed me his interaction with this girl on tinder. He started with " you said youre thin in your profile. you look fat." She was on that like a fly to a shit. Her follow up was that he sexy and she wanted to know him. He continued to sort of jab and push her away and she was even more interested. I was taking mental notes until i said wait- I dont like that shit. I dont talk to people that way nor do i want it in return. But to each their own.

Codependency. Rather than the male whose perception is in question obsessing over the women he deserves for being so nice seeming to prefer assholes, he should worry about his own sense of entitlement, and wonder why he is constantly attracted to women with unhealthy emotional needs (such as other men with unhealthy emotional needs of their own). This whole, "I'm so nice, so why do the women I deserve choose men I don't approve of over me?" is lame. Ultimately, this is the thought process you describe as your own in some of your threads. It isn't nice. You aren't better than those "other" guys. Different, doesn't mean better. Entitlement is for slaveholders. It's ugly. Don't you want it to be beneath you?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Think about some of the "nice" guys youve dismissed in your lives and ask yourself- why would that have been bad for me?

I forgot to respond to this. I already addressed this in the quoted text. I don't date/fuck guys who aren't physically attractive to me, and who aren't compatible with my expectations of a man. I expect a man to be kind to himself, to others, and especially to me. I expect a man to be responsible fiscally, environmentally, and to be accountable regarding his word. It takes time to learn this about a man. At first glance, I just want to find him good looking, funny, confident, spontaneous, and articulate. These things are easy to spot on sight and a man can flash these traits or he cannot.

I will not tolerate disrespect. I won't tolerate it at the first meeting. I won't tolerate it a year later.

You keep wondering what you wonder, but you seem to be doing your wondering from an unhealthy perch. I encourage you to reevaluate everything you've been saying here, and not just in this thread.

 

[Enid]

best answer so far. Thank yoU!!

I agree that "nice" can often be a mask of whats really under it all. I suppose I was curious as to the old and proven dismiss of a nice guy over a bad guy that women seem to flock to. I think your answer treating it as a transactional exchange might be the reason. Im still trying to understand why (from a male perspective) some couples seem so obviously toxic like "why is she with this creep of a human being who is wrong for her in so many ways) and she cant see it. That isnt subjective as much as provable (picking up hideous habits, becoming all around mean to others, devolving as a human being). I see it every once and while and internally shake my head.
And then you see the guy whos got his shit together, intelligent, friendly, nice, has everything going for him probably a bigger dick than the neaderthall shes prone to. And yet dismissed. My theory is women with low self esteem go for the abusive wrong for them type of guys.

Think about some of the "nice" guys youve dismissed in your lives and ask yourself- why would that have been bad for me?
We see right out the gate in this thread alone- theyre labeled by some women as "wimpy" "non assertive" and why- for being overly helpful and encouraging which is perceived as somewhat fem and a turn off. Perfect example is in the movie sixteen candles we see Ducky put in the friend zone and yet he was there for her. He was a perfect match for her but she was essentially turned off by it. She wanted the guy who treated her like shit.

In fact just last week a guy showed me his interaction with this girl on tinder. He started with " you said youre thin in your profile. you look fat." She was on that like a fly to a shit. Her follow up was that he sexy and she wanted to know him. He continued to sort of jab and push her away and she was even more interested. I was taking mental notes until i said wait- I dont like that shit. I dont talk to people that way nor do i want it in return. But to each their own.

One "nice" guy I dismissed was because he disrespected me by inviting his parents to a 2nd date who gave me the 3rd degree. Unbeknownst to me! That he was inviting his parents to our nice seafood grill date. I hadn't even kissed him, what was he thinking. Any small semblance of interest in getting to know him more in the romantic sense disappeared right out the window.

16 candles is fiction, ducky's character is adorable and awkward and gorgeous, but he's not right for her because she doesn't like him like that. Isn't it okay anymore to not be attracted to someone? I won't speak to her involvement with James Spader character, that's a whole basket of worms I have troubles with.

 

[AlteredEgo]

One "nice" guy I dismissed was because he disrespected me by inviting his parents to a 2nd date who gave me the 3rd degree. Unbeknownst to me! That he was inviting his parents to our nice seafood grill date. I hadn't even kissed him, what was he thinking. Any small semblance of interest in getting to know him more in the romantic sense disappeared right out the window.

16 candles is fiction, ducky's character is adorable and awkward and gorgeous, but he's not right for her because she doesn't like him like that. Isn't it okay anymore to not be attracted to someone? I won't speak to her involvement with James Spader character, that's a whole basket of worms I have troubles with.

There was this nice guy. He wanted to invest money in my business ideas and mentor me. This might have been fine if we'd meet some other way, with some other intentions. I met him on a dating site. I made it clear I was a few months out of a six year relationship and still reeling. I expressed that I was looking for regular casual sex with someone who might someday become my friend. Friend. I'm a good saleswoman and my elevator speech skills are dope, but that's just weird. He also wanted me to immediately stop fucking the other two men I was seeing, and come with him on a cruise. With his mother. For two weeks. We had not yet met in person. The cruise was a month away.

Honestly, he might have been able to mentor me. When I googled him, I found he was successful in that specific field which encompassed my ideas. I weighed that possibility when I dismissed him. I also thought he was probably a creep who was three more rejections away from dismembering women who resemble his mother in the basement. Well. Two more. Because I was like nah, Dude, I'm out. I'm sure I'm one of his anecdotes about how women don't want nice guys. As is typical, he called a few times too many after I already told him no.

That's not a nice guy. He was smart. He was adorable with his dorky sense of humor. He was a little too spontaneous with wanting me to go from zero to life mate in three phone calls.

And before some guy chastises me for wanting spontaneity and yet rejecting him for his, contrast with this. Hot, charming chemistry researcher, with a passion for entymology, photography and swallowing my orgasms called upon me to request a first date. Our conversations had given him the general vicinity of my apartment, so he parked across from what turned out to be my building, called me, and invited me to watch and photograph a meteor shower. Still one of the best dates I've been on.

 

[ColonelLingus]

y

She basically said the same thing the rest of us said.

What a

yea i dont remember her hurling verbal abuse at me but sure.

 

[ColonelLingus]

Oh for the love of god

this is the best answer in here thank you.

 

[1365373]

swallowing my orgasms

??? I must be getting old!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

y

yea i dont remember her hurling verbal abuse at me but sure.

The first posts in this thread were completely lacking in any insult at all. You kept dismissing us, and trying to hide the insults you were hurling at US. Even *my* first post here was nothing more than sincere. I didn't insult you at all.

I stand by all my posts in this thread. You are a turd.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Just because I used profanity doesn't mean I was personally insulting you.

Not in my first post, anyway.

 

[ColonelLingus]

The first posts in this thread were completely lacking in any insult at all. You kept dismissing us, and trying to hide the insults you were hurling at US. Even *my* first post here was nothing more than sincere. I didn't insult you at all.

I stand by all my posts in this thread. You are a turd.

can you imagine if i signed up to a vagina support website and insulted women on the website on a consistent basis? Double standard.

you wish i was a turd then youd have some dinner tonight

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

This is why I don't care about your attempt to act like you're so victimized by the women here:

This whole thread was intended to be nothing more than a collective insult to women's intelligence and ability to choose a decent, good partner.

Go away now. For the sake of all of us. Don't you have something better to do here than insult women's abilities to make life choices?

 

[AlteredEgo]

??? I must be getting old!

I don't know you and can neither concur nor dissent. Of my own writing I will say that I felt that was a fairly digestible reference to cunnilingus. Are you bone dry at climax? I am not, and I am also very juicy enroute to orgasm, so there is plenty to lap up and swallow.

 

[1365373]

I don't know you and can neither concur nor dissent. Of my own writing I will say that I felt that was a fairly digestible reference to cunnilingus. Are you bone dry at climax? I am not, and I am also very juicy enroute to orgasm, so there is plenty to lap up and swallow.

Ha, ha! No! Au contraire! Not that old yet!

Just wondering how that activity preceded him asking for a first date so thought there was some other meaning I missed! See now you weren't implying time sequence.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Ha, ha! No! Au contraire! Not that old yet!

Just wondering how that activity preceded him asking for a first date so thought there was some other meaning I missed! See now you weren't implying time sequence.

Haha! No, no. Those were all traits learned over time. All I knew when I met him to watch shooting stars was he was good looking, resourceful, a scientist, and a bit of an oddball. I found him interesting, and when he turned up in my neighborhood and pressed me for a date I was flattered and found him exciting.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Ya know what - I don’t know how you get away at this site with verbally abusing people on a consistent basis. Acting like a feminist warrior with nothing to argue but insults and aggression towards men. I see why you need a guy to be a douche to get off- like attracts like. I just find it gross. Act like a women once and while instead of a being Whiney bitch how bout that

Only whiny bitch (learn to spell or pay attention to auto correct) I see is you, OP.