You ever been so in love with someone, it hurts?

Dragon88

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yes, i have... and i still do. i love him so much and i don't think i ever will stop loving him.
 

MissMynx

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Too many times - but what doesn't break you makes you stronger I figure ... no matter how bad the hurt/despair etc ... it's always the darkest right before dawn ...
 

Chase1600

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Crying’s good. Sometimes people cry about very sweet things.

You are at the ideal age to first experience these emotions. It must be even worse for young teenagers, but about age 19 we have come to be mature enough in our development that it is appropriate that our feelings move beyond ourselves and we develop strong attractions to others.

I read your other post as well. There’s more than a little going on, isn’t there? So be sure and give yourself a break and take some time.

Leaving aside your reference to “a lot of other personal problems I’m dealing with” let’s just consider these two obvious issues. I take it that you have not previously considered yourself to be someone who might ever be in a relationship with another guy. In addition, this new guy already has someone else and you are uncomfortable getting involved.

I’ll make a guess here that you have no one in real life with whom you can discuss these issues. If you haven’t considered yourself potentially gay, you probably don’t have close relationships with any gay guys with whom you could discuss all of this.

If you do, the thing I would recommend is to bring a real life person, whom you have known sometime, with whom you could be comfortable, and share with them.

But if I read correctly, if you are wondering if you are not indeed gay, I would discourage you to discuss this with someone who has always known you to be straight. Not yet. You’ll be adding problems rather than solving them.

If you really need real life contact, check on-line or in a phone directory for a gay hotline. If none is near, so what, look for one in San Francisco or whatever, it wouldn’t matter. It can help to just talk through upsetting and confusing things.

I can’t begin to tell you how to deal with the issue of your fellow’s other fellow. Who knows? It may not be serious, and you may not be in a position of causing harm. Suppose it is. You wouldn’t want to do that.

Were that not an issue to take seriously, I think it would be easier to offer advice. Were it so, I would tell you to decide for yourself how you would feel about yourself if you had a same sex relationship. If you are comfortable with the idea, depending upon your other values, I would encourage you to go for it. However it would play out, you would probably find it easier to deal with real things than to deal with hypothetical issues.

Contemplate something. What has been your experience with intimacy? You don’t have to answer that question to anyone else. Simply ask it yourself. Have you ever felt this way for another person? Do you really want to be intimate with this person? What kind of sexual experiences have you had, and if any, how did you feel about the emotion of intimacy as opposed to simply performing a sexual act?

I wonder if thinking about it that way might not help sort out what’s on your mind.
 

despereaux

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I've talked about it to several people i trust.

One of them was in the same situtation i was in, but instead she was the one dating..and things didn't turn out too well for her.

She told me that she was just bi-curious. I think I may be too :/ the things she told me were almost like mine. She got over it and dates guys i guess now. Idk what she really went through but eh.

It's not easy when we keep texting each other...i shut my phone off...so i don't talk to people..and i get messages.. I can't change my number because i'm not allowed to..so i guess i'll deal with it for now...
 

Wish-4-8

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Yes, and that is how you know it was true love. When it hurts. When you are vuneralbe. Especailly when you "man-up" and are still torn apart.
A line from the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (in referance to Roger Rabbit)
"What, one too many refrigerators land on his head?"
"You could drop anything on his head and he will just shake it off. But break his heart, and he will go down just like you and me."
 

psychodrama

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Yeah, once. About 4 years ago. I don't think it will happen again. Perhaps I've been too 'positive' about how relationships can mature and last longer than what other people experienced, as if I'm lucky, which is actually not the case.

If I sounded bitter, then perhaps I am. Its hard to fall in love and giving your 100% and not getting even half of it. I am still trying to tell myself that yeah, I love someone and gave my all for free, so why should I resent the fact that i did? I guess, it still hurts to remember.
 

akonikeoni

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yes, going through it right now. he's the perfect guy, everyone thinks we make the perfect couple. i'm not sure where things changed but it hurts the most when you know you want to be with him, and you know he has feelings for you, but for whatever reason he says he can't be with you. hopefully we will remain friends because i don't want to lose him out of my life forever but only time will tell. all i know is that it sucks and i wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone.
 

BiItalianBro

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Yes...a few times. Let yourself go through the stages of loss (denial,anger, bargaining,depression & acceptance) and talk it out with people you trust.....and as the cliche goes, "time heals all wounds". When you are in the middle of it the outlook appears bleak, but trust us when we say it WILL get better over time.

Lemmie just throw it out there from personal experience...getting stuck in, say...anger...is not a good place to be. It is ok to be angry, it is not ok to act out based on anger.
 
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