You give more oral sex or get more oral sex

[ArtfulDominant]

Chrysalis -- that's a great story of you having the insight, desire and the tenacity to cast off the limiting mantras you were burdened with ... and to discover pure pleasure where you previously hadn't expected to find it. Your body was there before, but when your mind expanded, you really kicked it into overdrive. I think it shows that there's a lot of hope for many people who aren't getting much out of sex (or a particular aspect of it).

And you've got such a great narrative voive -- the way you ended your little vignette ...

"Where in the hell did you learn to do that?" he said, leaning against the dresser because his legs had gone all wobbly. "Um...from books?" I said, thinking of the Erotica. "Keep reading those!" he gasped

When are we going to be treated to some excerpts from the fiction you're working on?

 

[rob_just_rob]

This thread is making me want a blowjob.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

A couple past lovers were not keen on giving oral. The pattern i've noticed is that they will gave it the first time or two during sex but stopped shortly thereafter. When asked, both said they're just not that oral and I think they were telling me the truth. Neither were big on receiving oral nearly as much as fucking.

I've heard women say that before, that previous lovers only seemed to do it out of obligation. Bizarre.

 

[hot-rod]

I love giving oral to my wife, the slippery smooth skin and folds, the way her body moves in reaction to my ministrations. Over the years I would say that the ratio is slightly higher for my giving versus receiving. We both enjoy oral sex and I offer more times than she will take me up. I have told her for years that she is welcome to wake me up anytime by sitting on my face, she has only taken me up on that offer twice in 32 years, the last time was a couple of months ago and she expressed surprise that I would be willing to lick her to orgasm and not want or need anything in return. How little she understands that I am willing please her whenever and however I can.

LOL LOL Noooo waaaay LOL LOL

 

[Mr. Snakey]

50/50. As with anything else in relationship.:smile:

 

[LongTimeComing]

Chrysalis, you described exactly the only kind of blow job I want to get. I don't want it if it is a chore for my partner, or even if she rather enjoys it but is really just doing it for me. I want her to adore my cock. I want her to worship it, make love to it, need it, own it.... I want her to think of nothing but my cock in her mouth and her hands, and her THINKING she will be satisfied when she finally tastes my cum, only to find that the taste of my cum has made her simply need to be fucked silly (once I can get hard again, of course).

 

[Chrysalis]

When are we going to be treated to some excerpts from the fiction you're working on?

Soon. :wink:

Chrysalis, you described exactly the only kind of blow job I want to get. I don't want it if it is a chore for my partner, or even if she rather enjoys it but is really just doing it for me. I want her to adore my cock. I want her to worship it, make love to it, need it, own it.... I want her to think of nothing but my cock in her mouth and her hands, and her THINKING she will be satisfied when she finally tastes my cum, only to find that the taste of my cum has made her simply need to be fucked silly (once I can get hard again, of course).

Buy your current partner (or next one, if you don't have one right now) some erotic romance novels. If you end up being really serious about doing that, PM me and I can make some "starter" recommendations.

 

[SwordSwallower]

I definitely prefer to be on the giving end of oral, whether it's with my wife, or another guy (or both!). Dont get me wrong, I enjoy receiving, but I find endless fascination and enjoyment from giving, and I'm told my skills continue to improve with practice!

 

[Amygirl]

50/50 or close enough to it. One of our favourite bits of foreplay is a myriad of variations on the classic 69. The challenge being who loses control first is the loser.

I usually lose. My concentration goes to hell when a tongue hits the right spot.:biggrin1:

 

[Amygirl]

I've heard women say that before, that previous lovers only seemed to do it out of obligation. Bizarre.

It seems like most men fall into that category. I'm sure they are more willing than that but after comparing the male lovers I've had to the female lovers, the guys lose hands down when it comes to going down.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I was going to say that I am orally fixated, but I think it's a little more complicated than that. For me there are two top ways to "commune" with a woman's sexuality, and they are with either my face or my cock buried inside her. So it is not really a case of giving at all for me.

 

[swordfishME]

I get a lot more oral sex simply because I have a lot of just oral sex encounters. With the wife I give more oral sex because penetration is impossible unless she has orgazmed 2 maybe 3 times already...

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Im much happier giving than recieving. It takes me a very, very long time to get to a point where i can full relax and enjoy a mans head between my legs

 

[tiff86]

I am more of a giver because oral to me is neutral...but much more a taker as peneration goes wanting much he gives to me. I do love to receive a lot.

I'm like that too cuz I give oral way more than I get which is really fine w/me. To be honest oral feels OK to me but it's not a big deal and I can't orgasm from it, kinda like "neutral" just like you said. Also my bf doesn't like doing it so he doesn't usually give me oral which is fine like I said. Giving a blowjob is not really my favorite thing but he really likes receiving so I do that a lot. I think I wasn't very good at it but I've gotten a lot better. My favorite thing about it is I feel him getting harder and bigger and I start thinking about how amazing the sex is gonna feel and I get really excited. :smile: I'm like you Gisella I am definitely a taker with penetration, I like as much as he gives me. When I give him oral he gets so hard and big and then I get the reward when he goes in me :biggrin1: .

 

[RoyalT]

I know most women are the givers in a relationship in all fascets. I was thinking if that is in oral sex too.
Personally I love giving more than I get. I love doing it and I wish I could do it longer

I get offered a blowjob a lot more often than I get asked to lick a girl out. Sadly. My tongue is so weak I can barely talk now :tongue:

It needs exercise.

 

[cockamania]

I'll admit that from the time I was a teenager until about...maybe a year and a half ago?...I wasn't that great at it. I was good, but not great. And it did take a lot longer to get him off that way than with intercourse. Part of the problem was that I was still living under the fundamentalist religious shadow I grew up with. My church youth group leader taught that married sex is good, but that oral and anal activities are "not what God intended."

I also believe I was influenced by a cultural phenomenon. I've observed that there seems to be an unwritten "rule" that women are supposed to be afraid of or repulsed by cocks, and that "Good Girl's Don't." Somehow, this gets passed from mother to daughter (and from friend to friend)? I'm not sure what started it, but I know it's very prevalent.

What turned the tide for me was throwing off that mantle and giving myself permission to adore the male body, and especially the penis. Reading Erotica definitely helped -- I realized that other women liked cocks, and found them beautiful, so I wasn't so strange, after all.

So, on a perfectly ordinary day last year, all of a sudden, I really, really wanted to suck my husband's cock. I didn't just want to "please" him. I didn't just want to engage in some selfless, sacrificial act. I actually wanted his cock in my mouth.

That day, when I did it, for the first time ever I really put my heart into it. My long-time habit had been to work the top part of the penis with my mouth, and the bottom part with my hand (because I couldn't get it in my mouth too far without gagging). And although I'm sure that felt pretty good (and I still use the technique sometimes), I decided that day to see what would happen if I didn't use my hands at all. I discovered I could take much more of him if I really wanted to, and that it was exciting. I was getting off on it almost as much as he was. Then, out of the blue, the thought came to me that "maybe this would be even better for him if my mouth felt more like a vagina." So I started experimenting with ways to use my tongue more effectively. Needless to say, as my first "good" blow job, it still wasn't equal to what I can do now. But it was worlds away from what I had done up to that point. He was staggered. "Where in the hell did you learn to do that?" he said, leaning against the dresser because his legs had gone all wobbly. "Um...from books?" I said, thinking of the Erotica.

"Keep reading those!" he gasped. :biggrin1:

I think this is what is wrong with my wife too. She is a pastors daughter and I was her first boyfriend even. She had also been maolested as a teen. So I thik she has the same feelings as you did. Sex seems to sometimes be more of a chore to her.

 

[Chrysalis]

I think this is what is wrong with my wife too. She is a pastors daughter and I was her first boyfriend even. She had also been maolested as a teen. So I thik she has the same feelings as you did. Sex seems to sometimes be more of a chore to her.

Has she seen a therapist about her molestation? I have a female friend who went through that, and really couldn't have a normal sex life until she got her anger out (she was molested repeatedly by a teacher).

If she seems to have worked through those issues, it may be worth it for the two of you to see a sex therapist together. I hate to see a woman rejecting her own sexuality, especially if there's a possibility of her overcoming the problem.

 

[OmahaBeef]

I know most women are the givers in a relationship in all fascets.

Speak for yourself...

That said, I crave performing oral on a woman like a tiger craves the gazzelle. I love it in so many ways it would take me forever. It's the women who usually have to stop me, not vice-versa.

I have had few great head-givers myself, but thats not necessarily their fault. More or less an anatomical mis-match.

...OB

 

[cockamania]

Has she seen a therapist about her molestation? I have a female friend who went through that, and really couldn't have a normal sex life until she got her anger out (she was molested repeatedly by a teacher).

If she seems to have worked through those issues, it may be worth it for the two of you to see a sex therapist together. I hate to see a woman rejecting her own sexuality, especially if there's a possibility of her overcoming the problem.

Thank you this is a great idea.
I do not think she has dealt with it.
Sex does not seem exciting to her, and she is rarely horny or desiring it. I want her to be like you Chrys and just about beg for it.

 

[D_Cliddorne Clitknocker]

Sounds like I'm the exception to the rule, in my current relationship I definitely give more than I get.....as in none at least the past few months. And as a consequence I have not been as active giving as I used to....a vicious cycle.