Guess I'll have to come out of the closet on this one. Ha, ha...whatever. Anyway, as a mostly straight man that has been with a near equal many of both, when pertaining to bj's anyway, I tend to think I have a more unique view. Most of the bj's I've had from women sucked, while most of the bj's I've had from men were slightly better. Unfortunately most of the women quite frankly appeared not into it, or at least not into it with me. So I don't think they were bad at it necessarily because they were, but more because they just didn't want to do it. Men are maybe better because they generally seemed more into doing it. Only a few were what I'd consider good though, and none gave me a great bj. The only truly great bj's I've ever gotten were by women though. I suspect it may be more a thing with me though. Men just seemed too practical with me, while the few women were more experimental, inquisitive, exploratory, and had more technique. Basically men get right to the point, while women generally take their time and use everything they have. Women also use their tongues and especially there hands a lot, while I can't recall any man ever using anything but his mouth. Women have a much better touch generally too. Might be because their hands are generally smaller, I don't know, but women know how to touch, while men seem clueless to me. So I guess men have been more efficient, but simply lack the unique nuances that a truly willinging women can have. Now mind you I usually wasn't complaining either way. I'm pretty easy usually in most cases, and it's not like a begger can be especially that choosey.
"You is, or You Ain't or You Do Both"
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Guess I'll have to come out of the closet on this one. Ha, ha...whatever. Anyway, as a mostly straight man that has been with a near equal many of both, when pertaining to bj's anyway, I tend to think I have a more unique view. Most of the bj's I've had from women sucked, while most of the bj's I've had from men were slightly better. Unfortunately most of the women quite frankly appeared not into it, or at least not into it with me. So I don't think they were bad at it necessarily because they were, but more because they just didn't want to do it. Men are maybe better because they generally seemed more into doing it. Only a few were what I'd consider good though, and none gave me a great bj. The only truly great bj's I've ever gotten were by women though. I suspect it may be more a thing with me though. Men just seemed too practical with me, while the few women were more experimental, inquisitive, exploratory, and had more technique. Basically men get right to the point, while women generally take their time and use everything they have. Women also use their tongues and especially there hands a lot, while I can't recall any man ever using anything but his mouth. Women have a much better touch generally too. Might be because their hands are generally smaller, I don't know, but women know how to touch, while men seem clueless to me. So I guess men have been more efficient, but simply lack the unique nuances that a truly willinging women can have. Now mind you I usually wasn't complaining either way. I'm pretty easy usually in most cases, and it's not like a begger can be especially that choosey.
Lex
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Thanks, Snnozan.
People prefer getting head from the people they prefer getting head from. If my male buddies prefer my head over their GF's that just means they are bi or gay, not that I give better head. Skill has nothing to do with it- it is an issue of desire.
I don't (at this point) care how much skill a woman has, I prefer a man on me.
Next.
Much very good insight DeeBlackthorne. I like the original discussion more than the competition over blowjobs. I know the topic has been done to death, but I'm supposing the reason it keeps coming back is because it's interesting to people.
I've often been attracted to specific individuals as much as to one sex or the other. I identify as mostly gay, but I am definitely not attracted to every other guy that I see. But, I've have several friends who are attracted to about every third woman that they see. It just doesn't matter very much as long as they are height/weight proportional and like them back.
I've often been attracted to specific individuals as much as to one sex or the other. I identify as mostly gay, but I am definitely not attracted to every other guy that I see. But, I've have several friends who are attracted to about every third woman that they see. It just doesn't matter very much as long as they are height/weight proportional and like them back.
For a lot of us, well for me anyway, half the pleasure of a blowjob comes from the intimacy between me and the girl going down on me. I love to see her beautiful face kissing, licking, even just staring at it in lust. The attraction she has for my cock is such a powerful turn on.
No matter how good a man is at giving BJ's, it would not be the same without the beautiful lust filled female face.
And the question seems to revolve around just how involved you can get with someone. I think to be totally into someone you have to like them for more than just the sex. You need to respect them as a partner, care about their emotional needs, and have an urge to want companionship with the person.
And to be fair, you can only know your personal preferences to such an extent. It's probably not appropriate, but I take people to task when they make "Never" and "Always" statements about who they are into. What's to say that you meet someone someday who has you thrown for such a loop that it totally defies your past behavior? I'm not saying you're instantly (gay or straight) in that case, but you can't be too certain about your future.
I guess I'm framing my argument out of personal experience, but that's the most sense I've made out of it thus far.
Someone left a comment on my entry entitled "Evolving Out of Bisexuality" and said, "Your soulmate will probably be a woman," and then I was thanked for my self-disclosure. I'm likely to agree; then again, even if my tastes have changed over the years, I've still got my eyes open. In any case, I'll take a good friend or a confidante anywhere I can find it, even if my pants stay zipped up.
And to be fair, you can only know your personal preferences to such an extent. It's probably not appropriate, but I take people to task when they make "Never" and "Always" statements about who they are into. What's to say that you meet someone someday who has you thrown for such a loop that it totally defies your past behavior? I'm not saying you're instantly (gay or straight) in that case, but you can't be too certain about your future.
I guess I'm framing my argument out of personal experience, but that's the most sense I've made out of it thus far.
Someone left a comment on my entry entitled "Evolving Out of Bisexuality" and said, "Your soulmate will probably be a woman," and then I was thanked for my self-disclosure. I'm likely to agree; then again, even if my tastes have changed over the years, I've still got my eyes open. In any case, I'll take a good friend or a confidante anywhere I can find it, even if my pants stay zipped up.
I put 10% gay mainly cuz its ok for me to occasionally look at a cock online and liking seeing nice big ones while watching porn. And also, i guess its cuz of my past a little bit. I made out with 2 or 3 guys in high school but i didnt get too excited and i was slighty drunk. And also when i was like 13-14, i actually thought i was gay. But that passed but a bit might still remain?
Anyone else remember the Kinsey studies of sexuality from back in the 1940's and '50's? They claimed most people aren't completely hetero or homo, and came up with the "Kinsey Scale" of sexuality, where 0 is exclusively hetero and 6 is exclusively homo. Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
My opinion: I think to a degree, sexuality is fluid rather than fixed, but that men tend to be more fixed in their orientation than women.
I know quite a few women who have "switched" (some back and forth), but I can't think of any men I know who truly changed sexual orientation.
My opinion: I think to a degree, sexuality is fluid rather than fixed, but that men tend to be more fixed in their orientation than women.
I know quite a few women who have "switched" (some back and forth), but I can't think of any men I know who truly changed sexual orientation.
Thanks to this post-victorian puritanical age we live in, most people have a hard time grasping the realities of human sexuality simply because their own sexual experiences have been too limited to give them the proper perspective.
The human animal is inherently bisexual, as evidenced by the fact that there even are gay people, straight people and the rough majority of people who would fall somewhere in between. How people identify their own sexuality has to do with where their personal preferences happen to lie, social influences and many other factors. Often you'll find that all the sexual experiences that a person enjoys or would be open to experience cast a wider net than that which would fall under exclusively "gay" or "straight" behavior.
There's a lot of "conventional wisdom," as snoozan pointed out, that has sprung up around the issue, much of which can be misleading, stereotypical or just altogether wrong. It's been my experience that the way many people identify their sexual orientation is still very much affected by the lingering and pervasive stigma associated with being gay. There also seems to be quite a bit of a double standard, as far as how "okay" it is to be gay for men as opposed to women.
You don't have to look far to see what I'm referring to. There's another thread on this forum that's been active recently where the OP posted something to the effect of "I'm straight but I love to suck hot, hard cock." Practically the whole rest of that thread (which was quite popular, as everyone was throwing their two cents in, left and right) was comprised of people castigating the OP. "Come on, man! If you enjoy sucking cock, then you're a HOMO! Just be honest with yourself and admit it!"
This is the way people are aculturated to think in modern Western civilization. Girls can have as many lesbian experiences as they want, and no one will call their pervasive heterosexuality into question. "It was college. All girls do that." But, if any man has even one homosexual experience that he . . . heavens, forfend . . . should happen to enjoy, he's a closet homo and there's no two ways about it. Funny, how it doesn't work the other way. I'm a gay man who's had a fair few sexual experiences with woman that made for rather fond memories. But, I'd lay odds that no one's gonna try to call me out as a closeted hetero, after I post this. :tongue:
The idea that a guy can't enjoy BJs or full-on sex with other men without being a closet-case or, at least bi, is homophobic. Admittedly, it's probably the most benign form of homophobia you're likely to encounter, but it is homopobia nonetheless. That's what the term "heteroflexible" was invented for, after all.
It's also interesting, I think, to point out that most of the posters who assured that OP that he was realy just a gay man in denial about his sexuality were men with "100% straight" listed in their profile and women. I'm sorry, but unless you're a man whose sexual experiences comprise both genders, your opinion on whether some guy is gay, or not, counts for nothing. Just, FYI. :biggrin1:
The human animal is inherently bisexual, as evidenced by the fact that there even are gay people, straight people and the rough majority of people who would fall somewhere in between. How people identify their own sexuality has to do with where their personal preferences happen to lie, social influences and many other factors. Often you'll find that all the sexual experiences that a person enjoys or would be open to experience cast a wider net than that which would fall under exclusively "gay" or "straight" behavior.
There's a lot of "conventional wisdom," as snoozan pointed out, that has sprung up around the issue, much of which can be misleading, stereotypical or just altogether wrong. It's been my experience that the way many people identify their sexual orientation is still very much affected by the lingering and pervasive stigma associated with being gay. There also seems to be quite a bit of a double standard, as far as how "okay" it is to be gay for men as opposed to women.
You don't have to look far to see what I'm referring to. There's another thread on this forum that's been active recently where the OP posted something to the effect of "I'm straight but I love to suck hot, hard cock." Practically the whole rest of that thread (which was quite popular, as everyone was throwing their two cents in, left and right) was comprised of people castigating the OP. "Come on, man! If you enjoy sucking cock, then you're a HOMO! Just be honest with yourself and admit it!"
This is the way people are aculturated to think in modern Western civilization. Girls can have as many lesbian experiences as they want, and no one will call their pervasive heterosexuality into question. "It was college. All girls do that." But, if any man has even one homosexual experience that he . . . heavens, forfend . . . should happen to enjoy, he's a closet homo and there's no two ways about it. Funny, how it doesn't work the other way. I'm a gay man who's had a fair few sexual experiences with woman that made for rather fond memories. But, I'd lay odds that no one's gonna try to call me out as a closeted hetero, after I post this. :tongue:
The idea that a guy can't enjoy BJs or full-on sex with other men without being a closet-case or, at least bi, is homophobic. Admittedly, it's probably the most benign form of homophobia you're likely to encounter, but it is homopobia nonetheless. That's what the term "heteroflexible" was invented for, after all.
It's also interesting, I think, to point out that most of the posters who assured that OP that he was realy just a gay man in denial about his sexuality were men with "100% straight" listed in their profile and women. I'm sorry, but unless you're a man whose sexual experiences comprise both genders, your opinion on whether some guy is gay, or not, counts for nothing. Just, FYI. :biggrin1:
Lex
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We are all masculine and feminine. These are not traits on the opposite end of one spectrum, but rather two different scales and we all fall along each of them in a different way. This is how there can be masculine gay men, feminine straight men, masculine straight women and everything in between. Think of it as Yin and Yang. Different and complimentary, with each one having a part of the other in it.
Kinsey Scale:
0- Exclusively heterosexual
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual
0- Exclusively heterosexual
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual
fortiesfun
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I've commented on the nature of bisexuality fairly often, so without completely repeating myself, I'd point to two post that are relevant to this discussion:
First one about the kinds of bisexuality and then a thread that attempts to sort this issue.
In the latter, I particularly try to illustrate how the terms "gay" and "str8" not only get at sexual orientation, but also imply social conformity or non-conformity.
First one about the kinds of bisexuality and then a thread that attempts to sort this issue.
In the latter, I particularly try to illustrate how the terms "gay" and "str8" not only get at sexual orientation, but also imply social conformity or non-conformity.
Lex
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This scale would probably be more accurate for me than my 99/1% claim.
On the Kinsey scale, I would qualify as "1", but without any heterosexual opportunities, I would have to be "5". I didn't choose "6", because I spend a lot of time loving myself, and would probably fantasize about women loving my cock, also.
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