You Know You’re Bosnian When...

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by hifzija, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. hifzija

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    -Your family owns a manual coffee grinder.
    -You take your shoes off when you enter the house, and every family member has his/her own slippers (plus some extra for the guests).
    -Yyour neighbour comes over every day uninvited, for coffee.
    -Your father wears striped pajamas
    -You start your day with a cup of coffee and a cigarette
    -You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name
    -Your mother/nena won’t accept the fact that you’re not hungry
    -You have “pita” (Bosnian food that is like a pastry puff filled with salty fillings like cheese or meat) for dinner at least 4 days a week
    -You have “sarma” (stuffed cabbage) for dinner the remaining 3 days
    a loaf of bread is eaten for lunch every day
    -You’re 6 and your father sends you out to buy him “Drina” (cigarettes brand) and “Sarajevsko”(brand of beer)
    -You don’t speak to your cousins who support “Zeljo” (football team)

    -Your "nena" (grandmother) insists you eat something with a “kasika” (spoon) at least once a week.
    -You chop up some onions and then decide what to cook for dinner.
    -Your mother insists that “promaja” (draft) will kill you.
    -Your mother tells you not to sit on the concrete slabs, or your ovaries are going to freeze.
    -Your mother tells you to wear “potkosulja” (undershirt), no matter what the temperature outside.
    -Your mother tells you not to sit close to the TV, and not to use cell phones, because you’ll get brain tumor.
    -Your mother tells you that you’ll get sick from drinking cold water.
    -You tuck in your “potkosulja” (undershirt) into your underwear.
    -Your parents wonder why you take showers every day.
    -Your parents tell you that they had you, AND your sister/brother when they were your age.
    -A couple of days really means a week or so.
    -Your parents have “goblene”(needlepoint) on their walls, and “heklanje”(fine handmade lace) on every piece of their furniture, including the TV.
    -Your parents make “zimnica” (canned vegetables) every september
    -Your mother threathens you with “samo cekaj dok ti se babo vrati kuci” (just wait till your dad gets home)
    -You spend all your family vacations in Neum (only part of Bosnia on the Adriatic sea)
    -You take a car to go everywhere
    -You begin most sentences with “jebi ga”, (fuck it) “svega mi” (I swear on everything), or “Tita mi” (I swear on Tito).
    -Your young cousin doesn’t know what “Tita mi” means.
    -You can’t explain what “bolan” means, but you use it all the time – (um yes – I have no idea what it means).
    -You’re the only one who gets all the Mujo and Suljo jokes
    -You know the entire script of “Walter brani Sarajevo” by heart
    -You despise your cousin who’s going out with an “unproforac” (UN worker)
    -Your mother bakes a cake without oil, sugar, eggs, or flour, and she calls it “a war cake”
    -The time is divided into “before” and “after” the war.
    -Your father refers to all politicians with “djubrad” (idiots), “lopovi”(con-artists), and “kriminalci”(criminals).
    -You have at least one best friend from high school who went to “their side” and you still can’t explain it to yourself.
    -Your remaining friends from high school live in Australia, Norway, Germany,USA and Malaysia.
    -You don’t want to talk about the war to anyone, but that’s the only thing you talk about with other Bosnians.
    -You have at least three passports, and have lived in at least 4 countries in the last 12 years.
     
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