You know you are in a Texas church when . . .

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Principessa, Aug 5, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    You know you are in a Texas church when:
    People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

    The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

    The restrooms are outside.

    Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

    A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

    When it rains, everyone is smiling.

    Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

    The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

    The pastor wears boots.

    Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

    There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

    Baptism is referred to as "branding".

    There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

    Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

    High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

    People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

    People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

    The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"


     
  2. rickygNOLA

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  3. Pitbull

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    As a sort of official maybe 1/2 Transplanted Texan
    I am not sure whether to laugh or take offense.
     
  4. vince

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    You know you are in Texas when you overhear some Yankee bitchin' about it.
     
  5. Principessa

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    You should laugh, it's a joke. :tongue:

    :confused:
    What crawled up your butt and died today?

     
  6. Pitbull

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    I kind of figured that it was a joke. :tongue: tee hee

    Be nice to Vince.
    Some Yankee probably was an asshole. :mad:

    I will try to be the nicest Yankee that a Texan would ever want to meet :smile:
     
  7. D_Hepsibah Salmonbreath

    D_Hepsibah Salmonbreath <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    yall may think out church is a little strange to yall but yalls church is strange to us
     
  8. vince

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    Can't I make a joke too?
     
  9. Zeuhl34

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    Lulz
     
  10. whatireallywant

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    ..
     
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