You thought YOU had a bad day?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by DaveyR, Feb 19, 2009.

  1. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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  2. eddyabs

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    Now that's hilarious!!!! Proper raging freak out!! My day's been FINE thankyou!
     
  3. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    I model my LPSG posting style on her. :rolleyes:
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    You have no idea how many times I have wanted to do that after getting up at 3:00 am and calling the airlines to make sure the flight was running on time, going to the airport and checking in...and then going through security and then getting to the gate for them to tell you the flight is cancelled...I feel her pain!
     
  5. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    And more to the point: is she available for birthday parties? :ponder:
     
  6. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Mine too but next time I have a bad one I'm gonna let it all rip :biggrin1:

    Nice one. I'd never noticed but thanks for pointing it out :wink:
     
  7. eddyabs

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    Oh to be a fly on the wall!!!

    (That's one MAJOR hot flush she's having!).
     
  8. Not_Punny

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    I wonder what she does when they serve her the wrong dish at a restaurant?
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    She must have really been counting on those pretzels.
     
  10. nudeyorker

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  11. JamieBoy

    JamieBoy New Member

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    Speaking about bad days. This HAS to be one of the funniest stories I have ever heard!
    (in public domain from various sources)
    One of them was an Irish radio station's "Describe your worst day" competition.


    ...."April, 1998

    Hi Sue,
    Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:

    We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened to me. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

    This is even worse than the poison ivy I once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the comms. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing water stops totaling 35 minutes before I could come to the surface.

    I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to shove it up my ass when I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut. I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship.

    Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope that thought will make it a little more tolerable. Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.

    Love,
    Brian
    "....
     
  12. Deno

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    So looks like a gigantic 3 year old.
     
  13. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Even as a child, she just couldn't take "No." for an answer.
     
  14. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    She makes Sarah Bernahardt look like Calvin Coolidge!
     
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