you'll make a great husband

[unabear09]

hey all. i've got a question. why is it that the women that i am attracted to, always say 'you'll make some woman a good husband someday.' i have been told this so many times by women that i am attracted to, and sometimes it really hurts. why is it that those of us who are good marriage/relationship material are always the ones that are overlooked and still depressingly single. any advice, comments? thanks

 

[2322]

Because all the good ones have already found the other good ones. This is true, straight or gay. Anyone who is not in a committed relationship at this very moment is so completely defective that they will never find anyone unless premature death creates an opening in current relationships.

Edit: The above was written in sarcasm. My demons want me to believe it yet it is untrue.

I think they're just trying to be nice. Yeah it does hurt and hurts me physically too. I feel my chest literally sink when I hear it since it's usually said by people I'd like to be with or who see in me what I wish others did.

 

[viking1]

Because all the good ones have already found the other good ones. This is true, straight or gay. Anyone who is not in a committed relationship at this very moment is so completely defective that they will never find anyone unless premature death creates an opening in current relationships.

I think they're just trying to be nice. Yeah it does hurt and hurts me physically too. I feel my chest literally sink when I hear it since it's usually said by people I'd like to be with or who see in me what I wish others did.

Bingo! Another one right on head Jason...

 

[goodwood]

Unabear - very good question. I have wondered this myself and have also been told the same thing and yet remain single.
What I have observed is that of the married people I know, not one of them is happily married. They have decided that they will be able to live with the other person's deficiencies.
I have called off three weddings because I would not tolerate destructive behavior from those women. So if I wanted to be married I could have been married but would have been desperately unhappy in those marriages. And so the search continues. Every married person I know tells me that I don't know how lucky I am/that they envy my lifestyle/they wish they were me, etc.etc.
Of course I would love to be a husband and a father but not if it means doing so in an unhappy marriage.
I don't know what to tell you. But good luck and keep trying! And I am certain that when you do get married you will be an awesome husband.

 

[STYLYUNG]

I think that you get (have gotten) that message because you fellows are considerate, good hosts, helpful to hostesses, know how to do domestic things, nice to kids, nice to the elderly, etc. For some reason, some women don't want these qualities in a husband. Am I close to being right? Also, the gals that say that you would make some woman a good husband, might have good Gaydar which could prompt the statement.

 

[Principessa]

hey all. i've got a question. why is it that the women that i am attracted to, always say 'you'll make some woman a good husband someday.' They just aren't that into you. :redface: I'm guessing you are dating women around your age, STOP. Girls your age are sowing their wild oats and are wasting their time pursuing badboys who will break their hearts and their spirit. If you think you want to settle down, then start dating women in their 30's who will appreciate your kindness and stability. i have been told this so many times by women that i am attracted to, and sometimes it really hurts. why is it that those of us who are good marriage/relationship material are always the ones that are overlooked and still depressingly single. any advice, comments? thanks. Got me hanging dude as I am in the same boat.

Because all the good ones have already found the other good ones. This is true, straight or gay. Anyone who is not in a committed relationship at this very moment is so completely defective that they will never find anyone unless premature death creates an opening in current relationships. Excuse me, speak for yourself Jason! I am not completely defective.

Many of the good men ended up married to controlling, psycho bitches and vice-versa. By the time one or both have the courage to leave this disaster of a marriage they are both damaged and untrusting. FYI - dating a widower is no bed of roses either; because you will inevitably end up trying to compete with his memory of a perfect spouse. No one ever remembers that she snored louder than a Pug, couldnt boil an egg without it exploding in the pot, and had a sense of style reminiscent of Picasso's Blue Period. I think they're just trying to be nice. Yeah it does hurt and hurts me physically too. I feel my chest literally sink when I hear it since it's usually said by people I'd like to be with or who see in me what I wish others did. Dude, you have got to get a thicker skin! It is not healthy to walk around with all those sensitive nerve endings on display for the world to see and pluck. You may want to try not putting yourself into situations where you will only encounter men who are already taken. If you know the other person is taken run away!

 

[goodwood]

Thanks STYLEYUNG -
While possessing those qualities, women who have said I would make a great husband were married to husbands they couldn't stand and/or women who had severe low self esteem issues or who felt they were quote "not from my social background" and believed they would not be accepted.
So - still at a loss. lol.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

why is it that those of us who are good marriage/relationship material are always the ones that are overlooked and still depressingly single. any advice, comments? thanks

Unfortunately, what's she probably really saying is: "Well unabear, you're a nice guy and all, and you're probably great with kids, but I'm really more attracted to the brooding, domineering type of guy who drives a fast sports car."

 

[str82fcuk]

Because all the good ones have already found the other good ones. This is true, straight or gay. Anyone who is not in a committed relationship at this very moment is so completely defective that they will never find anyone unless premature death creates an opening in current relationships.


Ouch! I think I have had this feeling too. But I've never actually stated it so bluntly. I realise this may be some form of humurous ironic sarcasm but I have found that such intense ressentiment, if not quickly exorcised, can have a horrible way of becoming self-fulfilling ...

I think they're just trying to be nice.


People 'trying to be nice' is the most horridly condescending thing I can imagine.

Yeah it does hurt and hurts me physically too. I feel my chest literally sink when I hear it since it's usually said by people I'd like to be with or who see in me what I wish others did.


Sure they see something good!
(Either they consciously feel not up to that level of goodness
or they have an unconscious envy).
Unless they are just plain out lying of course !
"trying to be nice"
Pshaw!

But anyway, really, would anyone really want to be with someone who said something like that? And it's not just a case of sour grapes to say that such a comment is a so revealing of a basic insensitivity and disrespect that I sometimes thank providence for having saved me from pursuing anything with them any further especially since they obviously suffer from the delusion that they are kind, sensitive, and respectful. Whatever.
But I know that still it is hard to get over the grief of letting go of things one had once imagined were possible)

...............................................

 

[2322]

Unfortunately, what's she probably really saying is: "Well unabear, you're a nice guy and all, and you're probably great with kids, but I'm really more attracted to the brooding, domineering type of guy who drives a fast sports car."

Ayup. People are too picky these days.

"He's got a huge dick, great in bed, makes mid 6-figures, looks like model, has his own house, belongs to MENSA, loves children, and loves my mother like his own but he has a voice like Harvey Firestein!"

"She's smart, graceful, speaks five languages, writes poetry, makes great money, knows ancient Chinese secret sex positions, but she's too tall."

"You're such a sweet guy! If I wasn't taken.... I'd be all over you! You're attractive, charming, and will make some man or woman an excellent husband! Oops, look at the time! Have to get back to Brad or he'll beat me when he comes home from his other lover's house! I hope he won't be too drunk. I hate bailing him out of jail all the time. Bye! :kiss::kiss:

:banghead:

 

[Calboner]

No one ever remembers that she snored louder than a Pug, couldnt boil an egg without it exploding in the pot, and had a sense of style reminiscent of Picasso's Blue Period.

Did you think that up just while rattling the keys, NJ? Damn, that's good!

 

[goodwood]

Jason - LOL!!!!!!!! But your pretty right on. But for the record 1.) my voice does not sound like Harvey Firestein and 2.) I love tall women (preferably blonde hair and blue or green eyes. I'm really not that picky.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

"You're such a sweet guy! If I wasn't taken.... I'd be all over you! You're attractive, charming, and will make some man or woman an excellent husband! Oops, look at the time! Have to get back to Brad or he'll beat me when he comes home from his other lover's house! I hope he won't be too drunk. I hate bailing him out of jail all the time. Bye!

Add in the obligatory unshaven stubble continually on Brad's brooding jaw and, yup, you've got it nailed to a tee, jason. Damned if I didn't hear some variation of that story time and again during my 20s.

 

[Principessa]

Originally Posted by njqt466

No one ever remembers that she snored louder than a Pug, couldnt boil an egg without it exploding in the pot, and had a sense of style reminiscent of Picasso's Blue Period.
Did you think that up just while rattling the keys, NJ? Damn, that's good!

Yes, I did; :smile: I'm glad you liked it. My ascerbic wit is often lost on all but close family and friends.:redface::tongue:

 

[dreamer20]

hey all. i've got a question. why is it that the women that i am attracted to, always say 'you'll make some woman a good husband someday.' i have been told this so many times by women that i am attracted to...any advice, comments? thanks

Grab a hold of her, smile and follow up with the response "And I want you to be that woman. Will you marry me?":naughty:

Don't be crestfallen. Be cheerful, persistent and take advantage of those opportunities instead. :biggthumpup2:

 

[goodwood]

Well said Dreamer! Unabear. Listen to Dreamer and do that.

 

[viking1]

Yes, I did; :smile: I'm glad you liked it. My ascerbic wit is often lost on all but close family and friends.:redface::tongue:

Nah, you just think it is. I appreciate it...

 

[Mr. Snakey]

hey all. i've got a question. why is it that the women that i am attracted to, always say 'you'll make some woman a good husband someday.' i have been told this so many times by women that i am attracted to, and sometimes it really hurts. why is it that those of us who are good marriage/relationship material are always the ones that are overlooked and still depressingly single. any advice, comments? thanks

They are saying your a nice guy. This is good. Stay nice and you shall be rewarded one day:smile: Trust me on this one:wink:

 

[2322]

They are saying your a nice guy. This is good. Stay nice and you shall be rewarded one day:smile: Trust me on this one:wink:

HA!

Nice guys get the hot chick calling them at 2am to cry on their shoulder when Brad dumps them. Nice guys are seen as less masculine, less confident, less fun, less everything except nice. If you want to get a woman treat her like shit. Blow her off, look over other girls while you're talking to her, forget to call her, break dates, tell her what to do, and only focus on her when you want sex. That is how I've gotten every girl I've ever had sex with (save for the prostitute in NV).

Do that and women will be all over you. I've seen it time and time and time again. Been alive 41 years and the entire time I've seen countless good women go chasing after the biggest asshole they can find and no study will convince me otherwise. Women think they can tame him, use her love to change him, that's he's so macho that other women will envy her catch (and they will), that his machismo will translate into her being more womanly, that if does anything to harm her then she deserves it.

By my age they're either still married and suffering from all kinds of psychological problems or they're PTSD bitter and divorced out looking for guys they can control and earn plenty of money because if they're going to get treated like shit by every guy who comes down the pike then they might as well get paid for it.

Some women like the nice guys because, conversely, they think they can control them. Nice guys are wimps, mama's boys. Dangle a little sex in their face and they'll let you do anything, run the marriage, and treat you like a goddess on a pedestal. These women believe men need to be dominated and controlled because men are naturally weak and need guidance. They use sex as a tool and a weapon to keep control of their men; never giving men everything the men want. The men then are perpetually trying to please their wives. Trophy wives and replacement mommies are a variant on this type. Run away from them because they don't love you and only keep you around for what you can do for them.

A handful of women realize a healthy relationship isn't created by any of these sorts of behaviors and seek healthy, stable, nice men. If you can find one, good luck.

Otherwise at the end of every party, despite so many women telling you how great and kind and wonderful you are, you go home alone.

 

[D_Geffarde Phartsmeller]

hey all. i've got a question. why is it that the women that i am attracted to, always say 'you'll make some woman a good husband someday.' i have been told this so many times by women that i am attracted to, and sometimes it really hurts. why is it that those of us who are good marriage/relationship material are always the ones that are overlooked and still depressingly single. any advice, comments? thanks

It's part of an incidious female plot to screw with our heads and break us mentally. All you can do is stay true to yourself. Eventually you'll find one that appreciates the future husband in you. Don't act the badass to get tail because any relationship started as a direct resulted will be based upon a lie and it's only a matter of time before the real you surfaces and the whole thing ends. Patience, young Skywalker