Young Closeted Guys

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by MascBiGuy805, Jul 10, 2011.

  1. MascBiGuy805

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    I'm a very discrete, closeted young bi male and I was just wondering what other people's reasons are for wanting to stay in the closet? I don't see myself telling family or friends anytime soon but have my reasons...

    -Conservative Family
    -Job Discretion
    -Just not comfortable enough with it

    etc.

    Would be cool to talk to some other young guys in the same situation as me.
     
  2. B_jdunhill

    B_jdunhill New Member

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    Pretty similar circumstance the only difference the people that I am not out to, as in family, work and or acquaintances? are generally people that don't know whether or not I like eggplant so there is no reason they should whether or not I like dick. I know that sounds rudimentary but for me, it is all just until my grandpa passes away. He just hates that sort of thing and doesn't know better...he's 86 and I take care of him, so it is a necessary evil.

    There's no right or wrong way to do it all man, and no one ever does it the same.
     
  3. hackalive

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    same circumstance(s) here :)
     
  4. mymilkshakez

    mymilkshakez New Member

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    same. Parents are always talking about gay people and homosexuality like it is a disease. It hurts me and I know it will hurt them so their is no need for it yet. Once my people open their eyes and realize that I didn't choose to be this way then it will be time :) Which could be forever haha. But either way I act how I act and I naturally act straight so I am still a bit happy, but I know once I can freely talk and tell people how I really see people I will be happier.
     
  5. aqua-illusion

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    Well I may not be as young anymore but I am in the same situation...

    For me family, friends...one of the largest factor for me was. During all throughout Jr. High and High School people suspected I was gay/bi from the way I acted...deep down I kind of knew I was but always denied it.

    Coming out of the closest would prove that they were right, so they can hate me even more than they did in school. (I know what someone is going to say...why care about what people from your past think of you. It's hard to forget the hateful words they said and then to have it validated by them being right is what scares me the most)
     
  6. TaigaStar

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    The first two, mainly.
     
  7. NEWREBA

    NEWREBA New Member

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    I'm not a young guy but I am bi also. I know how difficult it can be to not acknowledge an important part of who you are though. It's like denying that you are a male or a female of the species. The reason I feel this way is that your orientation colors everything you do or say and how you relate to other people. It also doesn't allow you to be completely honest with people you may love or care about out who feel the same way about you. If some person, girl or guy, falls in love with you, it's important for you to be able to be truthful with them and to at least let them know where you are in your life's journey. I've had some lesbians be attracted to me because they sense that I may be available in some way. It's also true for gay and bi men.
    I personally feel that you need to know yourself better before you can truly accept yourself. Also when you do that, others will accept and love you as well. But also take your time. It has to be something that you are ready to do for your own sake too. All the best, sweetie.
     
  8. Ra

    Ra
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    Not as young as you any more but can certainly relate.

    Family was very conservative/religious.
    Peers ridiculed "gayness" and were very prejudiced.

    Given a different upbringing my stats might well have been 70/30 the other way :-0

    It is only recently that I have started to become more comfortable with the fact that I am attracted to both guys and girls. But it has been a long journey.

    I only hope that your journey to discover yourself is a lot shorter. And that you can be who you really are and not have to live a lie.
     
  9. zacr9

    zacr9 Member

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    Hey man....feel for u guys.....taken me ages to be comfy with being gay.....due to fundamental christian upbringing (where being gay was like being a murderer) and being ridiculed at school, family putting down gay people as not natural and weird...etc

    I have had major depression and battles with anxiety for ages now.....

    Its not easy but the more people who speak up the easier it becomes for all....it seems to me that bi guys can choose to hide behind their straight side and not talk about their gay side....can understand that but the more people who choose to do that the longer it will take for bi guys to be accepted.

    There are also guys who suicide over this kind of stuff....

    It aint easy and happy to chat with any guys who struggle.

    Thanks
     
  10. rbkwp

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    In the 70s went thru what you are now matey, similar age
    Personally i think dont feel at all obliged to 'come out' often its only for there benefit and altho far more accepted these days, its still not a Law / requirement in life that you should be appeasing all others .. incls your parents, me thinks
    Quite likely they Know anyway, give em credit and if not they will have there suspicions as for your friends they will likely make claims that they always knew anyway, so whats the point.
    ]
    Sounds like you have a good grasp on it all at this time
    All the Best and you may well know when the time is right, i worked it like that.
    enz
    ie
    Never told my Parents but feel pretty sure they knew, respect to me it was not mentioned (those were the times then)
     
  11. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
    Everyone's situation is different. So I hope you
    Don't feel pressured to come out just because
    Others do. You should do what is right for you.
     
  12. MascBiGuy805

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    It's really cool to read all of these other posts... I should probably also mention that I went to private christian school up until high school... including a pretty crazy catholic school for high school. I'm sure that had a lot to do with it too!

    It also sucks when I go out with friends and they're all trying to get with girls when I'm more attracted to guys and they have no clue. I feel like if I opened up a little bit and got a friend to goto a different type of bar (haha) that I might be able to find something a little more suited for me.
     
  13. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    Went to public school. But sure, I can relate to this. And growing up and listening to the radio. Just about every love song on the radio was about a guy in love with a girl or a girl in love with a guy. In fact, I was just on line looking
    at the lyrics of some old songs. And perhaps there is one song who's lyrics
    I can relate to: Sister Golden Hair (America, 1975) To me the lyrics of the
    song sound like they are from someone who would like to be in a relationship
    with this woman, but for some unknown reason is not able to. I know the meaning of the song is kind of vague, but that is how I relate to it.
     
  14. Namenda

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    These two posts pretty much sum up why I'm still closeted. One of the main reasons, though, is that it's taken me up until recently to really figure out if I was gay or bi or straight, or somewhere in the mix. It's really hard figuring out your sexuality when you like bits of both sexes. I honestly still don't know what I am for sure.
    It'd be nice to be able to tell family and friends this, but the more I consider telling them, the more I see and hear how they feel about homosexuals and all.
    Deep down, I feel like my mom and friends would at least understand, but one, I don't even understand my sexuality myself...and two, I don't want to prove the bastards right who always questioned my sexuality in the first place.
    I feel for you, dude. You definitely aren't alone in this matter.
     
  15. mymilkshakez

    mymilkshakez New Member

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    Am I the only one here who sometimes feels so pressured at times for being bi and just wish you could change?
     
  16. D_Ghana_Whey

    D_Ghana_Whey Account Disabled

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    Closeted here, and no way to tell anyone without hurting and losing people. =/
     
  17. xmarksbreakdownx

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    As I'm sure you can see, you're not alone. I'm bi, and I like to think maybe I'm more straight than gay (Mainly because I don't want a relationship with a guy, and the whole idea of anal sex grosses me out, but I do like to make out with guys, and jerk off/suck them, and I like gay porn) Only my best male friend knows, and he happens to be bi and in the closet too.

    He's the only guy I've ever made out with, sucked, and exchanged handjobs with. I've only masturbated with one other guy, but we didn't touch eachother.

    The reason why I won't come out is strictly fear of loosing my friends and family. Job wouldn't be an issue with me, but I've always had a real difficult time making friends, and have never really had anyone I felt like were my true friends until the last 5 years, and I don't want to loose them.

    I've espically never had a best friend before, and kind of have a fear that even though he accepts the "closeted" me, I wonder how he would accept the "out" me. He has NEVER done anything to make me think he would stop speaking to me if this happened, but I think it's just in the back of my head that since I've never had friends before... it might happen again. My relationship with my father didn't help the matter...
     
  18. latin_cock

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    I feel exactly lik you. So many people have questioned my sexuality in the past when I was sure that I was 100% straight that now that I am not too sure I dont wanna prove them right. Plus I am still not 100% how I feel about guys
     
  19. BJs4You IL

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    you just have to be comfortable with yourself and your situation. I used to be more out than I am now. I was miserable. Being half in and half out is just more suited to my situation and the people in my life. Just do the best you can with where you're at in the moment.
     
  20. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    I would invite being bi, at least that would give me an opportunity to have a relationship with a woman.
     
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