Younger guys, older women?

[SR_Pepe_LePube]

I have always been attracted to older women. I think it's because they are mature, experienced, and know what they want. The married ones just wanted to “have fun” and enjoy a night of lustful fucking before returning home.

 

[B_hungnate]

Thanks everyone for the replies. A lot of what people said is how I feel. How I met this woman is I took someone's advice and put an ad on Craigslist and I got like 5 replies but the women who answered, when they sent their picture they were not that attractive. Then I got lucky and saw her ad and what it said was: Sexy 42 y/o woman seeking fit, well-endowed man age 22-30 for casual friendship and hot sex, no strings attached. So obviously that was perfect for me and I answered it. I guess that's what I love so much about older women is they're into that, because I don't think a girl my age would send out an ad like that. So I guess it's what a bunch of you said about being ok with just having fun and not getting all serious.
Yeah you know another thing I was just thinking is like what I said about how normally she comes across like this nice, proper lady and it makes it kind of hot when we get behind closed doors. I mean she's 42, she used to be married, has 2 kids and all that, and in public she's so polite and with good manners you'd never think of how she is behind closed doors. I mean she comes across like the nice mom next door or something. Like the first time we got together I was shocked, because normally she doesn't wear skimpy clothes, so her clothes come off and I'm like shit she's got a great body, and then later she's like raving over my cock and calling me a stud and shit like that. So I'm just saying now when I see women around it just makes me wonder what you aren't seeing, like how they get behind closed doors. It just kind of changes how you look at people. It's pretty hot if you ask me.

 

[B_dadboy]

my name gives me away /

 

[OmahaBeef]

I think you can't go through life without experiencing stuff that can make you cynical. I guess it's just how you respond to it that determines if it becomes baggage or if you just makes you freer. I think for me, going through a divorce, I could be walking around with baggage but the way I look at it, my experience just taught me life is a journey, there's no point holding on to baggage and you might as well have fun. But it's funny, I think it's the same experiences of divorce and crumbled relationships that makes some people cynical and untrusting and makes other people freer and liberated. I guess it just depends how you respond to it.

Believe me! Nearly all of my relationship experience has contributed to my cynicism and inability to trust. There was a time when I trusted first and let them do with it what they pleased. Since women have historically failed miserably in keeping my trust, this does not bode well for the present and future women, who will inevitably learn to tolerate the fact that they need to earn my trust and may never get it at all. It's nothing personal, and its not their fault, it is what it is.

I think you are TOTALLY on to something though: From a relationship standpoint, we have the sinkers and the swimmers...and the 2 groups are separating accordingly. The problem is so many people could prevent the brick on their back if they would just use their heads now and then. People! This is your LIFE!

I do want to say that I also had the tendency to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and in doing that in the past, it only solidified the things that I will not tolerate under any circumstances. There are things I can deal with, and things I cannot. One thing I simply cannot do is her having children. I make/made wise family planning decisions so I shouldn't have to deal with the fact that she failed to do the same. Plus raising another man's child is fundamentally absurd IMO and far too charitable for my own conscience. I think that, in a world where birth control is at an all-time high in availability...and illegitimite births are also at a record high number, this speaks volumes about the women in the available dating pool.

What it comes down to is this: Relationships are give and take. The more baggage the person has, the ability to give is minimized and the need to take is maximized. BAM...your off on the wrong foot as soon as it starts.

Im sorry...Im tired...

...OB

 

[karmen]

Believe me! Nearly all of my relationship experience has contributed to my cynicism and inability to trust. There was a time when I trusted first and let them do with it what they pleased. Since women have historically failed miserably in keeping my trust, this does not bode well for the present and future women, who will inevitably learn to tolerate the fact that they need to earn my trust and may never get it at all. It's nothing personal, and its not their fault, it is what it is.

I think you are TOTALLY on to something though: From a relationship standpoint, we have the sinkers and the swimmers...and the 2 groups are separating accordingly. The problem is so many people could prevent the brick on their back if they would just use their heads now and then. People! This is your LIFE!

I do want to say that I also had the tendency to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and in doing that in the past, it only solidified the things that I will not tolerate under any circumstances. There are things I can deal with, and things I cannot. One thing I simply cannot do is her having children. I make/made wise family planning decisions so I shouldn't have to deal with the fact that she failed to do the same. Plus raising another man's child is fundamentally absurd IMO and far too charitable for my own conscience. I think that, in a world where birth control is at an all-time high in availability...and illegitimite births are also at a record high number, this speaks volumes about the women in the available dating pool.

What it comes down to is this: Relationships are give and take. The more baggage the person has, the ability to give is minimized and the need to take is maximized. BAM...your off on the wrong foot as soon as it starts.

Im sorry...Im tired...

...OB

I'm totally into older men; however, under the right circumstances I would date a younger man. I just haven't found that person, as of yet. For example, there is a guy who currently is interested in dating me. He's 10 years younger. I just don't think he's right for even a casual relationship.

OB I understand about dating a person who has a child especially-- a young child. It's an aspect of that person's life that I would take very seriously. Is it a deal breaker? Perhaps, but not defiantely.

I am on a dating site and more than 1 man explains that he is a single parent and that those children are his priority. However, a woman is a single parent for many, many reasons and it has nothing to do with her being an irresponsible person.

On Monday, a police officer's cruiser was rear-ended by a drunk driver. The officer died and left behind a wife and 2 children. The children are 9 and 3 years of age. Suddenly, through no fault of her own, that woman is a single parent.

My own step father raised 4 children because my mom died in a car accident when I was barely 8 years old. He was raising 8, 6, 5, and 4 years old children.

I am currently the guardian of a teenager. He's not my child but due to circumstances, I am raising him until he reaches his majority--4 more years. I went from childless to having a teenaged boy all in less than 1 year. It's one of many reasons that 2006 has been a very stressful year for me.

That being said, I've been with men who have young children and I choose to pass on that type of relationship. Because I have already raised my own child, I prefer a man without children or one who has children who are grown and gone. I've already been there and done that and don't want to return to the scene of the crime.

Lastly, I blieve that we can't be born and live without having some baggage. Some people are fortunate enough to live somewhat of a charmed life. Others are very resilient and are able to turn "lemons into lemonade".

Of course most of us are just worker drones trying to make it from day to day and from paycheck to paycheck until retirement. And then there are the lost souls for whom life seems to have a personal grudge against them.

Yeah, baggage. I've got some. More baggage than some. Less baggage than others. Life Happens.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Love is blind when it comes to age. I think we all carry our little suitcases as we go on with life..........:wink:

 

[B_hungnate]

I guess I avoid all the baggage by keeping things casual. I love how some women older than me are OK just having sex and being friends w/o all the serious stuff. Honestly I don't see myself in a "relationship' anytime soon. I'm sure sometimes I'll want to settle down but for now I don't see any reason to tie myself down too much.

Believe me! Nearly all of my relationship experience has contributed to my cynicism and inability to trust. There was a time when I trusted first and let them do with it what they pleased. Since women have historically failed miserably in keeping my trust, this does not bode well for the present and future women, who will inevitably learn to tolerate the fact that they need to earn my trust and may never get it at all. It's nothing personal, and its not their fault, it is what it is.

I think you are TOTALLY on to something though: From a relationship standpoint, we have the sinkers and the swimmers...and the 2 groups are separating accordingly. The problem is so many people could prevent the brick on their back if they would just use their heads now and then. People! This is your LIFE!

I do want to say that I also had the tendency to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and in doing that in the past, it only solidified the things that I will not tolerate under any circumstances. There are things I can deal with, and things I cannot. One thing I simply cannot do is her having children. I make/made wise family planning decisions so I shouldn't have to deal with the fact that she failed to do the same. Plus raising another man's child is fundamentally absurd IMO and far too charitable for my own conscience. I think that, in a world where birth control is at an all-time high in availability...and illegitimite births are also at a record high number, this speaks volumes about the women in the available dating pool.

What it comes down to is this: Relationships are give and take. The more baggage the person has, the ability to give is minimized and the need to take is maximized. BAM...your off on the wrong foot as soon as it starts.

Im sorry...Im tired...

...OB

 

[OmahaBeef]

I'm totally into older men; however, under the right circumstances I would date a younger man. I just haven't found that person, as of yet. For example, there is a guy who currently is interested in dating me. He's 10 years younger. I just don't think he's right for even a casual relationship.

OB I understand about dating a person who has a child especially-- a young child. It's an aspect of that person's life that I would take very seriously. Is it a deal breaker? Perhaps, but not defiantely.

I am on a dating site and more than 1 man explains that he is a single parent and that those children are his priority. However, a woman is a single parent for many, many reasons and it has nothing to do with her being an irresponsible person.

On Monday, a police officer's cruiser was rear-ended by a drunk driver. The officer died and left behind a wife and 2 children. The children are 9 and 3 years of age. Suddenly, through no fault of her own, that woman is a single parent.

My own step father raised 4 children because my mom died in a car accident when I was barely 8 years old. He was raising 8, 6, 5, and 4 years old children.

I am currently the guardian of a teenager. He's not my child but due to circumstances, I am raising him until he reaches his majority--4 more years. I went from childless to having a teenaged boy all in less than 1 year. It's one of many reasons that 2006 has been a very stressful year for me.

That being said, I've been with men who have young children and I choose to pass on that type of relationship. Because I have already raised my own child, I prefer a man without children or one who has children who are grown and gone. I've already been there and done that and don't want to return to the scene of the crime.

Lastly, I blieve that we can't be born and live without having some baggage. Some people are fortunate enough to live somewhat of a charmed life. Others are very resilient and are able to turn "lemons into lemonade".

Of course most of us are just worker drones trying to make it from day to day and from paycheck to paycheck until retirement. And then there are the lost souls for whom life seems to have a personal grudge against them.

Yeah, baggage. I've got some. More baggage than some. Less baggage than others. Life Happens.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

Excellent response Karmen...and you illustrate important scenario's without a doubt.

Kudo's to you for taking on a young kid like that. I have no doubt that it is stressful.

And I can totally relate to you not wanting to date a man all that much younger than yourself. I am nearly 28, and on a general level the difference between 20-23 and my age are not outwardly noticable, but as far as mentality and maturity goes it might as well be 20 compared to 40. Seemingly every woman I meet wants to do all this bar-crawling, clubbing, etc. Which is fine if you are 21-22. After that, Im sorry to say, it should get old. Perhaps I am just disenchanted, being that I was a bouncer as a second job thru college, from before I could even legally drink (19), until I was about 24-25. ICK! So now no matter what reason I end up in a bar I feel like I am at work and its the same tired-ass game it always was.

I have a deep sympathy for widows. Obviously, thats a tragic situation for everyone involved, and really the only ones I feel any sorrow for. But really...how many single parents out there are widows/widowers? VERY, VERY FEW. I am aware that people make mistakes, but some mistakes are far greater than others, and illegitimite births are A)a terrible mistake and B) easily avoided.

The thesis of my complaint is that quite often, people choose to reproduce with complete shit-heads, and then somehow feel entitled to the belief that they are deserving of the "nice, stable guy" that they thwarted earlier on in life due to lack of excitement. They wanted the bad-boy...they got him...he's either no where in sight or utterly worthless...and the spawn remains. No guy wants to touch them. Now it's the nice guy's fault?

Bottom Line: I don't bring anything to her door, and she shouldnt bring anything to mine.

I also know what you mean about people who are seemingly HATED by fate. There is a young woman who I have warm feelings for, am great friends with, but she has the most fukked up family I ever saw. Molested/raped by multiple people growing up including her brothers and uncle. Married and knocked up at 17, divorced at 20, became a bar-slut, hung out with dirtbag bikers, bankrupt, has a kid with ADHD and exhibits signs of becoming a sexual predator at the tender age of 6, has an alcoholic-dirtbag ex, a bunch of horrible tattoos of the dumbest things that look like they were done in Crayon. Nevertheless, I befriended her, taught her a new way of thinking, how to view and treat herself, and what she is capable of accomplishing. I taught her how to work out, eat, and she in turn has lost 100 pounds. I taught her how to rebuild credit, and she is. She has a well-paying, salaried job with full benefits. I think you get the point.

As fun as she is and how proud that I am of her, I simply could never, ever, be more than a friend to her. I know that she wants more than that, but there is a point that a person reaches where you simply can do no more than friendship, because thats like buying a ticket on the Titanic. I hurt because of her circumstances (ones she both inherited and created), and I also hurt that I have to see someone with a beautiful soul go thru what she has had to, and will have to go thru probably forever. I carry an overwhelming feeling of guilt because I cannot rightfully be anything more, do anything more for her without forever compromising myself.

It's a sad, and lonely world sometimes...

...OB

 

[stud_hunter]

I am nearly 28, and on a general level the difference between 20-23 and my age are not outwardly noticable, but as far as mentality and maturity goes it might as well be 20 compared to 40.

Indeed. I've found a big difference between men in their early 20s and late 20s, both in maturity and sexual skill. I think once they get out of college it takes a few yrs to really enter the world. I've been with a good handful of younger men and the that's been my experience. My neighbor FWB was 24 when we first hooked up and is 25 now, but he is the exception in that he's quite mature and is outstanding in bed despite his age. But yes from my experience most men in that age range haven't quite grown up yet.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Love is blind when it comes to age. I think we all carry our little suitcases as we go on with life..........:wink:

I tried going by that theory of age isnt important, but sometimes it is. Maybe less so if both people are older, matured and settled in life and themselves but i found you really cant expect a boy to act like a man. And no matter how much you try to ignore it a boy will always be a boy and there is no way of making him a man mentally or emtionally until he is ready.

Trust me on this one

 

[Mr. Snakey]

All im saying is sometimes it can work. My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. It is working out great. If you would have asked me 2 years ago i would have said no way with someone younger. But in general you are right.:smile:

 

[naughty]

Karmen and OB,

I am glad to read your opinions on this subject. I agree OB, I have tried to live my life circumspectly and have as a result made some personal sacrifices to be at this point relatively free of a lot of baggage. I tried E-Harmony a while back and found that in spite of my requests I was inadvertantly sent the profiles of one single father after another.Primarily never married or divorced single fathers. I know each case is different and I wish them all of the happiness in the world, but I have seen too many of my friends succumb to marriages with strings and down the line the problems have ensued. If I have to go to one more wedding where the child or children of the previous marriage are standing in the wedding party looking angry and sullen, I am going to cry. My problem is that I feel for everyone involved in the situation. I can understand a child being angry and hurt at his or her family being ripped apart by divorce, or death and not being sure that this new person will or can love them fully or they them. But then I can also feel for the parent of the child who would like to find love and for the person who marries them who will have yet another thing stacked against the now precarious 50/50 chance of his or her marriage working.
OB, I too do not agree with putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. I just see too much collateral damage as a result for the child, the parent and other family members who have to pick up the slack.
As for younger men, I dont see the big problem.In fact, most of my friends are married to men anywhere from 3 to 10 years younger than themselves and they are doing just fine. I myself have mostly dated men who are a few years younger and if they dont have a problem, I dont either. I think it is a about what you value. However, I am not looking for a casual sexual relationship, I prefer to let that part of my interaction wait till marriage. there are so many other parts of getting to know another person. I know I have a Porsche engine, but I dont allow test drives. So, if that places me eternally within the "friend" category, so be it. There are worse things I could be. However, hope continues to spring eternal....

 

[B_hungnate]

Hi Naughty and Karmen and OB and everyone, I was reading your posts and it's pretty interesting. I guess it's easier for me because I'm not looking for a serious relationship. With serious relationships I think it sounds all good to say age doesn't matter but let's be real I think it does. I know a girl who was into older guys but she stopped dating them because she said when she's 60 she wants to travel and she doesn't want to have to take care of a guy who's like 80 and needs a lot of help. That sounds bad but you have to think about that stuff I think. For me I think I'll probably end up with a woman around my age but for now I like more casual relationships with older women. With some of the women and me it was just sex, with the woman I see now we're friends too and I like hanging out with her. We have hot sex too but I don't think if one of us was into a serious "relationship" it would mess things up. But that's just our situation I guess.

 

[TallTanAndLong]

I love older women. So much, I married one. I'm 36, she's 44. We met about 3 years ago, when I was 33 and she was 41. She keeps telling me she still hasn't hit her sexual prime. I don't know if that's good or bad as I can barely keep up with her now. :smile:

 

[B_hungnate]

I love older women. So much, I married one. I'm 36, she's 44. We met about 3 years ago, when I was 33 and she was 41. She keeps telling me she still hasn't hit her sexual prime. I don't know if that's good or bad as I can barely keep up with her now. :smile:

Yeah I love that. Women in their 30s and early 40s definitely have a high sex drive. I love that about them.

 

[SassySpy]

Having read some of these very interesting and thought provoking replies, I feel I should respond in kind. I'm nothing if not a jokester, often preferring innuendo to to actually baring my soul. But you lot are teaching me differently- its ok to bare more than the bod sometimes!
Although I prefer younger men usually, it has been a problem because they generally want children at some point in the future, so if we even begin to get too serious I'm out of there- having had ovarian cancer at a very young age, children will never be in my future. And i feel ill-equipped to deal with someone else's, so often older men are out before theyre in. Ive not met many a younger man who did not get 'hung up' on me, or me on him. And as much as I am comfortable with my high sex drive and sexual nature, I still have trouble with 'casual sex'. Unless I know the guy really really well- and we both know what its about- and there are some genuine feelings between us that are not sexual. I only have one friend like that, and due to our work schedules, we seldom hook up. He is only 4 years younger than me, while I usually see guys at about 7-10 years younger, sometimes more. One guy was 12 years younger, and a wonderfully sweet guy, but emotionally? intellectually? something- it was lacking between us.
Did I lose thread here, LOL? rambling on, sorry. Just my added 2 cents to my original penny offering!:tongue:

 

[D_Smeg Suckface]

Hi this should maybe be in the relationships section but I like to get equal responses from males and females so I posted here.
My question is if you’re a guy who likes older women, or a woman who likes younger guys, what makes you into that?
OK, I’m 23 (almost 24) and for a couple yrs I've been into older women. Overall I’ve been with about a dozen women with most of them in the 30-40 range. A lot of women in that age really let themselves go but the ones that stay in shape I find super hot. Lately I was thinking about why I’m so into older women and I was thinking maybe women in that age are so appreciative (in my experience).
What really gets me going is when a woman lays the compliments on thick. Like the last couple months I’ve been getting with this woman who drives me crazy. She's the oldest woman I’ve had sex with (42) but she looks damn good. Like from her face you can kinda tell her age but her body looks way younger. But my point is I get really turned on by how she pads my ego. Like she’s a definite size queen and she’s always saying how great my size is (8 in.) and saying these totally hot things to me, like about how great I am and how lucky she is to be getting with me. She's good with words too and she says this great stuff like the other day she told me her body screams with joy when she knows I'm coming. Now I'm not trying to say I'm so great I'm just saying I'm starting to notice the women I get really super hot for are always the ones who pad my ego like that, so maybe I'm thinking I'm into older women because they're so appreciative? With her maybe it’s also because she’s such a nice, polite person. Like she looks all nice and proper so it’s really hot when we’re behind closed doors and she gets like that. Also I was thinking I must be insecure if I get so crazy about a woman pumping me up like that, but that's just me.
So anyway that's my deal, but I’m wondering why people are into older women and also why women are into younger guys. Thanks.

man i'd luv 2 try an older woman...the way they carry themselves sometimes...oooh...they just give off so much confidence and self-satisfaction..very sexy.

 

[LongTimeComing]

I'll agree with a lot of what's been said about an older woman's self confidence, etc... I think there is also an excitement from being involved in a relationship that is somewhat taboo. It creates a little invisible cocoon around the relationship -- "We're doing something we love, the rest of the world thinks its odd, so screw them! We'll live in our own world!"

The age difference attraction can continue way beyond where you think it might. I'm 47, for three years I've been seeing a woman who is 14 years older. I'm in heaven with her. I've always been attracted to "older" women for as long as I can remember -- when I was 13 I thought there was nothing hotter than a 16 year old! Now I find women in their 50's and 60's -- even late 60's sometimes -- to be super attractive. (Not ALL women, of course. It's not like that at ANY age!)

 

[B_hungnate]

I'll agree with a lot of what's been said about an older woman's self confidence, etc... I think there is also an excitement from being involved in a relationship that is somewhat taboo.

Hey that is definitely true. I find it totally hot to get with older women and you're right it's taboo which makes it hotter.

 

[naughty]

Gentlemen,

I am beginning to find this subject somewhat disturbing. IT seems as if the reasons you want to be with older women is that you feel they are less likely to hold you accountable or ask you for anything more than the pleasure of their company in bed. How dare they! This may be what some older women may be looking for but not all. Regardless of age, these individuals still have feelings. They may not key your car if you do them wrong, but they may have the possibility to hurt or be hurt just the same...