Your ex...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by tbnd_95678, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. tbnd_95678

    tbnd_95678 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Messages:
    160
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NorCal
    I have been happily married now for nearly 8 years. However...on occasion...I find myself fantasizing about my ex (whom I have been apart from for 15 years). We dated for almost 3 years and I believed we were eventually going to get married. Obviously we didn't. But the sex between us was so incredible and electric. I have never really had that same sort of experience with my wife or even with lovers between my ex and my wife. The sex between us is good, but nothing compared with my ex. Just curious how many of you out there have similar experiences and any advice you care to offer. Thanks in advance. :smile:
     
  2. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3,337
    Likes Received:
    8
    I have similar thoughts...one ex I think about and randomly say her name aloud (quirky, isn't it?) I think because she is really pretty and how I imagine the perfect woman would (physically) be. However, she was bad at sex, maybe I was too big for her, or she was too small for me, or she just wasn't attracted to me. I don't know. A lot of the time I think she had other men on her mind; the rich men and the men who treated her badly. She also took advantage of my kind and lovesick nature.

    Anyway...

    Ex #2 I think about and masturbate over quite a lot because she knew how to fuck and she loved to take me; all of me, very deep and hard. I once fucked her so hard she almost started crying...in a good way :tongue:.

    But I wouldn't get back with any of them and I suppose its okay to have THOUGHTS as long as they don't evolve into ACTIONS. Unless of course you divorce your wife first.

    My advice would be to talk to your wife although what I think you already know and I myself know is that some people are just naturally better at sex and fucking than others. And maybe its something that you just can't teach.

    At least if you tried to teach your wife, you could say you tried. Then, if bad sex is something that you can't continue to permit, think about divorce or something.

    IMO marriage is a bit silly for this reason. I won't be getting married; at least I don't 'want' to but you know how girls are...But if I did get married I would make sure my wife knew how to fuck.


     
  3. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Georgia
    I'm haunted by memories of my ex's. I'm the one who broke off the relationships, and breaking them off was the right thing to do, but I'll be damned if I don't miss the hell out of them sometimes (especially as far as the bedroom goes).

    Every woman is unique, and if you really cherish the women you're with in your life there's going to be things about them you'll always remember (and miss).

    So yes, it's normal (at least in my opinion)
     
  4. tiggerpoo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2006
    Messages:
    1,468
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Columbia, Missouri, US

    Well expressed. Certainly represents my experience.
     
  5. D_Tamerton Taintpussie

    D_Tamerton Taintpussie Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    My recent ex turned out to be very messed up as a person, so I know that us being over is for the best. However, he was the most incredible kisser I've ever kissed. I keep looking for a guy that even comes close in that department - and they just don't. He was also technically very good with his hands and tongue. I'm sure he could make a stone come. Even though he was a total narcissist, it was a matter of pride to him that the person he was with had an orgasm. When I've messed around with guys recently (mostly heavy petting, with one exception), they seem utterly unconcerned with whether I get off or not (even though I make sure they do even though I'm not sleeping with them).

    So yes, even though my ex was abusive on so many levels I do miss him physically, and think about him (especially kissing him) sometimes when I masturbate.
     
  6. Corius

    Corius New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan
    Some of us, many of us I hope, still have continuing good relationships (non-sexual) with our former partners. I am fortunate in having three men and two women who are still friends whom I dearly love who were my faithful partners in long- term relationships (two years or more) between my fifteenth and twenty-seventh birthdays. It was then that I met the dear lady who was as eager and willing as I was to spend the rest of our years together. The pattern in all of these earlier relationships was the same: we became friends, then more than friends and when the sex between us came about it came about very naturally and was the confirmation of the bond of love that already was there. That kind of sex seems only to get better over time. I was truly sad at each parting as were my ex-partners, but in those days as we were trying to get our education and establish ourselves in our chosen careers we accepted the fact that the relationship with all the wonderful sex would end. I have been extremely happy as a faithful husband, but when I do occasionally see my former partners I know and they know that that old feeling is still in our hearts. Age does not make them less sexually attractive to me. The sex has passed but the love we have for each other is still there.
     
  7. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    My ex (of 15 years) was sex mad.

    5'10" and blonde and could stop traffic.

    She had such a libido that one man could never suffice (In the divorce papers, I actually cited three guys who were cuckolding me - and all three of them were cuckolding me on the same day). Crazy lady.

    My new lady is 4'11" and brunette (go figure) and I love her to bits, but she's also a nympho (I guess I must attract them, for some reason:biggrin1:).

    My old lady has been a part of my life throughout, cuz of the kids, but I never even really saw her until about a month ago.

    Now when she comes around to talk about kids and stuff I keep feeling the urge to have sex with her again.

    What gives?

    I can't stand her, yet I wanna fuck her.
     
  8. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I don't want to fuck any of my exes. And they don't want to fuck me either. All for the greater good.

    I would love to meet a man that will restore my faith in loving men again. I really didn't get treated really well in the last LTR. :frown1:
     
  9. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    You will.

    They will.

    Such is life.

    Enjoy.
     
  10. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Central Florida
    About three years ago I get a call from out of the blue from a girl that I was engaged to, but it was never meant to be. Lots of crapola on both sides. She found my name through an Internet search and just called to chat. Said she heard that I was no longer married and wondered what I was up to.

    Well, first thing I told her was that I got remarried and doing basically the same thing I was doing when we broke up - just in a different town.

    Then she started rambling on and on about how my marriage was, about my wife and stuff like that. I'm not dense and realized that she was trying to see how faithful I was.

    Honestly, I have no idea where she is in her life, if she's still married (divorced twice) or even where she's living. I know where her parents live, and my relatives still tell me about them every so often, like when I go home to visit about every couple of years.

    Nope. No fantasies about exes, any exes. The sex was good, but not any better than what I have now. (NOTE: my wife reads these boards; love you, darling)

    I did tell my wife about the call, and we talked about it a lot. We talked about her ex and ex-lovers, too.

    We're both very happy where we are right now. Memories are cool things, but I never let them get in the way of the present.
     
  11. Mr. Snakey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    24,702
    Likes Received:
    25
    Given time everything in life falls into place all by itself whether we worry or not. In due time all things come to all people. I think the pivotal point is believeing in the reality of our dreams and knowing they can come true and never giving up hope.
     
  12. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    But if one of your exe's was 18" from you and no-one would know and she looked at you in "that" way, would you not make a play?

    One last round.......Even if only for old times-sake.:wink:
     
  13. MidwestGal

    MidwestGal Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    952
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    my soon to be ex husband was not anything to brag about. I've had better lover's in my lifetime than him.
     
  14. MattBrick

    MattBrick Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    920
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NJ
    Yes, that's pretty normal.
    I don't want to scare you....but the truth is girls do it all the time too.
    It doesn't mean you are thinking about leaving your wife. You shouldn't in fact.
    One other point to ponder is this: Sometimes memory is golden. We may remember things in a different light than we saw things while they were happening.
     
  15. eastbaydude

    eastbaydude New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2005
    Messages:
    488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    It's normal to have fantasies about your ex.

    My ex and I have two kids together so I'm still in regualr contact with her. We had a complicated relationship - couldn't live together/couldn't live apart. I can't tell you how many times we broke up and got back together. Yes, the sex was great and yes I still fatasize about her.

    With an ex, it's so easy to remember the good times and forget about the bad.

    Two bits of advice - both from personal experience:

    Do not go back to you ex. You broke up for a reason. (Certainly don't go back more than once.)

    Do not tell you new partner about the ex. There is ZERO to be gained other than adding one more person to your list of ex-es.

    Let her remain your personal , jack-off mental images.




     
  16. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Central Florida
    No way, man. And I know it's true because I've met many women who have looked at me in "that way" and, while tempted, I just know that it would open up a 55 gallon drum of shit. Not worth it.

    As for the old investment we had, that's long gone and not worth revisiting.

    But I strongly suspected that she was looking to rekindle something.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted