I had a lot of friends growing up that I had crushes on. I would intentionally try and see them shirtless and wanted to be around them often. I’m just wondering if straight guys 10+ years later know that I was doing that. Or if it made them uncomfortable. Anyone have similar situations?
Your Friends Who Ended Up Coming Out Years Later, Did You Know They Were Gay?
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twoton
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No. There were a few that were "outed" to me, meaning that they were already out but I didn't know it until my girlfriend's friend talked about it, and I said, "You mean he's gay?" and she said, "You didn't know that? How could you not know that?!" and my girlfriend said, "We went to a party at his house. You didn't know they were living together?"
And the friend said, "What about [another guy]? Did you know he's gay?"
And I answered, "No, I had no idea."
And she said, "Most of those guys at the gym are gay."
"They are?"
etc.
And the friend said, "What about [another guy]? Did you know he's gay?"
And I answered, "No, I had no idea."
And she said, "Most of those guys at the gym are gay."
"They are?"
etc.
My one longtime gay friend isn't out. Everyone knows but him. He's so far back in the closet he's basically in Narnia.
AlteredEgo
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I grew up with a guy like that. I was pretty hurt that it took him so long to come out to us. I've mentioned on this site before that I have been clinically dead several times. One of those times, I died in his arms. Of all my memories of death, that one is the most peaceful. It is a blessing to die in the arms of someone who loves you very much. At any rate, I felt that experience should have made us so close that there wouldn't be something as trivial as sexual orientation between us.
But, he came out when he was ready. Big eyes full of tears and fears, but received very well and very openly by the love of all of his friends. Of course we knew.
Our parents knew. He was pretty much the only boy allowed at our slumber parties. He seemed surprised that none of us were shocked. I reminded him that he knows my mother very well and should have known that only a gay dude would have been allowed to sleep over.
He was the first of us to figure out cream foundation. He was the first of us to figure out curling irons and crimping irons. He was the first of us to figure out how to wear two different patterns and not look mismatched. His sister found a shitload of gay porn hidden behind his dresser when she dropped something back there. That was the final piece of confirmation, but we had all known our entire lives.
I'm happy he doesn't live in a closet. I live in my husband's closet. The closet is a terrible place to which to be resigned. My most fervent wish is for freedom for everybody.
My best friend’s daughter just got engaged. She’s very young, unworldly, and immature. It’s her first real boyfriend, and she pursued him. They met at church. The guy appears to be gay - - I dislike stereotypes, but he checks off all the boxes: flamboyant in his speech and mannerisms; has gay friends (they just attended a gay wedding); loves Broadway show tunes. My wife and I seem to be the ONLY ones who see this. We’ve not said anything to anyone, it’s not our place, and we hope we’re wrong. Maybe they have an understanding.
AlteredEgo
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When he can't hold it in any longer, tell her to Google Straight Spouse Network. She can ask for a referral to her nearest chapter, and once she has a coffee meet with one of our members anywhere in the world, she can choose to join our private Facebook Group. She can join even if she plans to remain in her mixed orientation marriage. She doesn't have to figure her life out alone.
Thank you for this. The wedding isn’t for 18 months. If he is, I hope he figures it out and does what is right for himself, and for her.
AlteredEgo
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I hope so too. I really, really do, and I wish them two lifetimes of happiness together. Unfortunately, our support network has many thousands of members worldwide. Nobody wants to have this in common with her, but if we do, help her find us.
had a friend come out. Same as many on here, we all knew, or suspected. It was after a night of clubbing. I think the first reply is "we know, now pass the ketchup". Zero fucks given. Hes our friend, nothing else mattered
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