Your Parents - How Do You Feel About Them?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Flashy, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. Flashy

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    honestly, when you think about it, factor in your past and current relations with them, factor in all the positives and negatives, how do you feel about each overall? Love, ambivalence, appreciation, coldness, distant, hatred, do not even know one or the other?


    My Mother - Love Her
    My Father - Hate Him
     
  2. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Don't really care much for either of mine. Not all familial relationships are healthy. They were neglectful when I was growing up, then as an adult there was not much of a relationship to return to as it was poor to begin with. I tried, but couldn't really do much with it as it just reverts to what it always was. It comes down to the law of diminishing returns. May as spend effort on relationships with people that have a chance of developing.
     
  3. Northland

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    I don't feel anything about them. Why? Because they're dead. Dead, dead, dead!

    Looking back on them, they both did the best they were capable of in expressing love and guiding their children. What more could I ask for or expect?
     
  4. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Mum: adore her, learned me so much, best parent u could have

    Dad: not hate, just dislike him, was no good, wasn't a dad.
     
  5. D_Relentless Original

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    Love my Mum, she made so many sacrifices for me when i was a child, she uprooted herself and moved miles away starting a new life that would benefit me growing up away from trouble.

    I have not spoken with my father in 24 years, i made an effort five years ago, he's still a bum, drunkard and always wants money he has never done anything for me as a father or anything else.can't say i hate him, just don't need him and the trouble he causes even now.
     
  6. swedish fish88

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    Dad- a great father, and a kid at heart, which has kept him going through hard times.

    Mom-.... A woman who never really grew up, and still acts very much like a child.
     
  7. Symphonic

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    Same.
     
  8. Joll

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    They tried their best, and me and my bro n sisters had quite a happy childhood. Bit extreme tho - but nuts and funny too.

    Get on really well with my Dad - good fun and does ace impressions of ppl. Always good to chat with him when he's putting on Tony Blair or George Bush voices, lol.

    Dont get on so well with my Mum - she's a nice person but very intense, and better from a distance. She tries her best, but we dont think the same way about a lot of things.
     
  9. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    my mother tried is all i can say. i lived mostly with my grandparents while growing up. i guess that is why i got married when i was 17. i still talk to my mom and i wouldnt want anything to happen to her.

    my father i could give a rat's ass. i never knew him and 4 years ago he calls me and we start talking. now it has been 3 years since we last talk, he dont want nothing to do with me. am just glad he lives in a different state.
     
  10. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    tardis i feel the same way about my dad i knew met him or nothing. he is fine with his step children but not me. i just wish him and his half sister just left me alone i was better off not knowing... (he told me one time i will never do to you like my father did to me) his words.. but what does he think he did. what comes around goes around. he will never know me or his grandchildren.
     
  11. DGirl

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    My momma-

    She worked her ass off to take care off us..
    Put us first.
    Love her no matter what!
    I hope she lives long enough to see a baby from me.



    My Dad-

    Damn I miss him!:frown1::frown1::frown1::frown1:
    He was the best man and a really hell of a GREAT dad.
    Treated me like a kid should be. He made me happy.
    Never spanked me. Bought me whatever I wanted.
     
  12. nudeyorker

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    As with every relationship, mine with my mother, father and step father had it ups and downs through life, but we all managed to find some common ground for love and respect later in our lives. My mother and father are dead and I miss them dearly. I wish we had found that common ground sooner rather than later but I'm grateful that we did.
     
  13. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    Mom-love her, but its taken a long time to accept shes never going to change and really wasnt a good mother

    Father-dead-but hated him while he was alive, a drunk that coundt keep a job and a pedaphile
     
  14. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Mother - love her, admire her, look up to her, hope I can be like her...

    Father - didn't always love him or know him, but over the past 10 years, I've gained a lot of love and respect for him that I wasn't sure I'd ever have.
     
  15. blg3floor3

    blg3floor3 New Member

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    Mostly indifferent to my dad. I used to love him to pieces when I was younger, but the last few times I visited him (12, then 14, then 17 years old) he did a few petty and ridiculous things that rubbed me the wrong way and lowered my view to indifferent.

    I can't stand my mom. I could write a post so long about her, it'd take an hour to read, bare minimum. I used to love her to pieces too when I was younger, but then:

    this. Way too many years of neglect, indifference, and poor treatment killed it for me. She always said I love my kids this, I love my kids that, they're my world, etc. But actions speak louder than words and her actions showed otherwise. We never went anywhere, never did anything, never had anything, never visited anyone. She was too busy, and too broke, strung out on drugs all the time. It's also why I don't give a shit about holidays, my birthday, and other special occasions in general - they were never anything special. Holidays and birthdays were like jobs or house chores to her, rather than happy celebrations.

    I finally moved out earlier this year and she finally moved out of state (she was waiting until after my grandmother died, which happened last year). My part of the goodbye the last time I saw her was the same as if I was just going to the store or going to work ("Yup. Yeah. Okay. Alright, k, bye."). I don't plan on going out to visit. It won't bother me either way if I never see her again.
     
  16. Dave NoCal

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    I love both of my parents yet in both cases it's complicated. They are really GOOD people but external events contributed to me not having formed real strong attachments. They talk a good line but their relationship has never been fulfililng, all 60+ years! To me it was a relief to go away to school at age fourteen. I was never homesick and, from that point on, became an occasional visitor. Of their children, I think I am the least like them and this has led to a pleasant formality in our relationship. When we talk on the phone, ten minutes is plenty for me. We cover the bases. When my husband talks with them they go on for an hour, joking, swapping stories, etc...

    I often wish it had been different but it is the way it is. We all tried but never formed a strong emotional connection. My father has interpersonal patterns of behavior that annoyed and disappointed me a lot when I was young and I learned not to let him close enough to affect me much. I feel badly for my mother as I think her married life has been a let down.

    Good topic, Tardis!

    Dave
     
  17. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I have the utmost respect and love for them both. They had nothing when I was a kid but we were "rich" in many other ways. They worked hard and played hard and encouraged me to do the same. They ended up being very comfortable.

    Both retired early in their 50's to look after their own parents and things were tight for them for a while. That was a time when I was at my peak workwise so I was able to help them out a fair bit. They never asked me but accepted reluctantly.

    Now they are both in their early 70's and in very good health and they'd pass for a lot younger. They travel over from the UK about 3 times a year and stay with us. They next come over in September along with some aunts and uncles. I know we will have a blast. :biggrin1: They treat my partner Paul like they do me and insist he calls them Mum and Dad.

    They came over last year for a month to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and they insisted on going clubbing with us. We were all out til 5am :eek: Mother recently had to admit defeat and get hearing aids. The Doctor was in stitches when she asked if they would work OK in Discos and Nightclubs with all the loud music.

    Bless them both as I could not have wished or hand picked better parents.
     
  18. DiscoBoy

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    Mother - Appreciate her but don't necessarily like her. She tries, occasionally.

    Father - I feel complete and utter disdain toward him. Horrible person.
     
  19. Mem

    Mem
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    My parents are great. I love them very much.
     
  20. MalakingTiti

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    My parents are great people. My dad is hilarious.
     
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