your partner has had more partners than you (uncountable)?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ring27, Jun 26, 2009.

  1. ring27

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    my gf mentioned last night that she cannot remember the number of guys she has slept with. I couldnt perform in bed after she said this and I am still trying to tell myself that I should move on from her past. Anyone in my shoes who has dealt with a similar scenario?

    PS: my count is less than 10, which includes essentially no one night stands.
     
  2. Pitbull

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    At some time most guys will deal with this.
    It is a fact of life you must get over or you will have relationship and performance issues (wait you already have - guess you have to get over it in a hurry)

    A woman who wants sex can find a partner a lot easier than a man who wants sex.
    The situation is an affirmation of this fact and has nothing to do with you, your worth or your sexual attractiveness or your girlfriend and her sexual behavior.

    You have had 10 partners.
    If she had 10 would it bother you?

    Now if she has had 100 and you had 100 would it bother you?

    Honestly - if all those nights you spent alone and a woman knocked at your door and said "Lets fuck" you would have.

    Women can deal with their sexual needs and desires better than a man can because they can usually find a willing partner. A partner who leaves much to be desired - hence the one night stand.
    She finds you desirable as more than a fuck - so you are boyfriend material.
    Work on being her boyfriend.

    On sexdrive:
    Women can go for a ride.
    Men usually have to be content playing with the stickshift pretending to go for a ride.
     
  3. grower_60

    grower_60 New Member

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    Pitbull's correct. I've been married for over 30 years and I'm sure my wife has had more partners than me. But we still have something good together and the sex is amazing, at least to me and she seems to enjoy it very much. However sometimes she wants something different. Don't we all?
     
  4. nicenycdick

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    As soon as women in the '60's discovered that they could have sex without becoming social outcasts, all the women I knew became much more experienced that the men. As others have said, if a woman wants it, there is a man around to say "yes". It ain't always true the other way around...
     
  5. Principessa

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  6. mako shark

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    I don't ask them, although it seems fairly easy to tell. The number really has no bearing on my relationships.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    I have had sex with women who clearly had many more partners than me, and it didn't worry me at the time. At the time I never compared myself to any partner's past lovers, and all I did was my best to make our time sexually satisfying for both of us.

    I don't think it takes 100 partners to be a sexual expert, and probably several partners in a lifetime is sufficient. Which isn't to say that some of us do end up losing count of past partners, such as myself.
     
  8. dolfette

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    my last bf was in the 100+, including some porn flick.
    and i can still count mine on my digits.
    who gives a shit?

    she's coming back for more, night after night, week after week.
    so take that as a hint ffs!
     
  9. Wish-4-8

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    I saw an episode of Roseanne where this was an issue. The way it was resloved was that the insecure guy (Jackie's boyfriend) was told by another source (Dan) that he over heard the girls talking saying that he was the best out of all of them. That turned a "negative" into a positive. To be singled out, out of all of them made him "king".
     
  10. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

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    #10 greatdickismydrug, Jun 28, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2009
  11. Pitbull

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    I would say usually this is true but not always.

    I think it certainly is possible to move on without a negative effect but that involves a lot of growth and a level of maturity that for most people is difficult to achieve.
     
  12. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    sorry, your girl's a trashy slut if she's TELLING you she's banged so many guys she can't even remember the number. That's just insulting to the guy she's with currently. Even if it were true, for her to say that is shitty. I wouldn't say that to any woman and wouldn't stand it if some woman said that to me.

    Another reason my policy is "don't ask don't tell."

    Now get out there and start banging chicks, until your number is high enough that you won't be comparing it to others.
     
  13. dolfette

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    OR she thought it was a bloody stupid question and replied with a dismissive ''i don't remember''.
    which is exactly what i say to such idiocy. it doesn't mean i've slept with hundreds. it means it's none of your damn business.
     
  14. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

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    I agree with this reply, she probably does think the question was bullshit. OP will be lucky if she fucks him again.

    But, what if she did sleep with more than she can remember? Maybe she only remembers the good ones? Maybe she is not into counting? Counting is easy when done on one hand. Those of us who have had more than ten lovers may not care to start counting on our toes or notch our belts. What if it really is hundreds? What is the perfect answer?

    I doubt that she "just mentioned it"... LOL My bet is that OP asked her, perhaps even pestered her to come up with an exact number...then he got an answer that he didn't like and a limp dick to boot.

    Nothing more unattractive in bed than insecurity. OP won't get over it. As I suggested previously he should get a new GF...but ask the new one the stupid question prior to having sex with her this way she won't have to waste the energy taking off her clothes.

    I'm curious....what is the perfect number? Maybe we should start a poll? No, wait...maybe Bonky has already posted the, "What is your perfect number of former lovers?" poll??? Let me check...
     
    #14 greatdickismydrug, Jun 28, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2009
  15. Honey123

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    When I was fairly new in my relationship with my ex he asked questions about my past relationships and I answered honestly. I didn't know that I was supposed to lie and tell him that he was the only one. It messed up his head and was a frequent subject of arguments the entire time we were together. He couldn't get past it.

    A woman with about 20 past men might not be sure if it was 18 or 22 or somewhere in between if she hadn't counted. And there may be a few nights that she doesn't remember if she partied hard in college. I'm not sure of my exact number, but I have a rough idea. Maybe she just didn't want to tell you the exact number... how did it come up anyway? Did you ask?
     
  16. mako shark

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    Good points Honey123. This is a subject that really should not be brought up ever. If you are an experianced lover it is quite easy to tell how experianced your partner is... If a partner answers with a higher number than you were expecting, typically this information indimidates the inexperianced one and ends up being a good reason to argue/fight...

     
  17. therunningman

    therunningman New Member

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    haha...simply priceless.

    honestly tho, who cares how many people your partner has been with. it sounds like someone needs an insecurity check.

     
  18. WolvesInTheThroneRoom

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    <--- Loves promiscuous women...and loves to hear the stories and I find they love telling them when they see it turns you on and that you're not insecure. Who wants to live in a fantasy world where women don't do one night stands or don't take a guy home just because they want to be fucked by them?
     
  19. cbrmale

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    I told my wife when we got serious because we were serious. To a large extent my promiscuity was a reflection on me being very insecure about relationships, and the thing that made my relationship with my wife different was that she was the first woman I had truly loved. I also felt guilty to a degree about what I'd done, and I thought it best to confess. For me it was about drawing and line so that I could start over again with someone very, very special.
     
  20. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    well, most people get a little insecure when they know they're with a slut or ex-slut. I think it's human nature.
     
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