Your reaction to friend/family being gay

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_lrgeggs, Feb 13, 2010.

  1. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    Was just wondering what people's reactions are to finding out someone is gay. Sometimes its not a surprise. But have you ever been truly floored?
    While I know I just react to help whoever it is feel comfortable by saying the appropiate things, I am not really that comfortable dealing with these issues. While I talk about sex on line. In my real life....this is one issue I try to stay away from. How about you? TTFN
     
  2. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I am never floored anymore. I've lived around so many completely-out gay and lesbian folks that I'm more surprised when I run into someone who thinks it's a big deal.

    BTW, the reason why "Don't Ask Don't Tell" was controversial in the early 90s but is viewed as discrimination now is because of gay and lesbian folks coming out to their family, friends and co-workers. If you're straight and people you know and love turn out to be gay, all of a sudden you can't view gay-ness as being a black-and-white issue.
     
  3. NorthernSchlong

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    When my sister came out as a transgender lesbian I was shocked but very accepting, especially since I'm also bisexual.
     
  4. lvsxy808

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    No reaction at all. It's a non-issue to me.

    What is interesting to me, though, is watchingother people's reactions. I work in a job where there's a lot of employee turnover so I'm constantly doing the getting-to-know-you conversation with now people. And when I throw in the word "boyfriend" completely nonchalantly, I like to see the other person's reaction.

    In the vast majority of cases, there is none, at least not openly. Not even an exclamation of neutral surprise. But then it's a fairly gay-friendly business in a fairly gay-friendly city, and as mentioned elsewhere, if you act in a non-issue way, othrs will follow your lead.

    The most extreme reaction I've experienced recently was a split-second hesitation as I could see the thought, "Yes, he did actually say what I thought he said," going through his mind before carrying on as normal.
     
  5. D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

    D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov Account Disabled

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    Usually I am not surprised any more, unless it is someone you would gladly stick your neck out for, lol.

    Yet, it makes a difference whether it is a person telling you in confidence about their own sexuality or telling you about someone else behind their back. I don't like the second case, because that is gossip.
     
  6. the_reverend

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    my mom and i both knew my sister was gay before she came out, and she denied it anytime we'd talk to her about it. then, finally, she came out to us in the immediate family and was surprised when we weren't shocked by it. lol!

    of course, now she likes to joke with me, "it figures. you're into theatre and musicals and all that, and I'M the one that turns out to be gay." then i remind her of her youthful days playing softball and propensity for flannel and she backs down. ;)
     
  7. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    Generally, I am a guy who colors in between the lines. And even thought I have same sex atttraction myself. It is something I really was never comfortable with. The fact that AIDS came out the same time I was in college and perhaps the most sexual did not help.
     
  8. hesastar18

    hesastar18 Member

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    just found out one of my buds is gay a couple days ago man was i shocked couldnt belive it still cant lol but its no big deal to me we still remain friends he is still cool with me.
     
  9. joeweekend

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    My reaction: "Is he cute?"
     
  10. killerb

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    in the past i did react badly when a friend of mine came out to me...not because he was gay, but because he had been very dishonest with me several times...

    since then, i've found out or have been told that other friends/family members are gay & i don't really react at all...it's a non-issue to me...and most times i've either already known or at least suspected...
     
  11. Tense0000

    Tense0000 Active Member

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    My first cousin came out to me at my grandmothers funeral. Though I was floored because of the location he chose to do it in, I hugged him and told him as long as he is happy , I am fine with it. Then he introduced me to his partner. All in 5 mins of entering the funeral home. After that day I re-kindled our relationship (lost touch for years due to school in another state) and have dinner at their home once a week. Now I have someone to talk to about my bi-curiosity. LOL
     
  12. hud01

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    80 to 90 percent of the time it is obvious. The other 20 percent, nothing much shocks me anymore.
     
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