Your response to "size doesn't matter"

[crossy]

I am inclined to believe that men who have self esteem or insecurity issues might have obsessional, overwhelming concerns about their penis.
I have arguably the shortest dick (4.5 inchs on a good day) in this forum and have never had any complaints nor any comments.

 

[the_reverend]

I have no (long term) problem with breaking up with people because they are lazy/rubbish in bed/clingy and so on, but frankly if someone broke up with me because of my cock size I'd be a) suprised and b) think I'm better off without her. If a girl did it on a night out I'd consider it to be her loss and go on with things, however I think b. would still apply

but if the penis size was directly affecting her enjoyment of the sexual side of the relationship, wouldn't that fall under the "rubbish in bed" category you just listed? i mean, if the girl says "yeah, the sex is great...BUT your dick is too small so i'm leaving you," i could see a case there. but if the sexual side isn't clicking for whatever reason, there are going to be problems down the road.

well have preferences in people we want to date and/or sleep with. whether they're physical or personality based, we all do. if a girl's honestly not satisfied in a relationship because her man isn't endowed in the manner she wishes (too small, too big, too curved, whatever)...isn't it better for both parties that they end it and both look for someone who completes them a bit better? the alternative seems to be either constantly berating the poor fellow and reminding him that he's not her ideal but she's settled for him, or her suppressing her emotions, saying nothing and eventually growing bitter and resentful and taking it out on him. i don't think the girl has to say "your penis is the wrong size so i'm leaving you," but be a bit more tactful and diplomatic and say it's just not working out or whatever to spare his ego and i think you're fine. both parties deserve to be happy, and sometimes that means risking letting go of something you have to find something that fits better (no pun intended. :tongue.

 

[D_Penelope Clitstop]

I dnt think size matters personally

 

[walla99]

It doesn't matter - to a point. I mean if I'm having great sex and *my needs are being met sexually* and the relationship is going well...then no size doesn't matter. Every man I've been with has fallen into "average" until my most recent guy and if anything being a bigger size has had it's challenges. I've dated guys who have premature ejaculation, ED and other issues but if all else is good, we work around that...if the sex is bad and the guy is not willing to do anything about it, THAT matters.

For some women, if their needs require a bigger penis, then so be it.

I did date one guy where I couldn't really feel it at all and that may have been a problem, but since it never went very far, I don't know. Sex is an important part of a relationship though, so it's just going to vary - I have a few friends where just having sex just isn't something they like.

 

[whatireallywant]

I have two male friends for whom having less than D-cups is a dealbreaker. That's the smallest size they'll go for but they both prefer much larger. They refuse to date or go out with any woman with less. I don't meet their cup requirements for anything more than being a friend.

So yes...I'd say rejections based on physical size happens on the male side of the fence too. But I notice they don't get called names or are told they're shallow for admitting women they date must be D cup or larger.

I've run into this too...

 

[Ldnn]

i don't think the girl has to say "your penis is the wrong size so i'm leaving you," but be a bit more tactful and diplomatic and say it's just not working out or whatever to spare his ego and i think you're fine.

Agreed, and yes it would be under "rubbish in bed" - if she needs something more substantial, sure, why not move on.

 

[B_46and2]

If a guy has a small dick and a girl wants to move on because of it, then more power to her!!! Tell the guy the truth in a matter-of-fact way, of course. :wink:


We men are such babies about our weenies. If you are with a girl and she has had sex with a bunch of guys with bigger shlongs, and she enjoyed it, BE HAPPY FOR HER. You probably banged a chick or two with a frog's-ass-tight gherkin holster. Felt pretty good didn't it? Now you're seeing what I be saying n' shit.

OUT.

 

[rob_just_rob]

This thread seems to have wandered from "What would you (as a woman) say to your female friends who say size doesn't matter?" to "what would you say to a guy who was too small?"

In both cases, if these were people worth caring about, I'd say that any response should be tactful. No point in rubbing salt in a wound, or insisting that your friends don't know what they're talking about.

 

[whatireallywant]

This thread seems to have wandered from "What would you (as a woman) say to your female friends who say size doesn't matter?" to "what would you say to a guy who was too small?"

In both cases, if these were people worth caring about, I'd say that any response should be tactful. No point in rubbing salt in a wound, or insisting that your friends don't know what they're talking about.

Agreed.

I have NEVER said to a guy that he was too small. And I wouldn't, either. I might break up with him because of sexual incompatibility, but I'd put it tactfully, say "It's just not working out" or something like that.

And as far as female friends who prefer average or who say that size doesn't matter? Of course I believe them. Although I probably have an easier time believing the ones who prefer average than the ones who say that size doesn't matter at all, since I really don't think that "one size fits all" here... but maybe that person can feel different sensations from different sizes and enjoy them all. I can believe that. My experience has been different, but it is just as true for me as theirs is for them.

 

[SereneBlue]

I suspect most women say size doesn't matter because - like me - they've never been confronted with either extreme. Without first hand knowledge of either extreme of course it's easy to tell your girlfriends or yourself that size doesn't matter.

 

[TheRob]

I have two male friends for whom having less than D-cups is a dealbreaker. That's the smallest size they'll go for but they both prefer much larger. They refuse to date or go out with any woman with less. I don't meet their cup requirements for anything more than being a friend.

So yes...I'd say rejections based on physical size happens on the male side of the fence too. But I notice they don't get called names or are told they're shallow for admitting women they date must be D cup or larger.

I think those guys are stuipd
totally stupid

 

[B_DEATHbyCARROT]

I have two male friends for whom having less than D-cups is a dealbreaker. That's the smallest size they'll go for but they both prefer much larger. They refuse to date or go out with any woman with less. I don't meet their cup requirements for anything more than being a friend.

So yes...I'd say rejections based on physical size happens on the male side of the fence too. But I notice they don't get called names or are told they're shallow for admitting women they date must be D cup or larger.

They would by me... It's hard to tell someone that their personal preference is somehow wrong, but there is a point where preferences get ridiculous and become fetishes. They are past that point.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

I think you just confirmed the reason why a lot of men feel like they can't believe a woman when she says she doesn't care about size. I don't think that many guys think women are lying per se, just that they think it looks bad for them to say it because of they are "automatically programed" and can't admit it.

The toughening up bit is a lot easier said than done... No one chooses to be insecure or feel bad about a body part after all. Just ask any woman who thinks her breasts are too small or her ass is too flat.

Sometimes (and I'm not accusing you of this in particular) I get the impression that a lot of women think a man should not be subject to this kind of insecurity about themselves. An insecurity that EVERY woman I have met and talked to long enough has expressed about some part of themselves...

I guess it's just not "manly"??

I dont think women expect men to have no insecurities. Majority of women (myself as well) are insecure about our body apperance in general and very rarely will we focus on just one bit we dont like. But men seem to focus on their size as their main insecurity.

Maybe one day we will also overcome our insecurities that people only tell us what we want to hear, be it the truth or not

that's stupid to say Lee_M, you are insecure about something BECAUSE it's important to other people
you can't go the other way
that would be like me staring at some girls tits and telling a flatchested girl she just shouldn't care...

Well now that isn't entirely true. Many insecurities are unjustified. Actually i would argue that majority of the times it is the person themselves who see it a problem rather then others. Eg;anorexia.

Could you clarify what you mean by "automatically programmed"?

I always assumed it was every gorl but maybe not. From as far back as i can remember i was taught you don't tell people they are ugly or stupid and you dont tell men they have a small cock. It is basically programmed into your head that it is something you don't do. The ultimate insult to any man

 

[SereneBlue]

I always assumed it was every gorl but maybe not. From as far back as i can remember i was taught you don't tell people they are ugly or stupid

Yes. Of course. That's what most parents teach little children (I hope). I guess you use 'automatically programmed' to mean "socially conditioned'.

To me the term automatic programming sounds like you're saying it's instinctive. As in - little children won't tell someone they're fat and ugly even if they find that person to be so because it is instinctive (untaught) to refrain from blurting out such commentary.

and you dont tell men they have a small cock. It is basically programmed into your head that it is something you don't do. The ultimate insult to any man

Sex was never discussed when I was growing up. It was the ultimate taboo. So there was no instruction about not telling a man he has a small penis - or a large one for that matter - because that's something that's not to be discussed. Penis size along with everything else about sex is something polite people just don't discuss...anywhere...period. I had no idea men had any hangups about their penis until only 2 years ago. Needless to say no one in my family knows I post here.

 

[lamplight]

I'd like to flip this around a bit...

Personally, when I'm in a relationship with someone, I don't wanna be wondering if the girl wouldn't love me as much if i was smaller. That would be awful. I remember my ex going on and on about my dick, telling med how much it turned her on, but when you got right down to it, she really treated me quite poorly as a person. In the end i started to wonder if she was just with me because of my size, and in my book, that's way more hurtful.

So for me, I guess you can say I have an "Attitude does matter" preference, and I would think most guys do if they're not completely consumed by their own ego.

I've actually turned girls down a couple of times because I felt they were more interested in my size than me. What a turnoff. I felt like giving them a Richard Dawkins "evolutionary psychology" book and tell them to go masturbate to it. :biggrin1:

 

[Damian Johnson]

Size doesnt matter!!!!

HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!

Best joke of the day!!:biggrin1:

 

[Mule]

They would by me... It's hard to tell someone that their personal preference is somehow wrong, but there is a point where preferences get ridiculous and become fetishes. They are past that point.

This is an important point, and absolutely on the money as far as I'm concerned. It's one thing to have a preference, but if one physical attribute becomes a dealbreaker, that person should take a long, hard (pun intended) look at themselves and their motivations.

That said, if we're simply talking about no-strings fun, without any kind of long-term relationship, I think that preferences can occupy a larger (pun intended again) role in making a choice of who one plays with.

 

[diamond]

This is an important point, and absolutely on the money as far as I'm concerned. It's one thing to have a preference, but if one physical attribute becomes a dealbreaker, that person should take a long, hard (pun intended) look at themselves and their motivations.

I think for myself size matters a great deal, and it is a deal breaker for longer term relationships if the guy is not hung. Given that I also require the rest, as well, ie kindness, intelligence, humor, etc, etc.

I have taken a long hard look at myself, and have come to terms that my taste or preference for "horse sized" men is more a fetish/obsession rather than a preference.

 

[Mule]

I think for myself size matters a great deal, and it is a deal breaker for longer term relationships if the guy is not hung. Given that I also require the rest, as well, ie kindness, intelligence, humor, etc, etc.

I have taken a long hard look at myself, and have come to terms that my taste or preference for "horse sized" men is more a fetish/obsession rather than a preference.

I think that's fair enough, Diamond... at least you're honest with yourself about what you want. So long as you are diplomatic and sensitive to the guys that might not meet your requirements, I think that it is okay to hold onto your preference as a necessary attribute for your satisfaction with the relationship.

 

[Grindin]

I would be dissappointed if a girl told me size didn't matter.