Your Romantic History

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by txquis, Jan 19, 2005.

  1. txquis

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    Anybody ever been in love?
    Ever been in a long term relationship?

    I'm curious, because we all share our sexual banging history, but we dont
    share much here about our long term or "in love" history....Here is mine.

    COLLEGE GIRL -dated for awhile..still leaned more toward guys, she gave me her blessing and sent me out of the closet.
    COLLEGE BOY -first real guy experience. My college roommate. After college, he "jumped the fence" and married a woman, and now has kids.(sigh)
    LOVE OF MY LIFE SO FAR GUY- together for five years. We lived together and shared expenses, love and life. Ending was hideous.
    THE LONG DISTANCE- Out of state-er, helped me to heal my heart and repair my ego. my best friend on this earth...but...he cant move here, i cant move there....(sigh).

    Right now, single again.
    Anyone else willing to share?
     
  2. Imported

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    surf221: i'm still pretty young so i can't say that i have even half the amount that txquis managed to post up there....

    there was the one girl in highschool...loved her like crazy...we dated for half junior year and all of senoir year...things fell apart at the end, even though i didn't want them too...i kind of got the feeling like she didn't love me as much as i love her...but that's cool...it was a fun time

    then there's the recent girl...knew her from way back in the day...ended up going to the same college, hung out a lot together cause we were the only people that we knew there, one thing led to another...et viola...she's pretty awesome, and i would do anything for her...but it recently ended (like 2 weeks ago)...we had a little fight,


    right now...looking to meet everyone and anyone
     
  3. cypher13

    cypher13 New Member

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    Ah, I have been in "love" many, many times. Hundreds...thousands of times. More often than not, it was not returned or the object of my "love" had no idea I so much as existed. So was it love? Probably not, actually.

    I have been married once for five and a half years; my wife ultimately threw me out and divorced me because of certain things I did. No, not cheating and no, not to her and no, not what'smentioned below. She still has a special place in my heart, almost fifteen years after the divorce.

    I have lived with a woman, for extended periods, on three occasions. Two of these relationships ended nicely; the most recent one was very acrimonious.

    With my wife, I have one son who just turned 18 and is regularly in my life. I also have four illegitimate children whom I support, along with their moms. I love all of my children dearly, I freely acknowledge they are my children and were it not for geography, woud spend far more time with them, though I do see all of them on a fairly regular basis. Three of the "moms" are all right to me; one is not. All four of them have trust funds and no one, mom or child, wants for anything. How's that for a confession?

    There have been many, many other Internet and long distance relationships, as well as casual encounters that...well I like to think I can remember all of them, but I do know better than that, don't I?

    So, I have been actively "loving" women for what, 33 years now...out of the hundreds of women with whom I have been involved in one capacity of another, I would say that I really, really cared about six of them, in the sense that after I got to know them, I can honestly say that I would have wanted to spend the next six months, six years, six decades or, depending on the unknowable nature of life itself, maybe even all of eternity with any one of them.

    Fortunately, one such woman is in my life now. angy, my love for you grows with every passing day and I doubt two minutes have passed in the last several months without me thinking of you at least once. You make me complete, you fill this gaping hole in my heart and my soul as no one else can, and I look forward to the day when we are married. By the way, along with angy, I "inherit" six more children whom I will support, too.

    Life is good!
     
  4. Knight-7x6

    Knight-7x6 New Member

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    1. Girl I messed around with as a kid (playin 'mums and dads' etc, I guess not love but just what happens when youre so close for a few years. The sister of my childhood best mate too, still see both of them from time to time.

    2. A few in my teens, one just unbelievably beautiful, another not as attractive on the outside but moreso in other ways.

    3. A lady I have the internet to thank for, it is a very strange 'love' I guess since we've never met, I was always too scared to go. Amazingly beautiful woman and so kind.

    I still care about all of them and care how they're doing...pathetic or what lol.
     
  5. txquis

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    I dont think it's pathetic at all.
    I wonder about my exes...and my unrequited.
    I think it is normal.

    Love feels good a long time, and it hurts a long time.
     
  6. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    hmmmm how to make a long story short.....

    Highschool: I dated several guys through grades 9-11, some for months, others one night stands (yes sad but true). Then in Grade 12 I met a really awesome guy (lets call him Mr.A) We dated all that year, and he proposed to me at graduation (talk about NO presure *insert sarcasm here*) well, I broke it off that summer following grad, he just wasn't the guy that I pictured my life with forever. That, and he got heavily into drugs wich caused a few incidents health related that made me worry.He had just changed wayyyy to much.

    Immediately following highschool: I moved to another city, and did the same thing as Surf221. Knew a guy who moved around the same time as I did, he went to University here, and I worked. We knew each other from back in highschool. Hung out cause we were like the only two people in the world at that time. And one thing led to another we hook up. I think its casual sex, he starts calling me his girlfriend and within a few months we break it off. No hard feelings, and we were friends for years after that (Mr.B ). ( I later became friends with the girl he dated right after me)

    Following this relationship I hook up with an old guy from back in the day (starting to see a pattern here aren't ya?) {he dated a friend of mine in highschool and was also best friend with Mr.B ) We became really close, and had this "connection" that niether of us had had before. So one weekend I go to visit (he lived back home) and didn't go back. Six months later I got pregnant, and four months after our child was born we got married. Six months later I left him (Mr.C). Packed up my shit in a U haul and got the hell outta Dodge.

    I moved to a different city (the one I left to be with him). And met a few people.

    I was introduced to a guy one night by the ex girlfriend of Mr.B. I thought he was hot and cute etc.... but we didn't see each other for a while (Mr.X)

    Had a fling with a nice guy, he had education, he was hung, he was cute.....but there was nothing more there than sex.......and it wasn't even "rock my world sex", it was good, but could have been better lol. After a while I realized that even though he was like 7 years older than me, he just wasn't mature enough so thus endeth that relationship.

    As coincidence would have it, my ex from highschool (Mr.A), had moved to the same city and we called and had coffee, hung out and partied a few times. He wanted to get back together, I thought about it, but decided against it. He met someone on the internet and is now happily married to her.

    Then the ex girlfriend of Mr.B invites me out and who is there but the guy I hadn't seen in a few months (Mr.X). The three of us end up hanging out lots. He and I enjoy each others company so we hang out more (always with the girl who introduced us and some friends. Then one night she couldn't hang with us so he and I exchanged numbers through her, had diner, and almost 7 years later we're happily married and have two kids.

    Yes I have been in love more than once, and yes I have gotten my heart broken once or twice, but I am here and so far its been one helluva ride!
     
  7. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    My first relationship was back in high school. It lasted just under 3 years. It was a great experience. I learned a lot about myself, and a little about women too. We broke up just before graduation on good terms. We were both going to college but in different hemispheres. Please don’t assume that because we broke up on good terms and for good reasons, that it was any easier. In fact, I think it would have been easier if we had broken up amid verbal abuse and mutual hatred. She will always have a very special place in my heart.

    My second relationship lasted only a few months. I was in college and was quickly falling for her when I caught her cheating on me. I will spare you all the humiliating details. For a while I didn’t pursue any more relationships in order to avoid being hurt again. I was merely interested in having frequent “commitment free” sex in order to somehow regain my masculinity. Yes I know. I never said I was thinking rationally.

    My third relationship was also in college. It was with my roommate and my first and only male partner. Please don’t infer anything about why I wrote “only”. It is merely a statement of fact. In retrospect, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It allowed me to explore and embrace my gay desires. It was another relationship in which I learned a lot about myself. The problem is I don’t know how to really classify the relationship. We weren’t really a “thing”. But I sure as hell don’t want to reduce it to merely being “fuck buddies”. I can honestly say I loved him and he loved me. But we kept our feelings and our activities out of public knowledge. Neither of us wanted to be a “couple”. We just wanted to explore this whole new world together. I’m not sure I’m really getting my point across. It’s not easy to explain and frankly I’m not sure I have sorted through all the issues anyways.

    My final (hopefully final) is of course with my wife. (Btw, yes she does know about my relationship with my roommate. In fact we had a few threesomes together before we got married.) I’m not sure what to say about my marriage besides, so far, so good. We've been married for almost nine years now and she hasn't killed me for the insurance money yet. :p
     
  8. txquis

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    very interesting replies so far.
    I hope there will be more.
    If this thread had more to do with big dicks and cum,
    there would be 225 responses.
    :blush:
    :lol:
     
  9. zzorus

    zzorus New Member

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    Thanks Txquis for raising this topic. I’ve found this forum to be full of very sensitive and intelligent people, and I have learnt a lot from reading posts. There is a lot of raw emotional honesty here, from which I have learnt a lot; so I post the following in the hope that it may be of some use or help to others.

    When I was in College I fell in love with a fellow male student.
    I took some night classes, and I think we met one night in a lift, and he offered to drive me home rather than take my usual bus. We started to spend some time together, mostly talking. He was married, with a young child. His wife left him that year, and after this happened, I moved into his flat. This was a completely non-sexual relationship; and in his terms he rescued me from my dire living situation.
    I gradually became besotted with him, and his family. Previously as a student, I had no discipline, and for the first time I began to study in an organized fashion, following his example. I began to get good grades, and won some prizes. We wrote each lovely, loving letters and notes, about how much we meant to each other. Again, this was an emotional, not a sexual relationship: he was awarded custody of his child, and we moved to a larger place.
    In retrospect, I think what I was doing was to try to have him fall in love with me by force of personality, so that when something sexual happened, it would not be because of my homosexuality, of which I was not consciously aware at the time.
    Again in retrospect, from his point of view, his sense of self worth, damaged by his failed teenage marriage, was being bolstered by my emotional connection and attention. After two years of being worshipped by me, he found a girlfriend: and she soon threw me out.

    I do think I loved him; it may well have been an immature love-an extended delayed adolescent crush ( which I did not experience in adolescence). Or maybe he was just a narcissist all along? But I think that is a too bitter thought; I really think I loved him.

    Two years later I was doing a postgraduate course and a woman in the same class started to become interested in me. I was astonished by this: it was outside my experience. Apparently she found me witty and interesting and intelligent: I discovered this in the book stacks in the library when I asked her advice. Some older people in the same class kept inviting us to social events. Eventually, it dawned on me what was happening, and why I was just so melting inside and wanting to spend all my time with this other student. Later, the older students told me that they saw we were just made for each other, that we were just so much in love.

    I experienced sex for the first time: I felt completely different. The very next day a friend asked me to look after his flat for a week. We moved in together for the week.

    Shortly after, my girlfriend’s situation changed: we moved in together as a couple. And for me it was a delirious, happy time. We visited her mother interstate once or twice a year. We had a rich and fulfilling life together; and we started saving seriously to be able not to work, but to fulfill our dreams of leading creative lives overseas.

    Then one winter’s Saturday night four years later, she announced she was leaving me. I basically went catatonic: just left speechless and completely dumbfounded. My world had collapsed without any warning. She went to stay with a friend of mine, who told me she cried the whole time.
    A few days later, she returned. I never asked why she had left: I have my suspicions ( all to do with me). And perhaps my not asking shows that I failed to communicate well in this relationship.
    And I would like to stress that I found our relationship very loving and very liberating, especially sexually.
    But now things were fraught; perhaps I did not want to be hurt again so I probabaly raised barriers. After the next family visit, my girlfriend departed to quite different living conditions, where she was happier. We met a few times in her new home, but I was treated as an outsider by her new friends.

    After some time, I thought I would be able to meet some new woman or women, but never did.

    An opportunity to travel arose, and I spent time away in different environments. Here I experienced homosexual sex for the first time and realized what it was about me. My girlfriend had liberated me sexually, and I had always been in some sort of denial about my gay side, even though I thought I was being open about it. I had repressed my real desires.. And I realized that I was not bi, but gay: and I think she had known, but I had not, and that is why she had left me.

    Then I met a beautiful man, a really beautiful man. I could not believe that a man as beautiful as he could like me, let alone love me. I experienced far more happiness than I could ever have dreamed possible for me.
    But there was a problem: we lived on different continents. But we managed an emotional life together despite the distance: we had a few weeks together each year. And those weeks were what I lived for.
    We later tried to move to each other’s countries, but could not do so, basically for practical/ employment/visa reasons.
    We tried, but our relationship failed. But it was worth the attempt. It was an unconditional loving relationship, even though it did not last more than 5 years. I think of him and miss him every day.
    I know I have had a rich and fulfilling emotional life though it has had its rollercoaster aspects.
    So I will end where I began: some of the posts in this forum have been really helpful and enlightening for me. I hope this one in turn may help others.
     
  10. Kimahri

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    I've had some experiences. Several one nighters turned into something more. I've only had 4 boyfriends, but severa relations with nongay dudes, but not boyfriends. Had girlfriends in high school.

    Currently working to get into a LTR.
     
  11. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

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    You know I find it kinda funny that I have pretty much no reservations whatsoever talking about my body, sex, etc.; but when it came to matters of the heart, I have found myself avoiding this thread like the plague. Why? Perhaps I have built up walls to help protect myself. Or maybe I've learned not to share the intimate details of my heart due to people dipping in and putting there nose in my business when no of it really concerned them. I think that it is more than likely a combination of all of the above. However, I'm gonna go ahead and lay it out on the line here and hopefully the results will be therapeutic.

    I have and will always be a helpless romantic. It's just something in my nature and it's not always, as Martha Stewart would say, "A good thing." Although I only had a few relationships in high school, I do not count them as 'real relationships' because I feel that as a teenager you really have no concept what really being in love is. The first really serious relationship I had was with a guy I met in a show. I came into the tour as a replacement cast member and I met this wonderful guy and we just completely hit it off. Now, I've never exactly been a subtle person. I see what I want and I go after it until I either get it or I loose interest, so I decided that I was going to really pursue this guy not that I had to try too terribly hard. Everything was great. Life on the road has its ups and downs (I have played cities in this country and couldn't tell you a thing about it other than what the theatre looks like and even those blend together after a while) but when you are in love and on tour with that person, well it's pretty close to nirvana. Things were wonderful until we played his hometown. Mind you I had been with the company for a little over 6 months by then so our relationship had a chance to truly develop. I assumed that he would stay at home with his family and not at the hotel with the rest of the company. I was looking forward to meeting his family and spending some time with him in his hometown, etc. Well, the day that we loaded in to the venue this guy walks over to the loading dock where a bunch of us are hanging out and throws his arms around the guy I had been dating and starts kissing him and what not. Now the entire company knew that we were dating and I could feel all eyes cutting into me like daggers. He smiled and turned and looked at everyone and then looked right at me and said, "Hey everyone, this is my boyfriend Roger and we're gonna have a party at our apartment Thursday night after the show." Well, needless to say I went from shock to anger pretty quickly. I refused to talk to him at all for the next day because I needed some time to cool myself down. Afterwards I let him know that what he did was unacceptable. He told me that he and his boyfriend had an understanding that while he was on tour they could date other people. I of course was oblivious to this understanding and would have never approached the boy romantically had I known that he had sentimental attachments elsewhere. (That is that story in a nutshell, albeit a not so brief version.)

    I had another relationship a couple years after that but it just didn't work out. We were both so passionate about everything that we did and about each other but we were just too different. Basically we were to hot headed Italians so we would fight then fuck but it soon turned into more fighting than fucking.

    The last major relationship I've had was with someone I believe to be one of my soul mates. It was love at first sight, well okay maybe lust ;) Everything was about perfect. Of course we had our highs and lows but all relationships do, no? The only reason our relationship ended was because he decided to pursue film and moved out to LA. We are still very much friends and talk to each other, even though not as much as I would like. He will always have a huge part of my heart.

    I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. I am pretty contented being alone. I have my work and I have some amazing friends whom I cherish dearly. I wish more sex was in the picture but like I said in another thread I am as Mme Z put it "an elitist asshole." LOL I am pretty picky about my men but like most people I have had a couple one night stands that were a bit regrettable the next morning. I think society really tries to force people to feel like they are not complete unless they are in a serious relationship. I however don't believe that to be true. I think what makes a person complete is being themselves and loving themselves and having people around them whom they love and are loved in return. Besides, I'm not ready to be a housewife! ;)

    Wow, I really had no intention of rambling on like that :excl:
     
  12. txquis

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    I'm glad you posted, jeep...
    I started the thread to find out if people had been through what i have....and you have, that is for sure.

    I am also a professional actor, i have spent months on the road, too, and i fell for a castmate, and became intimate with him.
    When we got to Detroit he suddenly dumped me (family and friends were around) and then picked me up again.....before dumping me the final time.

    Yikes. Awful, aint it.
    I didnt put him on my list here, interestingly. I tend to block it out.
    Things were really heated during the last leg of the tour and i'll never forget the heartbreak, lying in bed with the guy, knowing we were returning to NYC the next day and him saying, "It wont be the same when we get back"...Meaning, "its over when we get back"

    Hugs to you, oh nice one, i know of this stuff.
     
  13. B_HungSpermBoy

    B_HungSpermBoy New Member

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    The first person I ever loved was my best friend when I was 8 years old.

    I dated many girls when I was in high school. I had two "serious" relationships during that time. I'm not exactly sure if I was "in love" or what it was, but both girls were very beautiful to me. I loved them as well as I could at the time, but I wasn't a very focused guy. I was more involved with sports & partying.

    Now in college I met my present girlfriend, who is beautiful and very sexy to me. She is an amazing person. We have a great friendship as well as being lovers, but we're not real compatible in the sex department. She loves me as much as I've ever been loved, so she's the best relationship I've ever had. But I'm just 18 so I don't know what will happen in the future.
     
  14. soccerfanatic

    soccerfanatic New Member

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    I had a gf once when I was 17, we were pretty serious and had deep feelings for each other, we broke up over the size issue though, which really hurt cos she meant a lot to me :(

    Since her, and before her, the closest I got to romance was sitting next to a girl on the bus once :)

    And of course there's my bitch from this site, the very sexy Kim, I'm working my moves on her atm hehe :p ;)
     
  15. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

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    :wub:
    Ya know, I have a tendency to block out a lot of the bullshit as well. I always say that everything happens for the best even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Being on tour is so surreal anyway. It's always like living in a bit of a fantasy or like being on 'The Real World' without the cameras all the time! :D
     
  16. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    You guys are lucky to have past loves...I personally don't think I have been in love - several serious relationships w/women - but don't think I ever allowed myself to fall in love...Still looking for the right person - not giving up...
     
  17. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

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    Believe me, it will find you! :)
     
  18. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Believe me, it will find you! :)
    [post=276988]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Thanks - I do believe that...This site proves that there are others - not alike myself...
     
  19. Kimahri

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    Finding the right person is extremely important. The divorce rate is really high and I can't say it's not because poeple are just settling versus waiting for the right one, just so they aren't odd man or woman out.

    Been there done that and got the scars from it.

    Hang in there man.
     
  20. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Sorry, guys. I'm pretty much an open book here, but this is one thing I can't spill my guts about. I'd rather spare myself the indignity of appearing to wallow in my remembrance of past love.
     
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