Your start in being bi or gay

g_whiz

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But that was your choice, you were not born and the fist thing you tried to do is suck the doctors cock.

This isn't a very smart argument. Sexual orientation doesn't merely have to do with sex. It has to do with attraction, both physical and emotional. Having a sexual preference is one thing, the other components- like emotional and physical attraction are quite another. Sexuality isn't anywhere near as simple a topic as the way its typically discussed.
 

hornygamer89

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As quoted from: Five Logical Errors of Born Gay Ideology - Christian News, Commentary

Error 1: Sexual orientation cannot change

If present at birth, sexual orientation could come from either biology or psychology. If biological, then a medical procedure may be discovered to alter it. Science gushes with the ability to change things we were born with, especially conditions which past generations considered permanent. We can treat genetic diseases, repair cleft palates, perform height-enhancing surgeries and even perform sex-change operations.

Similarly, if the issue is psychological, treatments may be possible. Many traits and behavioral patterns people believe ought or need to be changed can be adjusted by good counseling or psychopharmacology. Simple induction concludes that if medicine goes looking for a treatment for homosexuality, it might find one.

Many gays will be outraged at this line of reasoning. But why? We’ve been told that homosexuality can’t be a choice—apparently because so few would choose it. Clearly some gays would relish the power to turn their unwanted condition into an optional one. And why shouldn’t other gays be happy for those who would then be truly free to choose? After all, they’re happy for sex-change operations, which make it possible for transgender persons to undo the birth nature they think was mistakenly given them. How can gender be so fixably wrong but sexual orientation so unfixably right?

Error 2: I have no choice about how I behave

There are two kinds of inborn behavioral tendencies: the resistible and the irresistible. Unless we are supposed to believe that homosexuality is so involuntary that every gay sex act is literally a matter of biological determinism, we are left with the more plausible alternative: the desire to have gay sex does not compel anyone to actually ever have gay sex. One may not be able to control who attracts him, but he can certainly control who he has sex with. Consider the non sequitur of a gay man offering to explain last night’s particular sexual encounter by saying, “Well, I was born gay, you know.”

Free will is precisely the capacity to resist a carnal urge. If a gay person can refrain from sex even once, he has shown such free will. Thus, sexual choices devolve to him, not to his inborn disposition. Of course, straight people and gay people alike deny their sexual impulses all the time.

Error 3: If I was born gay, then acting upon it must be good

No one denies that gays have strong desires to be sexual with like-minded, like-bodied others. But strong desires do not justify behavior. Otherwise the study of ethics would be nothing more than the articulation of our impulses.

Some men may be born promiscuous (and perhaps most are), but this doesn’t legitimize adultery (or polygamy, for that matter). Since morality involves precisely the question of which desires are good to act upon, gay behavior cannot be justified merely on the grounds of experienced gay desire.

Error 4: If I was born gay, then this is simply who I am

In gay doctrine, being gay isn’t seen as an important part of one’s identity. It’s seen as the definitive center of it. But why should this be so?

I am a Christian, a talk-show host, a baseball fan, right-handed, a philosopher, red-headed, from St. Louis and heterosexual. None of these is the sum or limit of my identity. However, the ones I’ve chosen or chosen to act upon define me far more than those I happened to be born with. Thus, though choosing to have gay sex is certainly a key part of one’s identity, being born with the predilection to do so is not.
 

g_whiz

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But how can you be sure that the emotional and physical attraction is already set as soon as your are born?

Do you want my honest answer? As someone who's studied a sociology for a decade or so, I think the emotional and the physical are both biologically percsribed and socially maintained. Its possible that sexual orientation could have a biological component, and people be predisposed towards homosexuality. I know a lot of family studies have pointed to this possibility, the idea that gayness or orientation can be impacted by one's heredity.
[ Study Links Gay Men To Older Brothers - CBS News ]

The social/environmental component is just as important though. Same sex attraction and behavior has existed throughout much of man's history, if not all of it. However, what is considered attractive (like Venus figures) varies from culture to culture and from time period to time period. The culture one exists in tends to dictate harder lines of social control on where the parameters of that (public behavior) begin and end. We're given a particular series of guidelines to play with (i.e- Disney Princesses and Barbie Dolls) regarding what is ideal beauty and as we age, we're nudged towards particular behaviors and expectations. A lot of same sex attraction is weeded out of everyday life because of the obnoxious amounts of homophobia in American culture at this point. It happens, its just that the stigmaqs are so great that it disinsentives this "choice" you're alluding to.

People do have options to be who they are, or act on what they're attracted to, yes...but we have to be able to own or understand where those attractions come from and what they mean overall. When it comes to the origins of sexual orientation, its a mixed bag. But nurture tends to inhibit, directly, the potential for a lot of people who would otherwise make other choices if their cultures weren't so sexually repressive.

(i.e- the Kinsey scale)
 

g_whiz

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Well, my first crush was on my best friend when I was 11. He liked frogs, comic books and nintendo? Whats not to like? So yeah, when most guys started getting over the girls have cooties phase, I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't. After I graduated high school I put it all together and figured it was better to be honest about who and what I was attracted to, than to conform to others expectations to make everyone else happy.

So, I started being gay/bi well before I "chose" to be publicly so. If thats...what you're asking about...
 

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The only things that I had a choice in, was to stop punishing myself and denying that I was indeed attracted to both sexes. Believe me, if it was a choice, I "would have" chosen to be straight!

However, now that I have accepted myself for who I am, I'm a lot happier.
 

kaffekul

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Even if we assume that being gay, straight or whatever isn't something you're born as... That doesn't mean you can consider it to be a choice. A preference is not a choice, likeing pizza is not a choice, having a phobia for something isn't a choice and being gay or straight is not a choice either. It is simply not something we pick and choose. If it was I would be able to choose to become a certain person with no difficulties. I can strive to become something and try to enjoy something but that is it.
 

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I don't for one minute think that being gay is a choice. i remember
having an interest in looking at my classmates' cocks in the bathroom
when we were in kindergarten. It is what it is and the argument that one
chooses to be gay is as stupid as saying that one chooses to be heterosexual.
 

tallandlean

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To follow up on what I said, an individual's sexual preference is innate, but
he or she can choose not to act on them. Regardless of how one appears in
society the interest in members of the same sex can never be fully
eradicated in my opinion if one is born that way.
 

Boobalaa

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growing up around M/F cousins a few years older helped a lot..having an auntie who was a Stripper and worked late night hours gave us kids plenty of play time...learning environment and adult example also has a lil to do with it..But the main idea here is..If it feels good..do it..as long as it's not "hurting" anybody else....
 

bigdicksarebest

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You cant be born gay. It is a choice. Now in your case, you may have been interested in guys at some point, but you were not born that way.


And I quote from your original post "I am not here to cause any arguments." Yeah really sounds like it to me..And you couldn't have been born straight. You chose to be that way and there is no way you could have been born straight...Sounds pretty stupid huh?..I have always been gay just as you have always been straight...End of argument! Now move along and go play nice...
 
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There are a lot of extreme opinions on this thread. To respond to the original question, as I went through puberty, my initial attraction was toward my male friends in my class. As I realized the inplications of this, that I could be gay, a slough of emotions followed. Shame, that my parents wouldn't love me. Fear that I would go to Hell, fear of how I would be set apart from all my other friends and subsequently be ridiculed...
I did not choose my sexual orientation, and to address the original poster's allusions: No, something 'did not happen to me when I was younger' to make me gay. I was not molested or any crazy sh*t like that.

To address other views that imply that you should not act on your sexual desires because of your innate homosexual attractions...Certainly off-topic on this thread, but regardless, all I'd like to say is: put yourself in my shoes. Right guys? Have a great day. Be happier!
 

hot-rod

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I have always had an interest in women. Some of them are very beautiful. Women offer Gods greatest invention, pussy.
It's in your genes dude, in your genes. We don't have a choice. You can't make a gay man straight and you can't make a straight man gay. But you'll never make a right-wing christian comprehend that. I remember first grade elementary school when I had a 'crush' or liking for this little freckle faced redhead boy. Some men like men, some men like women, and some men like both. And the same goes for the ladies. This is why it's such a non issue in life. I mean, who should care?
 
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bored2009

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I understand most peoples curiosity but since when should it matter to any 'straight' person whether someone other then themselves is Gay or not? You shouldn't have to have an explanation for it because its not your life. If it IS a choice then so be it...That choice is of that person and not you.

I for one do not think it was a choice of my own, and coming from a small hillbilly hicktown I was born and raised in - Being gay was the LAST thing I wanted to choose and tell everyone about. I was absolutely scared shit less and tried with everything in me up until I was 17 years old to be this 'straight' guy everyone expected me to be but in reality I was doing nothing but hurting not only myself but the girls I let get close to me! No matter how hard I tried to be with a girl and enjoy it - it felt completely wrong to me to the point of pushing my self into depression and eventually my parents put me in therapy. So to think I would lead this lie on past highschool and college, find a woman, have kids and later on down the road 'come out' was not an option for me. It killed me inside to think that I could ever hurt someone to that extent.

Within therapy I was allowed to finally talk to someone about what I was feeling and got some sort of direction I needed to take in my life with out some biased religion being smacked towards my face. At that point is when I was helped to learn that I need to do what is going to make me happy which in turn will make and keep me healthy. Not too long after that I was inadvertently introduced into the guy I still am with and living with to this very day and we are both not 24 years old. At that point in my life I had NEVER been more happy because I knew that the feelings I had ever since I could remember as a child was the CORRECT feeling compared to what everyone else had beat into my head as a child.

There are Millions of people that will disagree and fight my beliefs with everything they have BUT I AM THE ONE that has to live with myself and deal with my feelings and KNOW that I did not CHOOSE this. These feelings were here before I had even known the difference between gay and straight. I mean seriously...My mother and Father did not repeat to me every night before I went to bed, from birth until I knew what was going on "Gay is bad, your straight. Gay is bad, your straight"! How is one to know what is 'right and wrong' before they even know what 'right and wrong' is.

That's my opinion on my life. I know what I have lived and felt the last 24 years and I am not going to let anyone try to convince me I am wrong on what I have already battled and won against.