Your thoughts on promiscuity.

[Corius]

This is not intended as a poll. But, it has struck me that some members are happy with "sleeping around" while others see such activity in a different light.

I confess that the very thought terrified me as I liked to know a person before I could ever consider being intimate.

Let yourself go on this. If you have positive thoughts, let us have them.

If your thoughts are negative be sure to let us know what it was that turned you off.

 

[NY4Curious]

Being a flower child at heart (and in history) I have always believe in recreational sex and that sex was for fun. Hence, whenever, withever, however as long as it is consensual. I mean, personality and intelligence have nothing to do with sexual attraction or sexual gratification. This is strictly the hormones and physical attraction, and I say God Bless hormones, physical attraction and dirty little boys and girls. The only time I said "no", I didn't understand the question. I don't understand people's reluctance or moral judgements towards promiscuity. Both lead to needless transmission of disease of all sorts. Be honest about what you want and when and then do it when ever possible with whoever possible. You both will only feel better for doing this. That's my take and has been my philosophy since sex entered my life as a teenager. To quote an old Broadway musical: "I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss? I hope, I pray for Hester to win one more "A"! Lift your legs and hallelujah, Daddy's gonna give it to you!

 

[Bbucko]

"Promiscuity" is a loaded and intentionally vague word. Beyond self-diagnosis, everyone's free to interpret the word as s/he sees fit, and few people will agree on anything but the most extreme of examples.

Is having sex with 40 people in your life "promiscuous"? How about 40 people a year? A month? A day? Where is the line, who draws it and what are the consequences of perpetrating the "slut-stigma"?

Much like the word "normal", I struck "promiscuous" from my vocabulary about 35 years ago while still a virgin: it's an 8th Grade concept.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I don't really care what other people do, I'm not sharing my body with them. Unfortunately, I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family. I haven't quite been able to shake the feelings of guilt that would come from sleeping around, so I just don't.

I have said before that I would be uncomfortable with someone who had a lot of partners becoming my partner. But the more I've thought about this the more I realise the past should stay the past. I'm not sure what I would be comfortable with as I haven't been with someone who has had a lot of partners.

 

[salsfe]

It was fun hooking up several times a week in my college daze, I have no regrets, and luckily I the worst thing I ever got from my promiscuity was crabs, and well a minor treated infection in penis.

 

[nudeyorker]

When I was single I thought of it as "Demographic Market Research" I think as long as you are honest with yourself and with the people you are ummm "Researching" no harm no foul. The way I looked at it then was... "if you are willing to go home with me after I flatter you and buy you a few drinks we are on an equal moral playing field."

 

[spiritsong72]

In the interest of full disclosure I was a virgin until I turned 24. (DON'T JUDGE ME! LOL) Then I moved to NYC and promptly lost not only my virginity but my mind as well. Basically, my M.O. was if he stood on two legs and could get an erection I'd go home with him. I continued this pattern for the rest of my twenties.

Then I got over it.

I hit thirty and left NYC behind. (Although I still miss it terribly to this day.) As I was leaving NYC I happened across my mind (which had been lost for six years). I picked it up, dusted it off, put it back in my cranium and left.

Looking back at my six years in NYC I can honestly say I was a whore. But that is my label that I put on myself. No one else did it for me. But at the same time, I had friends in NYC who made my sexual activities look like the chaste side of Mother Theresa's. Was I promiscuous? I think I was. But in comparison to some, I certainly was not.

Nowadays I'm not so prone to throw my legs in the air for any guy who can get a hard on and walks on two legs. But at the same time, I'm far from celibate and believe I get my share. I tend to agree with Bbucko. "Promiscuity" is a word that is best left for each person to label themselves, or not. It's certainly not a label that should ever be applied to anyone else except yourself. Because once you start labeling other people that way, if you look around you'll find many more labels attached to you.

 

[HunglikeaDork]

"Promiscuity" is a loaded and intentionally vague word. Beyond self-diagnosis, everyone's free to interpret the word as s/he sees fit, and few people will agree on anything but the most extreme of examples.

Couldn't agree more there. Hit the nail right on the head.

However, my 2 cents is as such: having tons of sex and numerous sexual partners is only wrong if the person doing so feels it is wrong. I'm somewhat of a moral relativist and so what may be wrong for one person is not wrong for another. Judgments of someone's 'sluttiness' only stem from ignorance and a lack of empathy.

However, morality aside, there are risks such as the obvious health ones and contracting STD's. However, subtler risks such as sexual addiction and poor emotional coping and intimacy problems are part of it too. As such, promiscous behavior is in the eye of the beholder, if you judge these risks to be at an acceptably low level, then full steam ahead.

I myself haven't been particularly promiscuous in my life, I've only had a dozen or so partners, but on the flipside I wouldn't hesitate to be a pornstar if the opportunity came knocking.

 

[B_subgirrl]

If you are honest with everyone involved (including yourself) and practise safe sex, I don't see a problem with it.