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Rubenesque

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Here's the thing...

Summer/Autumn 2005 I was seeing this bloke after meeting online. We got on great, and he came over a few times. At one point he was over for a week and it was really great.

After he went home his family life got really complicated and it all sort of went tits up with us. I was devastated because I'd really fallen for him.

So, a few weeks ago he appeared back on the scene. And we've been chatting and getting on great again. He's made it clear he'd like the opportunity to make up for what happened before, and ultimately have us start again.

So... do I go with my head or my heart? My heart says "go for it!!" my head is saying "run you stupid bitch, run".

But I don't know what would be easier to deal with... my head being proved right or my heart always wondering.

What do you all think?
 

Stephenmass

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I'd go with your head simply because you really were not with him a long time before whatever happened happened. And if your head agreed with your heart I don't think you would have asked the question.

I'd like to think of it as gut instinct.
 

Rubenesque

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Dammit..... you're all supposed to tell me that I should go for it and offer cast iron guarantees that this time it'll work.... you're just mean! haha
 

Yorkie

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his family life got really complicated
Whatever the situation was - how likely is it to happen again?
It sounds like he lives a fair distance from you and this is mainly an internet relationship, right?
Proceed with a great deal of caution.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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If you are single now and think you'll always wonder - give it a try. I mean, if he didn't beat you, key your car, wasn't otherwise abusive... nothing wrong with giving someone who asks, partciulary when acknowledging their mistake, a second chance.

What have you really got to lose?
 

Rubenesque

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Whatever the situation was - how likely is it to happen again?
It sounds like he lives a fair distance from you and this is mainly an internet relationship, right?
Proceed with a great deal of caution.

It's about 90 miles (he's in Yorkshire actually lol). Last time round it was very rare that we'd chat online, we spent alot of time together and when not together we'd be on the phone. This time, we've just been chatting on the phone and online, so far.

The family situation was a huge family fall out (death in the family, hoohah about a will) that screwed him up.

Definitely being cautious... to the point of being an annoyance to a less persistant chap! lol
 

Rubenesque

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If you are single now and think you'll always wonder - give it a try. I mean, if he didn't beat you, key your car, wasn't otherwise abusive... nothing wrong with giving someone who asks, partciulary when acknowledging their mistake, a second chance.

What have you really got to lose?

I think I love you!! lol

I am single.. he was NEVER abusive in any way, shape or form.

I really WANT to give him a second chance, but there's always that fear of being hurt again isn't there.
 

new_n_curious

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Go for it girl. I actually think its sweet that he didnt want to involve you in his family stuff but got in contact once his head was sorted.

There is a fear of being hurt in any relationship babes and the next bloke you meet might be violent or possesive.

Hope it all turns out great for you.!
 

bbristow

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I think I love you!! lol

I am single.. he was NEVER abusive in any way, shape or form.

I really WANT to give him a second chance, but there's always that fear of being hurt again isn't there.

that's a risk you gotta take. go for it. see how it goes.
 

Rubenesque

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Awwwww thanks New. And you're so right, there is a chance of being hurt in any relationship... I suppose I have to decide whether to be brave or not don't I.

Edit: there was another thread about over analysing stuff, and I admitted without reservation that I do that. And this, I suppose, is a prime example. Someone on there said that we over analyse because we're terrified of the consequences of just going for things. So very very true!
 

Yorkie

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It's about 90 miles (he's in Yorkshire actually lol). Last time round it was very rare that we'd chat online, we spent alot of time together and when not together we'd be on the phone. This time, we've just been chatting on the phone and online, so far.

The family situation was a huge family fall out (death in the family, hoohah about a will) that screwed him up.

Definitely being cautious... to the point of being an annoyance to a less persistant chap! lol
Yorkshire - he's definitely trouble! :biggrin1:
So you never really had a big falling out,you just drifted apart when he was dealing with bereavement.If you're sure he's moved on and family conflicts aren't going to interfere anymore,there's no reason to close the door on him.
Only you know his personality and if he was to blame for the family argument.
 

Rubenesque

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Thanks TP - you're right.

I think I'll be more able to cope with heart ache than the constant "what ifs" if I don't give it a go!!

Right... think I've made up my mind... or.... ohhhhhhhhhh bugger, I hate all this! lol

If procrastination were an olympic sport England would love me!!
 

Rubenesque

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This has nothing to do with the thread, but TP - I just had a look at your gallery (because I'm nosy) and you have the nicest bottom I've seen in aaaaaaages. I'm so jealous!!