Your thoughts

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rubenesque, May 29, 2008.

  1. Rubenesque

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    Here's the thing...

    Summer/Autumn 2005 I was seeing this bloke after meeting online. We got on great, and he came over a few times. At one point he was over for a week and it was really great.

    After he went home his family life got really complicated and it all sort of went tits up with us. I was devastated because I'd really fallen for him.

    So, a few weeks ago he appeared back on the scene. And we've been chatting and getting on great again. He's made it clear he'd like the opportunity to make up for what happened before, and ultimately have us start again.

    So... do I go with my head or my heart? My heart says "go for it!!" my head is saying "run you stupid bitch, run".

    But I don't know what would be easier to deal with... my head being proved right or my heart always wondering.

    What do you all think?
     
  2. Stephenmass

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    I'd go with your head simply because you really were not with him a long time before whatever happened happened. And if your head agreed with your heart I don't think you would have asked the question.

    I'd like to think of it as gut instinct.
     
  3. Rubenesque

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    I know you're right.... I know it....

    why is doing the right thing sooooo hard, tisn't fair!!
     
  4. D_Relentless Original

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    I agree with Stephen, your hurting now, its easier to get over than being totally devastated later on, seriously i have been there D, but you know the circumstances better than us .
     
  5. Rubenesque

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    Dammit..... you're all supposed to tell me that I should go for it and offer cast iron guarantees that this time it'll work.... you're just mean! haha
     
  6. Yorkie

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    Whatever the situation was - how likely is it to happen again?
    It sounds like he lives a fair distance from you and this is mainly an internet relationship, right?
    Proceed with a great deal of caution.
     
  7. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    If you are single now and think you'll always wonder - give it a try. I mean, if he didn't beat you, key your car, wasn't otherwise abusive... nothing wrong with giving someone who asks, partciulary when acknowledging their mistake, a second chance.

    What have you really got to lose?
     
  8. Rubenesque

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    It's about 90 miles (he's in Yorkshire actually lol). Last time round it was very rare that we'd chat online, we spent alot of time together and when not together we'd be on the phone. This time, we've just been chatting on the phone and online, so far.

    The family situation was a huge family fall out (death in the family, hoohah about a will) that screwed him up.

    Definitely being cautious... to the point of being an annoyance to a less persistant chap! lol
     
  9. Rubenesque

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    I think I love you!! lol

    I am single.. he was NEVER abusive in any way, shape or form.

    I really WANT to give him a second chance, but there's always that fear of being hurt again isn't there.
     
  10. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    Go for it girl. I actually think its sweet that he didnt want to involve you in his family stuff but got in contact once his head was sorted.

    There is a fear of being hurt in any relationship babes and the next bloke you meet might be violent or possesive.

    Hope it all turns out great for you.!
     
  11. bbristow

    bbristow New Member

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    that's a risk you gotta take. go for it. see how it goes.
     
  12. TinyPrincess

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    Follow your heart - love is from the heart not the mind...

    Chances for being hurt is the same...
     
  13. Rubenesque

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    Awwwww thanks New. And you're so right, there is a chance of being hurt in any relationship... I suppose I have to decide whether to be brave or not don't I.

    Edit: there was another thread about over analysing stuff, and I admitted without reservation that I do that. And this, I suppose, is a prime example. Someone on there said that we over analyse because we're terrified of the consequences of just going for things. So very very true!
     
  14. Yorkie

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    Yorkshire - he's definitely trouble! :biggrin1:
    So you never really had a big falling out,you just drifted apart when he was dealing with bereavement.If you're sure he's moved on and family conflicts aren't going to interfere anymore,there's no reason to close the door on him.
    Only you know his personality and if he was to blame for the family argument.
     
  15. Rubenesque

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    lol yes Yorkie.... he's one of them there funny Northern types... a Sheffield lad!
     
  16. TinyPrincess

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    Just do it!!! Go for it - it's the only way to know the answer!!!
     
  17. Rubenesque

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    Thanks TP - you're right.

    I think I'll be more able to cope with heart ache than the constant "what ifs" if I don't give it a go!!

    Right... think I've made up my mind... or.... ohhhhhhhhhh bugger, I hate all this! lol

    If procrastination were an olympic sport England would love me!!
     
  18. TinyPrincess

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    What ifs are a waste of your life - just nail him to your bed until you know the answer in your heart...
     
  19. Rubenesque

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    This has nothing to do with the thread, but TP - I just had a look at your gallery (because I'm nosy) and you have the nicest bottom I've seen in aaaaaaages. I'm so jealous!!
     
  20. TinyPrincess

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    Well, if I had half of your breasts my BF would be drooling like a baby...

    (Thanks)
     
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