Ask A Woman
Look, your question was "Any of you have partners / wives who know about your same sex attraction and shes ok with it."
If a straight man has same-sex attraction, he's not straight. Closeted, in denial, whatever... but not straight.
I understand curiosity. I understand experimentation. I understand shit happening during group sex. I understand a horny drunk guy. I understand that some guys don't have any more problem sitting on a couch jerking off to porn with each other just like they were drinking beer and fishing.
None of that necessarily means they have a same-sex attraction, and why they consider themselves 99/1 or 90/10 Straight/Gay. It's bullshit to me, but if that floats their boat... whatever.
If they had some prevalent, pervasive "same-sex attraction" and say they're straight, they're lying to someone. That's why you got the answers you got, and why there's no need for your attempts to argue to straight guys that straight guys aren't straight.